some women fear the fire
some simply become it

I don't really like sober me. The world feels like too much and my thoughts are too much otherwise. I'm forced to face all the demons I'm trying so hard to stuff away somewhere. It seems to have become more than just wanting to forget Al'Zahra.

Of course, the last time I wanted to let go, it didn't end so well. Antiope caught me at the tavern and I guess I was yelling at a couple. I don't remember that part much, but I imagine they were doing something stupid anyway. But because of all that, I'm not exactly welcome there anymore.

So I decide to go anyway. I know there are many eyes on me and whisperings about what happened last, but I don't give a shit. The doors swing shut behind me and I make my way to the bar. When the bartender looks up at me, his expression nearly makes me burst out laughing. He seems to be trembling and is no longer sure what to do. Instead of asking what I want, I watch him run out back. He's gone for several minutes before he comes back with another, more burly man who doesn't look amused at all. Well, the feeling is mutual.

"You know you shouldn't be here, Morrighan," the man says, acting as if he regrets turning my business away.

"Yeah, and?" I ask, trying my best to keep my fire at bay. "Just give me one drink and I'll be on my way." It's very hard not to threaten him with a fireball, but I keep it to myself. I really don't feel like having another Antiope lecture.

The man takes a while to respond and is just staring at me, like he's having an argument in his head. Finally, he sighs and pours me a drink in the smallest glass imaginable. I'm sure it barely has any alcohol in it. He doesn't say anything when he passes it to me, just a look. I know he knows I'm the Regent and he shouldn't be telling me what to do. I'm glad he made the right choice.

"Idiot," I mutter as he walks away. I take a sip of the drink and it tastes absolutely awful. Still, I'll try to make it last because I just don't feel like going out into the real world right now. Maybe they all don't like it, but this place became my safe haven for a while and I'd rather that not be taken away from me.

"Speaking."