U
pon the mountains lay the last remnants of the previous winter harsh grip as small sage green sprites pushed through the final frosts of winter. Spring was upon the land, new life was arising from the darkness that had so completely held the region for a small eternity. As the spirit of spring warmed the land again, a special new life was birthed to the world.
A mother alone in this part of her story, laying upon her side in a plush long-grass meadow hidden by towering oaks trees, endured the agony of new life. It had been a long pregnancy for her and she’d been concern for weeks at the size of her future child. A warranted worry considering it would be her first. Though her previous grievances had been so prevalent not even hours before, now she was focused and ready for the next steps.
A few hours later the small body of the foal rested aside her, breathing shallow and eyes still as a frozen lake. The foal, was the most precious thing his mother had ever laid eyes upon. He was… smaller than expected. A fact that in the end didn’t bring much joy to the now recovering mother. Either way, she reached out to nuzzle him, encouraging him to stand. She examined closer him as she did and to her surprise something was different about him, he wasn’t exactly just a him.
She thought back to her great-grand damn and her granddam ‘s stories they had told her. Of her ancestors and now his, of the equines they once were. Travelers and vagabonds the whole lot of them. Only instead of raiding and pillaging as the Vikings once did, they were healers of the most unique kind, they were lights. Most importantly they were all like him.
As the foal stood shakily at first then surer of his footing, his tiny wings unraveled and dropped to his side. His mother laughed lightly as the colt to his first steps upon their home, his eyes now awakening and adjusting to the world around him. It was then the mother, Diana, left out a shrill and loud nicker to the surrounding areas, it echoed slightly off of the thick tree trunks. It startled the little foal when the noise was released, and again when the much larger brute of a stallion came thundering between the trees.
The colt startled slightly, looked upon the being, and went back to his walking attempts. The stallion, Apenimon, was the foals father. He went to Diana and nuzzled her gently as the pair watched the small baby waddle around growing ever-surer of his feet and body. “He’s like the old ones,” said Diana. Apenimon smiled in disbelief, “Who knew that the old blood was still here with us, what shall we name him?”
The foal now able to take more steps without dropping like a ragweed seed, then turned his attention towards his parents. As he neared them a patch of light shone down through the trees and illuminated his still damp coat. A colorful spectacle, a kaleidoscope of purples, blues, and pinks shown off the colts copper body areas. Apenimon spoke, “his name is Liseli, the light.”
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A
s the colt grew in to a yearling he grew taller, brighter, and even had the two nubs of horns upon his head like his father when he was that age. Apenimon would never say it out loud but he was glad some of his blood had contributed to the colts appearance the same way his mother’s did with her old blood. Once scraggly little legs gained muscle and allowed the colt to even begin to test his wrings a bit. No flight at this stage but Liseli loved to spread them as he ran about in a dizzy of childhood excitability. This often worried Diana considering little Liseli refused to stay close to her.
When the colt became yearling and the spring came once again, he could finally speak as his elders did. It was at this time Apenimon decided it was time for the colt to take part in the herds daily rituals and stories. Liseli can still remember this early time in his life when he’d stand with the stallions or mares and listen to the tales passed down through the generations. On one particular night, a story of the ancestors peaked his attention.
“Dad, why do we not move as the old ones did?” Liseli asked innocently enough. “Because we do not have the same power as they once did, son. But you are too young for all that now.” Little Liseli didn’t get much satisfaction from this and the question remained with him for the next months.
Though he was still curious about the question, it was instinct that started to put two things together. Now that he and the other few children of the herd were older, they started to talk. It was out of innocent arrogance but the colts he’d once wrestled with and raced as a babe now began to make snide comments about him. The fillies he used to enjoy the company of, were still tolerant of him but thought it odd he’d rather spend time with them.
Rather than returning to his father to speak of his woes, he went to his mother instead. “Mom, what is the problem. I hear the stories, I hear the things the others say about me to me and to Dad. None of these things make sense.” Diana sighed and gestured for him to come closer to her, something she was now glad she could communicate to the yearling instead of just chasing him down. “Oh Liseli, do not take these words as they are. Your friend’s don’t understand things they way you seem to.” She tried to assure him. “What do you mean?” Liseli asked seriously. “If i understood I wouldn’t be asking you in the first place!” He snarked.
As the paired walked alone in the night away from the distant glow of the night fire Diana gazed at the sky, then to her son. “Well to begin, in case you haven’t noticed you aren’t just a colt…” Liseli knew that but didn’t understand what the big deal was. Diana continued, “You are between stallion and mare, the others treat you the way they do because it means that you are the one. The one with the old blood, all of our ancestors used to be like you. It is the condition of a healer. Our ancestors used to have powerful magick and would travel around the globe to get to those who needed them. For centuries their only home was in the company of their herds.”
“So I’m special and that’s why they don’t like me anymore…”
“Liseli understand there is nothing wrong with you. Our herds used to be healers, it was how we lived.”
“So where are the rest of us, if we were as great as you say?”
“Liseli the stories, the way that we’d heal….” She stammered slightly before finishing, “Liseli when herbs and incantations weren’t enough, many had the ability to take on the pain of another as their own. Serious conditions, many could recover through their own health, but others would perish for another carrying the burden for another.” The news shook Liseli and stopped him in his tracks. The moon shining above was the only thing he could look to to avoid his mother seeing his discomfort in the news. Was this his design?
Diana nuzzled the yearling and brought him back to reality, knowing somehow how Liseli would take it. “It could be your ability but it doesn’t have to be your destiny dear.”
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O
ver the next year Liseli backed out of the herds general activities. He would often sit alone upon a ridge overlooking the main grassland of his home. He would watch as they all went about their daily businesses and social dealings, how they aged and lived. Occasionally he’d observe the large birds flying above or the ants on their hill near his spot of reflection.
Over time, Liseli came to understand the way the world functioned together, at least the kindling of the bond fire that was the world. The bird would fly above, dive and kill a rabbit, feed, have eggs and rear chicks. It was the sacrifice of the rabbit that allowed the function of the bird. The ants too, eating whatever was left and growing more abundant on the all of one one for all policy. The key to all of this was in the rabbit. Thoughts like this occupied him until it became nearly all he thought of.
He started then to experiment with different herbs and stones, chants and songs upon his ridge. Sometimes things would work, sometimes they wouldn’t do much. He would try to balance his working with the things he’d observed from the world around him. This was the beginning of his magic, though he’d not known it’d be called that until much late in his life.
At the start of his second spring Liseli felt a change in his bones. A call, a quiet whisper in the wind like that from one of a far away lover. It tickled his heels and broke his heart. It was then he’d decided he needed to see more and know everything. It was time to leave and go alone.
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I
t was a heated day in summer when Liseli set forth, leaving his parents wasn’t easy for him and though he’d spent much of his time alone he’d loved them the most. His mother weaned tears of joy as he turned to leave, she knew that he was doing as her family had done for eons before she even walked the earth. His father stood strong and offered a kind word to Liseli and comfort to his mother. Liseli didn’t know if he’d ever return.
It was two seasons later, in the dead of winter, when Liseli seemed to finally take a moments rest. He’d constructed an above ground lean to out of thick branches and pine needles. Through his observations of the bear and raccoon the whole inside of the shelter was lined with his own feathers and furs he’d come across in his travels. This was for warmth and on this night as the winds blew fiercely, a lesson from the bear and raccoon he was very thankful for. As he lay and allowed his eyes to slowly drift in to sleep a crunch from the outside startled him.
The fire in the leeway of the shelter would keep any predators at bay, but this sounded… large. As Liseli shifted to stand, a figure, obscured by the snow falling approached his abode. Blinking rapidly and dripping his crown to get a better view he heard a voice through the wind. “Hello,” Liseli spoke through, trying to be loud but not intimidating. Then another but defiantly louder “Hi!” Echoed back through the snow.
As Liselis ears pricked forward and his body unconsciously braced as figure came closer to the fire. Another horse, from the scent a mare, of thin frame and a dark bay coat. She was coated with white flecks of powder all about her body and face. “Come in, what are doing out here are you insane?” Liseli spouted, the mare was freezing after all. The mare only seemed to giggle as she neared Liseli and under the shelter of the large lean-to. Awfully trusting, awfully odd… Liseli thought to himself, though he knew he wasn’t a danger.
Liseli sat upon the larger side of the hut closer to the tree ads the mane gleeful laid down to fit upon the other side, her breath shapely and disappearing with the wind. “What I’m just cold I don’t have rabies or anything, what’s your name?” The little mare spoke as if they known each other for ages. Liseli not aware that he’d been staring chuffed and struggled for a moment to find his words. “I.. uh.. I’m sorry I didn’t;t think you;d have rabies you’d be probably trying but me right now with foam and an odd twitch in the eye…” Liseli shook his head, “Sorry I’m Liseli.”
“I’m Niele.”
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I
t seemed like an eternity from that first night Liseli had met his new cling-on. At first he’d tried to loose her, she was a little more than he had bargained for conversation wise. Always asking him questions, disturbing the silence of his studies. This general annoyance slowly shifted in to something else. Niele’s positivity and curiosity matched his own even though she was much more exuberant about it and well, it grew on Liseli.
Once an annoying fungus he couldn’t seem to scrap off of his skin now became an everyday normal. As he’d sit and try to think she’d always come in to frame soon after and start on him. Before he knew it he stopped trying to study all together as he get sucked in to the conversation she’d planned out that day.
They talk often about the paths traveled and the time before they’d met. Liseli shared with her his stories, about how once he’d spent two week studying a family of raccoons. He’d watched them use their little hands to forage and what they’d eat, how the played with one another. Stories like these often turned in to him speaking of his ambitions, of his desire to know more about the supposed magick within himself. Niele seemed to understand, and she was intrigued by it as well.
As their friendship grew, they often spend some time gentle bumping in to one another. Causal small pranks and jokes sometimes evolved in to light rough-housing. Liseli hated to admit it but he was happy to have the company of someone who could actually speak to him, unlike the rest of his usual company of the woods. It always seemed happy between the two.
It was one day that something set the tone off. Niele was acting strangely and oddly reserved. Liseli at first didn’t pay much mind to it until he started to miss her constant yammering. They sat as they usually did, it was just so… quiet. Fearing he’d done something to upset the marker Liseli finally manned-up enough to pry.
“Why the silence today friend?” He asked gently in a half joking, half serious sort of way. Niele just sighed and looked away from the stallion before speaking shakily, “I.. I’m not sure. I think I’ve just got to come to terms with you.” Liseli’s head raised and tilted in confusion, he had done something to upset her. The stallion had never really experienced this type of immediate guilt before, a weight dragging his chest down to the darkest depths of the sea.
“Niele I didn’t mean to upset you in some way but I think…” he tried to stammer. Niele snorted in a sighing type of way and cut his sentence short, “I’m not mad at you dumbass, I’m in love with you.”
The tension in the air seemed like forever, Liseli had never really thought of anything like that built looking back it all seemed to add up. In the moment, Liseli did think he loved her too. She was his best friend and the closest thing to family he’d known since he’d left his own. Was that love? He supposed it was, and even if it wasn’t: I can still make her happy.
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I
t wasn’t long before the dynamic between the two shifted to something more serious. A little clumsy at first, humorous nudges turned in to drawn out hugs, innocent chases turned in to something more heated, and general rough housing turned more… devious. Liseli didn’t exactly oppose but he as saw the light in Niele’s eye when she’d wake in the mornings and see him there next to her. She did love him and he was making her happy.
It was another day when Niele came to him once more with that similar huffy pace and silence he’d see once before. Liseli instead this time knew it was better he address it head-on instead of playing it off again. A partner was no longer allowed the same leniencies as a friend once was… so he asked “What’s wrong dear, awfully quiet today.”
Niele, never one to beat around the bush responded almost demandingly. “I want a child… and nothing’s happened...” Niele looked away sadly as if she could not bring herself to ever look him in the eye again. In the moment, Liseli hadn’t thought much about it but he’d known Niele was incredibly keen on having a child. She’d often say so even before they were together, she’d spoke of the life she had one day imagined for herself. A life for herself, turned in to ideas of the life she imagined for them.
Liseli remained silent for a moment processing the statement and feeling that little twinge of guilt once more in his chest. She was right, nothing had come of there attempts and it was a suspicious amount of time. Was it her? Was it him? Niele seemed to sense these thoughts as she turned and quickly snapped at him, anger now replacing the sadness in her eyes “ITS NOT ME!” Liseli stepped back from the mares angry face, he’d never seen her like this in such a rage.
As he looked upon the mare he knew somewhere within himself that she was right. It was him. Clearing his throat Liseli did nothing but turn away and go back down the hill to the area they built upon as their home. It was the same they spent that first night together in the winter all that time ago.
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I
t was from that night things between the two started to disintegrate. Liseli now really did find himself alone as he sat and watched the now familiar landscape. It wasn’t just silence it was being truly alone. Over the last few days, Niele couldn’t even bring herself to look at Liseli. Everything he’d grown to know about the mare had changed and shifted in to some creature that he could no longer recognize.
The lighthearted touches and shared glances now turned in to bites and spitting hate. Liseli told himself that she was different, but he knew in his heart that he was different now too. He couldn’t focus on his observations and he could no long sit without drifting to thoughts about himself and how much he hated himself. He often thought to himself that maybe this hate that he felt for himself really did mean that he loved Niele.
All of this internal conflict just mad Liseli try harder for the mare. He’d still bring her favorite marigolds when he could find them, but bring them home he just made himself feel small around her. Walking on eggshells was an understatement, every snap of a branch near their home seemed to echo throughout his known world. Niele did nothing but glare at the flowers and return to her rest.
Liseli would try to comfort the mare, but she’d lye all day. The once jubilant voice of his dear friend now when heard sounded like the deep roaring of an angry tiger. Niele did not care for him anymore and Liseli was running quickly out of ideas. He’d promised himself that he’d make the mare happy, so that’s what he’d try to do.
“I’m going out… I’ll be back tonight love.” Liseli said to Niele looking over his shoulder as he filled the small sack around his neck with a few items. Liseli did not want to leave her, but he’d had an idea from the night before and now he felt it was her only hope. Niele said nothing, didn’t move, just remained as she had been for days. Liseli looked out in to the night and started off.
It was his idea that he could save the mare. From the stories his mother had told him, it could be possible to take on Niele’s suffering. He could heal her, he just have to find his supplies. Stones of shimmer, flowers of the day, eyes of the grasses, the list was fairly extensive but he travel quickly trying to get back to Niele. There was a strange sense of urgency in the air but Liseli couldn’t quite place it.
As the day drew to a close Liseli returned to the dwelling, he sniffed the air and sat his satchel down a bit excited to begin. Some of his things were in disarray but he was too enthralled to notice. It was then he realized that the vacant air of the dwelling was sour and dark, Niele was no where to be found. “Niele! Love!” He called out slightly out of breath from his travels and excitement. His eyes darted rapidly around as he turned to exit the main living area the two had called home. It was the sour stench in his nares that moved him away in to the night. It smelled oddly familiar.
“Niele I can fix this I can fix us! Just let me try… I can tr…” his voiced trailed off in to a deathly silence. The moonlight shinning down from the heavens illuminated just enough of the silhouette lying motionless in the small field of grass he and Niele often foraged. Liseli approached the body quickly, sniffing and staring in to the quiet face now before him.
It was Niele and she was gone, her body and eyes bleak and vacant. NO, NO, NO I CANT FIX THIS.
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L
iseli sat away from the tomb he had constructed for Niele, it held all of the things that she’d once light up over. Marigolds the orange ones of course, the antler trinkets she’d used to toss, the ribbon like leather Liseli had gotten her by chance one day as the played in the woods. Nothing about this made sense to Liseli, he was so alone again that he’d never known this type of sadness was ever even a part of this world.
He didn’t have much left to say, at least out loud because he knew again that no one was listening. Perhaps he should have said his goodbyes aloud, but he could not bring himself to get much more out except “I’m sorry, you deserved all the good things. Perhaps you will find them and I hope you do.”
Liseli got up and returned to his former home, everything in it now seemed empty despite the stacks of herb collections and papers, the blankets and twigs. He couldn’t stay here any longer, it was time to go on.
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W
eeks passed and Liseli walked on without food and without any type of reasonable rest. Though his exhaustion took a toll on his body, it could not seem to quell his turbulent mind. He’d walk sometimes with tears flowing down his face silently as he traveled with on one direction. There was no magick, there was no luck, perhaps this is how Niele felt and he had taken on her pain. The pain of the death of the soul.
It was in this time Liseli met a passerby. A unkempt, short stallion of not much substance. His black coat shown against the noticeable mosaic of scars that littered his back and legs. Perhaps he was once a kind but no more. Tough his appearance made Liseli curious it was his voice that really pulled him in.
“Greetings wandered, are you going to the land of Novus? If so it right that way a few hours time.” His raspy voice sounded like that of a joyous old grand sire playing a joke on someone. Liseli looked beyond the old-timer towards the path he’d come before resting his gaze again upon the elderly stallion. “Novus? And what happened to you are you alright?”
The black stallion responded with a little laugh, “Oh yes young one I’m fine… just not fit for a life back there again I’ll tell ya. And Novus yeah the land of kingdoms, horses, civilization and not so civilized, treat, magic, love, wonder…” Liselis ears pricked forward as he stopped the ramblings of the stallion. “Magic, land of magic?”
“Aye, plenty there then just no place for me anymore.”
Liseli couldn’t believe his ears, his heart fluttered and his internal fire sense the kindling it was getting nearer to. He nodded assuredly to the old man and said, “That is what I’m after. If you continue my path you’ll find an area to rest perhaps a new home for yourself stranger. Thank you.”
The elder nodded to him, “Thanks son be your way now, good travels.” And so Liseli went forth.