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+---- Thread: [P] Forgive my Transgressions (/showthread.php?tid=6550)
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Forgive my Transgressions - Sol Bestiam - 09-02-2021
This flaming guardian could be your worst nightmare...
Time never seemed to be on his side. The stallion snorted as he looked at the dawning light and then back to the filly that he adored with his whole heart. Nudging her gently, he woke his daughter and had her get atop his back. Soon enough, she would be too large for that, but for now it was the easiest way to travel long distances. Stepping out of his house, he stretched his multiple wings and felt the muscles as they splayed under his rich pelt. The sky seemed to call to the stallion, the radiation from the sun dancing in his veins.
It was harder to lift into the sky with the added weight on his back, but he found that he cherished the knowledge that he had her safe with him. Without thought, his wings angled so that he was soaring towards the Dusk court. Toward his dearest friend.
The stallion was not ready to brave the swamp again, landing instead in the fields and hoping that she would be there. He tucked his wings with methodical precision, revealing the foal that had fallen back to sleep on his broad back. Moving as fluidly as he could, he paced around the fields. His golden eyes were seeking the familiar form, his heart dropping as he didn’t see her.
"I am sorry Bel… I didn’t mean to hurt you." He murmured, hoping in his heart that she wasn’t truly wounded and merely just angry. It would be work to try to find her and he had no idea where to start.
@‘Below Zero’
Notes: ---
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Below Zero - 09-02-2021
B e l o w Z e r o
kiss me goodbye, i'm defying gravity
i think i'll try defying gravity
and you won't bring me down
The mare smiled as she walked with Yuki, practicing her magic as her bonded had instructed.
Her lessons had changed now that she was such a high level, such a strong grasp of it, no longer about the actions, and now about feeling the water, the magic, how it all intertwined. It was a less stressful practice of magic, it broadened her understand of it, shaped her knowledge of it, made her stronger with it, and she enjoyed that. Your brutish friend has finally come snivelling back. The words startled Bel and she turned in the direction Yuki was pointing with a frown, soon seeing the mammoth beast. The best friend that had cast her away, shoved her to the side. That anger was suddenly burning in the surface, cold and livid beneath her skin. Careful, he has a precious treasure with him. The mare paused, glancing at her bonded in confusion, but no elaboration was given. So Bel began to storm towards him.
She didn't greet him. She didn't smile, or embrace him, or anything. As she moved closer, the vapors upon her back turned freezing, frost began to creep up her limbs, covered the ground she walked, and as she stormed closer, that ice shifted, it moved, it grew, until large, angry shards slammed up, jagged crisps of ice that angled towards the stallion, carefully kept from truly hurting him, but left inches away from his throat. Her tone was cold as she stared him down. "Oh, I see you've decided you're safe to visit again. Did you come here to beg at my feet for forgiveness. To beg that I forgive my so called best friend for shoving me aside, for abandoning me, for then ignoring me for weeks! How dare you! How dare you!!! You abandoned me, Sol! You abandoned me!!!" The ice was melting, turning to water that seemed to swirl up in a chaotic swirl, circling around the increasingly distraught mare, hoovering, ready for her use.
"You know exactly . . . EXACTLY what I went through with my pod. And you did it to me too! You choose what was best for me. You made those choices, ignored my arguments, refused to listen to me. Only this time, it wasn't abandoning my sister on the ice . . . you walked away from me." She swallowed hard, her expression betraying just how hurt she was, she had been, she still is. The water came crashing down, drenching the mare and her bonded as it did so, splashing silently to the fields. "You're no better than Shard." He'd turned away from her too.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes:: So, uh, I figured out why she's so upset.
Her lessons had changed now that she was such a high level, such a strong grasp of it, no longer about the actions, and now about feeling the water, the magic, how it all intertwined. It was a less stressful practice of magic, it broadened her understand of it, shaped her knowledge of it, made her stronger with it, and she enjoyed that. Your brutish friend has finally come snivelling back. The words startled Bel and she turned in the direction Yuki was pointing with a frown, soon seeing the mammoth beast. The best friend that had cast her away, shoved her to the side. That anger was suddenly burning in the surface, cold and livid beneath her skin. Careful, he has a precious treasure with him. The mare paused, glancing at her bonded in confusion, but no elaboration was given. So Bel began to storm towards him.
She didn't greet him. She didn't smile, or embrace him, or anything. As she moved closer, the vapors upon her back turned freezing, frost began to creep up her limbs, covered the ground she walked, and as she stormed closer, that ice shifted, it moved, it grew, until large, angry shards slammed up, jagged crisps of ice that angled towards the stallion, carefully kept from truly hurting him, but left inches away from his throat. Her tone was cold as she stared him down. "Oh, I see you've decided you're safe to visit again. Did you come here to beg at my feet for forgiveness. To beg that I forgive my so called best friend for shoving me aside, for abandoning me, for then ignoring me for weeks! How dare you! How dare you!!! You abandoned me, Sol! You abandoned me!!!" The ice was melting, turning to water that seemed to swirl up in a chaotic swirl, circling around the increasingly distraught mare, hoovering, ready for her use.
"You know exactly . . . EXACTLY what I went through with my pod. And you did it to me too! You choose what was best for me. You made those choices, ignored my arguments, refused to listen to me. Only this time, it wasn't abandoning my sister on the ice . . . you walked away from me." She swallowed hard, her expression betraying just how hurt she was, she had been, she still is. The water came crashing down, drenching the mare and her bonded as it did so, splashing silently to the fields. "You're no better than Shard." He'd turned away from her too.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes:: So, uh, I figured out why she's so upset.
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Sol Bestiam - 09-02-2021
This flaming guardian could be your worst nightmare...
The reaction from his dearest friend was a blow in more ways than one. She used her magic on him. That knowledge alone broke his need to retaliate. But her words nearly sent him to his knees. She compared him to Shard. To the bull that had nearly broken her. That had forced her to leave her sister alone on the ice. Rage and pain surged through the stallion as he forced himself to stand strong and not react. His wings flared and sheltered his daughter, protecting her from whatever Bel would through at him. Was this truly his friend? Had he seriously lost her? The pain of that thought nearly overwhelmed his cold facade.
"Unlike you, I was ill. The magic touching me poisoned me! You abandoned me just as much as you claim I abandoned you. And I was never like that creature that you still hold on a pedestal. You may not cherish him like you did once, but he is still there. He still colors your every reaction. I wanted to make sure I didn’t fucking kill you when the magic overloaded. I didn’t make you leave a part of your heart behind. I would NEVER do that to you." The stallion seethed, feeling the magic drawing in radiation and causing him to glow. Causing his eyes to glow.
"I did NOT chose what was best for you. I would have been done with this world if I had harmed you in any way. I would have been done. Instead, I laid in my home nearly dying and alone because you were mad that I wanted to not hurt you." His voice was rough with emotions, pain and fury dancing with the sorrow that he had felt. There was a part of him that had been sure that she wanted nothing more to do with him… and maybe he was correct.
The splash of her water hitting the earth caused his hooves to sizzle and the flames that had been steadily growing around him to fade into smoke. The stallion, drowning in his emotional turmoil, took a step back. A small sound behind his head caused him to risk the glance at the terrified foal that was hiding in his mane. "I will keep you safe, Jiri." He murmured softly to the filly, touching her cheek gently before whipping his head back to face the mare before him. The mare and her serpent. There was a part of him that wondered if the creature was the reason that Bel was so mad, if it had been pushing her anger and hurt to get her away from him.
Sol’s cold mask slipped back into place as he watched Bel, pain still visible in his glowing eyes. "Perhaps my mistake was coming back… Was trying to find you and make amends for trying not to kill you." He said coolly, head held high as he gazed at her. As his heart felt like it was shattering.
@‘Below Zero’
Notes: Yeah… he is pissed
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Below Zero - 09-02-2021
B e l o w Z e r o
kiss me goodbye, i'm defying gravity
i think i'll try defying gravity
and you won't bring me down
She was angry, she couldn't help it. Not when he'd sent her away, left her behind, gone else where, gone with out her. When she had begged him not. She had begged . . . And suddenly the stallion before her was flaring back. She hesitated, felt herself brace for the anger she knew was coming. His words where like a kick to the gut, her muzzle dropping open, but she didn't have a moment to react to that before he suddenly flared up, and she froze, feeling his words slice through her like ice, her breath left her with a stuttered gasp.
"HE WAS MY MATE!" The words tore through her before she could stop them, ripping open the bandages holding the heart Shard had shattered "So forgive me for struggling to let him go!" She snapped back, almost shaking, "How could he not color my every reaction, my every move! I grew up with him. We were courting for almost three years! We were in the process of being bonded through my people's magic! You don't get over severing that bond! He didn't just leave my sister on the ice! He turned his back on me!" Her muzzle suddenly snapped shut, and she turned her away, trying to control the torrent of emotions.
"When I left the pod, he chased after me, only decide I wasn't worth closing the distance, I wasn't more important than the council calling for his return. I wasn't as important as the pod and the council. The triton had to return, and he cut our bond when he did." Her gaze turned towards him again, distraught as both cyan eyes locked onto him. "And then it was like that again. I begged you to listen, to let me stay. And you sent me away." Her gaze betrayed the turmoil that had caused the the anger, the agitation, the fear he'd never return again. "You sent me on the way, so you could go study in the library . . . . and then . . . you never came back!"
This time she didn't bother controlling herself, letting the tears fall from her eyes, freezing into snowflakes as they fell from her cheeks, "I waited . . . every day that next week, terrified to leave Dusk Court, praying you'd come, you'd apologize, tell me it won't happen again, and you didn't come. You were gone, and it was like I was being left for some higher calling again. Just like Shard with the Coucil, you had turned away from me too . . . and I was going to be alone again."
She had started to shake, her knees feel weak, "I didn't know what was going on, I sure as hell didn't know that you were ill. But it was the fact you were refusing to listen to my side, to hear me out, to let me prove what I already knew - you weren't a threat. Instead, you became a phantom for so . . . so long." The small sound jolted her head up and she stumbled back to see the foal atop his back, her eyes going wide, before she stumbled back, suddenly realizing just what Yuki's warning had meant, when she'd warned her to be careful. He whipped his face back towards her, and she flinched back, suddenly feeling guilt on top of it all. Her muzzle opened, trying to find words to say before his face shifted.
She had never seen such a cold mask from him, and as he spoke, his head held high, she felt her breath catch in fear. This was it, this was really it. He was going to leave her. She wasn't going to have her best friend anymore. "Please . . . ." The plea was soft, broken as she stared up at him, her expression suddenly frightened more than it had ever been in his presence, "Please don't . . . don't leave me . . ." Her gaze fell, staring down at her cloven hooves, feeling her finned ears flick back, brushing against the ram horns, She couldn't meet his gaze again, "Please . . . don't abandon me, not you too. Please, not you too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, please, please don't do it. Please don't leave me to make my way through Novus without you." She could feel yuki's reassuring touch, but she didn't lift her gaze from her hooves, she couldn't. She was afraid, afraid to see that look, that same apologetic look Shard had given her, when they realized he wouldn't cross the chasm to her, and she wouldn't go back with him. "I don't want to lose you too. Please . . . . stay."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes:: T.T I'm sorry T.T
"HE WAS MY MATE!" The words tore through her before she could stop them, ripping open the bandages holding the heart Shard had shattered "So forgive me for struggling to let him go!" She snapped back, almost shaking, "How could he not color my every reaction, my every move! I grew up with him. We were courting for almost three years! We were in the process of being bonded through my people's magic! You don't get over severing that bond! He didn't just leave my sister on the ice! He turned his back on me!" Her muzzle suddenly snapped shut, and she turned her away, trying to control the torrent of emotions.
"When I left the pod, he chased after me, only decide I wasn't worth closing the distance, I wasn't more important than the council calling for his return. I wasn't as important as the pod and the council. The triton had to return, and he cut our bond when he did." Her gaze turned towards him again, distraught as both cyan eyes locked onto him. "And then it was like that again. I begged you to listen, to let me stay. And you sent me away." Her gaze betrayed the turmoil that had caused the the anger, the agitation, the fear he'd never return again. "You sent me on the way, so you could go study in the library . . . . and then . . . you never came back!"
This time she didn't bother controlling herself, letting the tears fall from her eyes, freezing into snowflakes as they fell from her cheeks, "I waited . . . every day that next week, terrified to leave Dusk Court, praying you'd come, you'd apologize, tell me it won't happen again, and you didn't come. You were gone, and it was like I was being left for some higher calling again. Just like Shard with the Coucil, you had turned away from me too . . . and I was going to be alone again."
She had started to shake, her knees feel weak, "I didn't know what was going on, I sure as hell didn't know that you were ill. But it was the fact you were refusing to listen to my side, to hear me out, to let me prove what I already knew - you weren't a threat. Instead, you became a phantom for so . . . so long." The small sound jolted her head up and she stumbled back to see the foal atop his back, her eyes going wide, before she stumbled back, suddenly realizing just what Yuki's warning had meant, when she'd warned her to be careful. He whipped his face back towards her, and she flinched back, suddenly feeling guilt on top of it all. Her muzzle opened, trying to find words to say before his face shifted.
She had never seen such a cold mask from him, and as he spoke, his head held high, she felt her breath catch in fear. This was it, this was really it. He was going to leave her. She wasn't going to have her best friend anymore. "Please . . . ." The plea was soft, broken as she stared up at him, her expression suddenly frightened more than it had ever been in his presence, "Please don't . . . don't leave me . . ." Her gaze fell, staring down at her cloven hooves, feeling her finned ears flick back, brushing against the ram horns, She couldn't meet his gaze again, "Please . . . don't abandon me, not you too. Please, not you too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, please, please don't do it. Please don't leave me to make my way through Novus without you." She could feel yuki's reassuring touch, but she didn't lift her gaze from her hooves, she couldn't. She was afraid, afraid to see that look, that same apologetic look Shard had given her, when they realized he wouldn't cross the chasm to her, and she wouldn't go back with him. "I don't want to lose you too. Please . . . . stay."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes:: T.T I'm sorry T.T
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Sol Bestiam - 09-02-2021
This flaming guardian could be your worst nightmare...
He could see the pain from his words and wanted nothing more than to take them back. To try again. To never see her in such pain again. It was torture in a way that he didn’t even realize. In that moment, he realized that he still loved her in a way stronger than mere friendship. In a way that would forever be torture for the stallion.
"And I wanted you to be mine!" He reacted without thought, giving voice to the very pain that he was struggling with. He took a moment to cool his emotions as he listened to her speak. "I get it! I screwed up and I am not him. I wont ever be that stallion that you want in your heart. That is my eternal torture." When she turned away, his heart shattered fully. Tears welled in his eyes and he had to take a moment to be able to control the pain that was a torrent in his heart.
"I was scared. I felt like I was dying and had lost my best friend. My world shattered in that time. I made a mistake in trying to protect you. I get it. I never went to the damn library. I went home and laid on the floor feeling the the world was tearing me apart. By the time I felt mortal again, I figured the damage had been done and you didn’t want me." He took a cautious step forward, afraid that she would just push him further from her.
Her tears were knives to his heart as he fought to find words again. "Bel. I wished you were there every moment." Hell, he had called out her name in the midst of his fevers and pain. She was the one being that he had wanted at his side. More than even Oriens. Bel. She was his true north, the direction that he found himself traveling in every way. "If I thought you would believe a word that came out of my mouth, I would vow to never leave or push you away again. I choose you. I would leave my court for you." His words were a bare whisper as he stared at her. The pain in his heart was swamping him, a depth of emotions that he had never seen before.
Her shock was a moment of pause. A moment of silence. He was terrified of how the mare would react to Jiri. Hell, it would probably make her more mad at him. Not that she needed another reason. He had royally fucked up. Then came the pain. The words that had him moving forward without thought. "Bel… Please… I wont ever abandon you. I might screw up and piss you off, but you will always be my home. My true north. The choice I make every day. You are the dearest part of my world and I am so so sorry for hurting you." The stallion braved the ice serpent’s wrath and pressed his muzzle to her neck. He crossed the distance and her touch was cool against his heated flesh.
@‘Below Zero’
Notes: Oh my heart
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Below Zero - 09-02-2021
B e l o w Z e r o
kiss me goodbye, i'm defying gravity
i think i'll try defying gravity
and you won't bring me down
The emotions were high, she could feel it, sense it, like a powerful whirlwind threatening to take her under, drown her in a current she couldn't overcome. His shout had her startle, freeze, surprise. Sure, she'd wondered on occasion, but he'd never really said anything, made any sort of move, and she'd written it off, but this time, it was right there, in her face, and she felt herself freeze, she felt her heart patter against her chest, but it was past tensed . . . Wanted, not want. Wanted.
He didn't stop the onslaught, and she flinched, looking away from him, unsure of how to respond, what to say. It was never about him being Shard or not being Shard. You can't compare the moon to the sun . . . You can't compare night to day. She wanted to reach out to him, wanted to touch him. His words continued to flay the wounds he'd laid into her soul, and her gaze lowered slightly, her ears falling flat, finned edges brushing against the sealed edge of her gills. "You're an idiot!" The shout left her before she could stop herself, and she flinched, suddenly swallowing around the lump growing in her throat, "Why, why would I ever compare who you are to who he was." She asked quieter, softer this time, "How do you compare two beings who are on completely different levels . . ." She looked up at him, suddenly vulnerable, afraid. "Shard . . . he couldn't compare to you . . . even on his best day."
Those words of her sister suddenly came back. Yuki's comments of her mate. Her sister's comments of her stallion, and she shushed those thoughts away. She was denying it for so long, what was wrong with denying it further, to keep pushing it back, to keep going the other way, trying to find another route, another avenue, another way to think, to see this. He spoke again, and it offered her the distraction she wanted, and when he took a step forward, she felt her heart start to pick up again, the space suddenly feeling too far between them.
"Don't . . . don't say that, Sol . . . no . . . I'd . . . I'd never ask that of you, I'd never want that of you." But his words had awoken something deeper down, him saying the words, offering the choices that Shard wouldn't give her, and suddenly it felt too real, too much, too. . . he was there, his touch, warm against her skin, and she didn't hesitate, returning the embrace, eyes squeezed shut as she felt the familiar heat against her skin, the slight sizzle when the water vapors met his higher than normal temperature. "You mean it?" Her voice was quiet, hesitant, as she turned her head, looking up at him, "You . . . meant what you said." She couldn't get the words out, to admit it out loud, that what he'd said was real.
But a smile, a scared but pleased smile was stretching on her muzzle. "I . . . this is . . . this is a lot to take in. . . " A lot she had ignored, had written off, had assumed was nothing. Silently she could hear Yuki smirking, could almost sense the 'I told you so' that would come later. "I'm sorry too . . . I should have . . . I should have realized . . . known that there would be more to the reason."
She finally pulled back, backing a few steps away, so she could walk around his side, expertly weaving her way through his wings, her fins flattening to allow his wings to rest over her spine as she peered at his back, "Uhm . . . Sol . . . Where, and why; did you steal a pup?" She finally asked, tearing her gaze away from the filly to stare at her . . . at . . . at Sol, letting the distraction, the change of topic happen, so she could have a little more time to adjust to what he said . . . Because somewhere along the way, so distracted by the moon's shine . . . she had overlooked the fact it had been borrowing that light from her sun.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes::
He didn't stop the onslaught, and she flinched, looking away from him, unsure of how to respond, what to say. It was never about him being Shard or not being Shard. You can't compare the moon to the sun . . . You can't compare night to day. She wanted to reach out to him, wanted to touch him. His words continued to flay the wounds he'd laid into her soul, and her gaze lowered slightly, her ears falling flat, finned edges brushing against the sealed edge of her gills. "You're an idiot!" The shout left her before she could stop herself, and she flinched, suddenly swallowing around the lump growing in her throat, "Why, why would I ever compare who you are to who he was." She asked quieter, softer this time, "How do you compare two beings who are on completely different levels . . ." She looked up at him, suddenly vulnerable, afraid. "Shard . . . he couldn't compare to you . . . even on his best day."
Those words of her sister suddenly came back. Yuki's comments of her mate. Her sister's comments of her stallion, and she shushed those thoughts away. She was denying it for so long, what was wrong with denying it further, to keep pushing it back, to keep going the other way, trying to find another route, another avenue, another way to think, to see this. He spoke again, and it offered her the distraction she wanted, and when he took a step forward, she felt her heart start to pick up again, the space suddenly feeling too far between them.
"Don't . . . don't say that, Sol . . . no . . . I'd . . . I'd never ask that of you, I'd never want that of you." But his words had awoken something deeper down, him saying the words, offering the choices that Shard wouldn't give her, and suddenly it felt too real, too much, too. . . he was there, his touch, warm against her skin, and she didn't hesitate, returning the embrace, eyes squeezed shut as she felt the familiar heat against her skin, the slight sizzle when the water vapors met his higher than normal temperature. "You mean it?" Her voice was quiet, hesitant, as she turned her head, looking up at him, "You . . . meant what you said." She couldn't get the words out, to admit it out loud, that what he'd said was real.
But a smile, a scared but pleased smile was stretching on her muzzle. "I . . . this is . . . this is a lot to take in. . . " A lot she had ignored, had written off, had assumed was nothing. Silently she could hear Yuki smirking, could almost sense the 'I told you so' that would come later. "I'm sorry too . . . I should have . . . I should have realized . . . known that there would be more to the reason."
She finally pulled back, backing a few steps away, so she could walk around his side, expertly weaving her way through his wings, her fins flattening to allow his wings to rest over her spine as she peered at his back, "Uhm . . . Sol . . . Where, and why; did you steal a pup?" She finally asked, tearing her gaze away from the filly to stare at her . . . at . . . at Sol, letting the distraction, the change of topic happen, so she could have a little more time to adjust to what he said . . . Because somewhere along the way, so distracted by the moon's shine . . . she had overlooked the fact it had been borrowing that light from her sun.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes::
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Sol Bestiam - 09-03-2021
This flaming guardian could be your worst nightmare...
She froze. He admitted it finally and she froze. What could that mean? Did she loathe that he had said it? Was she trying to figure out how to reject him? A crippling fear swamped the stallion and he had to pause and close his eyes to regain composure. Then she finally spoke… or rather snapped.
"Shard has been the ghost on your shoulder since day one. I have always felt that I can’t stand up to his memories, to the trauma of what he did to you." He murmured, feeling like a sail that had lost the wind. The massive stallion felt deflated. Her vulnerable eyes tore at his heart and he wanted nothing more than to crush her to his side and comfort her. But at the same time he was afraid that she would push him away.
Her words were hesitant and slot, but there was something there that felt like a whip to his heart. She didn’t want him to leave his court. Did she not want him at her side? Was this the start of her rejection? The thoughts alone were painful and he had to close his eyes as she continued. "I may mess up and do the wrong thing, but I would never lie to you. No matter what. Anything I say is completely true and I mean every word." He paused, reveling in the cool touch of her flesh against his. He was in it this deep… might as well finish throwing himself at her hooves. Oriens knew that he would probably pay for it later when she called him nothing more than her friend again. "I love you Bel. I have for a long time now…" He admitted.
"I am not mad at you… I am furious with myself and will probably kick myself later for doing this all wrong… but there is nothing to forgive from you. You had no way of knowing. I think I was more defensive than angry when I spoke…" He admitted as she pulled away, feeling the loss of her touch like a dying man in the desert without water.
Sol chuckled and tucked his wings before kneeling to allow the filly to get to the ground. She stared at her father, eyes wide and anxious. "You are safe. There is no one else in the world that I would trust as much as Bel." He murmured to the filly, causing her to relax and turn her gaze to the aquatic mare. "I didn’t steal her. I went to the peak and found her at the base of Oriens’s statue. Below Zero, this is Alfajiri." He introduced the pair as the filly took a few steps toward Bel.
"Hello." She greeted, though her voice was still a little shaky due to the unease from witnessing the mess between the adults. Sol grinned as she spoke, turning his gaze to Bel to see how she would react, what she would say.
@‘Below Zero’
Notes: Oh my heart
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Below Zero - 09-03-2021
B e l o w Z e r o
kiss me goodbye, i'm defying gravity
i think i'll try defying gravity
and you won't bring me down
Things were suddenly changing, changing faster than she had planned, faster than she was prepared for. Faster than she was expecting. It was like her world was being transformed, warped before her eyes. Up was down, the sea was land, and friendship was something else entirely. But deep in her heart, should she be surprise, hadn't this happened before. Hadn't she been thrown for a loop when Shard had expressed interest in Courtship, because they'd been friends previously, for too long, for so long. And, didn't that make it all the scarier. Just like Shard, a friend, a best friend was changing the rules of the game, and she found herself searching desperately for a rule book she didn't have.
A rule book she didn't need. But she wasn't ready for that thought yet. Wasn't ready to consider what may or may not be blooming in her own heart. She could barely keep track of what was happening here, now, with this, with him, and his words, his feelings. His words were a murmur, and it hurt her to think she might have been misled, that Shard was still getting in the way of her happiness even now. That his memory, his actions and inactions, their broken, incomplete bond and his betrayal could cause this proud stallion to look like a kicked puppy waiting to be shoved into a bag and thrown down the river. Sweet seastars . . . . What do you do in this situation.
But, what else do you do when the world is crumbling around you than try to find firm ground, and when it comes to it, Sol had been her firm ground for a long time now. "You're right." The words were soft, forlorn, almost disappointed (in herself at that). "I've been so focused on what he did, what he made me feel . . ." She admitted, turning her gaze up at him, uncertain, lost in a vortex, a whirl pool with out a life raft, and her fins not working.
Even now that fear of what Shard put her through was making her all the more afraid. How could she ever asking him to leave his court, his world, his god. Sol was as devote as anyone she'd ever seen, Oriens was his everything . . . how could she ask him to abandon him, abandon that? For her? "Why would you mean it, why would you offer me something like that . . . Why?" Why was she so important . . . oh. Oh. . . . Oh . . . OH! Her eyes were wide, her heart was hammering in her chest, "You . . . You . . . are you sure?" She blurted out, before she could stop herself.
Well, way to sound like a guppy in front of a shark, "I mean, why would you do that?! Why would you love me? I'm a mess, thoughts and feelings as tangled up as seaweed in a current. You could do so much better than me, so, so much better. You deserve the sun and stars . . . and I'm just a ripple in the ocean." She shook her head, looking up at the stallion that had come to mean so much for her, so much she couldn't even sort through all those thoughts, all those emotions. "Sol . . . Sol, this is just . . . just a lot. So, so much to take in, I can't even keep my thoughts straight . . . I, I honestly don't know what to say . . . I'm . . . feeling a little lost, out at sea, at the moment. I . . . can you give me some time? Please?" Time to think, time to work through it all, time to just think, focus, sort through her thoughts, emotions, feelings . . . .
"Just a little time, so I know where I stand in all of this, you . . . well, to be frank, Sol, you caught me off guard, and I'm a little bit of a mess over it all." And yet she couldn't not lean into his touch, she couldn't not sink into his embrace, his warmth, his solid strength. "You . . . you're not mad at me?" Her voice was quiet, soft, relieved, settling a part of the panic she still felt, even as she nuzzled him gently, reassuringly, "Don't . . . don't do that. We both did things wrong here, today and before on the mountain. If there's nothing for you to forgive of me, if I did nothing wrong - than neither did you . . ." She stated quietly, "But . . . but let's make a promise? From now on? We listen to each other, about everything. No more secrets, no more not telling each other everything, so we make mistakes like this again? I . . . . if . . . if we want to . . . . try . . . this . . . . we, we're going to need to actually know where lines are, and why they're there . . . Just . . . . just be patient . . . with me." She asked him quietly.
The foal, however, was a surprise, as he lowered to the ground, the little thing seeming so scared, and Bel felt her heart break for having caused it. The introduction and explanation came from the stallion, but she didn't have a moment to reply before the tiny thing was stepping towards her. A soft, shaky voice, young and so full of innocence her people were never granting their young. Slowly, the mare lowered herself down to the little one's height, her gaze soft, gentle, her voice low and peaceful, "Hello." She replied back, before startling as Yuki slid to the ground to look at the little filly, Yes, I told you . . . He has a precious treasure. The serpent sent to her bonded, as she sniffed the tiny filly, before chirping quietly, Precious treasures of any species should always be protected . . . . The bonded added, gently rubbing her cheek against the foal's in greeting, before her gaze turned towards Sol, staring him down a brief moment, and nodding once, Also . . . Told you so.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes::
A rule book she didn't need. But she wasn't ready for that thought yet. Wasn't ready to consider what may or may not be blooming in her own heart. She could barely keep track of what was happening here, now, with this, with him, and his words, his feelings. His words were a murmur, and it hurt her to think she might have been misled, that Shard was still getting in the way of her happiness even now. That his memory, his actions and inactions, their broken, incomplete bond and his betrayal could cause this proud stallion to look like a kicked puppy waiting to be shoved into a bag and thrown down the river. Sweet seastars . . . . What do you do in this situation.
But, what else do you do when the world is crumbling around you than try to find firm ground, and when it comes to it, Sol had been her firm ground for a long time now. "You're right." The words were soft, forlorn, almost disappointed (in herself at that). "I've been so focused on what he did, what he made me feel . . ." She admitted, turning her gaze up at him, uncertain, lost in a vortex, a whirl pool with out a life raft, and her fins not working.
Even now that fear of what Shard put her through was making her all the more afraid. How could she ever asking him to leave his court, his world, his god. Sol was as devote as anyone she'd ever seen, Oriens was his everything . . . how could she ask him to abandon him, abandon that? For her? "Why would you mean it, why would you offer me something like that . . . Why?" Why was she so important . . . oh. Oh. . . . Oh . . . OH! Her eyes were wide, her heart was hammering in her chest, "You . . . You . . . are you sure?" She blurted out, before she could stop herself.
Well, way to sound like a guppy in front of a shark, "I mean, why would you do that?! Why would you love me? I'm a mess, thoughts and feelings as tangled up as seaweed in a current. You could do so much better than me, so, so much better. You deserve the sun and stars . . . and I'm just a ripple in the ocean." She shook her head, looking up at the stallion that had come to mean so much for her, so much she couldn't even sort through all those thoughts, all those emotions. "Sol . . . Sol, this is just . . . just a lot. So, so much to take in, I can't even keep my thoughts straight . . . I, I honestly don't know what to say . . . I'm . . . feeling a little lost, out at sea, at the moment. I . . . can you give me some time? Please?" Time to think, time to work through it all, time to just think, focus, sort through her thoughts, emotions, feelings . . . .
"Just a little time, so I know where I stand in all of this, you . . . well, to be frank, Sol, you caught me off guard, and I'm a little bit of a mess over it all." And yet she couldn't not lean into his touch, she couldn't not sink into his embrace, his warmth, his solid strength. "You . . . you're not mad at me?" Her voice was quiet, soft, relieved, settling a part of the panic she still felt, even as she nuzzled him gently, reassuringly, "Don't . . . don't do that. We both did things wrong here, today and before on the mountain. If there's nothing for you to forgive of me, if I did nothing wrong - than neither did you . . ." She stated quietly, "But . . . but let's make a promise? From now on? We listen to each other, about everything. No more secrets, no more not telling each other everything, so we make mistakes like this again? I . . . . if . . . if we want to . . . . try . . . this . . . . we, we're going to need to actually know where lines are, and why they're there . . . Just . . . . just be patient . . . with me." She asked him quietly.
The foal, however, was a surprise, as he lowered to the ground, the little thing seeming so scared, and Bel felt her heart break for having caused it. The introduction and explanation came from the stallion, but she didn't have a moment to reply before the tiny thing was stepping towards her. A soft, shaky voice, young and so full of innocence her people were never granting their young. Slowly, the mare lowered herself down to the little one's height, her gaze soft, gentle, her voice low and peaceful, "Hello." She replied back, before startling as Yuki slid to the ground to look at the little filly, Yes, I told you . . . He has a precious treasure. The serpent sent to her bonded, as she sniffed the tiny filly, before chirping quietly, Precious treasures of any species should always be protected . . . . The bonded added, gently rubbing her cheek against the foal's in greeting, before her gaze turned towards Sol, staring him down a brief moment, and nodding once, Also . . . Told you so.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes::
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Sol Bestiam - 09-05-2021
This flaming guardian could be your worst nightmare...
Sol watched the smaller mare as she sorted through the chaos that was clearly in her mind. He wanted to erase everything, every hurtful word and expression. He felt terrible for everything at this point and felt like his heart was breaking. Then she began to speak. The uncertainty in her words and demeanor were heartbreaking, tearing him apart at the seams. "Bel..." He murmured, wishing he knew what to say to make everything all better. But he had admitted his feelings, probably the most forcefully and openly. And now he had to live with the consequences... even if his heart was telling him that it would turn out extremely badly.
"I would offer it because I would be thrilled to be closer to you. Because I would want nothing more than to be at your side all of the time should the opportunity arise. I cant erase how I feel, or take back what I said... I am sorry for overwhelming you and making you feel like you are in a whirlpool." He murmured, watching her carefully as he spoke softly. Maybe he could apologize away the pain and awkwardness that his words had caused. Maybe...
"I love you because you have been my rock. For two years, you have been the constant in my life, in my thoughts. You have been there, helped me through a lot of my own traumas. You have been the push to be better, the push to be more than the arrogant and asinine colt that I was before. You have been my hope, my sun... the reason I am better. You are the reason I move through my day, through my life on an arc that makes me a better stallion, someone that could have others be proud of." He admitted, not even thinking about his reasons for continuing to speak even though he was determined that she was going to reject him again. Heck, she had just said he was only her friend just a few months ago.
There was a haze in his mind as he tried to understand much of what Bel was saying. When she asked for time, his heart plummeted to his hooves. "Of course. Time. You can have all the time in the world... As long as you promise that my confession wont break us... I cant bear to lose you, to have my life go dark." He murmured, his heart dissolving further at the idea of losing his best friend.
"Anger disappears quickly where you are concerned. I dont think I could ever be fully mad at you." Her touch was a balm to his tattered heart as he allowed the comfort of her closeness to wash over him. "I promise... no more being hard headed when it comes to things you say." There was a part of him that wanted to protect the littler mare, though he was quickly realizing that she could easily take care of herself. The idea was a little odd, as there was a very protective streak that the stallion had for those he loved. His muzzle traced the curve of her shoulder gently and he breathed in the salty sea touched scent that he adored so much.
Jiri beamed as Bel dropped to her level. She hadnt met very many others yet, mostly because everyone was always so much older than she. "I'm Jiri... Daddy says that you are my aunt. Well... that is what he says to call you. I am very glad to meet you." She tossed her head and laughed softly as she danced around the aquatic mare.
@‘Below Zero’
Notes: Oh my heart
RE: Forgive my Transgressions - Below Zero - 09-05-2021
B e l o w Z e r o
kiss me goodbye, i'm defying gravity
i think i'll try defying gravity
and you won't bring me down
He loved her. He loved her. He loved her.
It was like those words repeated quietly through her head, accompanied by small snippets of their time together, comparing them to her time spent with the last stallion who had told her he loved her . . . But this was nothing like her time with Shard, the two were like night and day. Shard had been fleeting, a presence that faded before coming back to her on a cycle, waning away to duties, to the return to her just when she was ready to walk away . . . Sol was the constant, he was the light in her life that had her unburying herself from her own past, the sun that warmed her skin, made her feel alive again. But she was so often distracted by that moon . . .
His muzzle whispered her name.
It was a sound that clenched at her heart, had her looking up at him, swallowing hard at the look in his eyes, a look, an expression that stopped her heart, caught her breath. . . had Shard ever looked at her like that? She couldn't respond, didn't have the words to, and thankfully didn't need to as he spoke . . . only to find her entire body stilling. Shard always put her last. Excuse after excuse. His father needed to discuss migrating plans, he was needed out on the south side of the pod. He couldn't make it home last night, the council had him up for a meeting. Again, and again, and again.
One excuse, after another . . . but Sol . . .
There was none of that here. There was no excuse about going back. Just an offer to stay, to be close to her, to be at her side for all time. Her expression shifted, confused more so, "But why, why me?" She mumbled, tilting her head, ears flicking back, "Stop apologizing, you have as much right to share what you're feeling as anyone else. Isn't that what we've always strived to do - tell each other everything?" She asked softly. And then he had to make it worse.
Or better. Better and worse?
She didn't know, because he'd frozen her with shock again, even as he painted it all out. His . . . his sun? But . . . wasn't that . .. these the reasons she kept him around, she defended her best friend to others. Why she continued to hang out with him, missed him when he was gone . . . but, . . . love? Did that mean she . . . no, she was . . . but . . .No? Maybe? She didn't know! "Stop, stop, stop, please" She finally said, shaking her head, before sighing and pressing her cheek against his, sighing, "Okay, I hear you . . . But you need to slow down. This is a lot." Her eyes closed, both sets as the feel of his warmth against his skin set her nerves at ease once more.
She stepped forward without thought.
Her muzzle brushed his neck, as she pressed her chest to his, leaning into him and shaking her head faintly, finding a shelter against his side. "You're a lot to take in some time, you know that right?" She let her muzzle, her face, hide in his thick mane, "I don't know what exactly I feel, I really don't. All I do know, all I can say is you mean the world to me. Truly . . . What that may amount to in the time to come, I do not know . . . But don't you dare doubt for a moment that there's not a part of me that loves you too . . . Whether it's the love of friends . . . or more, I need to figure out for myself . . . but you will never stop being one of the most important individuals in my life." She assured him, pulling back to look up at him.
His reassurance to give her time helped.
"I would never let that happen, I mean it. My world is dark without you too." She admitted quietly, hooves kicking at the dirt between them, "I thought I lost you once, these past few months . . ." Her nerves steeled as she looked up at him. "I'm not letting that happen ever again." She couldn't let that happen ever again. His promise to listen to her though was a relief and she flashed him a dazzling smile, "Thank you." She murmured, before taking the steps back to eye the little filly. She was startled by the little one's words, but smiled nonetheless.
Aunt had an interesting ring to it.
"The pleasure is all mine, Jiri." She said with a laugh as the little filly ran around her. She smiled, using her tail to gently catch the filly and snuggle her mercilessly against her side, "I suppose you'll just have to call me Auntie Bel then, huh?" She asked, before motioning to her bonded, "And this is Yukime, but you can call her Yuki." She introduced, as the ice serpent nosed the little filly gently. Bel's eyes then rose, briefly looking up to Sol, a faint smile on her face, and a promise that they would pick this talk back up once she's sorted her own thoughts and feelings out before she returned her attention to the little filly she had been introduced to.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes:: <3 <3 <3
It was like those words repeated quietly through her head, accompanied by small snippets of their time together, comparing them to her time spent with the last stallion who had told her he loved her . . . But this was nothing like her time with Shard, the two were like night and day. Shard had been fleeting, a presence that faded before coming back to her on a cycle, waning away to duties, to the return to her just when she was ready to walk away . . . Sol was the constant, he was the light in her life that had her unburying herself from her own past, the sun that warmed her skin, made her feel alive again. But she was so often distracted by that moon . . .
His muzzle whispered her name.
It was a sound that clenched at her heart, had her looking up at him, swallowing hard at the look in his eyes, a look, an expression that stopped her heart, caught her breath. . . had Shard ever looked at her like that? She couldn't respond, didn't have the words to, and thankfully didn't need to as he spoke . . . only to find her entire body stilling. Shard always put her last. Excuse after excuse. His father needed to discuss migrating plans, he was needed out on the south side of the pod. He couldn't make it home last night, the council had him up for a meeting. Again, and again, and again.
One excuse, after another . . . but Sol . . .
There was none of that here. There was no excuse about going back. Just an offer to stay, to be close to her, to be at her side for all time. Her expression shifted, confused more so, "But why, why me?" She mumbled, tilting her head, ears flicking back, "Stop apologizing, you have as much right to share what you're feeling as anyone else. Isn't that what we've always strived to do - tell each other everything?" She asked softly. And then he had to make it worse.
Or better. Better and worse?
She didn't know, because he'd frozen her with shock again, even as he painted it all out. His . . . his sun? But . . . wasn't that . .. these the reasons she kept him around, she defended her best friend to others. Why she continued to hang out with him, missed him when he was gone . . . but, . . . love? Did that mean she . . . no, she was . . . but . . .No? Maybe? She didn't know! "Stop, stop, stop, please" She finally said, shaking her head, before sighing and pressing her cheek against his, sighing, "Okay, I hear you . . . But you need to slow down. This is a lot." Her eyes closed, both sets as the feel of his warmth against his skin set her nerves at ease once more.
She stepped forward without thought.
Her muzzle brushed his neck, as she pressed her chest to his, leaning into him and shaking her head faintly, finding a shelter against his side. "You're a lot to take in some time, you know that right?" She let her muzzle, her face, hide in his thick mane, "I don't know what exactly I feel, I really don't. All I do know, all I can say is you mean the world to me. Truly . . . What that may amount to in the time to come, I do not know . . . But don't you dare doubt for a moment that there's not a part of me that loves you too . . . Whether it's the love of friends . . . or more, I need to figure out for myself . . . but you will never stop being one of the most important individuals in my life." She assured him, pulling back to look up at him.
His reassurance to give her time helped.
"I would never let that happen, I mean it. My world is dark without you too." She admitted quietly, hooves kicking at the dirt between them, "I thought I lost you once, these past few months . . ." Her nerves steeled as she looked up at him. "I'm not letting that happen ever again." She couldn't let that happen ever again. His promise to listen to her though was a relief and she flashed him a dazzling smile, "Thank you." She murmured, before taking the steps back to eye the little filly. She was startled by the little one's words, but smiled nonetheless.
Aunt had an interesting ring to it.
"The pleasure is all mine, Jiri." She said with a laugh as the little filly ran around her. She smiled, using her tail to gently catch the filly and snuggle her mercilessly against her side, "I suppose you'll just have to call me Auntie Bel then, huh?" She asked, before motioning to her bonded, "And this is Yukime, but you can call her Yuki." She introduced, as the ice serpent nosed the little filly gently. Bel's eyes then rose, briefly looking up to Sol, a faint smile on her face, and a promise that they would pick this talk back up once she's sorted her own thoughts and feelings out before she returned her attention to the little filly she had been introduced to.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Sol Bestiam
Notes:: <3 <3 <3