It's taken awhile to reach the the oasis that lies in what I now call my homeland. I'm most definitely exhausted as fuck. I've been traveling for so long now (days? weeks?) that my body barely can function. Or at least, that's the feeling that overwhelms me. I'm sure my body could hold out a little longer if I asked it to, but let's not. I reach the lowest pool of the oasis, and stop at the edge. I stand there staring at my reflection beyond the ripples, my mind full of dust. I'm sure if you peeked inside you'd see tumbleweed passing by. I try to summon thought after a moment, but the gears are slow to move (creaking, rusty, needing oil). My knees bend, body crumpling to the ground, only softened by the depth of the sand around me.

I dip my nose into the water, and it seems to awaken thought within me. I have not found the relic - only a small red stone that I have kept with me since I was with Weir at the Dusk Court. Perhaps there is no relic, and it was all talk. Perhaps it is still out there, or maybe someone else found it. Either way, I am not in possession, and therefore cannot use it to barter with the Gods for them to bring Damaris to me. Tears threaten to break again on to my face, as they had when I first arrived in Novus. But they won't come - I'm too exhausted. The setting sun warms me, not to overheating, but enough to make me warm on the sand. A languished sigh slips out. I don't know what I can do but hope and wait. I lay my head down on the sand and close my eyes, hoping that a moment of rest will clear the sadness, clear the murky mire of thoughts, and bring some sort of relief to my exhausted mind, soul, body.

WC: 326
Tag: @Victorina

Rostislav

more than a drunken fool

I feel myself relaxing and I think a snooze might be coming on, despite the sadness that penetrates deep within me. No better way to avoid your emotions, your 'real life problems' than by taking a nap. After all, when you're unconscious you can't be worrying about all the daily struggles. (Not entirely true, for such worries can visit in dreams, but it's more successful than staying awake.) Just as I think that I might start to drift, a voice calls my name, questioning. I exhale a sigh I didn't even realize I'd taken, and for a moment I hope that the stranger just goes away. I'm trying to rest, escape, and can't be bothered with conversation right now. But my curiosity gets the best of me, and I lift my head enough to look over my shoulder, seeing a young mare approach. I recognize her from the mountains as the youthful Victorina. I sit up a little, but stay lying on the ground. The sweet thing has been so polite that I feel no need to stand on ceremony or present myself as formidable stallion. No, her presence is peaceful and relaxing, and she seems kind enough to not mind me staying recumbent.

"Ah Victorina, it's just you." I smile at her reassuringly, for she seems wary of approaching me. "Come over, I was just resting. Quite a different place to see you, than the mountains." A chuckle escapes me, for what I say is perfectly true. Even though being in the oasis offers some relief from the heat, and the spring weather keeps the sun's rays more mild than blistering, it is still quite different from being at the peak of a mountain. I motion to the crystal clear water that I've previously dipped my nose into. "Have a drink, if you're parched." I watch the young roan for her reaction, wondering if she came to visit, just happened upon me, or if perhaps she has some sort of question to ask. She is completely unfamiliar to me, though I try to rack my brain for memories of her. She said she was from Helovia after all, so she must have known some of the poor souls I once knew. But I was gone for so long and she is so young, there can't possibly have been a crossing of our paths.

WC: 394
Tag: @Victorina

Rostislav

more than a drunken fool

Victorina seems a little bit timid around me, still! And yet I can't fathom why. Despite the pointy things that cover a couple parts of my body I'm actually quite soft and snuggly. I shrug mentally. It's not my problem if she's going to act like a delicate flower. I notice a hint of sadness as she speaks of home... clearly I am not the only one suffering from homesickness.

Though to be fair, it isn't homesickness that has me down. It isn't the Hidden Falls that I miss nor even Helovia! There are just certain characters in it that I wish perhaps had survived the destruction. Like Damaris, Kiara... I know Midas did not survive because I was around when he died. That was before 'the end'. And yet here is Victorina. The thought creeps through the recesses of my mind. If she made it, perhaps others have made it, too. I can't say for certain, and I'd have to admit that my mind is so riddled with doubt it looks like Swiss cheese.

I watch her lips part as they reach the surface of the water, her reflection distorting as her muzzle disturbs the stillness of the liquid. When her green eyes turn to meet my silver ones, I think that I see hope and longing in them. Beyond her simple question of where I'm from, she wants to know what connection we might have. Desperate for something to tie her to home, like a living memory of the place she can never return to. It makes me hesitate in my reply, not because I have to think of what to say but because I am filled with some unidentifiable emotion.

"The Hidden Falls, with Midas and Seele, for a time." My voice is soft and kind. "I left before you were born, I believe. I came back to find Helovia in ruins." Regret tinges my words, knowing the choices I made may have saved my life, but also may have left a rift between me and those I cared about. There's nothing I can do now to change the past, but that can't stop the feelings I feel.

WC: 361
Tag: @Victorina
Comments: just an FYI that I did revert him to his original Helovia age, not the age he left at. When he left he would have been probably 8, I started him back in Novus as 6. Sorry that makes timelines wonky!

Rostislav

more than a drunken fool

It would appear that my words have left her in as much confusion as her words leave me. I do remember an invasion of the Falls - by the World's Edge and Aurora Basin herds. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, because that was when Midas passed away, too. A lot of good horses were wounded or killed. It was around that time that my own daughter Vitani was born. Though of course at the time we didn't know that there was about to be an invasion. What a terrible moment to be born into! That part of Vitani's story stirs memories - but this 'Kaos' and news of the Earth God leaving the Falls! Not only is that blasphemy but definitely not something I have any knowledge of.

The young girl sinks to the sand beside me, and seems to immediately relax. I wonder if she is so tired on her feet, or if she really loves sand that much. It's not for me to know or decide. I reach a muzzle forward toward her shoulder intending to brush her shoulder with my lips, trying to offer her comfort, for she seemed quite distressed. "I don't know anything about this Kaos. But he sounds truly horrible to intimidate the Earth God to leave the Falls - and for the herd to disintegrate all together!" I shake my head in dismay. The idea is so foreign I can hardly imagine it, and it seems surreal. "However...." I hesitate, still trying to organize the memories in my mind, so they might make a readable scene. "I had a child around that time, too. A lovely daughter." A smile slips onto my face. I didn't know my daughter well - for I had not spent much time with her and her mother after the birth. It wasn't for lack of desire to, but just... being occupied elsewhere. They stayed away from trouble, and as one of two Legatus I was involved in a lot of war-related action. And then, of course, the invasion happened.... For whatever reason the memories are faded, perhaps I was trying to bar the pain and sadness. Soon after that, I left Helovia, grief-ridden and mourning. So much must have happened in my absence.

A sigh slips past now, and I realize I've been staring off into nowhere. I look back at Victorina, and suddenly begin to wonder... Vitani. Victorina. Could my daughter have grown and had a child while I was away? It was painful, to think that I'd missed that much of my family's lives. What had happened to Kiara? To Vitani? Who was this Victorina - really? Finally, after thinking about it for awhile, my voice finally reacts. "...was... your mother Vitani?"

WC: 454
Tag: @Victorina

Rostislav

more than a drunken fool

I listen to her explanation of this "Kaos." Would I have been able to prevent anything from happening that did? No. Without a doubt I would have been as powerless as the other citizens of Helovia. Could I have maybe encouraged some to leave before the end? Maybe. The beating muscle in my chest tenses just as the muscles in my hindquarters might tense before a leap. Realizing as she continues speaking that this filly might be my granddaughter makes it all that much more painful. But the look on Victorina's soft face tells me -- yes. The 'maybe', the 'could it possibly'... the answer is.. "Yes." I nearly choke on the one word. More emotion that I'm used to expressing welling up inside my throat. My heart pangs, my lungs ache. My nostrils burn and my throat is tight. For a moment I can't meet her emerald eyes, my own staring at the ground. Another moment later and I bring my gaze up. Speech is difficult, but I make it happen. "Vitani was my daughter. Her mother Kiara." I blink back what must be tears forming, and hope that I can avoid showing such weakness in front of this impressionable young thing. What would she think of me for leaving her mother and grandmother to die?

Suddenly I stand, disturbing the grass and sand around me, and I turn my bulky form away from her. "I.. I didn't know what was going to happen." My voice is deep, gravely, distorted by disbelief and pain and... I can't identify all the emotions, in fact no coherent thought at all is going through my mind. I am shamed to be in Victorina's presence. The next words are so soft they're barely audible. "I'm sorry." There's nothing that can be said to erase what I've done - what I HAVEN'T done. I can't beg her forgiveness nor even promise to atone for my sins of abandoning my family, for I cannot guarantee that somehow the same thing won't happen again. I have never claimed to know the future and have always found it wise to avoid doing so. What will she think of me? How can she even stand to look at me?

WC: 369
Tag: @Victorina

Rostislav

more than a drunken fool