![[ CLOSED♥ ] NOVUS rpg](https://novus-rpg.net/images/logo.png "[ CLOSED♥ ] NOVUS rpg"){kind=logo}
+- [ CLOSED♥ ] NOVUS rpg (https://novus-rpg.net)
+-- Forum: Realms (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Denocte (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=17)
+---- Forum: The Night Markets (https://novus-rpg.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=104)
+---- Thread: [P] {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? (/showthread.php?tid=4307)
Pages:
1
2
{Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Polar North - 11-24-2019
Look forward toward the future...
There you shall find peace.
Polar North snorted as she lifted her head and gazed about her new home. She had found this realm after so much wandering. After so many days alone. She had grown up with just the nomads for company... for family. A seething rage burrowed through her heart as she thought about the pod that had abandoned her so many months ago. Twenty months... She had lost her family, her sister, half of her tail... She had been a mere four months old when she was left to die on the ice.
Just the thought of the cold and fear sent a shiver down her spine, making her fluke shudder. Her tail ached, making her pause in her meandering to look back at the scarred and ragged flesh. Phantom pains and the feeling of the seeping blood made her chew on the side of her cheek and she curled so that she could rub the fully healed half of her tail. She had a prosthetic that she sometimes wore... but today was not that day.
Pol had grown into an elegant young Vapor Treader. She stood 16 hands and was built like one of the desert horses. Her coat was the color of the softest dove down, pearlescent and pale. Tribal markings painted her coat and were her favorite feature. Twin sets of lavender eyes took in those around her as she wandered the fall festival that she had arrived just in time to see. She saw candles and went to investigate, curiosity erasing the rage and sorrow that had tangled in her heart.
A pair of candles caught her attention. One was slightly larger than the other and there was a shrine of sea items. The final thing that struck her was the single scale pressed into the wax. They looked like her own... Flaring her nostrils, she took in the scent that she had blocked from her memory so many months ago. The scent of the one Treader that she had believed would not abandon her... The one that had betrayed her and left her on the ice. "Bel..." Pol whipped her head around, seeking that being. Searching for her sister. She saw a massive black, gold, and white stallion with flaming hooves and shook her head. Bel would never be around a flaming giant. But there was the fluke. It couldnt be...
Turning and following, she got close enough to see Bel fully. "Below Zero!" She called, her voice a mixture of pain and fury at the sight of the mare. At the sight of her beloved sister. At the sight of the one that that had betrayed her and left her to die. Pol wasnt sure why she had bothered to seek her out... Not sure if she was ready to even see her again. But the determined filly was not going to let the chance disappear without at least trying to speak to her. Pol understood why... She knew that she had been a liability and could have cost the rest of the pod their lives... But her own sister hadn't even fought for her, had left without a backwards glance... Without a goodbye. The memories threatened her composure and made tears swim in her eyes as she waited to see if Bel would even look at her.
@Below Zero
Notes: Figured the candles were a good enough place to throw her XD
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Below Zero - 12-06-2019
B e l o w Z e r o
the cold never bothered me anyway
Bel was glad for Sol's company on what she should have known would not be an easy mourning to do. Sure the candles and the pedestal of the items from the sea to mark her mother and sister had been relaxing to build, if not painful - but nothing compared to the gaping hole of her chest that grew larger with each painful stab of regret, and self-inflicted blame. She had betrayed and left her sister for dead on the ice. She had abandoned her to the elements, and no words of release from that guilt from anyone else would shake those beliefs from her. She was at fault. She was to blame. She would forever hold that blame.
Sol had urged her away, talking of the warmth of the fires as if that would ease the problem, would make her feel better. She had allowed him to direct her, half sheltering from the cold breeze through his much larger body that could serve as a wind protector. Her own vapors shifted warmer in temperature to keep the aquatic-equine from getting to cold when a voice from the post shouted her name.Below Zero! The full length of her name, spoken in a voice that had matured from what she knew in her memory. Bel froze, even her tail had gone still as her limbs seemed to lock up. Her eyes grew wide and her breath left her in a frightened pant of fear, and denial. No. Not her voice. Not her. Not here.
The voice had been filled with pain, with fury; and Bel's eyes suddenly squeezed shut, and a shiver raised down her spine, her dorsal fin suddenly folding to press flat against her back, her tail curling as if to hug her back legs - making her smaller, as if to hide from the spirit that wanted to rain hell-fire down on her - for surely that was what would be awaiting her. What else was she due for betraying her sister and leaving her to die. She may not have given the death sentence, but she might as well have fed her to the sharks herself. Bel was terrified, terrified to turn around, terrified to face the spectre that likely would drag her back to Davy's Locker at any moment. Not that she didn't deserve it. "Polar . . . ." The name fell from her muzzle, her tone soft with regret, heavy with disbelief.
She hesitated before glancing slowly over her shoulder, seeing the adult in Polar's design staring her down and Bel's breath caught again, the shaking starting up again. No, no, no, no . . . . Her breath was even, bordering on a panic attack as she spun to face the ghost more directly, almost tripping over her hooves and stumbling. The fire in the distance licked color along their coats that were meant to mimic the colors of water, but Bel felt no heat. Her blood had turned to ice as she stared at the spirit - for surely this wass Pol's spirit come to make her suffer for breaking her promise. "N-no . . . you . . . you're . . . n-no."
Bel's voice was broken, halting, even as she stumbled a half step back, tears welling in her eyes, shaking her head violently as if that would disrupt the vision in front of her. But it didn't. Pol still stood there, still stood there staring her down. And then Bel saw the small signs of life, the breath, the tears in the corner of her own eyes, and her breath caught again, "Y-your dead . . . T-they made me l-leave you. You . . . N-no. Y-you can't be h-here. Y-you c-can't." Bel had side stepped, a step closer to the dark stallion, his flaming hooves sizzling as the flames came in contact with the water vapors her own heels produced. She tried to focus on that sound, to use it to ground herself in the moment, to keep the shock from growing worse. But her breath was still heavy - still uneven. Her legs were still shaking, her eyes were dotting with black. "Y-you're here . . . f-from the b-beyond aren't y-you. Y-you're here to . . . . p-punish me . . . for m-my sins. B-because I killed y-you. Y-you're here . . . . b-because I killed you." The last words were said in a breathy rush even as Bel hit her knees, her head tucking close against her chest, breath still panting, panic attack increasing, and being buried under the weight of her guilt and regret and pain.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." The words suddenly feel from her muzzle like a breathless, weak mantra, as if she'd said them so many time before, in so many different settings, so many different moonless nights, before the candles from before. The tears from before were back again, streaming down from her eyes, wetting her cheek with the saline solution as she kept her knees folded under her. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." It had been her fault. She had killed her sister, and now her sister was here to condemn her for it . . . and she didn't deserve any less. "I'm so sorry."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS WAS TO WRITE T.T
Sol had urged her away, talking of the warmth of the fires as if that would ease the problem, would make her feel better. She had allowed him to direct her, half sheltering from the cold breeze through his much larger body that could serve as a wind protector. Her own vapors shifted warmer in temperature to keep the aquatic-equine from getting to cold when a voice from the post shouted her name.
The voice had been filled with pain, with fury; and Bel's eyes suddenly squeezed shut, and a shiver raised down her spine, her dorsal fin suddenly folding to press flat against her back, her tail curling as if to hug her back legs - making her smaller, as if to hide from the spirit that wanted to rain hell-fire down on her - for surely that was what would be awaiting her. What else was she due for betraying her sister and leaving her to die. She may not have given the death sentence, but she might as well have fed her to the sharks herself. Bel was terrified, terrified to turn around, terrified to face the spectre that likely would drag her back to Davy's Locker at any moment. Not that she didn't deserve it. "Polar . . . ." The name fell from her muzzle, her tone soft with regret, heavy with disbelief.
She hesitated before glancing slowly over her shoulder, seeing the adult in Polar's design staring her down and Bel's breath caught again, the shaking starting up again. No, no, no, no . . . . Her breath was even, bordering on a panic attack as she spun to face the ghost more directly, almost tripping over her hooves and stumbling. The fire in the distance licked color along their coats that were meant to mimic the colors of water, but Bel felt no heat. Her blood had turned to ice as she stared at the spirit - for surely this wass Pol's spirit come to make her suffer for breaking her promise. "N-no . . . you . . . you're . . . n-no."
Bel's voice was broken, halting, even as she stumbled a half step back, tears welling in her eyes, shaking her head violently as if that would disrupt the vision in front of her. But it didn't. Pol still stood there, still stood there staring her down. And then Bel saw the small signs of life, the breath, the tears in the corner of her own eyes, and her breath caught again, "Y-your dead . . . T-they made me l-leave you. You . . . N-no. Y-you can't be h-here. Y-you c-can't." Bel had side stepped, a step closer to the dark stallion, his flaming hooves sizzling as the flames came in contact with the water vapors her own heels produced. She tried to focus on that sound, to use it to ground herself in the moment, to keep the shock from growing worse. But her breath was still heavy - still uneven. Her legs were still shaking, her eyes were dotting with black. "Y-you're here . . . f-from the b-beyond aren't y-you. Y-you're here to . . . . p-punish me . . . for m-my sins. B-because I killed y-you. Y-you're here . . . . b-because I killed you." The last words were said in a breathy rush even as Bel hit her knees, her head tucking close against her chest, breath still panting, panic attack increasing, and being buried under the weight of her guilt and regret and pain.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." The words suddenly feel from her muzzle like a breathless, weak mantra, as if she'd said them so many time before, in so many different settings, so many different moonless nights, before the candles from before. The tears from before were back again, streaming down from her eyes, wetting her cheek with the saline solution as she kept her knees folded under her. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." It had been her fault. She had killed her sister, and now her sister was here to condemn her for it . . . and she didn't deserve any less. "I'm so sorry."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS WAS TO WRITE T.T
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Polar North - 12-06-2019
Look forward toward the future...
There you shall find peace.
"Polar . . . ." Pol listened to the name escape her sister's lips, watched Bel seem to shrink into herself and hide under the wing of the massive stallion beside her. "N-no . . . you . . . you're . . . n-no." Pol flicked an ear and lifted her head as she stared at Bel. The mare that she had once known seemed to be a shadow of herself as the massive stallion beside her turned with her and kept his wing over her protectively. An internal monologue was playing through her head as she watched Below Zero with skeptical eyes. Why would she look so afraid to see her? Did she hate the filly that she had left to die? The thought ripped at her heart and she felt tears slide down her cheeks as she fought to keep standing proudly.
"Y-your dead . . . T-they made me l-leave you. You . . . N-no. Y-you can't be h-here. Y-you c-can't. Y-you're here . . . f-from the b-beyond aren't y-you. Y-you're here to . . . . p-punish me . . . for m-my sins. B-because I killed y-you. Y-you're here . . . . b-because I killed you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." The stuttering, panicked words slid through her, almost making no sense as she fought through the fog of rejection that was threatening to overwhelm her. The dark stallion stared at her with eyes of solid gold. He was frowning between the similarly built mares, the realization that she was Bel's sister taking a hysterical amount of time to connect. Then he stared at her with mouth dropped and nuzzled Bel.
"Your boyfriend has the sense to realize that I am alive... I never died. You left me on the ice, but never bothered check back to see if I survived." She spat, emotional turmoil coloring her voice and making her over dramatic. "I was rescued by a band of nomads..." She began then cut off. Clearly the mare before her didnt care what had happened to her. She just cared that Pol was supposed to be dead. The thought speared through her like an icy spear, chipping away at the icy mask that she was struggling to maintain. Pol didnt really blame Bel for leaving her. That was all Ice Shard and their father. But with the reaction that she was getting, Pol had a hard time not blaming her older sister at that point.
"Why should I bother to explain what happened after the pod disappeared into the sea? Would you even care?" She asked, her voice cracking as more tears slipped through her mask. A small part of her had been so excited to see her sister, to finally have her back or at least have closure. Did Below Zero really not want her anymore? Had she hardened like their sire and decided that Pol was not worth the time or effort to care for?
"Speech"
@Below Zero
Notes: omg such a drama queen!
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Below Zero - 12-07-2019
B e l o w Z e r o
the cold never bothered me anyway
Shock. Pain. Horror. So many emotions seemed to swirl around the young Treader - though perhaps not for the reasons her little sister might believe. It wasn't horror or alarm that her sister was alive but the expectation that her deeds, her actions of the past had caught up to her via the hands of fate and now it was time for her to be dragged to hell. For surely this was her sister's spirit here to damn her for what she had done. And so Bel had quivered, shrinking back. A large and powerful wing suddenly surrounded her and Bel was immediately relieved by the presence of her friend even as she struggled at the sight of what her sister must have looked like alive. Bel was beginning to spiral though, dragged down the path of fear and denial and disbelief - afraid for it to really be Pol, afraid for it to not be her. She didn't know what too say, what to do. She was spiraling to the point she didn't even notice the large male's nuzzle.
Her sister's words barely reached her, half of them seeming to be ignored for the sake of those six words,I am alive... I never died. Still she flinched when accused of leaving her on the ice, never checking back. Bel visibly recoiled from the spatted, emotional dagger-like words her eyes wide, horrified, shocked, distraught. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. That wasn't what it was supposed to be. That wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She did go back to check. She paused briefly where they had abandoned her behind, when she ran from the pod. She hadn't been there. She hadn't been there. SHE HADN'T BEEN THERE! Bel's breath was rapid, in and out, in and out, the breaths quick, rapid, even as her entire body seemed to quiver, seemed to struggle to accept what her sister had said. She hadn't been there. She had checked. She had checked. She hadn't been there. She had never assumed, never imagined that would mean she was alive elsewhere, she had assumed death had taken her, her body spoilt by the predators that hunted the area. She hadn't been there.
She barely heard the words through the sudden water that was rushing loudly through her ears,rescued . . . nomads . . . why . . . bother to explain . . . would you . . . care . . . . Bel's breath was in terrified pants as her knees had buckled beneath her, tears streaking down her cheeks, the salty trails criss crossing down the planes and angles of her scaled jaw from both sets of eyes. Her sister . . . was alive . . . and judging by the anger, the spitting, biting remarks, the coldness . . . . Bel always knew she was to blame, but seeing her sister clearly place just as much blame on her, so much anger and resentment . . . . The tears never stopped, her body shaking, "I never . . . I never stopped . . . caring." Her words whispered quietly through the air between she and her sister, "I never . . . stopped . . ." Her head bowed, muzzle touching close to her chest, "It was my fault . . . I left you behind . . . I abandoned you . . . . It's my fault. It's all my fault." Her body shook, her words broken, spoken between rapid breaths as her eyes closed, fin lowering flat against her back. "It's all my fault . . . I thought I had . . .
"I thought I had killed you."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: T.T
Her sister's words barely reached her, half of them seeming to be ignored for the sake of those six words,
She barely heard the words through the sudden water that was rushing loudly through her ears,
"I thought I had killed you."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: T.T
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Polar North - 12-09-2019
Look forward toward the future...
There you shall find peace.
Pol watched her sister as she seemed to shake apart. A huge part of her heart was crumbling at the sight of her beloved sister and her pain, while another was struggling to stay strong in the face of her own turmoil. The massive stallion beside Bel was glaring daggers at the young mare, his eyes as fiery as his hooves as he sought to comfort his dear friend. Hmmm.. Perhaps she hadnt been wrong at labeling him her mate... He was protective enough and clearly did not like the pain that Bel was going through. Had to give Bel credit... he was much more handsome than that obnoxious Ice Shard.
"I never . . . I never stopped . . . caring. I never . . . stopped . . . It was my fault . . . I left you behind . . . I abandoned you . . . . It's my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault . . . I thought I had . . . I thought I had killed you." Pol flicked an ear again as she stared at her sister. With a sigh, the filly dropped her head and shook it, looking back up with her lavender eyes and trying to catch Bel's gaze. "Stop. I dont blame you. Not really. I blame Ice Shard and our father. I watched them force you to leave. I know that you didnt have any other choice. Yes, I was angry, and hurt... but I dont place the blame on you. I have blamed myself enough for what happened. Can you calm down before your mate decides to kill me like his flaming hooves and furious eyes keep threatening?" She grumbled the last bit, shooting glares back at the black pegasus with cold to match the glaciers of the north.
"I am sorry..." Pol murmured as she took a step back. The fury dissolved and left her feeling a new sort of emotional turmoil. She regretted her words, regretted seeking out her sister as she had departed. Guilt raged around her pain and sorrow, making her heart feel like it was caught in a hurricane of emotions. Turning her head away, she wiped away the tears that had been streaming down her face and tried to find composure. It was hard to remember that she was only two years old. She had lived a lifetime in those years and had been forced to grow up and mature too fast. But she didnt blame Below Zero. Not at all.
"I will go... I didnt mean to ruin your night. I apologize..." She murmured, her voice soft and broken.
@Below Zero
Notes: oh my heart. This thread is killing me!
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Below Zero - 02-09-2020
B e l o w Z e r o
the cold never bothered me anyway
There were so many thoughts coursing through Bel's head, so many moments of confusion and pain at the sight of her sister raising from the grave (metaphorically) how was she alive, how could she be here, how was it possible. It was only through the strength of Sol at her side that kept the older treader from collapsing and clinging to her baby sister as if Polar was no more than a teddy bear and she'd woken from a nightmare afraid. She struggled to get out the words she wanted, need to express - to explain, to apologize. How many apologizes was ever enough - it didn't feel like enough even now.
The guilt she had carried for so long was crunching her heart into a vice, waiting for her sister to deliver the final blow with the knife when Polar suddenly sighed, and tried to catch her eyes. Bel hesitated before cyan eyes meet lavender, her expression a mixture of pain, hesitation and underlining hope. The command in the first word had her frilled ears dropping and pinning back in worry and fear. This was the part where she was verbally flayed - when she got her just desserts, no? Where her sister would stomp her heart and . . . . dissolve her of blame?
Bel had snapped back at those words, as if unable to believe it, staring at her sister in uncertainty and shock, a touch of hesitation, telling her that she'd seen, she'd known . . . she'd been forced from Polar's side, that she didn't blame her. The remark of Sol had her jolting back with a shocked blink of her eyes, glancing first to his flaming hooves, and then up to his icy glare. She blinks a second time before landing a gentle thump of the flat of her fin against his hip, with a silent shake of her head. She was grateful for his defense of her, but things might be calming now, "Not my mate. Best friend." The words were soft, slightly stuttered to as she tried to take her sister's advice to calm down. Her erratic heart was still all over the place but at least it didn't seem to be about to be ripped out yet.
The apology had her gaze turning back to her sister, shocking Bel to the core. Sorry? What did Polar have to be sorry - why? She shouldn't. She'd been a baby - she'd been hurt and abandoned. She should never have to say . . . . . Bel was moving even as her sister started to say she would leave, apologizing again. Her body almost crashed into her sister as her neck twined around Polar's pressing her sister close to her chest, just as she had done when Polar was a tiny foal and able to fit more securely against her. Her chest heaved silent, breathing heavily, "Don't go. Please. Don't go." Her eyes were squeezed shut, and only now, with the touch of her sister's cool hide and familiar scent did the last part of Bel's pain start to shift away, to soothe and relax a touch. Her sister was back, the why and how and what now could wait. Right now, she just didn't want to let go yet.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: T.T
The guilt she had carried for so long was crunching her heart into a vice, waiting for her sister to deliver the final blow with the knife when Polar suddenly sighed, and tried to catch her eyes. Bel hesitated before cyan eyes meet lavender, her expression a mixture of pain, hesitation and underlining hope. The command in the first word had her frilled ears dropping and pinning back in worry and fear. This was the part where she was verbally flayed - when she got her just desserts, no? Where her sister would stomp her heart and . . . . dissolve her of blame?
Bel had snapped back at those words, as if unable to believe it, staring at her sister in uncertainty and shock, a touch of hesitation, telling her that she'd seen, she'd known . . . she'd been forced from Polar's side, that she didn't blame her. The remark of Sol had her jolting back with a shocked blink of her eyes, glancing first to his flaming hooves, and then up to his icy glare. She blinks a second time before landing a gentle thump of the flat of her fin against his hip, with a silent shake of her head. She was grateful for his defense of her, but things might be calming now, "Not my mate. Best friend." The words were soft, slightly stuttered to as she tried to take her sister's advice to calm down. Her erratic heart was still all over the place but at least it didn't seem to be about to be ripped out yet.
The apology had her gaze turning back to her sister, shocking Bel to the core. Sorry? What did Polar have to be sorry - why? She shouldn't. She'd been a baby - she'd been hurt and abandoned. She should never have to say . . . . . Bel was moving even as her sister started to say she would leave, apologizing again. Her body almost crashed into her sister as her neck twined around Polar's pressing her sister close to her chest, just as she had done when Polar was a tiny foal and able to fit more securely against her. Her chest heaved silent, breathing heavily, "Don't go. Please. Don't go." Her eyes were squeezed shut, and only now, with the touch of her sister's cool hide and familiar scent did the last part of Bel's pain start to shift away, to soothe and relax a touch. Her sister was back, the why and how and what now could wait. Right now, she just didn't want to let go yet.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: T.T
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Polar North - 02-09-2020
Look forward toward the future...
There you shall find peace.
"Not my mate. Best friend." Pol flicked an ear and watched the stallion close down the emotions that were roiling on his face. Even his eyes, filled with molten energy, seemed to harden. "Uh huh... If you say so..." Pol drawled as she watched the interplay between the two. There was more than just friendship in his motions, the protective stance with his wings sheltering her, the wariness regarding the world around them and what may come to attack her.
"Don't go. Please. Don't go." The touch of Bel's cool skin was like a bolt of lightning through her heart. The familiar scent of the sister that she had loved more than anything. Pol felt like her entire body was going to shake apart from the force of her trembling. The young mare's jaws locked tight against the torrent of words that were fighting their way to the surface, tears streaming down her cheeks. Polar North had refused to cry since the initial shock of being abandoned, after the nomads had frowned upon her tears and pain. Fighting so hard to try to control the emotions, she closed her eyes and took deep breaths, not noticing that she was leaning more and more into the embrace.
"Bella..." She whispered, her jaws finally unlocking as she inhaled the scent that had been her entire world as a pup. "I was so scared. I was alone on that ice, praying that you would come back. The scent of the blood called sharks to where I was... I could see them circling under me through thin spots in the ice. A few times, they even tried to break the ice from beneath me. I knew I was going to die... I was so afraid to close my eyes, afraid to relax the tension in my body. The sounds of hooves on the ice made me jump to my own and I was confronted with the larger body of a stallion. The nomads took me, healed me. Their medic cared to an extent. But I wanted to go home." The words were escaping in a torrent, like fueled by a massive current.
"And I did... I went home... I got close, but Ice Shard stopped me." The remembered confrontation ran through her head as she paused for breath. "You should be dead... Your precious sister is gone and your father believes you dead. Go away and stay away." "Ice Shard said you were gone... I thought that meant that you... and father didnt want to see me. I was alone in the world, no one in the world to turn to. So I started to walk. After trying to go home, I refused to go back into the deeps. I am so terrified of sharks. I cannot even handle the idea of one. I have been keeping to the land as much as possible since. I did save another aquatic being. A stallion. He and I traveled together for a time, before he went back to his shiver. I have spent so much time alone, thinking of the past... I am so sorry, Bella. So very sorry. You were forced to make a terrible decision. I dont blame you. After I thought about it enough, I stopped feeling so angry toward you. I cant blame you for what happened. I missed you so badly that my heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds." The words finally stopped coming and she closed her eyes against the words that she was terrified of hearing. She didnt want to hear that Bel had not cared about what she had went through. That she was not whole, therefore would not matter in terms of their species. That Bel would never want to see her again... So many sleepless nights thinking of her sister had led to a deep rooted terror of being rejected if they ever did cross paths again, in this life or the next.
@Below Zero
Notes: -clutches breaking heart-
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Below Zero - 02-09-2020
B e l o w Z e r o
the cold never bothered me anyway
Bel chose to gloss over the accusation of a deeper relationship between her and Sol with a shrug and explination - whether her sister believed her or not was another story. Bel's belief in their relationship was strong, less because there was no attraction: and more because she was not in any way ready for a romantic entanglement - at least not right now. Her mind didn't seem wired towards it just yet, to carefree and eager to see the world, and to meet new people. There was time for romance later - right now she wanted to focus on her sister and her return.
She'd felt a desperate light heat beneath her fluke as her sister made to leave. It had spurred her forward with a heavy heart of fear that should Polar take off, she might never see her again, that this time good by could be forever. Her body collided with her sisters with more force than intended, but the true strength lay in the firm embrace she pulled Polar towards her for. She could feel her sister quivering, her body quaking against her own, and Bel firmed herself, letting herself be the strong and steady one for her sister this time, even as she pressed her face more firmly into her sister's shoulder, afraid to loosen her hold least Polar disappear again.
The familiar nickname almost had Bel recoiling, having not heard it in so many years, her nickname sung on her sister's muzzle, caressing the air between them. She looked towards the little pup now grown up as she finally began to talk, her words squeezing Bel's heart more firmly than before. Her eyes shut when her sister spoke of sharks circle from below the ice, and of the hooves from those that came to rescue her - of wanting to go home . . . . but . . . Shard. Bel's face twisted in a mixture of anger and despair at the mention of the stallion who had once been her closest friend. He had once been a huge part of her world, and now it was his actions, spurred by bitterness; that had separated the sisters and had Bel leaving the Pod forever.
Her sister spoke of returning, telling her that she was gone . . . and what Pol had thought, and of her meeting another to travel with, how sorry she was, how she didn't blame her, she wasn't angry, she . . . had missed her. Below Zero pulled her sister in closer as she let her own breath even, her body relax to encourage her sister to do the same, "I've missed you too, Polar. More than I can say." She whispered against her sister's dorsal, her own words explaining her disappearance from the pod soon after, "I couldn't bare it . . . staying with the Pod. I left two days after we. . . . walked away from you. I had tried to go back to where I had last seen you . . . but . . . I couldn't get my barrings. I don't remember how long I swam for, desperate to find you if I could . . . ." She didn't go into detail, of no food or water, just endless searching.
"I've been in Novus for a while now, however, making home in the Dusk Courts, when Asterion was still the triton of those waters . . . er, land. " She added after a momennt, both to help fill in the time gap as well as to let her sister know where she stayed now. She paused then before stepping back to look at her sister, before pressing her forehead to Polar's, "I'm so sorry Polar, for everything that happened after that fateful attack . . . But I promise, I will never abandon you again. If youu so much as scream my name, I will come running. I lost you once, I won't have it happen again." She couldn't bare it if it did.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: T.T
She'd felt a desperate light heat beneath her fluke as her sister made to leave. It had spurred her forward with a heavy heart of fear that should Polar take off, she might never see her again, that this time good by could be forever. Her body collided with her sisters with more force than intended, but the true strength lay in the firm embrace she pulled Polar towards her for. She could feel her sister quivering, her body quaking against her own, and Bel firmed herself, letting herself be the strong and steady one for her sister this time, even as she pressed her face more firmly into her sister's shoulder, afraid to loosen her hold least Polar disappear again.
The familiar nickname almost had Bel recoiling, having not heard it in so many years, her nickname sung on her sister's muzzle, caressing the air between them. She looked towards the little pup now grown up as she finally began to talk, her words squeezing Bel's heart more firmly than before. Her eyes shut when her sister spoke of sharks circle from below the ice, and of the hooves from those that came to rescue her - of wanting to go home . . . . but . . . Shard. Bel's face twisted in a mixture of anger and despair at the mention of the stallion who had once been her closest friend. He had once been a huge part of her world, and now it was his actions, spurred by bitterness; that had separated the sisters and had Bel leaving the Pod forever.
Her sister spoke of returning, telling her that she was gone . . . and what Pol had thought, and of her meeting another to travel with, how sorry she was, how she didn't blame her, she wasn't angry, she . . . had missed her. Below Zero pulled her sister in closer as she let her own breath even, her body relax to encourage her sister to do the same, "I've missed you too, Polar. More than I can say." She whispered against her sister's dorsal, her own words explaining her disappearance from the pod soon after, "I couldn't bare it . . . staying with the Pod. I left two days after we. . . . walked away from you. I had tried to go back to where I had last seen you . . . but . . . I couldn't get my barrings. I don't remember how long I swam for, desperate to find you if I could . . . ." She didn't go into detail, of no food or water, just endless searching.
"I've been in Novus for a while now, however, making home in the Dusk Courts, when Asterion was still the triton of those waters . . . er, land. " She added after a momennt, both to help fill in the time gap as well as to let her sister know where she stayed now. She paused then before stepping back to look at her sister, before pressing her forehead to Polar's, "I'm so sorry Polar, for everything that happened after that fateful attack . . . But I promise, I will never abandon you again. If youu so much as scream my name, I will come running. I lost you once, I won't have it happen again." She couldn't bare it if it did.
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: T.T
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Polar North - 02-12-2020
Look Forward... Trust Yourself... Find Peace
"I've missed you too, Polar. More than I can say. I couldn't bare it . . . staying with the Pod. I left two days after we. . . . walked away from you. I had tried to go back to where I had last seen you . . . but . . . I couldn't get my barrings. I don't remember how long I swam for, desperate to find you if I could . . . ." Pol shot her a wobbly smile and sighed. "Can we just scrap it up as the entire thing sucked? The whole situation was like swimming into a school of jellyfish. But we have found each other... and got the whale shark sized emotions off of our flukes. Not to say we forget it... because I dont think we could forget what has made us who we are in terms of how we had to grow and change through the years. But at least move forward with less turmoil." She couldnt believe what came out of her mouth... But at the same time, she knew that she couldnt hold onto the pain and emotions forever and trying to do so would make things worse. She had grown up with the pain, the rejection, the desire to find home and Bel. "Please, Bella? I think we need to both let go of the pain and heal." There she went, showing the medic that had grown in the place of pain and chaos.
"I've been in Novus for a while now, however, making home in the Dusk Courts, when Asterion was still the triton of those waters . . . er, land. I'm so sorry Polar, for everything that happened after that fateful attack . . . But I promise, I will never abandon you again. If you so much as scream my name, I will come running. I lost you once, I won't have it happen again." Pol could feel the emotion surging from Bel and had to step back to look at her. It was at that point that she really realized that she and Bel were much more similarly built. At 2 years old, Pol was standing close to 15 hands, nearly even with Bel. With that being noted, Pol was very leggy and slender, where Bel was stocky and fully filled out to look like a mature mare. Shaking away the comparisons that had jumped to the forefront of the filly's head, she met her sister's blue eyes with her own double set of lavender. "I am so glad we found each other again, Bella. I couldnt imagine living my life without a chance of seeing you. That alone nearly made me give up many times. I feel like a huge weight is gone... Like an octopus finally released my body from its crushing grip." She laughed softly, eyes still watery with emotion and her mangled tail flicking behind her randomly. Being around the fires and warmth made her tail stop aching and it was unusual enough that she had to really think about it for a moment.
@Below Zero
Notes: <3
RE: {Fall} Is Every Goodbye a True Goodbye? - Below Zero - 02-16-2020
B e l o w Z e r o
the cold never bothered me anyway
The emotional meeting was wearing on the poor elder Treader mare. She had been leaning more and more against the strength Sol had to offer, keeping herself standing so she wouldn't fall in weakness before the sheer amount of emotional stress being placed upon her back. But as things smoothed out, as her sister and she talked it out further, and realized both were afraid of the same thing, the strength she drew from the stallion at her side had spurred her into action to embrace the youth before her, her heart panging for the time lost with her sister. She had missed over a year and a half of her sister's maturing, a year and a half in which she wasn't there to explain the changes of biology - to teach her about the vapors and their uses. To teach her how to sing through the waves, and how to use that talent to echo-locate in the dark. To show her the calls to bring dolphins for a game to play. To teach her the ocean isn't scary when you had a Pod at your back. All the things her mother had taught her, and should have taught Polar. Instead, Pol had been abandoned, never learning all those tricks. Never learning what it meant to be Pod.
There was so much that she should have done when their mother had left for Davy that she never got the chance to do. Bel nodded at her sister's words, returning the shaking smile. The entire situation had sucked, it had "Forget swimming into a school of jellyfish, it was crossing territories of a shark. We'll be okay now though, we have each other again, and we can keep moving forward together now. No matter what, you'll have my support in anything you need, anything you do. Look at me, getting as sappy as a damselfish." Bel shook her head with a soft laugh before hugging her sister all the tighter, "Of course we can swim forward from here, there's only open ocean ahead of us, no troubles on the surf." She reassured, before telling the younger Treader about the Novus she called home, promising that no distance would separate.
Polar stepped back at them, and Bel looked towards her little sister, meeting her sister's brilliant lavender eyes - eyes that Bel just now noticed where the same shade as mother, even if her eyes were watery and mother had never cried. Bel nuzzled her sister's cheek gently, "Well, I'm going nowhere fast. Novus is my home, and as long as you're here, neither of us will ever be alone." They would have each other - and any other friends they made along the way. "I never realized before . . . you have mama's eyes . . . ." She added softly after a moment, an almost sad smile touching her muzzle, "I'm sorry there's so much you don't know, even about yourself and Treaders . . . so much you were never taught, you never learned." As if on instinct, the vapors that steamed from Bel's back shifted in temperature, growing warmer and thicker to drape over them almost like humidity, an offering of comfort from the thicker water vapors. "Things mama should have taught you . . . that I should have taken over when she left us." Bel shook her head, clearing the thoughts before brushing her muzzle lightly against her sister's forehead, "It's getting late, however, and I must return to Dusk before it gets too late. We'll meet up again soon, alright. If you need me, sing for me, and I'll come." She promised with a warm smile, before her gaze turned up to Sol, and gave him a weak smile, still emotionally drained from the experience, "You'll walk me home, won't you Sol?" She asked with a hopeful expression, not yet ready to be alone after everything that had happened today, and trusting him to get her home even if she breaks apart on the way there. "Get some sleep, sister; it has been a long swim through rough waters for us . . . I will see you soon. I promise."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: A closer on Bel's side, the poor emotional exhaustion they both must be feeling! x.x
There was so much that she should have done when their mother had left for Davy that she never got the chance to do. Bel nodded at her sister's words, returning the shaking smile. The entire situation had sucked, it had "Forget swimming into a school of jellyfish, it was crossing territories of a shark. We'll be okay now though, we have each other again, and we can keep moving forward together now. No matter what, you'll have my support in anything you need, anything you do. Look at me, getting as sappy as a damselfish." Bel shook her head with a soft laugh before hugging her sister all the tighter, "Of course we can swim forward from here, there's only open ocean ahead of us, no troubles on the surf." She reassured, before telling the younger Treader about the Novus she called home, promising that no distance would separate.
Polar stepped back at them, and Bel looked towards her little sister, meeting her sister's brilliant lavender eyes - eyes that Bel just now noticed where the same shade as mother, even if her eyes were watery and mother had never cried. Bel nuzzled her sister's cheek gently, "Well, I'm going nowhere fast. Novus is my home, and as long as you're here, neither of us will ever be alone." They would have each other - and any other friends they made along the way. "I never realized before . . . you have mama's eyes . . . ." She added softly after a moment, an almost sad smile touching her muzzle, "I'm sorry there's so much you don't know, even about yourself and Treaders . . . so much you were never taught, you never learned." As if on instinct, the vapors that steamed from Bel's back shifted in temperature, growing warmer and thicker to drape over them almost like humidity, an offering of comfort from the thicker water vapors. "Things mama should have taught you . . . that I should have taken over when she left us." Bel shook her head, clearing the thoughts before brushing her muzzle lightly against her sister's forehead, "It's getting late, however, and I must return to Dusk before it gets too late. We'll meet up again soon, alright. If you need me, sing for me, and I'll come." She promised with a warm smile, before her gaze turned up to Sol, and gave him a weak smile, still emotionally drained from the experience, "You'll walk me home, won't you Sol?" She asked with a hopeful expression, not yet ready to be alone after everything that had happened today, and trusting him to get her home even if she breaks apart on the way there. "Get some sleep, sister; it has been a long swim through rough waters for us . . . I will see you soon. I promise."
"Bel"
Yukime
@Polar North
Notes:: A closer on Bel's side, the poor emotional exhaustion they both must be feeling! x.x