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+---- Thread: [P] Long, long road (/showthread.php?tid=6519)
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RE: Long, long road - Caelum - 08-30-2021
Caelum
so just follow that track, send a postcard back
and you'll be okay
Caelum's gaze was soft, but reserved.
It was hard not to be when met with that sort of a reply, "I do not think I know how to be selfish, truly, Lu." Her words were barely a whisper, as a sad smile twisted her features, "After all, are we queens not raised to be selfless, to put their people first?" Her voice had dropped even lower for that, as if afraid the wrong ears could hear as if afraid someone would come barging in with curiosity as if she'd be forced to admit to anyone else that she was a weak queen who had ran away.
Why did her people still call her Queen?
She had latched onto this new topic like a lifeline, shaking focus off of herself like a heavy mantle she'd grown weary of. Here was something she could eagerly hear all about. She hummed at her friend as she tried to talk round it quickly, call it off as nothing, cutting herself off to deny the idea of the other feeling the same. "Well, how can you know if they did or did not if you do not ask?" She asked innocently, trying to keep the grin from her muzzle to see her friend's emotions all over the place.
It filled her heart with joy to see this side of Luvena.
She tilted her head, nodding about the situation that had been Lu and Rhone, and then there was a slip, a pause, and Caelum leaped at it with all four hooves, "Oh, she does, does she? Is she a "she" I might know? Perhaps you should introduce me, I can give her the friendly work over, test her for best friend's approval, make sure she is good enough for you, Lu." She teased gently before her expression softened, her tone turned more serious, "If she feels right, then do not hesitate to find out where it could go." She paused, a flash of the fanged grin in her mind's eye, "Even a few months with the right one, is better than no time with them at all."
Her smile had turned melancholy with the memories.
Happier times, easier times, "Tremaine was my 'feels right.'" The name left her with a sweet caress of emotion, a softness, a fragility for a name she didn't, ever, speak aloud anymore. "We were like fire and ice. A fae and a demon. My people were appalled, but it was just . . . so right to be together. A wholeness I had felt when I was with him. It ended tragically, yes, but if I could go back in time, I would make those same choices, because the little bit of time I had with him was worth the pain that came after losing him."
Why did it hurt so much, still though?
She turned her gaze to her friend, smiling, "Although, I would hope you a lifetime of happiness with your right one." She added, before the topic of losing Lu came up. It was like a cold blade of ice through her heart, another loved one lost, leaving her alone, alone. She didn't want to be alone, to lose Luvena like she'd lost so many others she cared for. Luvena might be 'just a friend,' but it didn't mean Caelum didn't feel a platonic love for her. She was the first friend she had made in Novus, and their connection now ran deep. Losing her was terrifying. So she let her friend distract her with the playful banner.
She was good at letting herself get distracted.
Sheltering away from pain, from fear, from the emotional hurricane buried deep in her soul that she refused to acknowledge. A largely unhealthy decision, but she found it easier to get through the days, weeks, months, years with those emotions locked away in a box, where they couldn't touch her. "Mhmm, true, that is a lot of power, we would not want you to go tyrant over my gardens, greenhouse, and storage room, now would we. Perhaps, it would be in the best interest of all to revoke your graciously offered right." The fae suggested with a soft laugh, before smiling reassuringly, "But, I promise, I have more than enough to go around."
And she knew Luvena wouldn't take and use selfishly.
Caelum couldn't help the thrill of excitement at the idea, her hooves almost seeming to prance in the dirt lightly, her smile vibrant, "I certainly hope so. It's odd enough to find my immortality coming in, to see wounds heal faster, but to be able to harness my powers properly, to breath the life into a dying plant, to convince the earth to move for me, to heal with a touch . . ." Her mother was supposed to be here to help train her, lead her, show her how to harness it all properly. And in the future, when her birth right came into play, when that summer gift of the ruling class came to be, her father was meant to show her how to control their season.
It was a momentary reminder they were gone.
She turned towards her friend, pausing to hear what she had to say, and smiling slightly as she allowed to distraction once more, "Oh, perhaps we should go shopping together, I'm sure there must be some enchanting merchants who could give you some glowing baubles!"
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Luvena
Notes: <3
It was hard not to be when met with that sort of a reply, "I do not think I know how to be selfish, truly, Lu." Her words were barely a whisper, as a sad smile twisted her features, "After all, are we queens not raised to be selfless, to put their people first?" Her voice had dropped even lower for that, as if afraid the wrong ears could hear as if afraid someone would come barging in with curiosity as if she'd be forced to admit to anyone else that she was a weak queen who had ran away.
Why did her people still call her Queen?
She had latched onto this new topic like a lifeline, shaking focus off of herself like a heavy mantle she'd grown weary of. Here was something she could eagerly hear all about. She hummed at her friend as she tried to talk round it quickly, call it off as nothing, cutting herself off to deny the idea of the other feeling the same. "Well, how can you know if they did or did not if you do not ask?" She asked innocently, trying to keep the grin from her muzzle to see her friend's emotions all over the place.
It filled her heart with joy to see this side of Luvena.
She tilted her head, nodding about the situation that had been Lu and Rhone, and then there was a slip, a pause, and Caelum leaped at it with all four hooves, "Oh, she does, does she? Is she a "she" I might know? Perhaps you should introduce me, I can give her the friendly work over, test her for best friend's approval, make sure she is good enough for you, Lu." She teased gently before her expression softened, her tone turned more serious, "If she feels right, then do not hesitate to find out where it could go." She paused, a flash of the fanged grin in her mind's eye, "Even a few months with the right one, is better than no time with them at all."
Her smile had turned melancholy with the memories.
Happier times, easier times, "Tremaine was my 'feels right.'" The name left her with a sweet caress of emotion, a softness, a fragility for a name she didn't, ever, speak aloud anymore. "We were like fire and ice. A fae and a demon. My people were appalled, but it was just . . . so right to be together. A wholeness I had felt when I was with him. It ended tragically, yes, but if I could go back in time, I would make those same choices, because the little bit of time I had with him was worth the pain that came after losing him."
Why did it hurt so much, still though?
She turned her gaze to her friend, smiling, "Although, I would hope you a lifetime of happiness with your right one." She added, before the topic of losing Lu came up. It was like a cold blade of ice through her heart, another loved one lost, leaving her alone, alone. She didn't want to be alone, to lose Luvena like she'd lost so many others she cared for. Luvena might be 'just a friend,' but it didn't mean Caelum didn't feel a platonic love for her. She was the first friend she had made in Novus, and their connection now ran deep. Losing her was terrifying. So she let her friend distract her with the playful banner.
She was good at letting herself get distracted.
Sheltering away from pain, from fear, from the emotional hurricane buried deep in her soul that she refused to acknowledge. A largely unhealthy decision, but she found it easier to get through the days, weeks, months, years with those emotions locked away in a box, where they couldn't touch her. "Mhmm, true, that is a lot of power, we would not want you to go tyrant over my gardens, greenhouse, and storage room, now would we. Perhaps, it would be in the best interest of all to revoke your graciously offered right." The fae suggested with a soft laugh, before smiling reassuringly, "But, I promise, I have more than enough to go around."
And she knew Luvena wouldn't take and use selfishly.
Caelum couldn't help the thrill of excitement at the idea, her hooves almost seeming to prance in the dirt lightly, her smile vibrant, "I certainly hope so. It's odd enough to find my immortality coming in, to see wounds heal faster, but to be able to harness my powers properly, to breath the life into a dying plant, to convince the earth to move for me, to heal with a touch . . ." Her mother was supposed to be here to help train her, lead her, show her how to harness it all properly. And in the future, when her birth right came into play, when that summer gift of the ruling class came to be, her father was meant to show her how to control their season.
It was a momentary reminder they were gone.
She turned towards her friend, pausing to hear what she had to say, and smiling slightly as she allowed to distraction once more, "Oh, perhaps we should go shopping together, I'm sure there must be some enchanting merchants who could give you some glowing baubles!"
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Luvena
Notes: <3
and if you feel unsure, well i been there before
and you'll be okay now
art by bingo
RE: Long, long road - Luvena - 09-03-2021
She let a sigh escape her lips, shook her head. “Sometimes… what we think is best for our people, what we think is selfless… putting them first, is the worst thing we can do. It’s what got my family killed” She turned her head away for a moment. Having been darker then she intended. “Caelum you can’t… You can’t just live your life keeping yourself from the good things because you think you don’t deserve them.” She was a hypocrite, truly. Had she not done the same thing for years now?
“Oh well what do you expect me to say! Hello woman, I think you’re very pretty and I might just like you a little bit like a love struck filly!” She snorted indignantly “I can’t just…” If she could have blushed in the moment she would have.
She paused. Lowering her head for a moment before looking to the fae. “Caelum she’s… she’s gorgeous, and strong. And I’m…” she stopped. Rarely did she think of herself this way. As something lesser. “Well. I’m not exactly the picture of health, or beauty” She though of her patchy coat, of the limp mane and tail that hung off her. “But… theres something about her… I don’t know. She just feels good. I don’t know if even Cavailier felt this good... “ she laughed briefly “And I carried children with her”
She touched her muzzle gently to the smaller mares shoulder. “He will always be with you” she murmured. “Just as Liatris and Eremurus are always with me somehow” and io she thought. Her best friend, her sister who had died, and left her with the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Oh well in that case I’ll have to send Polar North to come pillage your wares then I suppose” she bantered right back. “Thank you. Truly. Hopefully though, this winter will be kinder then the last.”
She nodded. “When mine came… well I never had the magic. But it was so strange to feel… I don’t know how to describe it, it was like… the whole universe was being funnelled into me, trickling in bit by bit. Until I was a part of it and it was a part of me. Indistinguishable.” she looked to Caelum. “You’ll figure it out. If anyone could heal through a glance it would be you”
“Yes we must!” and with that she started stacking the piles of packages. “I’ve a trip to make to the market now if you’d like to join me?” she opened the door, ready to continue the day.
OOC: this seems like a decent place to close?
@Caelum
RE: Long, long road - Caelum - 09-03-2021
Caelum
so just follow that track, send a postcard back
and you'll be okay
Caelum lowered her head, accepting her words for the truth they were.
Wasn't that what she'd done for so long? Tried so hard to help others, to be selfless, put their needs first, and it had cost her . . . cost her literally everything. "Yes, I . . . suppose that is true. Trying to be selfless, to put the people first and ignore what your heart is telling you can lead you to downfall. It can also blind you to possible dangers laying in wait . . . " Her kingdom had fallen because of that very reason. At her friend's words however, Caelum's eyes turned towards her, hesitating, almost afraid, "Luvena . . . I . . . what if I don't remember how to let myself have good things? It took so long for me to be willing to even let myself have this friendship . . . How do I let myself be happy again? What if I'm already too broken to receive such gifts? A broken shell of a mare . . . . " It wasn't just fear of the past repeating that held her back.
It was fear of her own lack of self-worth.
Her friends words allowed her something else to focus on, and she couldn't resist the faint smile, "Yes! Say exactly that! You walk straight up to her, hold your head tall, and you say those very words!" She stated with a nod, before her eyes suddenly sparkled, and when she spoke again, she was smiling, less sadness at the memory she was about to share, "Did I tell you . . . how Tremaine and I got together? I was the one who made that move you know. There was a dance, a party that was going to happen in the town we lived in, and while we had flirted, we weren't together, not really, not yet. So I'd left a bunch of balloons, and a giant card that asked him, and I quote 'Dearest Trey, Will you come to the Spring Fling with me?-- Your Princes.' Of course, I couldn't risk him not reading the card, so I wrote on the front that he better get the note. Of course, that silly stallion came right to my door, all blustered up to ask me if 'the fair princess was looking for her knight in shining armor.' His reaction when I told him my knight in shining armor was slipping out my back door while I answered the front was a sight to see, I thought he was about to storm through my home to chance some phantom out of my house." Her smile softened, melancholy but not as heartbroken as before, "He was something else . . . my demon stallion."
She shook her head, before turning to her friend at her words, and her ears pinned.
"Be silent, Lu! Don't you dare start like that. You might not be in perfect health, no, that that doesn't mean you're not beautiful. You're eyes sparkle when you're emotional, a fire that is all your own, that no one could ever hope to contain. You have a brightness about you that warms anyone's day. And frankly, if this mare of yours doesn't see that, then I'll hit her upside the head until she opens her eyes proper. If she feels good, if she feels that great for you . . . you don't let that go. You fight for it, you try for it, you reach for it. Because you never know if you'll regret the moves you don't make." Pot, meet kettle. She could preach the words, but not even she followed those words. If she had, wouldn't she have tried to talk to that stranger proper, the one she'd met so briefly during the candle lighting that autumn? The stallion with eyes as sorrowful as hers was, who had briefly made her heart flutter as he stood, a shadow against the night.
Her friend nuzzled her, and Caelum smiled warmly.
"You would never have to pillage, Luvena, you're my friend. Besides, I do not treat patients, I only supply what others can use to treat those they see. They'd collect dust on my shelves . . . well except for the ones that can be taken with out a medic's assistance, I plan to sell those as tonics and medicines others can keep on hand at home. Oh Lu, I have so many ideas too! Imagine, putting the herbs in honey and letting it harden. We can give it to foals to suck on, so they take their medicines willingly! Or have quick-fix for things like cough, or fever at home, so that medics will not be bothered up by the smaller treatments and miss more serious cases!" Caelum suddenly blushed, her gaze lowering, "Sorry . . . I get a little excited, thinking about it."
The idea of going to the market was a good one though.
Caelum smiled, helping her friend stack the packages, nodding her head, "I would love to join you. Sounds like a lot of fun!" She agreed, following her friend out the door, excited to see what they might find
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Luvena
Notes: <3 Yep, sounds like a good end to me <3
Wasn't that what she'd done for so long? Tried so hard to help others, to be selfless, put their needs first, and it had cost her . . . cost her literally everything. "Yes, I . . . suppose that is true. Trying to be selfless, to put the people first and ignore what your heart is telling you can lead you to downfall. It can also blind you to possible dangers laying in wait . . . " Her kingdom had fallen because of that very reason. At her friend's words however, Caelum's eyes turned towards her, hesitating, almost afraid, "Luvena . . . I . . . what if I don't remember how to let myself have good things? It took so long for me to be willing to even let myself have this friendship . . . How do I let myself be happy again? What if I'm already too broken to receive such gifts? A broken shell of a mare . . . . " It wasn't just fear of the past repeating that held her back.
It was fear of her own lack of self-worth.
Her friends words allowed her something else to focus on, and she couldn't resist the faint smile, "Yes! Say exactly that! You walk straight up to her, hold your head tall, and you say those very words!" She stated with a nod, before her eyes suddenly sparkled, and when she spoke again, she was smiling, less sadness at the memory she was about to share, "Did I tell you . . . how Tremaine and I got together? I was the one who made that move you know. There was a dance, a party that was going to happen in the town we lived in, and while we had flirted, we weren't together, not really, not yet. So I'd left a bunch of balloons, and a giant card that asked him, and I quote 'Dearest Trey, Will you come to the Spring Fling with me?-- Your Princes.' Of course, I couldn't risk him not reading the card, so I wrote on the front that he better get the note. Of course, that silly stallion came right to my door, all blustered up to ask me if 'the fair princess was looking for her knight in shining armor.' His reaction when I told him my knight in shining armor was slipping out my back door while I answered the front was a sight to see, I thought he was about to storm through my home to chance some phantom out of my house." Her smile softened, melancholy but not as heartbroken as before, "He was something else . . . my demon stallion."
She shook her head, before turning to her friend at her words, and her ears pinned.
"Be silent, Lu! Don't you dare start like that. You might not be in perfect health, no, that that doesn't mean you're not beautiful. You're eyes sparkle when you're emotional, a fire that is all your own, that no one could ever hope to contain. You have a brightness about you that warms anyone's day. And frankly, if this mare of yours doesn't see that, then I'll hit her upside the head until she opens her eyes proper. If she feels good, if she feels that great for you . . . you don't let that go. You fight for it, you try for it, you reach for it. Because you never know if you'll regret the moves you don't make." Pot, meet kettle. She could preach the words, but not even she followed those words. If she had, wouldn't she have tried to talk to that stranger proper, the one she'd met so briefly during the candle lighting that autumn? The stallion with eyes as sorrowful as hers was, who had briefly made her heart flutter as he stood, a shadow against the night.
Her friend nuzzled her, and Caelum smiled warmly.
"You would never have to pillage, Luvena, you're my friend. Besides, I do not treat patients, I only supply what others can use to treat those they see. They'd collect dust on my shelves . . . well except for the ones that can be taken with out a medic's assistance, I plan to sell those as tonics and medicines others can keep on hand at home. Oh Lu, I have so many ideas too! Imagine, putting the herbs in honey and letting it harden. We can give it to foals to suck on, so they take their medicines willingly! Or have quick-fix for things like cough, or fever at home, so that medics will not be bothered up by the smaller treatments and miss more serious cases!" Caelum suddenly blushed, her gaze lowering, "Sorry . . . I get a little excited, thinking about it."
The idea of going to the market was a good one though.
Caelum smiled, helping her friend stack the packages, nodding her head, "I would love to join you. Sounds like a lot of fun!" She agreed, following her friend out the door, excited to see what they might find
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Luvena
Notes: <3 Yep, sounds like a good end to me <3
and if you feel unsure, well i been there before
and you'll be okay now
art by bingo