[P] the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Printable Version +- [ CLOSED♥ ] NOVUS rpg (https://novus-rpg.net) +-- Forum: Realms (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Forum: Ruris (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=6) +---- Forum: Archives (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=96) +---- Thread: [P] the things that keep us apart keep me alive; (/showthread.php?tid=3162) |
the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Michael - 02-13-2019 I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask, and neither should you He has missed the ocean; his first home, his first love. Michael's father told him when he was young that their family had always been pirates, and Michael had always figured it was true. The sea frequently calls his name, the lilting siren song of the deep and the wide. His bones are pulled toward it. His heart groans for salt grass and fine sand. So he goes to the ocean. Michael's lopes toward the end of the world, again. Michael does not hurry, and the hush that falls over him is ghastly. In it there are ghosts with their pale hands and their white eyes -- there is the silver and the blue of a girl he once knew and the time they cried together on the beach. This was after the end. Everything was after the end. He is hesitant to slow. To slow is to think and to think is to invite the frankly foreboding sense of bigger thing than he wants to imagine that drapes him like a wet blanket. He has had it, he thinks, since he woke up in the mountains - it is the drums of ancient magic and the quiet rumble of deep hurt and he does not know quite how to categorize. Michael doesn't like not knowing. He doesn't want to know, doesn't want to tie himself to another world with another heart unless he can help it, but the not-knowing kills him. Why do his bones ache the way they do? Why does he feel so, very, very tired? Why is there a pit in his stomach that has never been there? Why, when he reaches the shore, does Michael gracelessly lurch to a halt and hesitate to continue? He gets no time to come to the answer; rather, something else comes to him. Well, someone, and she does not so much approach Michael as Michael almost trips over her when he turns to walk the shoreline. His first thought is that she must be the sun. He squints to look at her through the thick white curtain of his mane, all bunches and mangled and wind-tossed. He cannot remember the last time he saw something so bright. "Oh, hello." he says. "Hey, um..." Michael pauses. He has gone so long without someone to talk to. Hundreds of years, surely. It definitely feels like hundreds of years. Finally, Michael tilts his head, and flashes her a smile. This is characteristic. This is normal. Finding normal again has not been easy. "Do you, um-- are you...? Hi. I'm Michael." @Israfel heeeere you go LOL RE: the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Israfel - 02-14-2019 @ the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Michael - 02-16-2019 I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask, and neither should you It would always have gone like this, Michael traipsing back into existence at the precipice of winter when he at his quintessence is a child of the summer sea. He still feels disoriented and tired for a purpose that he can't quite place. The ground beneath him hums with magic and history and it pounds in his head. Michael's brows are furrowed when she greets him; he doesn't frown often, not really, but his expression toes the line between ambivalence and frustration. Is she... what? He hadn't really considered. How do you tell a person that they're breathtaking when you can barely breathe for the weight on your chest? How do you look someone in the eyes and casually mention that you're drowning in their fire, that it brings you to life in ways that are entirely uncharacteristic? How do you do all of that and also explain that none of this matters, not really. Michael is not known for being hard to impress. He is drawn to poetry and cathedrals and her presence echoes like every marble chamber he's ever seen. Israfel's fire is a crackling spark in his eyes and when he breathes in to speak it's a flash of the Michael he used to be and wants to be again. It passes quickly. "Israfel," he starts, pauses, sighs. "um." Ever eloquent. Michael can live as many lifetimes as he'd like but he is still at a loss for small talk. All of Michael's strength lies in songs about the yawning jaws of the ocean and things plucked from daydreams and he is honestly good for little else. Michael squints upward. He is searching for words. What he finds instead is the phoenix, huge and bright. "Hold on, is that yours? Well, as much as anyone can be anyone else's. You know." The palomino smiles to himself, still squinting into the sun. "Breathtaking." He had meant it as a reply to her earlier question. His head hurts. @Israfel RE: the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Israfel - 02-27-2019 @ the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Michael - 03-02-2019 I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask, and neither should you Michael thinks he could stand here forever, eyes squinting against the pale autumn sun. Perhaps if he stood until his insides burned out, until his eyes and his tongue turned to ash... It could never be that easy. Michael has met a phoenix or two in his long, long life. He has only ever known them as vain and fickle creatures. They had not helped him find the peace that he so desperately craves, but he appreciates them all the same. Every phoenix is beautiful and heartbreaking in their own way. Michael hopes that someday he too can be reforged from his own dust, crafted again into something stronger. Something happier. Solaris. Michael smiles, one ear cocked toward Israfel. "It would be," he says, not to be rude but because of course her name is Solaris. How could it be anything but? He hopes that his kind--if melancholy--smile conveys that his statement was meant in utmost sincerity. "I love it." Michael grows visibly tense as she approaches. He doesn't feel tense but he has yet to wrest his flight instinct back in order. You run from enough things in your life and you become the running. If Michael is anything he is the wind as it blows. He's not sure what that means. Israfel blooms before him, settling into curiosity rather than the guarded skepticism of moments past. The golden horse doesn't doubt that he'll bring it back out of her at some point. He is not particularly complicated but he can be hard to understand. He doesn't particularly understand himself. Where do you call home? Michael thinks, Liridon. Michael thinks, Ilir and the weight of a crown that was too heavy for his tired head. Michael thinks, Eleven. Michael very quickly thinks, not Eleven. Not for a long time. "I'm from Denocte, I guess." Michael answers, and in his head there is the queen and her dragon and her city you don't know if you live in. Something quiet stirs inside him. Perhaps that ever-elusive concept of home stirs. He doesn't know. "Well, I'm from... somewhere else. I walked here. I think." He falls into a tense silence. There are balloons in his chest and the tingle of things unsaid in his throat. "--Anyway, what about you? And how's it, uh, going there?" @Israfel RE: the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Israfel - 03-31-2019 @ the things that keep us apart keep me alive; - Michael - 04-06-2019 I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask, and neither should you If Michael is meant to be playing some game he is surely losing, sweating there on the beach before the phoenix and her phoenix, feeling too heavy and too light, a metronome rocking between panic and exhaustion at a pace that makes him ill. It used to be so much easier just to be alive. Everything used to be so much easier. Michael is a comet adrift in space, arms outstretched and fingers reaching to catch whatever he can, to hold whatever he must to maintain his admittedly strained sense of self. He grabs her words as he passes by and they pull him from the existential deep. The waves roar in his ears. Gulls are crying above him. A phoenix circles. Another phoenix stands, expectant. “Neighbors, huh? Interesting.” and he returns her gaze with one of his own, tepid but not unkind. “Maybe I’ll visit. At some point. If… it happens, I guess.” Michael purses his lips, tucks the corners back just a little. His brows furrow. All of this is obfuscated. He is thankful for it. His is an expression of veiled frustration. Anyway, He is spinning, an entire galaxy crushed and compacted until it doesn’t look at all like it did when he first began. Michael follows her gaze outward to the cresting waves, the lapping ocean. If he has ever felt like he’s at home in Novus it’s got to be here, and it’s got to be now, and for whatever reason it’s got to be next to Israfel, a sylph set on fire. What is your favorite color, Michael? Do you remember how to love anything, anymore? Do you remember what it means to have any sort of opinion that matters? To care at all about anything that isn’t the stars or the ocean? If he’s going to answer truthfully, “that one,” is what he says while tilting his head down, toward the sand below their feet. “Whatever you’d call that, I’m pretty sure it’s my favorite color. It reminds me of home. That, or red.” Michael lifts his head again, shakes the hair out of his eyes for once. They are blue and sharp. “You’re welcome to prying questions, as long as I am, too.” @Israfel |