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4 [Year 501 Winter]








Arabian x Fjord


15 hh







Last Visit:

01-25-2021, 08:38 PM


Signos: 225 (Donate)
Total Posts: 0 (Find All Posts)
Total Threads: 0 (Find All Threads)

colors & tones
This is how it feels, this is how it feels - How it feels to be lost
Jasper is considered blue dun, due to the mostly monochrome tones of his coat in shades of gray, creme and white, with darker partial primitive markings. The primitive markings include the usual dun dorsal stripe in charcoal black, upper and lower fading dark slate leg stockings. The stockings fade upwards into the overall gray tones of the rest of his coat, while the lower fade of the stockings drift into a soft rose petal peach color. His hooves are also this color, as is his muzzle. Some of this tone is faint at his undersides and the thinner, sensitive areas of his body as well.

Most of his face is creme and white, aside from the peach-pink hues extending from his muzzle, the charcoal tones that darken around his eyes, and the dorsal stripe also sweeps into a point partway down his face. Jasper's eyes are a starry, milky-way dark blue mixture without distinguishable pupils. His mane and tail are the shades of grays with the charcoal dorsal stripe in the middle strands of both, where the tail fades into and ends fully in the charcoal tones. His ears, too, fade up from the grays of his coat and into the darker shades that end in charcoal at the tips.

physical aspects
Why am I always on the brink of losing it all?
This boy's stature is an elegantly posed, slender, leggy Arabian and Fjord mix that stands at fifteen hands high. His build takes most after a softer Arabian look, with lighter bones and delicate features. He has a medium length, silky mane that curves up in a sort of floppy mohawk, while his tail is a semi-prehensile drape-down flowing kirin type. Jasper has long, fluffy but pointed ears, cloven hooves, and shoulder fluff that almost looks like there should have been wings, but it remained fur rather than feathering.

traits, etc.
I’m, yeah I’m a little crazy - But can you really blame me?
Positive traits:
• open-minded • kind • affectionate • idealistic • passionate • dedicated • energetic

Positive traits:
• reserved • impractical • sensitive • self-conscious • emotional • anxious • hesitant

• snuggling • flowers/nature • cozy places to sleep • attention

• feeling ignored/unwanted • manipulation • feeling trapped • pain/trauma

Why do I do this to myself? - Why do I put myself through hell?
Jasper likes focus where his attention is concerned; on a few select others, whatever his current goals are, or anything else. He can be fairly good at understanding motives and reading the emotions of others if he is around someone enough to do so. However, he does not like to let many others in, and can be difficult to get to know without constant effort. Jasper is reserved, shy, and somewhat self-conscious. If he is feeling overwhelmed, he will have the need to disappear from the presence of most others for a while to regroup and think things over.

When there is a good deal of stress, or something like a big decision on his mind that needs to be weighed and figured out, Jasper is most likely to evade the proximity, advice or support of others that he would give to those he cares about in a similar situation. Stress can also make him overly emotional, even if he won't show it. Those very emotions can affect his judgement, or cause him to withdraw from those around him. Criticism is also not taken very well, he's sensitive, and he tends to read far too into statements and internalize whatever he feels on it.

Jasper would rather show kindness to others, to lend a helping hand where needed, because he is optimistic and wants to believe that others can be good if you give them a chance. He believes in giving most a chance if they might be misunderstood, and if someone does what they think is right, he will support that so long as it doesn't go against his values and morals. Jasper dislikes being constrained by rules, but tried to avoid conflict where possible, valuing peaceful approaches opposed to anything else. He doesn't like to be controlled and doesn't want to control others, either.

Jasper is dedicated and hard working when he sets his mind to something. He can be passionate and energetic on these matters, going so far as to be impractical enough to neglect eating and drinking when too focused on something. He often drifts into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical of a situation. This goes for things of a romantic nature as well. Jasper is prone to taking his time getting to know someone who catches his interest, because once he bonds to someone, it's an intense thing that he takes seriously.

He doesn't rush to commit, but when he does, he is generous in his affection, and support of a loved one. He tries to adapt to the wants and needs of a romantic partner, wanting to ensure that their needs are satisfied above his own without trying to seem too needy. He is most interested in seeing to his partner's needs above his own. Jasper also leans towards idolizing a chosen partner, seeing past any flaws. He will go to great lengths to ensure that the relationship he is in is something that is what his partner wants, and would make them happy.

chapter one
Life Is walking on a tightrope - with nothing but a blindfold
Growing up was just as easy and confusing as one would expect; there was a lot to learn in short bursts of time. Jasper wasn't truly lacking for much, though perhaps a mother might have been nice. Not the memory of the girl that dropped him off with his father and never looked back. Kohl didn't have a lot of nice things to say about Aldonza, but frankly he did not say much about her at all, aside from the fact that she had left and gave no real reason for it. Motherhood wasn't for her. That was fine, they didn't need her anyway.

Kohl did his best, and his best wasn't terrible. Jasper was a fairly happy kid, if not quite shy and reserved. They didn't socialize nearly enough, but that never bothered Jasper too much. He had fields to run and roam, woods to tangle up in, animals to dance alongside. And then there was Killean across the way, over the wall that separated one land from the other. This wall did not keep them apart as Kohl would have liked. Those on the other side were dangerous, he'd say. Killean wasn't dangerous, and Jasper wouldn't be held back from becoming fast friends with the other boy.

They became close, nearly inseparable, despite the fact that parentals on either side were not too keen on the idea of it; they belonged to different groups, groups that did not mix well. Jasper and Killean didn't much care about that. They hung out under the proverbial radar, grew up side by side, having fun, exploring the world around them. Of course, Killean had more access to the outside world with the group on the other side of the wall, but this never bothered Jasper. He was perfectly content in his little bubble. And with Killean.

chapter two
For every step that I take, I take two steps back
The story turned just as anyone might suspect it would, with the two finding new ways to explore each other. A turning point in that friendship, but it was a slow progression, settling into something that seemed right as rain to them. It wasn't so for the other side, for Killean's group when they started to suspect what was going on under their noses. Killean was meant for something else, for someone else. The moment they really started to notice the situation, the groups were much more adamant on keeping the pair apart.

Forbidden to hang out at all, even. Killean's group were hard set against such a relationship in general, even if Killean wasn't meant for a girl in one of the group's families. Except he very much was. Did Jasper and Killean find ways to sneak around with each other? Yes, yes they did. And at one point, Killean threw out the idea of running away together, but Jasper simply wasn't ready for such a thing. It was one of those defining moments, and Jasper wasn't ready nor willing to take that kind of step. The world out there was a scary place.

Was it a mistake? Oh, there were plenty of mistakes. The day that the girl with her eye on Killean began to blackmail Jasper; that was the second mistake. Allowing Caroline to get to him like that, threaten those terrible things against Killean if Jasper did not do precisely as she wished him to do. It wasn't as if it made any sense to Jasper, though, Caroline wanting that from him. To hurt Killean? Turn the other away from him over? Okay, sure. Except she decided to keep it going instead of use it to cut at Killean right off.

chapter three
It’s like a punch to the face - It’s like a knife right in the-
Yet eventually, the truth came out as it always does. Dirty deeds done in the dark always came to light at some point, after all. When Killean confronted Jasper about catching that particular scent on Caroline, Jasper reminded himself that it wasn't his place to spill the secrets. He had to pretend it was what he wanted, that he was doing it of his own volition, else he might step over the lines set forth by that blackmail. Jasper couldn't risk that and what would happen to Killean if he did. Caroline wanted Killean to think Jasper was nothing more than a cheating dirtbag.

And Jasper had to play the part, no matter how much doing so pained him. He couldn't make excuses for what he had done, couldn't tell the whole truth, and that put him in the horrible corner he found himself in while telling Killean it was what he wanted to do, and so he had done it. That he had wanted to try something new, something different. Nothing more, nothing less. Just this. Jasper was internally sick over the entire matter, the pain he knew he was putting Killean through to say these things. And who should interrupt? Caroline.

The secret was made public, and that twisted Jasper up more. Jasper cheating on Killean after everything they had been through, out there for everyone to know. This was not the creature Jasper wanted to be, but he was in too deep to dig himself out. Yet it was public, and in so being, Jasper found his way out of it, 'breaking' it off with both in a very public way. And he did it, walked away. Said he wanted to be alone. Jasper held onto that for as long as he could, and that was a good few weeks. Awful weeks, but the best he could manage out of the situation.

chapter four
It’s like a knife right in the back - Like a bullet to the head
Cutting off ties, being avoidant kept hidden things that Jasper wasn't nearly ready to learn, but he still got that wake up call. Taking time to himself in his favored meadow, and of course Killean knew where it was, and they were bound to meet up eventually, if they both ventured there enough. There were Killean's pleas to get back together, to find out why, and Jasper, still wanting to protect Killean from it all, told Killean to leave it alone. A thing that the other very well could not find it in himself to do. Instead, Killean told Jasper that Caroline was pregnant.

Would the ground open and swallow Jasper? No, no it would not, even if Jasper wished it were so. Yet he tried to do the right thing, confront her, tell her he had no intention of being a deadbeat dad. She denied it might even be his, that it existed at all, told him it wasn't any of his business, and avoided him. Jasper tried to wait it out, tried to be okay with it, focused on other things as much as he could. Until Killean came to him to tell him what Caroline had done, what Killean, too, had done. That there was no longer a pregnancy.

And Caroline was dead, too. Killed by Killean out of a fit of rage for ending that pregnancy. Then Killean going on about needing to run, now, for that crime. And, again, Jasper couldn't do it. This time thinking that it was all the same, more manipulations. From Killean, now. Was the other just trying to get him to go, finally, by using this against him? No, Jasper would have none of it, and turned away. That was not a life he could live, being on the run like that. It went downhill from there, and the rumors ran wild, just like the group ran Killean off, too.

chapter five
Why can’t I understand? - The blood is on my hands
Attempting to pick up the pieces of his life wasn't an easy feat, but he went through the motions, and eventually did start to date someone. A rough beginning, no doubt on this fact, because of how public so much was of what Jasper had gone through before. Yet he somehow made it work, for a while. It was going so well, so very well, and in this, Jasper finally felt able to break away from home and move. Leighton lived a fair deal away, but the visit was enough to get them wanting to see more of each other, to get serious in it all.

So they did. It was a whirlwind sort of thing, but Jasper found himself able to find happiness again, to shed a good deal of the pain and fear that had shadowed him over everything. Did it still hurt, how everything had gone? That he had lost Killean after all that time, all they had shared? Yes, of course it did. Yet Jasper was forging a new life, and he was able to grow more comfortable in that. There were the hurdles to get over like in every relationship, yes, but Jasper was grateful that this could be an out in the open thing, inside and out. No hiding.

Jasper was able to heal, just as he was able to show Leighton that even with the other's difficulties, with those reservations and closed off feelings regarding most others, there could still be someone out there willing to push aside judgement to try and understand. They had their new chapter, something that they could hold onto. Left behind were the years of Jasper's youth, childhood, and he was able to learn and grow from what he had endured. Terrible things that he couldn't fully shake, but some wounds ran deep.

chapter six
Now I’m standing on the edge - With nowhere to go
For a while, all seemed well and good in that fairytale situation between them. Until the distance began, and Jasper felt the way Leighton seemed to be drifting away from him. Pulled more into other things, and leaving Jasper feeling very much cut off and alone. It went on for months, and the night he was stood up by Leighton was the night Jasper felt the weakness enough to reach out to Killean. It was meant to be innocent, a need to talk, to feel less alone. To find out how the other had been, try to clear the air between them more.

Jasper stayed the night. A weakness that he regretted instantly the next morning, because it was the wrong thing to do, because it made him the one thing he hadn't wanted to be. This time it was his fault, his own doing. He had an emotional breakdown over it, returned to Leighton to confess what he had done and leave. Jasper went and started to do just that, but Leighton wasn't having any of it, Jasper leaving him. No, that conversation got dark fast, and perhaps it was another form of manipulation, keeping Jasper there with him. But Leighton did just that.

Threats of death, both of a suicidal and murderous nature from Leighton, and Jasper admitted that he would regret what he had done for the rest of his life, that he didn't mean it, the whole nine yards. Realizing that it was his growing distant and not Leighton's that had been his own downfall. His own anxiety and fears eating away at him that had cause that weakness to reach out where he shouldn't have. His own mental issues that had Jasper making those mistakes and regrets. Mistakes that brought out a much darker version of Leighton to the surface.

They tried to deal, tried to pretend it could get better, but the truth of it was out now, and the tides had changed. Jasper could feel the difference in it all, in Leighton, and there was no way back from that. From the way Leighton looked at him now, treated him. Jasper knew he deserved it, and more, but it was still too much on such a damaged, fragile and sad mind. It had become a new type of prison he did not know how else to escape. Jasper did his best to endure it, but in the end he took a jump off the highest cliff he could find - and woke up here, like this.

Active & Parvus Magic

Passive Magic

Bonded & Pets

Armor, Outfit, and Accessories

I’ve been stranded in an ocean - Treading water but it’s hopeless
Three free small items:
(1) A tiny copper rose earring in his left ear.
(2) Short braided green vine lei with white orchid flowers with blood red spots on them that is usually braided into his lower mane.
(3) Small drawstring herb pouch necklace.
It’s a long way, it’s a long way down - Am I just wasting my time?
Nothing here yet. Possibly mutation list area where needed.

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character related trigger warnings: mentions of abandonment, homophobia, emotional & manipulation, blackmail, cheating, pregnancy, abortion, murder, mental illness & suicide.

Played by:

cas (PM Player)


RestlessInferno    //   



Also Plays

Staff Log

Saved incentives/prizes:

11/26/20 Character application accepted. Incentives 0013 & 0014 approved and waiting to be redeemed. -SID
01/09/21 +20 signos for visual ref. -INKBONE