averin
ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL
Averin had mixed opinions about meeting others for the first time. For one, Averin was quite shy, but on the other hand -- or hoof, as it were -- Averin was also very friendly, and enjoyed the company of others around him. It made for a difficult kind of internal conflict to endure, but what could Averin do? He could only try and make friends, shy as he was, and see how it went for him. So far, things had been strange in these new lands, and he had also been very lonely when he had first arrived and the time from that to when he was finally found by Only once more. He wasn't sure where Only was at the moment, but that wasn't any of his concern. Only would do as Only pleased, and Averin would respect all that the other male did. That was the way this whole thing worked, after all.

And it wasn't too hard to look past that. Averin didn't know too much of what Only really did, nor much about the male in general. The first meeting had been very brief, and Averin still had no clue what the other male's interest in him was. Company, maybe? It was all pretty strange, but who was Averin to judge? He liked to have company of any friendly sort, and couldn't stand to be all on his own for so long. To not have a purpose. For so long with the caravan, he had been a care taker, someone to watch over the young ones that the caravan ended up with. Averin knew that how the caravan ended up with the youngsters was not by any good means, but he could do nothing about it. He survived in the way that he had been taught how to do, and that was that. Now he had a different path. He just did not know what it consisted of, yet.

It was a nice sunny day, and Averin no longer felt the same strong pull to stay near the river, not when the command had already been fulfilled. Instead, Averin was curious about the other places nearby. He wouldn't go too far, since he wanted to be easily found if and when needed, but aside from that, he wanted to explore a little more. See what was out there. Today there appeared to be a field, and another was out there chasing a rabbit. Averin couldn't imagine why anyone would be doing such a thing, and so he set out to go and investigate further. In a way that hopefully wouldn't be too nosy. Hopefully. So Averin lingered nearby, not trying to get too close to the filly or the rabbit hole, since the critter had darted down into it a moment prior. Then he decided to break the silence with a light "Hello." And see where that led him.

I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

averin
ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL
Averin did not know what he would have been in a previous life. If he'd had a previous life at all, or if he was a new soul altogether. Without memories or someone to speak on it, all that was left up to the imagination, and Averin never really imagined too much on past lives. He was too busy living this one, and day dreaming about what could happen within it. Yet he did not have any real goals just yet, though he imagined that he should perhaps get some. Dream something up that he could obtain. In this new place there might be a lot of options for him; a lot of open doors that he could walk through. He'd have to check on his restrictions from Only first, but so far it didn't seem like much.

Then again, anything could change on the male's whim, and he was also aware that Only was different from others in a way. Averin had to observe more to be sure on how all that worked out, but so far there was nothing bad aimed at him, and he was grateful for it. Averin was also uncertain as to what his place here in the court was, because he had not yet tried to go and figure it out, or meet the higher ups. For one, he wasn't sure what he would say or what he would be considered here, and he knew that those within his position ought not speak to the higher ups. It wouldn't be his place to do so -- he was too low on the proverbial totem pole -- and that would be something reserved for Only.

Though Averin did not think Only was fond of being in any court, as it was. There were a lot of questions that could be posed to Only in time, but Averin did not want to seem too pushy or bothersome or any of that. What would he do if Only decided to kick him to the curb? He'd already had a taste of being alone, of having no purpose and aimlessly wandering along the riverside. Averin was loathe to have to do anything like that again without a direct order. Some free time, however, he could accept. Like today, here and now. Watching the lady and the rabbit, and finally gathering enough courage to go and speak to her. He didn't want her to think he was some creeper, after all. Because he wasn't.

Averin wanted to try and live a better life this time, though that was subject, of course, to Only's wishes. For now Averin could guess and not much more until he was told or learned more on his own. Therefore, he takes his free time and doesn't think too hard on the future. It wasn't his to muse on, and was made a waste of time by that fact. Meeting others was something he could do, and even through his shyness he yearned for friends. So he had greeted the lady with her nose in the rabbit hole, and the snort first heard made him concerned that he was being a pest, and he lifted a hoof to begin to step back and away from her when she turned around towards him. Averin was surprised at the sight.

She had button eyes, though he doesn't know the word 'button', and cannot place a word to the meaning of what she has instead of eyes that most have. Averin isn't sure what to make of it, so he doesn't comment on it. Her question was there, aloft in the air and waiting for a response, and so he gives one; "No, I did not." The tone was light and warm, and he couldn't fathom a rabbit being able to sneak past her nose anyway. Maybe she was just being polite? And then she was giving her name, and Averin nearly tripped over his own; he had only begun to use his real name aloud, and it still felt and sounded a little strange to him. "I'm Averin. Nice to meet you, Coraline." And he smiled brightly at her.

So far so good at the idea of a possible friend, but he doesn't know her story, doesn't know what it would be like to go through all that she had gone through. He doesn't know her enough to tell her that she probably knew his fathers -- how would he know that one of them sold her some birds? -- or anything that links them in some subtle way. He only has this moment now, and it wasn't a bad moment at all. He blinks when she asks him if he's ever spoken to a rabbit, and he has to grin somewhat sheepishly. "One of my fathers can shift into a rabbit, so I suppose that's a yes?" And his ears twitch a little because he's suddenly feeling even more shy, though he doesn't know why.

I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

averin
ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL
There had been enough lapses into silence in Averin's life, and a lot of it was indeed because he was shy and did not always know what to say, what to talk about. Having those awkward moments filled in with just about anything was fine with him. Averin knew that he needed more experience in meeting others, and this was just that; more experience in meeting a stranger. She was nice as far as he could tell, and that was a good thing to keep in mind. Averin did not know many he could call friend, but that wasn't because he was unfriendly at all, no. More due to the fact that having friendships within the caravan did not work all that well, as most weren't there for all that long in the first place. It didn't last.

Yet Averin had always been friendly to those that came and went, make no mistake. Just because he couldn't keep any of them as friends did not mean that the budding of such a thing had not been there time and time again. After awhile, though, it simply hurt too much to get attached only for them all to leave. Averin had learned that forming real bonds was not something he could have, though he would cherish the moments that he got with those that had brushed past his life. He doesn't know if that was what this was, but he was hopeful that there could be lasting friendships in this new place, under a new master. So he held onto that hope, even as he tried not to get too ahead of himself on the idea.

Coraline was saying that his name was lovely, and Averin felt warm all over just at hearing someone say his name out loud after all this time. Knowing that his name was lovely was such a nice thing to hear, and he would keep those words close to his heart. "Thank you. I like your name, it sounds elegant." He responded with a nod. Most names of the youth brought into the caravan -- and sent out, later -- ended up with short names, nothing with flair to it, so it was interesting to hear names that must have been lovingly placed upon others. Which made him all the more curious about Only's name, and if it was self given or placed by a parent or someone like that. There had to be a story there, Averin thinks.

Not one that he's likely to get anytime soon, if ever. He did not believe it would be wise to ask his new master about it at this point in time. Though his attention was pulled away from those thoughts and pushed back to the memories -- small amount that they were -- of his fathers when Coraline asked him how many he had. "Just two. Although I guess one is also sort of my mother, since he carried my siblings and I in the way that most mares carry foals before they are born." And yes, Averin was very much aware that this was not the usual order of things. It had never occurred to him how strange it was to many until he was no longer living with his parents anymore; when he knew how most came to be born.

He is interested to hear how Coraline had a couple fathers, though by her explinations, it wasn't the same as Averin's family dynamics. He listened thoughtfully to what she was telling him, wondering how one got others to become parents like that. Of course his focus was next on her comment about the rabbit shift of one father, and asking if he could do that. Averin shook his head. "No, I did not get that ability. I was able to shift into a panther, though. But I haven't been able to do that in a long time." He felt sad about that loss most of all out of the abilities he'd had, but he could barely even remember what it felt like to be in that form anymore. It used to feel right and good, but that was all he still remembered.

The words about a stuffed foxed made him blink, but he understood the idea of magic stealing or being stolen away. That had happened to him, somehow, after all. She was explaining that magic had taken a lot from everyone here, and Averin nods to that. "Maybe we'll someday get them back." He wanted to be optimistic about it, even if more for her sake than his. He had resigned himself to his own losses, and they felt more like old scars to him now. She had jumped to talking about liking his wings and asking if it hurt him to fly, and Averin gave a little shrug. "No, it doesn't hurt. I haven't ever gone too far whenn flying, though. It made those who kept me nervous when I flew." He replied sheepishly.

I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

averin
ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL
Averin hadn't seen the blushing, but he was always doing his best to be warm and friendly, because that was simply who he was. He liked to make others smile when he could, liked to spread happiness where it might be needed. He'd been so down of late with the lack of a purpose and the fact that he had been very, very lost, that he hadn't felt all that like himself. What a strange feeling that had been. That it still was. Averin needed to shake it off, because it wasn't something that looked good on him. He was the cheerful sort, not the kind of creature that was down and out and moping about it. He found the silver linings and moved on from the sad points in life. He accepted things as they were.

That led to a better outlook on life, because if he did not do it like that, he figured that things would be pretty bleak. That wasn't what Averin wanted. The good parts were out there, and he wanted to reach for them, hold them and share them with everyone around him. He wanted to spread cheer and good feelings, and he had meant the compliment that he had given Coraline for her name. It reminded him that maybe he shouldn't be telling anyone his real name if Only was serious about re-naming him Trouble, though Averin wasn't feeling okay about the name, and certainly not enough to use it in the presence of others. He couldn't do anything about it if Only told others the name or used it, but Averin didn't have to.

Averin did not think too extensively about stallions having babies, though he knows it was possible. Does he know for sure that it could be done by just anyone, or even himself? Nope, no idea on that. There had never been a reason to think too much on it, because he was a virgin. And Only thought that Averin should stay that way. Which meant that Averin would, because he could not break an order that was given to him. Therefore the whole topic was meaningless to him. He had no business finding any of it out, and so he accepted that fact and moved on to other thoughts quickly enough. Coraline had brought up the losses of many here, and of course Averin wondered if any of those things could be gotten back.

How to go about finding that out, though, escaped him. He wasn't really suppost to go too far from Only anyway, so it wasn't as if he could go on some quest to find out the answers anytime soon. He couldn't stray too far from the river or from Ruris, or had to return to them sooner rather than later. Seeking out abilities and things like that didn't seem like the big deal for him that it might be to others, though. Averin was okay with his lack of what he'd once had, because he had those things as a child and he was no longer that. Coraline was onto wings and flying, and Averin's answer just seemed to create more questions from her, though he wasn't too bothered by that. A little uncertain on the topic, though.

Averin did not know how much he should tell her of his situation or what his life had been back with the enforcers. Still, what harm could it really do? So he shook his head at the idea that his parents had been the nervous ones; though maybe they had been, in other ways, just not this one. "I was kidnapped as a child by a caravan that wipes memories and reprograms youngsters so they can sell them. I guess it made them nervous that I might fly away and not come back." He answered evenly, not bothering to sugar-coat what it was, or the life he had lived. What he doesn't tell her is that he had never considered flying away from them, because he did not know how to go on alone, or how to be anything else.

I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN

averin
ILLUSION NEVER CHANGED INTO SOMETHING REAL
Averin's wings had been more of an asthetic in the caravan than anything more practical than that, like flying. It wasn't that Averin never thought of going off into the sky for awhile, because he had. He merely knew better than to mess with the way of things, the orders, rules and regulations of the enforcers. They would only wish to erase the memories if he were to go against them in any way, and Averin had wanted to keep his memories more than he had ever wanted to do anything the enforcers wouldn't like. At least as far as what he might have been able to get away with doing, like taking a flight or saying no to them.

He would have risked his memories to try and stop the swiping of youngsters from their homes; make the enforcers stop altogether and end the caravan itself, because Averin had known it was wrong. Yet he knew he couldn't rise up against them, couldn't get far in such a goal, and so he hadn't. He wouldn't have been able to convince the brainwashed ones to go, wouldn't have been a good leader for them to take them away from the caravan lifestyle. Therefore there wasn't any way to change anything by himself. Averin was too meek to take on such tasks by himself, but the wish that it could be done had always lingered. 

Alas, the caravan may have found it's end anyway, because business had begun to fail before he had been sold off. Averin can only hope it had ended, and there would be no more of that to darken anyone's days. And just maybe he would make a habit of flying now, if Only was agreeable with the idea. Averin had no intent to fly away, and that should be obvious merely in the way that Averin had waited for Only for this long, when he could have just as easily run off on his own at any point that Only wasn't around. But Averin did not do well on his own, and therefore wasn't tempted to go and strike off on his own. 

He wasn't equipped for dealing with all that might come his way if he were alone. Only had told him that there were so many others who would just love to rip him apart. Averin took that seriously. He already knew a few things about life worked among those who simply took what they wanted, and he did not want ro endure such things. Only would protect him from that; so he put his trust in the male. So far so good. But his thoughts were soon on what Coraline was saying, and Averin nodded. "It was hard pretending that I didn't know what was going on, what they were doing." He admitted softly, looking bashful.

There was no change in stance or expression when Coraline had reached out, only to pull back again. Averin didn't think he'd have minded the touch any, though. Her next words made him blink, then shrug his shoulders. She did not stop there, speaking of Delumine and staying with her and whomever the 'us' she spoke of included; that they seemed pretty nice. "I don't want to fly away, I wouldn't even know where to go or what to do." He shook his head. "Besides, the caravan is long gone, and I belong to Only now. He bought me in the place he calls Rift, and is going to protect me." Of this Averin felt sure, even if it wasn't truly assurred.

I'M WIDE AWAKE AND I CAN SEE THE PERFECT SKY IS TORN