[ CLOSED♥ ] NOVUS rpg
[Judged] come alive - Printable Version

+- [ CLOSED♥ ] NOVUS rpg (https://novus-rpg.net)
+-- Forum: Realms (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Ruris (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=6)
+---- Forum: Archives (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=96)
+---- Thread: [Judged] come alive (/showthread.php?tid=3853)

Pages: 1 2


come alive - Morrighan - 07-14-2019

Fight Type: Battle
Prize: N/A
Contact Made: Yes

Character #1: @Morrighan
Bonded: N/A
Magic: Fire Manipulation
Armor: N/A
Weapons: N/A
Current Health: 10
Current Attack: 10
Current Experience: 16

Character #2: @Isra
Bonded: Fable, sea dragon
Magic: Transformation
Armor: N/A
Weapons: The Lunar Bow
Current Health: 40
Current Attack: 40
Current Experience: 77




float away, open wide
unafraid with open eyes

Morrighan felt entirely out of her element out here. She was used to her Court and nothing else as she rarely left the comfort of Denocte. Other than briefly venturing to the island, she preferred staying at home and not dealing with the trouble of other lands. However, she was told this was the place for training.

And so, here she was, almost through with her trek all the way up here to Bellum Steppe. She was to meet Isra here after exchanging letters (which in itself was a new concept; they didn't have birds or pens or letters back in Ourania). It felt odd asking another to train as it had been ages since she had to. Her soul was nearly a century old, but here she was mortal and her magic was weaker. Now was the time to change that and bring it back to its former glory.

Isra seemed like a worthwhile teacher and had made the offer not too long ago back in the markets. The queen had made buildings turn to marble, stone to glass, the ground to wood. She could still remember the world around them changing in the blink of an eye. The fire within her was hungry and begged to be set free to consume the wooden floor, but she could not let it. Not in the way she wanted to or the way she used to. She could make the largest blazes erupt from beneath her, hell, her whole body could be engulfed in flames and she felt unstoppable.

Again, Morrighan was only mortal here and she was starting from scratch. Even as she walked, she could feel her magic having a mind of its own and wanting to come out, but only a spark of embers came through. She snorted.

At last, a familiar figure stood up ahead and Morr changed her pace to a trot. Her hooves made prints in the ground from the burning heat within them.

"Isra," she said in greeting as she came up to the mare. "I'd like to take you up on your offer." Her expression showed determination and a hint of a smirk on her lips. While her magic might not be ready, Morrighan certainly was. They had been preparing for war with Raum, but nothing had happened yet and she was itching to battle, even if it was just for practice.

drawing by whiteliesart ; table code by katherine






Summary: Morrighan has arrived dun dun dunn

Attack Used: 0
Attack(s) Left: 2
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: N/A

Response Deadline: 7/21
Tags: @Isra, @Sid, @inkbone, @Sparrow, @nestle, @aimless



RE: come alive - Isra - 07-21-2019

Isra and her dark thoughts


Isra is waiting, and waiting, and waiting. But for the first time it doesn't feel like she's waiting for war, or for the fury growing in vines along her bones to rip through the surface of her. It only feels like she's waiting to figure out what will be left of her after the end of Raum. Or maybe she's only thinking about what will be left when the two stars growing into constellations of flesh and bone in her womb fall to earth.

Either way Isra is waiting beneath the shaded curl of her dragon's wing at the edge of the Steppe. A herd of elk is watching them warily from the distant thicket, and Isra wonders if it's Fable they're worried about or the magic in her veins whispering things like become and change at them like small tremors of the earth. She's trying not to think about them too much when Morrighan appears across the horizon.

Isra trots to meet her. The smile of her face almost waivers when she feels the way her skin stretches wrongly over her belly, or the way all her bones feel full of rust instead of marrow. She blinks and begs a little of her fury and fire to return.

It works.

The quiver and bow slung across her shoulder start to glow. Strange patterns of light move across the curl of neck when she pauses only long enough to make a move to brush their noses together. “I'm glad you did.” She says in a whisper too soft for a battlefield before she pulls away and starts to trot in a lazy dragon sized circle around Morrighan. Each step comes easier than the last and soon her body feels alive with adrenaline fulled by magic and the steady, cold pressure of moon-fire at her shoulder.

“Someone told me once that magic is like a sea waiting deep in the dark of us. First all we can see is the shine of it, like a glimmer of glass along the horizon.” Isra begins loudly. Each word echoes the soft thump of her hooves on the packed dirt. It sounds a little like a story begging to be a war, all violence and no wonder. She inhales as she draws the lunar bow and notches an arrow. The glow of it makes her eyes look like hooded, blue flames caught in the darkness of her face. “You have to go deeper, past the riptide, to find the belly of it. It should feel like you are suffocating” Isra gathers her steps, turns and tries (so very hard) to aim above the peak of Morrighan's hip.

Even now she laments against hurting things that she loves.

Isra exhales.“Try to burn it.”When she releases the arrow it whistles through the air like a falling star singing through the black space of night. It's not until the arrow is inches from Morrighan that Isra closes her eyes. The glow of the arrow winks out so that it is nothing more than black, flexible wood and a glass point rushing at Morrighan.

She opens her eyes, angles her body back to the larger circle, and continues to trot.


“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”









Summary: Isra is chilling beneath Fable's wing because the sun is kind of strong. She takes a moment to ponder all the ways in which she is a little lost and a little pregnant. When she see's Morrighan she leaves the shade and trots to meet her. After a brief pause, in which she fails to say 'hello' in words and instead tries to touch their noses together, she picks up another trot. After circling around Morrighan, and talking a bit about how magic lives in a body, she notches the lunar bow. It's glowing. Isra aims it above Morrighan's hip because she's terrified of hurting one of her court citizens. Just as it's about to reach Morrighan the glow of the arrow blinks out so it's only a plain wooden arrow. She pulls away and continues to trot a circle.

Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 1
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: The lunar bow was used

Response Deadline: 7/24/19
Tags: @Morrighan, @Sid, @inkbone, @Sparrow, @nestle, @aimless



RE: come alive - Morrighan - 07-22-2019

float away, open wide
unafraid with open eyes

The smile on her queen's face and the way she brushed her nose against Morrighan's sent the mare in for a loop. This sort of friendly affection was not something she was used to or had expected to happen at all. Her ears pinned back but more out of surprise than aggression. It reminded her of the time Moira's companion did something similar, only then she had snapped at the feline. As bold as Morrighan tended to be, she wouldn't dare do so towards Isra. Although, if this was going to become a regular thing, she might have to say something.

The looming figure of her dragon was also something that made her feel slightly uneasy. At the island, his presence with Isra had been spectacular. Now, his presence felt different, like a pair of eyes burning into her, waiting for her to do something. Novus-ians and their companions were something else.

The grullo mare's heart began to race and she could feel the adrenaline pulsing inside her. Isra paced around her and began to instruct, getting closer and closer. Her two-colored eyes fixed on the queen and she prepared herself to move. The need to battle was like a song inside her and the magic within her twisted around even more.

The sight of the bow being drawn made Morrighan's eyes narrow. She was not used to their weapons here either, but it seemed an unfair advantage. All she had was her magic, whereas Isra could use this object. Why not lay some real blows on her? Maybe that was to come; she had no idea of the queen's training tactics.

"Try to burn it."

The arrow whistled through the air aiming towards the edge of Morrighan's hip. She did not flinch, not yet, but focused her eyes and her magic on the arrow speeding forward. It suddenly turned to wood and glass at the last second and, of course, only a spark of embers fizzled out nowhere near the weapon. The arrow scraped her hip and she winced, feeling more frustrated than ever.

"What the fuck!" she grumbled, glaring at Isra. "How am I supposed to do anything when all I can get are just damn embers?"

Isra had said to go deeper, find "the belly of it", well, maybe she needed to do that in a different way. She ran towards the queen, attempting to aim a bite at Isra's own hip in hopes that her fire will come out that way. Maybe her frustration mixed with her adrenaline could get her magic flowing more strongly.

drawing by whiteliesart ; table code by katherine






Summary: The arrow scrapes Morrighan's hip as she's unable to get her fire to cooperate and ignite the arrow into flame. She's pissed. Instead, she aims an attack at Isra, going for a bite to her hip and hoping her fire will come through her breath (but it won't since we decided her fire will work at the very end… hopefully this move is okay!)

Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 1
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: N/A

Response Deadline: 7/25/19 (or as long as needed <3)
Tags: @Isra, @Sid, @inkbone, @Sparrow, @nestle, @aimless



RE: come alive - Isra - 07-26-2019

Isra and the learning of violence


Battle does not come as easy as she expected it to come. Her bones move too much like a tired sea to be methodical or truly dangerous. Even her horn is still more like a crown than a weapon. All this time she's been learning to feel like vengeance. A drumbeat has been pushing along her blood more than a heartbeat. Each morning she wakes with the taste of blood on her tongue and an ache in her heart that keeps saying you are not done, not yet.

Isra has been waiting for war and she still stumbles on the flat ground when she watches blood rise from the wound her arrow has made. Another fissure blooms between all the other cracks on her heart when she thinks of how that arrow point must have felt. She shivers and tells herself that she must go on.

She always must go on, and on, and on. So she does.

But she's still looking at that blooming blood and it's drowning out everything else. It's making her slow-- slow enough that she hardly realizes that Morrighan has turned on her with teeth and fury instead of magic. Isra pulls back and the lash of teeth find only the muscle of her neck. The pain makes her inhale sharply. It's been so long since that dark alley. She's forgotten how much teeth can hurt.

This time, even though her hooves are still unsteady on the ground (there is too much pain and worry bogging her down), it's her magic that rises to her defense. It roars in her blood. Only the quiet word  Fable offers her from where he is watching, steady, tethers it down to something like a wolf instead of a shark.

When magic starts to leak out from her, she's no longer trotting. She's only watching Morrighan with concern instead of anger. Frustration is something she can understand. It makes monsters of them all. Isra smiles. Between them the dirt starts turning to brambles both thorny and flowerless. They spread like oil, and soon it's a sea of thorns that is separating Morrighan from Isra. As far as attacks go it's a terrible one. But--

It's obvious that the brambles are dry and just begging for a flame.

“Even embers can be a dangerous weapon if you're clever enough.” Isra steps back even though her eyes are blazing a challenge (and her neck is still aching). “So be clever. Sink deeper.” She inhales and holds her breath, hoping that it's only worry making her blood flow like a tattered thread through her body.


“We are each a tiny moon.”









Summary: The second Isra notices that her arrow has found skin it makes her feel guilty. She stumbles because of it and starts to think that maybe she's not as ready for war as she thought. The stumble makes her slow to notice that Morrighan is attacking. It's only at the last minute that she realizes and pulls back just quick enough that the bite land on her neck instead of hip (her instincts are too keep everything away from the kids). It hurts more than she was expecting.  She stops moving. Isra turns the dirt to brambles as an attack, that is just awful as far as attacks go, and waits for Morrighan to find more of her magic.

Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: Her magic

Response Deadline: 7/30/19 (or whenever)
Tags: @Morrighan, @Sid, @inkbone, @Sparrow, @nestle, @aimless



RE: come alive - Morrighan - 07-28-2019

float away, open wide
unafraid with open eyes

At the last second, Isra moved and instead of her hip, Morrighan took a nip at the queen's neck. While doing so, she tried to will her magic to come through so that she might lash out with a burn, but again, it did not work. Her anger was bubbling now and her nostrils flared. There was a time where she was much better at this, but now she looked inexperienced. It was pathetic.

She pulled away from Isra with fury (more at herself than the other woman) and watched as she transformed the ground beneath them once again. The dirt became brambles and Morrighan noticed the glint of their thorns. They grew and grew and grew until the two mares were separated from each other. Isra challenged her to be clever and that's just what she would have to do. She wasn't going to give up just yet and she was determined to make her magic cooperate.

As she stared at the brambles in front of her, the fire within her felt hungry. It wanted to burn, burn, burn and so did she. Back in the day, she could engulf an entire field into flame with the blink of an eye. Maybe at least with the right amount of dry brush, she could do the same.

Morrighan closed her eyes for a moment and then lunged forward at the brambles, her front hooves slamming down into the ground. She didn't care that the thorns dug into her legs and ignored the pain as blood trickled down. All she focused on was letting the fire out and making it do what she wanted.

And it happened.

At her feet, embers sparked again, but this time so did a small flame. As she took a step back, one bramble caught fire and then another and another until the fire grew larger and hotter. The flames danced in Morrighan's eyes as she looked on with pride and her own hunger. She finally fucking did it.

The fire continued to spread until she could no longer see Isra's form clearly on the other side. For a second, she felt an emotion that was rare to her - panic.

"Isra!" she called out, hoping the queen had an idea now that they had started a massive wildfire in the middle of a field.

drawing by whiteliesart ; table code by katherine






Summary: Finally, Morrighan sets the brambles beneath them ablaze with her magic and the fire gets larger with every bramble it consumes. As the fire grows, it makes its way closer to Isra and has grown too large for Morrighan to see her on the other side.

Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: Active magic

Response Deadline: 7/31/19 (or whenever)
Tags: @Isra, @Sid, @inkbone, @Sparrow, @nestle, @aimless



RE: come alive - Isra - 08-04-2019

Isra and the clever flame


At first it is only her beast of magic chanting in her belly-- yes, yes, yes. It's watching like it sometimes does. Isra is too lost in the weight of all that darkness swirling like a sea inside her to notice how the brambles cut and feast on blood when Morrighan slashes her front legs into it. All she can see is the way the anger is rippling over the warrior.

The air is salted with smoke and dead wood. It burns when she swallows it down. The taste of it, all fury and nothing of hope, makes her back away from the brambles. Part of her wants to back away from the demon in her belly that is still chanting yes, yes, yes over and over again as it keeps begging for a flame.

Then suddenly there is a spark. Isra's magic goes silent with a sigh, and it's only her left chanting in her own skin. No. No. No. The words echo in her bones as the fire spreads. She imagines that she can see teeth in the way the flames keep eating, and eating, and eating.

Isra does not  pause to wonder why her magic is silent, or where it went, before she's lurching back from the field of fire. There is nothing graceful in the way she's moving. There is too much smoke for her lungs to be anything but frantic. Isra is all unicorn on the burning mountain now, all fear and survival. It feels like another one of her nightmares.

In the distance Fable takes to the sky. He's still telling her, steady, steady, be steady, and that he's still the only massive dragon left in this world. And even though he's telling Isra that she will not burn while there is life left in his body, she cannot help the way her heart keeps beating like a hummingbird. It's not until she's running over around the fire towards Morrighan in a gait that is more feral than civilized that her heart cools in her chest. “I'm ok.”, she calls out the reassurance when she hears her name rise above the roar of the fire.

Isra doesn't stop running until she's back at Morrighan's side. Only then does she smile as she tries to wipe the brief terror (memory born) from her wide eyes. “You did it.” Around them the fires is still blazing, smoke it still making her eyes burn, and yet she can't help the way it's mostly amazement she feels.

Denocte is more than just dreamers now.

“a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.”









Summary: Even though she knew to expect the fire, the sheer power of it as it spreads takes Isra by surprise. After a brief memory makes her pause, she scrambles back from the approaching inferno before it can burn her. She's not graceful about it at all Fable takes to the sky, maybe thinking that putting out the fire might be a solid plan since Isra seems useless with both fear and pride over her friends discovery of her magic. Isra continues to run around the fire until she can see Morrighan again and let her friend know that she is unharmed. She smiles, because she's still proud, and it makes her sort of forget that the fire is still burning behind her with no signs of slowing down (maybe she made too many brambles).

Attack Used: 0
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 1
Block(s) Left: 0
Item(s) Used: nothing but her legs

Response Deadline: 7/30/19 (or whenever)
Tags: @Morrighan, @Sid, @inkbone, @Sparrow, @nestle, @aimless



RE: come alive - Morrighan - 08-07-2019

float away, open wide
unafraid with open eyes

The flames only continued to grow in front of them, consuming everything in its path. The brambles were gone by now and it was starting to get at the steppe itself. Morrighan felt torn as she looked on; the sight of the fire and the scorching heat made her feel alive again. It had been so long since she felt like this and she wanted to make it last forever. At the same time, Isra might've been in danger and that made her want the flames to slow down. But that was not how fire worked. It burned and burned and burned until something strong enough blocked its path.

Isra's dragon flew overhead but did not do anything else. Thankfully, his motion was followed by the queen emerging from around the fire. She rushed over to the grullo mare's side, calling out that she was okay on her way over. Strangely enough, a rush of relief washed over Morr and she had to refrain from looking too happy. It didn't feel right.

The smoke began to burn her eyes, but Morrighan ignored it. All she could focus on were the words out of Isra's mouth - "You did it". Before she hadn't been thinking about it, just that she had possibly brought her queen to her death. Now she had a second to look over at her work. As messy and destructive as it was, she had done that. It was as if she found herself again and it was as beautiful as the flames itself.

"I… did," she managed to say, attempting to blink the smoke away. It was filling her lungs, but it didn't matter. Her fire finally burned something significant. No longer were they pathetic spitting embers - her magic could destroy again. It sent an adrenaline rush through her veins and brought her back to the day of the battle. Everything had been on fire then and she was able to destroy everything in her path much like these flames.

The flap of Fable's wings overhead diverted her attention and she then turned back to Isra. "Can he possibly put this out? Or should we just… walk away like nothing happened?" Morrighan felt herself wanting to laugh, but she held it in. Really, the idea of them walking away with the fire raging behind them was very amusing - and tempting.

drawing by whiteliesart ; table code by katherine






Summary: Morrighan does nothing but struggle with many emotions such as pyromania and reluctantly caring for Isra's wellbeing, then contemplates just keeping Novus on fire ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Attack Used: 0
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: N/A

Response Deadline: None? Since the spar is over
Tags: @Isra, @Sid, @inkbone, @Sparrow, @nestle, @aimless



RE: come alive - Isra - 08-20-2019

Isra who starts a race



There is smoke pooling in her nose and scratching at the back of her throat like wings each time she inhales. Isra shouldn't feel like laughing but she does. Perhaps if she wasn't always feeling so reckless now it would be different. There is still a war drumming low and heavy in her chest and her magic roaring like a tide in her blood. So when she laughs it's not quite glass bell soft.

If the sea could laugh it would sound like Isra.

Fable swoops low as a hawk. The wind starts to smell a little like brine. “Fable will put it out, but he's terribly inaccurate so we should hurry home.” Isra can't help the way her eyes keep aching to look upward to her dragon as heavy drops of salt-water start to fall across her back. Something terrible and awful inside her welcomes those drops of salt and cool-water. Something craves it. Isra tries to bury that part of her, and each time is harder than the last.

“I'll race you home.” And then without warning Isra kicks her heels up into a canter and turns back towards their city by the sea.

Fable waits until they are gone to practice. The elk and the deer do not come to watch, nothing does, and he tries not to let it make him feel like a monster.  

“that's a good love; one that burns and flies,”




@Morrighan, just a terrible closer so the steppe doesn't burn down.


RE: come alive - Morrighan - 08-21-2019

Isra's laugh is contagious and Morrighan can't hold her own in any longer. There is something childlike about this feeling and it brings her back to her younger years of mischief. She truly was a little shit and not many liked her, including her parents. The two of them setting the steppe on fire today was not too far from her previous antics.

Isra reassures her that Fable would put out the fire, but he is apparently inaccurate. So, they actually could have just permanently destroyed the steppe. What a day this had turned out and she was enjoying every minute of it.

Then, the sovereign challenges Morr to a race and she raises her brow. She finds herself feeling a newfound admiration for the woman. She wasn't one to keep friendships, but maybe this was something special to hold onto. With a smile, she canters off after her and, for once, embraces the feeling of happiness.

@Isra a (very precious) closer <3 thank you for a wonderful spar!


RE: come alive - sid - 07-10-2020

MORRIGHAN vs ISRA


@morrighan - Total: 68/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity: 16/30, Realism: 23/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity: 8/15, Realism:  10/15
WRITING: Creativity: 3/5, Realism: 4/5, Mechanics: 4/5
BEGINNING STATS: Exp 16, Health 10, Attack 10

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST (intro)
    • A good intro post that sets both the tone and setting for the fight. Nothing glaring leapt out at me, it only makes me curious as to how the fight will go.

  • SECOND POST
    • Defensive:  I felt like this part fell a little short - I imagined Morrighan would do more than wince if she felt like she was attacked unfairly? Not a true dodge so I won’t spend time on it, just raised a bit of a question in me.
    • Offensive: I wish this was a bit longer; I know it’s a straight forward attack but there’s no flare to it. Since it’s a battle post I’d expect the actual attack to take up a little more time and space. That being said I like Morr’s reasoning in it, and the way you’ve set it up has me hoping to see more magic in the coming posts!
    • Mechanics: I feel like the writing is almost there, it’s tough to get into at first but by the end it’s drawing me in, catching my interest - but I feel like it needs an extra push still? It’s good writing and I can’t find much to pick apart without being obsessive, I just wish there was more to draw me in!
    • Notes: Ahh this post was so very true to Morrighan’s character. Her being unable to burn the arrow just yet really makes me eager to see how the rest of the fight plays out.

  • THIRD POST
    • Defensive:  N/A.
    • Offensive: I love this as an attack; I love that her fire became uncontrollable, that it fed off of her rage. I really don’t have anything negative to say about this.
    • Mechanics: Nothing stuck out to me, just a very good post to read!
    • Notes: This post drew me in much better; I could feel Morrighan’s frustration and was honestly silently cheering her on. And the slow buildup to the fire really had me hooked and leaning into the post.

  • FOURTH AND FIFTH POSTS (closers)
    • Combining both of these into one note. I felt these final posts created a very good ending; I really liked seeing Morrighan’s development throughout these, she’s dealing with both the fire and her own thoughts. Considering they have a whole fire to put out still I’m glad it didn’t just end with Morr walking away from it in one post. Overall these both added to the story and were both fun to read through. Good job!







@isra - Total: 81/100
OFFENSIVE: Creativity: 28/30, Realism:  22/25
DEFENSIVE: Creativity:  8/15, Realism:  11/15
WRITING: Creativity:  4/5, Realism:  4/5, Mechanics:  4/5
BEGINNING STATS: Exp 77, Health 40, Attack 40

Creativity: originality, imagination, and attention to detail.
Realism: mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your health and attack
Overall writing: creativity, realism, and writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.)

  • FIRST POST
    • Defensive:  N/A.
    • Offensive: I love that this is a training sort of move; it has me wondering how it will lead to a brawl if she’s firing at a distance, but it was definitely one of the most interesting attacks I’ve seen in battles.
    • Mechanics: A clear read, nothing superfluous that made me question its purpose, it all played a part in the greater story.
    • Notes: The tempo of the post picks up throughout it; it started out a little slow, but by the end I was really getting into it and ready for the fight. I love that this is more of a teaching moment than a spar (which makes sense considering how outmatched they are.)

  • SECOND POST
    • Defensive:  N/A
    • Offensive: I really love this. I was expecting israge and fury and destruction — and it’s not any of those things. It’s holding back and teaching and an attack without being a true attack, and it makes sense for her to be relying on her magic and weapons than going head to head with Morr.
    • Mechanics: Again a clean read, nothing that really made me pause or slow me down.
    • Notes: This is such an unconventional take on a fight, it’s really refreshing actually. I love seeing Isra in this role.

  • THIRD POST
    • Defensive:  I mean how else do you defend yourself against a fire haha. I love her reaction to the flames, a very solid post.
    • Offensive: N/A
    • Mechanics: A couple odd word choices, a few sentences i had to reread to get the idea behind them. Nothing huge, but it was a little choppier.
    • Notes: The post tells a story all on its own (while still fitting into the overall story), but it can stand up on its own and I love it for that.

  • FOURTH POST (closer)
    • A good closing post, short and to the point. I love that you included both Isra’s thoughts and a bit of Fable’s. I can see how Isra has evolved in this fight and how acting like a mentor has affected her; this post was a neat close to that.






Closing Remarks: I wanted to apologize for how insanely late this judgement was - after Isra was deactivated it fell off the radar, and then when I learned she would be coming back I held off on the judging again. EXP for this battle will be double, and each participant will be receiving a bonus +500 signos.