Private the beating of your tell-tale heart

YOU'RE HOLY TO ME

The thought of leaving Sam behind when they have only just reunited is like a physical ache in his soul, gnawing at his insides like a rabid beast. It claws at the deepest parts of him, at the tender wounds in his heart, and it whispers to him all the dark, terrible fears that he is too afraid to confront: this is all a lie. Jetsam never wanted you in the first place. You will wake up soon and this will all be a dream. The voice sounds all-too-much like Adriana, singsong and taunting as it rakes across his spine, and the force of his own doubt almost brings him to his knees.

There is something behind Sam’s eyes that tells him this isn’t a dream, anyways, something hard and piercing that his Sam never had before -- he doesn’t think that he could hallucinate that. There is something Sam is hiding from him, and it only makes him unease worse -- but it is not safe here, not when Sam is clearly weak, not when the best idea would be to get the hell out of dodge before Raum decides to start hunting the canyons for deserters and rebels.

He doesn’t know what is haunting his lover, but he knows that Sam would not command him to leave unless it was serious. He turns to his lover with ears pinned back, clearly anxious at the idea, but he bites back the protest and instead dips his head down close to Sam’s ear.

“Go East half a mile -- you’ll find markings on the sandstone leading there, you should recognize them. There’s a cave with my armor inside it. It’ll shelter you until you can catch up -- there should be some water inside.”

Sam would be safe in the dead-end canyon -- he’s never seen another living being out there, so deep inside the canyons, and there would still be enough water left in his small flask to keep the man from dehydration.

“Meet me at the mouth of the canyons in two days. I’ll have supplies ready for the journey.”

He turns, his soul aching, and sets off at a hard gallop with one last glance backwards -- if he is to make it to the Oasis and back with the supplies they need, he’ll need to push himself.