As the sun dips below the horizon, the markets are coming alive with the real festivities of the evening. Yet again, they are hosting another seasonal festival, except this time there are games and more performances involved. It seems some of it is coming to a close to make way for the bigger acts on the stage tonight, but there is only one Morrighan is keeping her eye out for.

It's felt like ages have gone by since she had last been with Al'Zahra. So much has happened since too- becoming Regent, somehow regaining immortality.

But then, there is something else. Something she hasn't told a soul, not even Antiope. Not even Bram. At first, she tried to convince herself she was imagining things, but it became very clear after how sick she kept feeling.

Is she ready to be a mother? To start a family? Probably not, but this is the reality she's living now. Just as she's taken on the responsibility of Regent and looking over the Court, she'll do the same with a new life. Somehow.

In truth, she doesn't feel confident doing it alone. Her eyes scan the crowd with a little more urgency now. The butterflies that typically flutter in her chest are even worse today. It's a mixture of her eagerness to see Zahra again, but also to tell her the news. How will she react? It's hard to tell with her sometimes with that wildness in her eyes. She is like the very fire she breathes to life with her magic.

When Morrighan finally does see her, it's like the breath is knocked out of her once again. It appears she may have just finished her dance and this may be as good of a time as any. The Regent trots forward with a lump in her throat, but hides her nerves with the familiar comfort of flames.

"Zahra," she says, although it's more of a sigh as she reaches out to caress her neck. She closes her eyes and breathes in the familiar scent of smoke and spices, always complimenting the smell of ash and charcoal that follows her.

There are many things she wants to say to her. She wants to ask where she's been and why she's been away so long. Her instincts always kick in and she wants to be protective and selfish. For now, she tries to keep this locked away. There would be time to ask those questions later.

"I-" she stops, wanting to finish her sentence with "I've missed you". Everything in her has. Her body has craved her touch, the fire has ached to steal her warmth and get a taste for her skin again. Can she say this?

Morrighan clears her throat and looks around for a break in the crowd. "Walk with me?"

She wants to tell her many things, but not when so many ears may be listening.

“Speaking.”

When she receives Al'Zahra's touch again, it's like the world around them burns away to ash. It's just the two of them in the heat of it and Morrighan wants to lose herself again. She remembers being vulnerable and giving in to the dance and the fire. She wants to drink it all in like a sweet wine, but this is not the time. As much as everything in her is begging while Zahra fiercely tugs on her mane to bring Morr closer- she cannot.

There is a pit in her stomach. These are not butterflies.

The crowd breaks for them, as if the fire between them is as strong as the fire she wields with her mind. For once, the feeling of many curious eyes on her is uncomfortable and makes her more sick. But they walk further away from it and she starts to feel better. Only a little bit though because there is still news to share.

News she never thought she'd ever be telling anyone, ever. She still hasn't figured out how she feels about it herself. It's more responsibility than she had ever imagined for her life.

When she's sure they are alone, Morrighan forces herself to break away from Al'Zahra's side to face her. For a moment, she doesn't want to look in the mare's eyes. Is she ashamed? She's definitely nervous and these are not emotions she's proud to show. It's like this woman has torn down the last of the walls she's spent ages putting up and there's not a way to put them back.

Morr has never been one to beat around the bush. She will not be that way to her lover either. "I'm pregnant," she confesses, her voice still hushed just in case there's someone in the corners spying on them. "With our child." It's news that should make her excited, but she doesn't know. Maybe she won't know until she sees the expression on Al'Zahra's face change. Maybe she's hoping the woman will be happy for her - for them.

It's a dream she never thought she'd have, but it's all swirling inside her now, waiting to plummet down, down, down. She's never felt so sick in her life.

Now we can be a family, now we can be together, she wants to say, but she doesn't. There's only ever been wanting when the two look at each other, but now Morr only looks at the woman with hope in her eyes.

“Speaking.”

Maybe Morr didn't exactly know what she was hoping for. Al'Zahra has always been a wild soul. Her movements are reckless both in dance and lust. There had always been a danger present and maybe that was destined to be their downfall.

Because what she sees in the woman's expression is disappointment. She sees no joy from the thought of a child being born or from them possibly becoming a family. All of those hopes and wishes are washed away the moment the woman says "oh."

Part of her wants to be angry. She wants to scream- maybe to Al'Zahra or the sky as if the universe is to blame. But then she feels it all disappear as the mare's lips brush against her cheek. It's a reassurance it seems, but Morrighan can't help but wonder if it's a fake gesture. Eyes don't lie.

Al'Zahra asks if she's chosen a name and it breaks Morr from the swirling mess of her thoughts. It takes her off guard for a moment and she has to think. Several names had come across her mind, but she wasn't too sure which would be the right one. The last thing she had planned was to become a mother, after all.

"I was thinking Maeve if they're a girl," she manages to say, her voice wavering. She quickly glances at Al'Zahra to see what she thinks. "After my grandmother." There are other names she's thought of, but none have stuck quite like her grandmother's. Since Morrighan isn't typically sentimental, she's not sure how she feels.

Being at her home of Ourania felt like ages ago when it had been years in reality. She doesn't think of her family much anymore, but once and a while a memory of her grandmother slips through. The woman managed to bring out the softer side of Morrighan, but their time together had been too short.

However, the child's name isn't as important to the Regent right now. Not only is she terrified of carrying a child and being responsible in that way, she has to raise them too. While the Court would likely be supportive (or she'd make them), she'd prefer if Al'Zahra could stay in the picture.

There is a knot in her stomach as Morr kisses her back. "Will you stay with me?" Maybe she knows already what the answer is. Even as she pulls away, the words feel heavy on her heart. "We can raise them together here." Morr's gaze turns to the walls around them from the buildings of the markets. In the distance, there is a low buzz of the normal traffic. It feels like it's worlds away from this alleyway and not just around the corner.

She wants to hope that Al'Zahra with such a wild soul could settle down. Morr would spoil her with as many jewels and fine wine- at least as much as she could buy. Maybe she'd spoil the kid too.

It starts to feel like a pipe dream.

“Speaking.”

"No."

It's a simple word, yet it manages to shatter Morrighan's heart into a million pieces. She's not able to acknowledge that Al'Zahra liked the name she picked out. All her mind can hone in on is "no" and it repeats over and over.

"Not even for you."

She feels like she's been poisoned. Like the air has been sucked out of her lungs out of selfishness and she can't get it back. She let her walls down for her, pushed aside all of her anxiety to make way for trust and what she thought was love.

This isn't love.

Not even when Al'Zahra says that she'd come back. It doesn't help. Morrighan is still hung up on "no, not even for you." She feels worthless, like this entire time she had just been a pawn in some sick joke of a game.

She notices how Al'Zahra is tiptoeing away, like she wants to escape from something. From her.

Morr's fire ignites immediately. It starts at the ground, then curls around her legs, rising higher and higher until it appears her whole body is engulfed in flames. She can feel her energy draining almost immediately, but she doesn't care.

Now she just wants to know the truth.

"Did you ever love me?"

She had been so vulnerable. Oh, how stupid she was.

"Because I loved you."

Stupid, foolish girl.

“Speaking.”

Al'Zahra is laughing.

It cuts into her like a blade through her skin. She can feel the blood pouring out of her, just as she had poured her feelings like some lovestruck teenager. What a mistake, what a fool.

The woman circles her and maybe this is when Morrighan realizes it. Before Al'Zahra has even said anything or called her out. The fire rages and can just taste the edges of the woman's skin that's so close yet so far.

Love. It's a word that holds a bitter taste. Perhaps it'll be forever ingrained this way in Morr's mind after this. Is she incapable of love? Is she undeserving of it? Is this to be her fate? She knew some who were in love or claimed to be. That's what she thought this was, this fire and passion between them. There had been a connection, a spark, before. What happened?

The woman's teeth are bared like a wolf and Morr doesn't know what else to do but let the fire lash out further. She doesn't know how to bare her teeth like them, although she wants to. She badly wants to.

She wants to say… she wants to say… something. Anything. There are no words to describe who Al'Zahra is except an elusive dark temptress, but that isn't enough. She doesn't know who the woman truly is. Maybe she never knew. She never thought about it, only the fire and lust. That's all that ever seemed to matter when they were together, but now she sees that's all it had been. None of it was genuine. It was not love and could never be.

Beneath her fire, her rage, Morrighan is entirely broken.

She snuffs out the flames and there is nothing but smoke (and regret) in the air. She pushes past Al'Zahra, not daring to look her in the eyes again. Maybe she never will again.

She stops before she rounds the corner back into the markets, but keeps her head down. "I'll send an owl when the kid's born, if you care at all," she mutters. She has half a mind to take full custody of the kid, but it's still Al'Zahra's too whether she likes it or not.

There is nothing left to say and nothing more she feels like thinking about, so she disappears into the crowd. Her head is pounding, but she goes back to the castle instead of the bar. Oh, how she would love to drown her sorrows in alcohol right now.

“Speaking.”