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[P] United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Printable Version

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United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Reckitt - 04-05-2019

It was beside the creek that she woke that day, coiled into herself as much as any equine could, their bones were not meant for curling up- it had taken her several attempts to learn this over the coming weeks. Not for lack of trying, often looking absurd as she failed to wound around herself like she had as a canine, to tuck herself in with her tail. Strange though, the chill had not left her aching beside the water, no more so than she usually did. Her right ankle was the only exception; an ever constant reminder throughout her seemingly endless lives. All things to be expected due to the season, which still continued to change, the days colder as they grew long into the heart of Winter. Days as short as her list of companions, she moved as molasses does down the ragged bark of a tree making friends in this place.


Clinging far too dearly to that which she could not have back, to a life passed.

Her breath hangs like a fog as she breathes it, freely, here as she stands in the quiet of the fields. Another place she has no name for, another world where she must relearn life and this time, this time, her task was much more difficult. Tested, with an unyielding will to comply to the task set before her. For a coward, she was more than she seemed, stronger than she let on. Perhaps not of body, but there are many things that might define strength, in this, Reckitt was strong of faith; if she was weak in all else.

A place was found within the realm, Novus, moving along a path that was one of comfort, security. Often resorting to what she knew she was capable of, which was much more than one might guess- all in due time. A healer, a medic, an alchemist, her expertise was called different things but it was all the same in the end; one day she might be reminded that she is much the same as she ever was. Dawn Court, they did not turn her away, instead they welcomed her, she was quietly thankful for them, helping where she could, but a shadow in her own right. Reckitt was a silent presence in a loud world that was always teetering on the ledge of chaos and crashing ruckus, tempting fate in ways she never dared; not outright.

If anything seemed to bring her a semblance of a rock to hold her up, the strength she needed to push on in this body that was hers, and not hers at all. A buffer between the world that was often too much for the soft soul of a Druid, though she was not sure she was one anymore, was she?

It was Rou, the kind soldier that lent his strength to the weak, the not capable, to souls like herself.


@Corrdelia <3



RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Corrdelia - 04-06-2019

Winter brought many changes. The temperatures dropped drastically and life seemed to go into hiding and hibernation. It was tempting for Corrdelia to do the same, but she knew this would not be productive. She needed to continue moving around and getting out there, even if it was to just get a breath of fresh air.

Today, she had decided to leave her house to head to the Court's keep to see what all the hustle and bustle was. Apparently there were some activities going on and she didn't want to miss out. Plus, business had been slow lately so perhaps she could find some interested parties within the main Court.

Hāsta flew up ahead, a distant shape in the sky that served as her reference point. Even being here for some time now, she was still getting used to making her way around. It was helpful to have her crow familiar show her the way so she could make sure not to get lost. Although, leaving the house today proved to be a challenge as the crow made sure to express her dislike. Corr was used to it now since there was very little that made the bird happy. Eventually she got through to her and she agreed to go out (besides, what else would she do anyway? Hāsta spent the majority of her time with Corr and didn't have anywhere else to be).

Soon the swamp was far behind them and they had made their way out onto the fields. Somehow even with the arrival of winter, it was still beautiful out here. The tall grass did not have its usual lush green color, but it had a soft frost that twinkled in the sunlight. The crunching sounds underneath her hooves was oddly satisfying.

The other nice thing about the fields is that it was easy to see who else was out here without Hāsta's help. Before the bird said anything, Corr noticed the form of another equine ahead. Perhaps they had similar plans for the day?

"There's someone up ahead. Not sure what they're doing, just seems like they're standing around… could be waiting for someone. We should be careful."

"You worry too much! There's no harm in introducing ourselves. If it turns out weird, we can just leave," she replied, attempting to be reassuring. The crow was too pessimistic and most of the time she was wrong in her assumptions.

Corr picked up her pace to a trot and headed over to the stranger. They did not look familiar, so it was likely they were not from within the Dusk Court. By the expression on their face, they seemed troubled. Maybe she was just the one to help.

"Hi there! Are you alright?" she called out before coming up beside them and offered a small smile. "My name is Corrdelia. What brings you out here?"

There was a caw above them, which clearly was Hāsta's protesting, but the mare ignored her. After circling a couple times, the bird came down and landed on Corr's shoulder, eyeing the stranger suspiciously.

"Oh and this is Hāsta, but don't mind her, she's all talk really!"

@Reckitt oof this isn't the best sorry haha



RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Reckitt - 04-10-2019

The chill in the air finds her, a shiver racing against the pristine sheer of her body, the hair that has become long and unruly- she is no longer soft and silken; not that it mattered. Reckitt was never one to covet her appearance, though she had a simple beauty about her, it was not something she really saw, it wasn’t of importance in the grand scheme of things. The changes, the changes she did take note of, there was much difference between horses and wolves and she was learning them all first hand. Kitt was not simply an observer, an onlooker, this was all something that was directly occuring to her being. When the wind was still warm and forgiving, the fine hair that covered her was short, smooth, she remembered the way it felt against her once wet nose.

Now, she was entirely different, changed, her body hair was long; thick, coarse even. Internally she wondered what that might feel like now, from the outside, if she could touch or rub herself against the unruly coat.

The first time she had ate grass, what an adventure that had been, how silly she had felt doing it. Her stomach did not ache or roll, she had never had the need unless her gut was upset and now; now she lived off the very plant matter she might have collected in the past. Her meals had become different as Winter bore on, the grass crumbling and becoming brittle, yellow. It did not taste unpleasant, just different, less appealing truthfully, but it wasn’t bad; it was better than nothing. And,o, how she could eat now; what a large stomach to be filled compared to her usual one.

Sometimes, she does not have much else to do, other than dwell on what life was, and what life is now. Perhaps she is still rooted back in Ourania in many ways, just like the pale flowers had grown roots beneath their tangled vines on the edges of the Rift.

A slow sigh leaves her silvered lips, hanging in the absence of other sound, clinging and heavy in her melancholy memorandum. Then the sound of a bird tugs her away from the sorrow pit of pity, movement and a voice, so far they are not yet close enough to decipher. Concern takes her, twisting her pale equus neck, east, west, as her elegant head follows- golden eyes searching for silhouettes. Something familiar makes her skin prickle, familiar and not familiar at all; spectres haunted her sleep, could this be a waking dream?

Figures make the voices real, tangible things she might touch, though she does not reach out to the mare the draws closer, her speckled body and pitch colored feathers, both things Reckitt does not know. Am I alright?

Would it be wrong to say no, what if she admitted she wasn’t sure what alright meant anymore?

Corrdelia, Hāsta. Those names, they are things that she knows, remembers from before, and a pit settles in her stomach; a pitted rock that was porous. Kitt takes a step back, at first, allowing the titles to sink in, to settle, but her mind is racing ferociously, her thoughts jumbled and volatile.

A step forward this time, her voice finding her and she manages to speak, cherub tones that have not changed from one body to the next. “Corrdelia? Corrdelia Maude?” Kitt leans in, nostrils flaring, trying to scent the woman with her equine nose, it was lacking and undeniably futile, it wasn’t the same as the keen snout she once had.

“It’s Reckitt..” her name is broken as she tells it, tears roll silently against her pristine cheeks, happy and sad all at once.

@Corrdelia  oh you, you are the best <3


RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Corrdelia - 04-10-2019

She did not need her old magic to read this woman's aura. The white mare's head hung low and Corr could see that her light was dimmed. Why, she did not know, but perhaps she could find out and try to help. This was her true purpose, to help and heal others, and she would continue to do so for as long as she lived.

However, once Corr introduced herself, the situation changed drastically. The woman brightened up ever so slightly and somehow knew her last name before she had mentioned it. Then she introduced herself as Reckitt as if the two had met before. Reckitt's eyes looked on at her, glittering with a sense of hope as tears rolled down her face. Meaning no offense, Corr blinked a few times and stared at her quizzically.

"Y-yes, that is my full name. Have we… have we met before?" she asked, her tone wavering.

The last thing she wanted to do was make this mare more upset from not remembering. But the more she tried to remember, the more confused she felt. This woman did not look familiar at all and not even the name sparked a memory. Reckitt had tried to sniff her earlier, and Corr was doing the same. There was nothing to pin her to any part of Corr's life and this brought her own spirit down.

"Please, I don't want to make you more upset. I just… I'm not sure how we may have met before. Were you in Astreas?"

"Hāsta, help me out here… is there something I'm missing?" she asked her companion using their telepathy. It was rare for her to speak to the crow in this way, preferring to speak out loud. However, in this moment, it was necessary.

"I'm just as confused as you. We definitely haven't met her before, but whether or not she was around before I found you, I cannot say."

It seems they would have to wait for Reckitt to explain further and hopefully they could put the pieces together. It was already breaking Corr's heart to see her so sad.

@Reckitt omg the feels :'(



RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Reckitt - 04-10-2019

r e c k i t t
crash through the surface
where they can't hurt us
I
t’s Reckitt--


If she sobbed for days, she would still not have enough salt water to cleanse herself from the perverse revelation of what comes next. Those glassy eye, like a fogged up mirror, the steam making a reflection blurred, hazed. Eyes that did not see her, did not recognize her, they traced the form of her newness with no recollection.

It’s Reckitt--

Kitt felt like she had dove into the river, head first, bombarded with the bitter cold of icy Winter frigidity. The pale mare went cold, empty, her heart sank and rose up into her throat all at once. Her senses flooded, without the rampant water of the tides, she felt numb, forsaken. Something was so very wrong here, she was wrong, it was all wrong this life and yet she was here. Shaking all over, her nerves are pins and needles, anxious and malicious.

It’s Reckitt--

“W-we have,” she chokes, the words like knotted netting, she but a bird or a fish caught and imprisoned. Shackled in a body that was not hers, It’s Reckitt, but it is hers, she is Reckitt, this is me now, she tells herself. Those are thoughts she does not wish to hear, squinting her eyes shut painfully so, until the sun leaves orange orbs against the blackness of her lids.

“Not Asteas,” she shakes her head, confused, cheated. “You, y-you were there, I was there, you were my f-friend.” Kitt can not help the way she sobs, the way her words crack and change pitch, as if she does not know whether to shout, to whisper, to chant like a rhyme would send this awful nightmare away. If words are wind, why isn’t she wind as well? She was feeling more and more meaningless as the days went by, some erasable thing.

“Hāsta, your bird, she wasn’t alive then-there-Ourania..I d-don’t understand,” nothing makes sense, so she shivers, overrun with tremors, becoming unsteady and swaying once, perhaps twice.

“I thought, I h-hoped, we aren’t supposed to be like this!” Shouting, her voice is raised in her distress, eye wild and whites exposed, fear befalling her as her nostrils flare wide. “We’re wolves, we were wolves, I am a wolf,” its more than a statement, more than a truth that finds its way into the exposure of being spoken, being made corporeal and substantial in this moment.

It’s Reckitt--

A silver head hangs, drooping and defeated, she wished she could disappear now, like she once had there on the bone littered beaches. Kitt wanted to fade away, she wanted to become the nothing that she felt she was. “There’s no such thing as Elysium,” she whispers and in some ways, there isn’t, their Kingdom had not fleshed out, left unfinished, abandoned.

@Corrdelia | "speaks" | notes: 479
rallidae



RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Corrdelia - 04-20-2019

It appeared her attempt at being kind didn't work. The woman became even more distraught and practically shut down. It broke Corr's heart and she felt a wave of guilt wash over her.

"This one is crazy. I don't know what she's babbling about, but this may be one that we cannot help, Corr…"
"No." Her companion was wrong. She just met Reckitt and she wasn't going to give up on her yet. It was clear she was in need of a friend and Corr wasn't the type to abandon those in need.

The way the woman spoke of her, Hāsta and this other world made Corr curious. She was so sure of their friendship and, after all, how else could she have known her last name? She wasn't that famous. Although, the idea of Hāsta being there but not alive was an interesting concept. Had she been a spirit? Perhaps Reckitt was talking about a past life? Or was there really such a thing as alternate universes?

"No, alternate universes aren't real."
"You don't know that. I've had the visions. There is so much to this world that we do not understand."
"I understand it just fine- she's crazy."

Then Reckitt spoke of Wolf. Or rather, being a wolf. They had both been wolves. Corr's heart skipped a beat. Her spirit guide was Wolf.

This had to mean something. In nearly every reading she did, Wolf was there. He was her protector and teacher and appeared in her dreams. Wolf was a shapeshifter, the pathfinder, a symbol of shamanism. He was one of the guides that directed her towards shamanism in the first place. If her and Reckitt had been wolves in another life - or another world - it would make sense.

"How does that-" but Corr blocked Hāsta's telepathy. She didn't want to hear more of the bird's skepticism. While she appreciated her companion, at times, it would be best if the crow just trusted what she said.

"I believe you," the words came out soft and shaky at first, but something in Corr felt sure of this. "I'm sorry I don't recall, but I believe we were friends- are friends. Wolf is a mysterious one among the spirit guides. He is known to teach us lessons and also has the ability to shapeshift. I think… somehow we knew each other in another life, or another form. It's certainly not a coincidence. I see Wolf all the time in my readings, so it's all connected somehow. It has to be."

The thought came over her then- if Reckitt was saying they had been wolves and she was this torn up, perhaps she had just been a wolf recently? Maybe she had somehow shapeshifted way later than Corr but kept all of her memories. None of it made any reasonable sense, but there was a lot about magic that they didn't know or understand.

"I think Wolf brought you on this new path for a reason. Why, I'm not sure, but the fact that we're meeting again isn't a coincidence either," Corr reassured the woman, getting closer to her and offering a comforting smile. "I'm not too familiar with the Gods and Goddesses of Novus yet, but I do know that the ancient Horse spirit guide teaches inner strength and freedom. This might be a path we're meant to be on- to learn something. I know it seems hard right now, Reckitt, but we must trust the spirit guides. I believe it's all happening for a reason and everything will work out."

Hopefully Reckitt would be able to understand or at least stop being sad. Corrdelia desperately wanted to help her and be her friend, especially if they had been close before. The friendship seemed to have been important and she would take that seriously.

@Reckitt



RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Reckitt - 04-26-2019

r e c k i t t
crash through the surface
where they can't hurt us
E
lysium, her cheeks are already so wet, if there are more tears to be shed for the thought of her home; they are lost in the streams that stain her pale face. It would have been so exceptionally wonderful, she wonders if it still exists, on some plane of life elsewhere, something beyond. Kitt hopes it does, along with those she had befriended there, it would be too heavy a loss for them all to simply cease to exist.

Afterall, Corrdelia is here with her, right before her very eyes, reflecting the same pale stare back at her that she had when they were canine.

I believe you and Reckitt swiftly takes a breath, a hiccup following, staring intently at the curves of Corr’s new appearance. The dark fur she once sported that was now dappled and fading in tones of ash against her horse hair. Soft downy wings against her back, the color of blackest raven, but not the tips, those reflected the dapples pale shade of grey.

“It’s still you under there,” she tells her, though this body was different, this shape was as unfamiliar as her own, there were still key aspects of the dark wolf that had not been lost in her change. She wishes to press her cheek to the woman’s skin, to listen to the beat of a heart that was surely the same one as before, to match the rhythm of her breathing until she was once more calm. Until Reckitt was secure and comforted, but the pale horse does not know if she should, yet her whiskered chin stretches out to the dark hide of her companion.

Corr tells her it’s alright, that Wolf was her spirit guide, Kitt cocks her head to the side, confused but intently listening anyways.  She’s done this before, it feels so familiar, washing over her like a sense of deja vu. Perhaps Corrdelia didn’t remember her, did not recall Ourania, their family, but Reckitt remembered for the both of them. “This body is so strange to me,” she confesses as the other moves in, lending comfort, pieces of the way her new mind worked, Spirit guides, Gods of Novus. There was no knowledge of either for Kitt, she had never had a Spirit Guide herself, and the Gods of another world were surely lost on her.

There had been Gods in Ourania, but they were long dead.

For the ashen woman, there was only the Earth Mother that was constant, Mother Nature as some might say, at least she still had that. The plane upon which she walked was never changing, not really, it had become something she could rely on, even if she could not make peace with her own reflection.

“I’m happy you’re here with me,” was she, or was it Kitt that was here with her?

@Corrdelia | "speaks" | notes: 483..also i apologize for the wait, and idk what this post even is lol
rallidae



RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Corrdelia - 04-30-2019

And at last, Corrdelia breathed a sigh of relief. Reckitt had seemed to calm after everything Corr muttered on about, so she had done something right finally. It was hard to explain the desperation she now felt to be there for her new (or rather, old?) friend. Some would call her crazy (Hāsta already was!), but there was so much to this world that they did not know. Even she did not know it all, although she pretended that she did.

"It's still you under there."

The mare chuckled. "Why, of course it's me! Corrdelia Maude is a unique individual and there's no one else like me! Well, besides my wolf form I suppose? But that is still me too." Her mind wandered, wondering just how much alike the wolf was. What other forms might they have on other planes? It was a fascinating concept.

"You're both crazy."
"Oh hush now, you old bird! You wouldn't understand. Your brain is much smaller than ours. You're not good with abstract thinking!" she snapped at the crow, breaking out of their telepathy.
"Wow really, you're going to bring the size of my brain into this?" Hāsta fluffed her feathers and looked extremely offended, but Corr brushed it off. She would get over all this eventually.

Reckitt commented on how strange her equine body was while leaning into Corr for comfort. Although they were somewhat strangers, the closeness did not bother her and actually was quite comforting to her as well.

The mare looked around at her own body, taking in the curve of her hooves and the way her tail swatted back and forth. This form she was used to, at least on this plane, but she supposed if she switched right to being a wolf, she would feel very discombobulated.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it in time, dear. Baby foals stand up as newborns, but they certainly don't know how to walk right! But they keep trying and trying until they get it right, then they grow into their bodies. That's what you have to do, just in an adult body. So, just don't trip and you'll be good!" She nodded and smiled, seeming very happy with her advice. Next to her, Hāsta rolled her eyes.

This re-acquainted friendship made Corr very happy and it seemed to be doing the same to Reckitt. The last time she had felt this happy was when she was with her sister Briar back with Astreas. There was some nostalgia to the feeling and she wanted to take hold of it and never let it go.

A lightbulb went off in her head.

"Say, 'Kitt, why don't you join me in the Terrastella festivities tonight? That's where my court lives - the Dusk Court. They would be happy to have you. Apparently there are many fun things going on. It'll take your mind off of being a not-wolf!" Corr pulled away from the mare and her stance changed almost to that of an excited puppy. Now that she had the idea in her head, she really hoped the woman would say yes. Maybe Corr could show her all the great things about Novus and she wouldn't mind being here after all.

@Reckitt this is kind of all over the place but I love them so much <3


RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Reckitt - 05-03-2019

r e c k i t t
crash through the surface
where they can't hurt us
I
’m happy you’re here…

Not even that statement fully portrayed her gratitude, she isn’t sure she even knew words that could express such an elation. Instead she inhales deeply, then looks to Corrdelia with a soft smile, warm and heartfelt. Sometimes words couldn’t say what one felt, but actions, actions spoke when the mouth went still.

“Your wings,” she said, looking over the black down that her friend now sported, “If only Syrinx could see you now.” Syrinx had been graced with wings, back in another time, back at the other place, the plane of existence they both had left behind. Wings as delicate and vivid as a butterfly, wings that lifted her into the summer skies where she dazzled those below. Reckitt remembered it as though it were yesterday, it was the day they had all met, the afternoon they become friends.

Kitt smiles, while Corr speaks, her silken tail flicks lightly against her hocks, swaying absentmindedly. She didn’t even realize she was doing it, and did not know the purpose assuredly. Baby foals, there were not many in Ourania, not a single one she had seen herself, but she thought she may recognize an infant if she should see one. Much smaller she assumed, pups were decidedly miniatures of the pack, the same features, only little. Baby equus must be the same, right?

“That is easier said than done I’ve learned,” she gives a sheepish look to the dark mare, telling of her trials without going into detail. That look said it all.

Kitt turns her side gaze to Hāsta, the fact that the avian was living, well, that was unexpected. The Druid had never thought about what Corr’s companion might be like when she still moved and breathed, but she would not have expected the crow to be so wary of her. She seemed to be sizing her up, though she can’t be sure, but something about the way the bird moved and tossed her eyes said something wasn’t to be trusted.

She would have to show her that was not true, Kitt could be many things she supposed, but misleading was not one of them.

Terrastella

Another court she learns, Dusk to be exact, and she starts making a connection. Dawn, Dusk, did the people here praise the day, much the opposite as she had the Night? What did long-faces do at gatherings? Not hunt, she guessed, not feast, but if not, then what?

“I- Well I should be honored,” she decided, nodding her head in affirmation.

@Corrdelia | "speaks" | notes: 433- should we close it here and move to Dusk Court or?
rallidae



RE: United with my own loneness--[Corr] - Corrdelia - 05-06-2019

When Reckitt nodded and agreed to join Corr for the Court's festival, she didn't bother to hide her excitement. The mare jumped for joy, letting her wings stretch out and help her glide back down to the ground. She accidentally bumped Hāsta off her shoulder and she could hear the crow grumbling as she was forced into the air for a moment. She flapped her wings furiously before settling back down on Corr's shoulder again. The bird only glared at her, but didn't bother to say anything.

"Wonderful! You'll have so much fun, trust me. My Court is great, just you wait. They- well I'm not actually sure what they setup yet but I've been told it's fun! We'll find out when we get there." She began to walk forward, using her wing to gesture her new friend forward in the direction of Terrastella.

Hāsta took to the air again, letting out a mental sigh just for the sake of Corr's telepathic ears. Once again, the mare rolled her eyes. The bird didn't have to follow her everywhere, she gave her the choice, but she insisted on going every time. There really wasn't any room to complain.

"Behave yourself! I don't want you being rude to our new friend."
"That's all you, I'm all set. I don't want to associate with this one. I still think she's insane."

Her thoughts drifted back to Reckitt's comment on her wings and someone named Syrinx. "Now what about a Syrinx? You'll have to tell me all about them on our journey. I'd love to hear your stories! Tell me everything."

This was surely the start of a wonderful (interesting) friendship.

@Reckitt yeah I think this works for a closer! On to the Dusk Court :D