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+---- Thread: [Judged] battlesong— (/showthread.php?tid=547)
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battlesong— - Aislinn - 08-02-2017
Battle Type: Battle.
Prize: Bragging rights! XD
Character #1: @Aislinn
Bonded: N/A.
Magic: N/A.
Armor: N/A.
Weapons: N/A.
Character #2: @Rostislav
Bonded: Yes, a hellhound!
Magic: N/A.
Armor: Yes!
Weapons: N/A.
Prize: Bragging rights! XD
Character #1: @Aislinn
Bonded: N/A.
Magic: N/A.
Armor: N/A.
Weapons: N/A.
Character #2: @Rostislav
Bonded: Yes, a hellhound!
Magic: N/A.
Armor: Yes!
Weapons: N/A.
A I S L I N N
some people are born with tornadoes in their lives, but constellations in their eyes.
other people are born with stars at their feet,
but their souls are lost at sea.
- nikita gill
The glowing sphere of fire fell away in the clouds, slowly drifting off into a slumber and paving way for the moon. As the sun slipped into his slumber, the air steadily dropped to a refreshing cool chill. The sounds of the night rumbled awake; a winged wraith dancing in the growing shadows. Slowly, she stepped, gracefully silent and purposeful in her movements.
A gleaming blue orb looked out from the dark, glowing in the dying sunlight. Velvet lips parted and breathed in the night air. The tinkle of metal on metal grew louder as an inky mass moved beneath the trees, toeing the tree line before making an entrance. One ivory leg stepped out from the shadows. Then another. Another. Until her entire body was no longer concealed; all grace and strength and lithe features. The necklace of coins and feathers clinked like wind chimes in the breeze. She stopped, the gypsy woman so so still.. a delicate hoof poised, her great feathery wings unfurling slowly from her sides. The woman stood there, like the frozen dark before a star dies; the hush of breath moments before a violent and brilliant supernova is born it's wake. Only a moment passed; a millisecond and then the creature burst skyward in a flurry of wings and pure muscle.
Suspended in the sweet night air, she drifted, pumping her wings against the currents in the air. The world fell away beneath her, and suddenly she was swimming in the stars. Denocte was sleeping beneath her as she flew, her trajectory guiding her to the neutral lands. Too soon, she spied the rocky plateau where the dirt had tasted the blood of those from all the courts. She spiraled down down down, until she hovered a meter above the ground. Crouching her legs, the woman landed, her joints groaning with the absorption of her fall. Sweat glistened on her ebony coat, hot breath blowing through her nostrils. Slowly, she collected herself and stood, raising her chin defiantly to whoever lurked in the shadows and beyond. A warrior with battle in her blood, her heart thrumming like the drums of war.
She was ready.
Here ya go :3
Thanks for sparring with my girl <3
Let the games begin!
RE: battlesong— - Rostislav - 08-02-2017
The night sky hides from wandering, but the sliver of moon is still bright enough to cast wayward shadows about us, picking and choosing fractions of our bodies to illuminate. We're prowling the Bellum Steppe, just looking to pick a fight. After all, how does a warrior train, gain experience, if not by doing the thing he wants to get better at? Damaris leads the way, trotting ahead of me with her nose held in the air, sniffing for strange smells. (Though, to be fair, they are all strange to her.) I follow behind, jogging now and then to keep up with her. Nothing really stands out to either of us. I guess Novus is at peace right now, eh? I chuckle.
"Perhaps." She responds, though doubt clouds her speech. I have always thought that, even though she is young, she is much wiser than I have ever been. Someday I hope to be half as wise as she. I wonder if she's going to say more, but suddenly she stops, ears pricking forward as the rest of her body stills. I know better than to ask what it is, for doing so will only disturb her focus and earn me an irritated growl. Instead I use my own silver orbs to search the darkness before us.
There in the middle of an 'arena', surrounded by tall grasses, is a lone pegasus. Her body is as dark as the night, but her legs, mane, and tail are pale like the moon, and serve to make the rest of her form stand out. She practically poses there, appearing defiant and strong to any who might dare cross her path. Of course, that just happens to be myself and my lovely hellhound.
Surprise seems the best approach. She's wandering the Bellum Steppe, which is the same as just begging to be attacked. "Introductions can come later." For once Damaris agrees with me, which serves to boost my confidence. I turn to my left so I'm approaching from the mare's right. Quietly I move through the tall grasses, having not entered the pock-marked dirt arena. "Go now - before she hears your heavy breathing!" Not the nicest 'charge' that I've ever received, but it's enough.
I gallop toward the winged fae, breaking out from
The grasses and into view. My hooves pound the ground, metal armor clinking around my sides, and as I near her I bellow a war cry. My teeth are bared as I focus my aim at her feathered appendage, hoping to both slam into her and damage her wing. Perhaps if I can ground her, I'll gain an advantage. Damaris runs in behind me, growling and barking wildly at the unknown mare from a short distance.
Tag: @Aislinn @Sid @inkbone @
Rosti thoughts | Rosti speech | Damaris mindspeak
Summary: Rosti arrives with his armor on, accompanied by Damaris, his hellhound companion. He bursts from the grasses into the arena without warning, and attacks from Aislinn's right. He tries to rip her wing with his teeth and knock her off balance.
Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 1
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: None (except his armor that he arrived with)
Response Deadline: August 6
RE: battlesong— - Aislinn - 08-04-2017
A I S L I N N
some people are born with tornadoes in their lives, but constellations in their eyes.
other people are born with stars at their feet,
but their souls are lost at sea.
- nikita gill
The night air stilled around her as she lingered in the center of the Steppe, as if all of the nocturnal creatures surrounding the plateau hushed in anticipation. Her blood boiled like untamed wildfire in her veins, hot breath blowing soft clouds through her nostrils like steam from bubbling water. She waited, silently willing whomever prowled in the night's shadows to come out and play.
Tall sweetgrass brushed against her legs, strands of her starlight mane fluttering into her view as she stood. Proud and expectant, delicate ears flittering at the slightest change in noise. She inhaled deeply, drinking in the night. There. Her ears flicked towards the soft clink of metal on metal. Surely, she might have imagined the sound in anticipation, and perhaps not at all. She nearly almost dismissed the sound a heartbeat before a war cry roared through the quiet.
The unmistakable pounding of hooves on earth roared through the stillness, rushing at her on her right side. Years of training among the warriors in her tribe honed her, as Aislinn's muscles began to respond automatically. Her attacker had surprise on their side, but she was also quick.
As she felt him come near, the gypsy mare twisted her body in attempt to deflect their aim -- extending her wings high above her and out of reach. However, she wasn't quick enough as she felt a heavy weight throw her just off-kilter, a strangled gasp breaking free from her throat as the sting of fresh blood rushed on a gash in her wing. She shoved at him with her full weight, frustration answering into her own battle cry.
Hot fumes billowed from her nostrils, her anger broiling and molding into a tangible thing. A weapon in itself, her teachers would say. Now, she got a good look at him -- a brute wearing metal-plated armor, and a hound sneaking at her at his side. Aislinn glared at them both, sapphire orbs promising sweat and blood and the taste of Rahilah fury. She winced as she extended her right wing, testing it, before her muscle bunched up and let loose as she launched herself at him headlong. Her hope was to catch the stallion while he caught his breath -- unforgiving and merciless. Feathers extended to their full wing span, she flew, a living obsidian dagger as she charged with teeth bared.
Summary: Ash takes a hit and has a bleeding gash on her wing ('tis but a flesh wound), charging at Rosti with full force and super angry about being surprised xD
Attack Used: 1
Attack(s) Left: 1
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: None!
Response Deadline: 7 August
Tags: @Rostislav @
RE: battlesong— - Rostislav - 08-05-2017
Though my carcass collides with hers, and though I've achieved my goal of jolting her and tearing a gash, I have knocked some of the wind out of myself as well. My armor presses up against my ribcage and breast, compressing an area that is too large to cope well with the feelings of being squeezed and pushed on. I step away from the mare, wobbling as I try to regain my own balance. The sudden attack leaves me winded for a moment, and my lungs heave as I reach for air. Removing myself from my opponent's side releases the pressure on my armor, and the breathing comes more easily. I don't see her fury, don't see her coming although it is as plain as day. It's not that my eyes fail to work, that my optic nerve is frayed and worn. No, it's that the blood of my enemy has coated my teeth, and the taste of iron as I run my tongue over my teeth has effectively drawn my attention.
The irritation at my complacency radiates from Damaris, palpable in the summer air. You fool! She growls at me, and she has every right to do so. After all, the dark winged fae is after me, outrage lighting the fire beneath her wings. My reaction is slow as she comes at my left, her wings outstretched in as much a display of dominance as anything. A snarl fills the void - but whether it comes from me or Damaris is hard to tell. I brace for the impact I know is coming, for my momentary distraction, however short, is enough to give the pegasus a chance for revenge. Her teeth are bared just as mine had been, out for my blood.
I dip my head, trying to protect my skull, jugular vein, and carotid artery. Her teeth clang against the metal of my armor, scraping against the alloy that protects the crest of my neck. Although I'm safe from her teeth, the metal digs into my neck, scraping along the skin and pulling at the mane hairs tangled underneath the plates. I grunt and shift my weight under her assault, trying to avoid being shoved around. Though I'm thankful for the armor, it's not a foolproof way to remain unscathed. Nothing is infallible, and there are flaws to every plan, every design.
I wrench myself away, twisting to my to right to free myself of the onslaught. Taking just a few steps farther, I dip my crown again toward the dusty arena ground. My loins coil, my body tips, and with an unparalleled fierceness I send my hind hooves flying in the woman's direction. My leonine tail whips ferociously as my back legs extend, a squeal piercing the air joined with the barking from the nearby hellhound. I aim for the other equine's face or neck, then quickly descend to the ground again to balance myself. My armor clinks around me, jangling with the movements of my attack. I twist my crown around to glance at my opponent, stepping away as quickly as I can to avoid what I can only assume is another oncoming attack.
WC: 527
Tag: @Aislinn @inkbone @kay @Sid
Rosti thoughts | "Rosti speech" | Damaris mindspeak
Summary: He is slow to move out of Aislinn's way,
And so he receives her bite, but on the crest of his neck armor. It pushes against his skin and scrapes him, plus it tears out a bit of mane. He turns away to his right and aims double barrel kick at Aislinn's head. Then he takes a few steps away (still with his hindquarters facing her, and turns his head to look at her.
Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: None
Response Deadline: August 8
The irritation at my complacency radiates from Damaris, palpable in the summer air. You fool! She growls at me, and she has every right to do so. After all, the dark winged fae is after me, outrage lighting the fire beneath her wings. My reaction is slow as she comes at my left, her wings outstretched in as much a display of dominance as anything. A snarl fills the void - but whether it comes from me or Damaris is hard to tell. I brace for the impact I know is coming, for my momentary distraction, however short, is enough to give the pegasus a chance for revenge. Her teeth are bared just as mine had been, out for my blood.
I dip my head, trying to protect my skull, jugular vein, and carotid artery. Her teeth clang against the metal of my armor, scraping against the alloy that protects the crest of my neck. Although I'm safe from her teeth, the metal digs into my neck, scraping along the skin and pulling at the mane hairs tangled underneath the plates. I grunt and shift my weight under her assault, trying to avoid being shoved around. Though I'm thankful for the armor, it's not a foolproof way to remain unscathed. Nothing is infallible, and there are flaws to every plan, every design.
I wrench myself away, twisting to my to right to free myself of the onslaught. Taking just a few steps farther, I dip my crown again toward the dusty arena ground. My loins coil, my body tips, and with an unparalleled fierceness I send my hind hooves flying in the woman's direction. My leonine tail whips ferociously as my back legs extend, a squeal piercing the air joined with the barking from the nearby hellhound. I aim for the other equine's face or neck, then quickly descend to the ground again to balance myself. My armor clinks around me, jangling with the movements of my attack. I twist my crown around to glance at my opponent, stepping away as quickly as I can to avoid what I can only assume is another oncoming attack.
Tag: @Aislinn @inkbone @
Rosti thoughts | "Rosti speech" | Damaris mindspeak
Summary: He is slow to move out of Aislinn's way,
And so he receives her bite, but on the crest of his neck armor. It pushes against his skin and scrapes him, plus it tears out a bit of mane. He turns away to his right and aims double barrel kick at Aislinn's head. Then he takes a few steps away (still with his hindquarters facing her, and turns his head to look at her.
Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: None
Response Deadline: August 8
Rostislav
more than a drunken fool
RE: battlesong— - Aislinn - 08-07-2017
A I S L I N N
some people are born with tornadoes in their lives, but constellations in their eyes.
other people are born with stars at their feet,
but their souls are lost at sea.
- nikita gill
She flew, straight and true, a flurry of feathers and bared teeth towards her target. A shred of her focus turns to her opponent's companion, a hound that snarled at her or him, she couldn't tell. And suddenly she was upon him, bone crashing into the metal on his neck, missing the flesh underneath. Although his weight did not give from her fury, Aislinn held nothing back as she dove into him. He twisted away, freeing himself from her wrath. Quickly, she collected herself, grunting and bundling herself together in a tight package of feathers before spreading them wide. With a beat of those great wings, the fae barely missed the brute's onslaught of hind hooves as they grazed the empty air where her neck was a hair's breadth before.
Aislinn winced, her wings beating against the night as the sting from her wound shot through her plumes like lightning. Her face was a mask of anger and thunder, absolutely refusing to show her weakness, especially on the battlefield. Call it pride, but the warrior-gypsy in her blood ran hot and boiling. Her mane whipping around her like waves of starlight, her eyes bore into him as the stallion kept his back turned towards her. His crown turned to look at her, her fury frothing into something volcanic and his dared keep his back to an opponent.
"You dare keep your back turned?" she asked, more to herself than to him. Icy orbs narrowed as she gathered her strength, muscles tensing like the promise of an oncoming summer storm. Her gaze slid over him and to the hound at his side, her breath coming in thick pants. A war cry ripped from her throat like a scream of lightening across a bruised sky. As if she were a breathing typhoon, Aislinn launched herself down down down, throwing her entire weight into her pointed shoulder in a final attempt to take her opponent down.
OOC: I'm so sorry this is not my best post at all. D:
Summary: After Aislinn collects herself from her attack, she flies upward to block herself from Rostislav's buck. Furious, she launches her entire body weight at Rostislav, hoping to land a successful final blow.
Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 1
Block(s) Left: 0
Item(s) Used: None!
Response Deadline: 10 August
Tags: @Rostislav @
RE: battlesong— - Rostislav - 08-09-2017
It was stupid and arrogant, leaving myself in front of her, vulnerable to her next attack. My hooves strike - air. The fae is quick, quicker than I and smarter, too. She lifts herself up in the air and her appearance in the night sky is just... awe-inspiring. Her silver mane out in the night air, caught in the wind; the moon illuminating her silouette. She looks almost like Caligula herself. A hint of fear slithers into my mind and body, just enough that I try to scoot forward. Beautiful, dangerous Caligula is after me and though I am of her land now.. there's no telling what a Goddess might wreak upon a mere mortal! Damaris feels my unease, my growing panic, and howls up at the night sky. (Not that such a gesture does anything to aid me.)
Altho By I try to evade the dark one's descent, my arrogant hesitation is my downfall, and I'm only to take a few steps away from her. Her body comes crashing down like an avalanche, her shoulder aimed at my rear. Edged to the side in my efforts to evade her, I feel her weight make contact on my top left flank, digging into the muscle there. No broken bones, nor even broken skin. I should count my lucky stars for being so fortunate. Instead, my hindquarters crumble from the force and I can only hope I don't pull anything in the process. My front hooves claw at the ground in front of me, pulling me forward as I groan and struggle to get all four underneath me again. It's an effort, but I scramble away with a pained moan. My rear end aches, and I expect that a deep tissue bruise will develop there, leaving me limping for a few days at the least. But with this last strike, I feel that it would be better to leave our sparring at that.
Damaris hurried to my side, resisting the temptation to lick me in a gesture of comfort. After all, I would only be burned by the acid she produces. Instead she rubs against me, tail wagging slowly as we both turn to look at the female we had initially surprised with attack. I bow my head and murmur just one word. "Rostislav." I wait only for her to return with her name - should she choose to give it, before turning and disappearing into the night.
WC: 405
Tag: @Aislinn @inkbone @kay @Sid
Rosti thoughts | "Rosti speech" | Damaris mindspeak
Summary: Rosti starts to move but takes the hit to the left side of his flank and is knocked off balance, his hind end slipping to the ground. He scrambles up and moves away as quickly as he can, though he's wobbly and aching. (And will probably limp for a couple of days)
Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: n/a
Response Deadline: August 12
Altho By I try to evade the dark one's descent, my arrogant hesitation is my downfall, and I'm only to take a few steps away from her. Her body comes crashing down like an avalanche, her shoulder aimed at my rear. Edged to the side in my efforts to evade her, I feel her weight make contact on my top left flank, digging into the muscle there. No broken bones, nor even broken skin. I should count my lucky stars for being so fortunate. Instead, my hindquarters crumble from the force and I can only hope I don't pull anything in the process. My front hooves claw at the ground in front of me, pulling me forward as I groan and struggle to get all four underneath me again. It's an effort, but I scramble away with a pained moan. My rear end aches, and I expect that a deep tissue bruise will develop there, leaving me limping for a few days at the least. But with this last strike, I feel that it would be better to leave our sparring at that.
Damaris hurried to my side, resisting the temptation to lick me in a gesture of comfort. After all, I would only be burned by the acid she produces. Instead she rubs against me, tail wagging slowly as we both turn to look at the female we had initially surprised with attack. I bow my head and murmur just one word. "Rostislav." I wait only for her to return with her name - should she choose to give it, before turning and disappearing into the night.
Tag: @Aislinn @inkbone @
Rosti thoughts | "Rosti speech" | Damaris mindspeak
Summary: Rosti starts to move but takes the hit to the left side of his flank and is knocked off balance, his hind end slipping to the ground. He scrambles up and moves away as quickly as he can, though he's wobbly and aching. (And will probably limp for a couple of days)
Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 0
Block(s) Left: 1
Item(s) Used: n/a
Response Deadline: August 12
Rostislav
more than a drunken fool
RE: battlesong— - Aislinn - 08-10-2017
A I S L I N N
some people are born with tornadoes in their lives, but constellations in their eyes.
other people are born with stars at their feet,
but their souls are lost at sea.
- nikita gill
A groan ripped from her throat, the entire weight of her body aimed into her opponent like a meteor crashing into the earth. The stormsinger was a flurry of rage and satisfaction, her final assault landing true as she rammed into the brute's rear end. He buckled underneath the onslaught, the fae tucking her wings in close as her momentum threw her body into a roll. She crashed into the plateau, landing heavily on her damaged wing. Releasing a strangled cry, she ducked, tucking her legs underneath her as she rolled to her right side and heaved herself up to stand.
A shudder rippled across her skin, Aislinn's lithe frame standing perpendicular to the stallion's. Her muscles tensed and relaxed, tensed and relaxed, the thick adrenaline coursing through her blood fading away. The sharp sting from the gash on her wing came with a full force, blood trailing down her feathers and staining them scarlet. Only then did she notice a handful of her plumes had been ripped out, a spoil of battle for her opponent. She certainly would not be able to soar under the stars anytime soon.
The dark mare cracked her neck, azure orbs flicking upwards to finally get a good look at the stallion who had answered her silent call. Curiosity had her staring, Aislinn's gaze on the mysterious — and rather beautiful — hound that nuzzled up to him. He was strong, handsome even, and someone completely unknown to her. She desired to know the face beneath his armor, equal bits of wanting and respect filling her. A warrior unafraid to enter a spar, and one who certainly could hold his own.
A single word passed his lips — his name, she realized — as he and the hound turned to face her. Rostislav. Tucking the name of the warrior into a pocket in her mind, she smiled softly. From one soldier to another, she dipped her crown in return. Her lips parted in a whisper, the fae's body beginning to spin away and melt into the shadows.
"Aislinn," she sighed, and like a wraith, the night-blessed mare was gone.
I'm sorry for the shortness D:
Summary: Aislinn recovers from her final attack, looking to Rostislav and Damaris will newfound respect for a fellow warrior. She tells him her name before vanishing into the night.
Attack Used: 2
Attack(s) Left: 0
Block Used: 1
Block(s) Left: 0
Item(s) Used: None!
Response Deadline: None!
Tags: @Rostislav @
RE: battlesong— - inkbone - 08-13-2017
Staff note: KIROOCHUU and LAUREN redeemed signos for completing the thread.
RE: battlesong— - inkbone - 08-28-2017
Aislinn VS Rostislav
@Aislinn - Total: 80/100
@Rostislav - Total: 77/100
- Attacks 51/65
- 22/25 -- Based on creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail).
- 1st post: No attacks, but a creative entrance. Very descriptive of the surroundings, time of day, and weather.
- 2nd post: I would have liked to see something other than a 'rush', but overall a good attack!
- 3rd post: The nose-dive air charge was a creative way of using her wings to her advantage.
- 4th post: No actual attack in the 4th post; more or less the "after-effects" of her previous attack. Very creative landing that minimized the damage taken afterwards, but didn't leave her "unharmed" from her own attack.
- 17/25 -- Based on realism (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
- 1st post: No attacks. Very good, realistic feel to pegasus/wing mechanics.
- 2nd post: In my opinion, Aislinn - taller than Rosti but significantly less bulky - rushing Rosti was not a realistic choice, simply because of the obvious nature of his armor. Especially since he has a pretty heavy chestplate and a hornplate to boot. It would have been better to rush from a different angle, maybe!
- 3rd post: While not necessarily a bad attack, I was really concerned about the idea of Aislinn throwing her entire weight into what was essentially a nose-dive. Mostly because if Rosti chose to side-step or otherwise avoid the attack, it might be very hard for Aislinn to stop all of that momentum in an attempt to avoid hitting the ground! And crashing into the ground at that speed would most likely cripple her.
- 4th post: No actual attack in the 4th post; more or less the "after-effects" of her previous attack. The ducking and tumbling across the plateu was a really nice effect that made sense. Her reaction and the descriptive nature of the after effects made me whince. Poor Aislinn! But her taking damage from the result of her own attack is very realistic.
- 1st post: No attacks. Very good, realistic feel to pegasus/wing mechanics.
- 12/15 -- Based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
- 1st post: No attacks. Few grammar mistakes. A couple sentences/fragments that read oddly. Otherwise very good!
- 2nd post: A couple grammar and sentence structure mistakes here and there.
- 3rd post: Very good grammar and sentence structure.
- 4th post: No actual attack in the 4th post; more or less the "after-effects" of her previous attack. A few instances where the reader could get confused as to who the post was referring to (Rostislav or Damaris). Some of the sentence structures would have read better if flip-flopped (for some of the longer, complex sentences), but overall very good!
- 1st post: No attacks. Few grammar mistakes. A couple sentences/fragments that read oddly. Otherwise very good!
- Blocks 29/35
- 11/15 -- Based on creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 2nd post: No 'official' block used, but her reaction to Rostislav's charge was nice. I liked how she swung around in an attempt to face him and raised her wings. I would have liked to see an explanation of what exactly caused the gash - it's implied to be his teeth, but never explicitly stated. Would also have been nice to see an explanation of how exactly the gash might immediately affect her!
- 3rd post: Definitely using her wings to her advantage! I liked the idea of her suddenly bursting up into the air, although I was a little confused when I first read the post - wasn't sure if she just beat her wings, or actually launched upwards. Was able to tell by the end of the post, though!
- 4th post: No official block used.
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 14/15 -- Based on realism (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health and Attack)
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 2nd post: No 'official' block used, but being able to hear the clinking was very realistic.
- 3rd post: Official block used. Bursting up into the air was a very good out.
- 4th post: No official block used.
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 4/5 -- Based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 2nd post: No 'official' block used, but overall good grammar. A few sentences could have been worded differently to give a more 'natural' feel while reading.
- 3rd post: Very good grammar and sentence structure!
- 4th post: No official block used. Good grammar and sentence structure.
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 11/15 -- Based on creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
@Rostislav - Total: 77/100
- Attacks 45/65
- 20/25 -- Based on creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
- 1st post: I liked the idea of him attempting to surprise her, instead of taking the typical route of "revealing" himself and having a conversation about fights. I do think that an ambush while wearing metal armor is easier said than done.
- 2nd post: Definitely wouldn't have thought of a buck as a return attack, but it works! I liked the attention to detail surrounding your description of him position himself for the retaliation attack.
- 3rd post: No attack in the 3rd post.
- 1st post: I liked the idea of him attempting to surprise her, instead of taking the typical route of "revealing" himself and having a conversation about fights. I do think that an ambush while wearing metal armor is easier said than done.
- 13/25 -- Based on realism (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health, Attack, and Bonded animal)
- 1st post: A little clunky overall, although Damaris' statement ("Go now, before she hears your heavy breathing!") is a nice homage to Rostislav's generally larger bulk and less endurance. There's some slight confusion when reading the post, in regards to which side Rostislav is on (physically) when he "initially" sees Aislinn. If Rostislav turned left to come at Aislinn from her right, that would mean he was in front of her when he initially saw her - which would most likely blow his cover, no matter the tall grass.
- 2nd post: I think that realistically Rostislav should have had more of a reaction to Aislinn rushing at and slamming into him. She is technically taller, although definitely leaner. He would have been able to absorb the majority of her charge, but in a realism sense, it would have most likely knocked him backwards, off balance, or made him skid and strain against the dirt as he fought to turn her kinetic energy back at her.
- 3rd post: No attack in the 3rd post.
- 1st post: A little clunky overall, although Damaris' statement ("Go now, before she hears your heavy breathing!") is a nice homage to Rostislav's generally larger bulk and less endurance. There's some slight confusion when reading the post, in regards to which side Rostislav is on (physically) when he "initially" sees Aislinn. If Rostislav turned left to come at Aislinn from her right, that would mean he was in front of her when he initially saw her - which would most likely blow his cover, no matter the tall grass.
- 12/15 -- Based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
- 1st post: There's a few sentences that read a little oddly, and a couple instances where a comma could have been used. Otherwise, very good!
- 2nd post: I really liked this post overall! Sentence structure was good.
- 3rd post: No attack in the 3rd post. Good grammar and sentence structure.
- 1st post: There's a few sentences that read a little oddly, and a couple instances where a comma could have been used. Otherwise, very good!
- 20/25 -- Based on creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
- Blocks 32/35
- 14/15 will be based on creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
- 1st post: No blocks in first post, only an attack.
- 2nd post: Incredibly impressed! I liked the idea of Rosti getting distracted by the blood in his mouth, and the effects of the initial impact were very well described.
- 3rd post: I was a little confused by the opening paragraph of this post - most notably the bit about Caligo. Did Rostislav actually mistake Aislinn for Caligo? Other than that, I like the attention to detail surrounding how Rosti took the brunt of Aislinn's attack!
- 2nd post: Incredibly impressed! I liked the idea of Rosti getting distracted by the blood in his mouth, and the effects of the initial impact were very well described.
- 15/15 will be based on realism (mechanics and whether you accurately reflect your Health, Attack, and Bonded animal)
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 2nd post: The realism is very refreshing! I liked how he was winded from his initial attack (and partially from his own armor), and also distracted by the blood in his mouth. Props to describing in detail the drawbacks of the armor, as even though the crestplates effectively took the brunt of Aislinn's bite, he still got scraped from the armor itself.
- 3rd post: Rosti's hind end crumpling under Aislinn's air charge was very realistic and well thought out! He does have a decent bit of metal plating armor on his rear end, but with such force behind Aislinn's aerial charge, it will definitely leave a horrid bruise.
- 1st post: No blocks in first post.
- 3/5 will be based on writing metrics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, etc)
- 1st post: No blocks in first post, only an attack.
- 2nd post: Sentence structure was good.
- 3rd post: A handful of spelling mistakes - most notable is that 'Caligula' is actually spelled 'Caligo'! :p Otherwise good.
- 1st post: No blocks in first post, only an attack.
- 14/15 will be based on creativity (originality, imagination, and attention to detail)
RE: battlesong— - sid - 09-04-2017
I completely forgot this one needed to be done I am so sorry!!!
AISLINN vs ROSTISLAV
@Aislinn:
Total: 83/100
@Rostislav:
Total: 70/100
Total: 83/100
- Attacks 52/65
- Creativity 20/25 -- You’re very descriptive in described the landscape and surroundings, it makes it easy to get lost in your posts and understand what was going on! I would have liked to see a bit more internal dialogue—why did she choose to visit the Steppe in the first place? How she feels about his approach/the fight, etc—this did get better in the third and fourth post! I thought the attacks themselves were relatively simple, a charge and a nosedive, but the way you wrote them carrying into the next posts and the after math of the dive really worked well.
- Realism 18/25 -- I love that she uses her wings to her advantage, particularly because she’s against not only Rosti but also his companion. I think the dive however would have made more sense if he was also airborne or if she planned to just scrape him rather than using her whole weight, where she could easily hurt herself, however the roll and the damage she did take helped a lot with the realism factor. However, with her lower health I would have appreciated her taking a bit more damage!
- Metrics 14/15 -- Some of your descriptions felt a bit long and conjugated and I had to reread a few sentences to understand how it tied together, but overall few grammar mistakes and really easy to follow along! Overall I really liked how your posts carried from one to the other like a story
- Blocks 31/35
- Creativity 12/15 -- Nothing too flashy, but again like that she’s using her wings as resourcefully as possible, rather than just forgetting about them lol
- Realism 15/15 -- I like that it makes sense for her to be able to dodge so quickly, being a bit more nimble of a breed.
- Metrics 4/5 -- Short, but easy enough to tell what was going on.
@Rostislav:
Total: 70/100
- Attacks 53/65
- Creativity 20/25 -- I like that he strives for a surprise attack in the first post, but at the same time it doesn’t make sense for him to announce himself with a warcry if he’s trying to be sneaky! His barrel kick is nothing flashy, but he realizes his mistake and that gained some points from me. I would have liked to see Damaris involved a bit more to see their teamwork, but overall Rosti got the job done!
- Realism 23/25 -- In the first post, I appreciate that he goes directly for the wings, sense it does create quite a bit of a difference between the two! I also like that his damage taken seems to reflect his Health stat pretty well, and that he’s pretty aware of vital points like arteries and organs to protect.
- Metrics 10/15 -- A few strange grammatical errors or line breaks, specifically in the third post, but nothing major enough that I don’t know what you’re saying! I don’t see many 1st person posts so this was interesting in itself to take in.
- Blocks 17/35
- Creativity 7/15 -- No official blocks to judge, but taking the brunt of her attacks instead was different to read.
- Realism 8/15 -- No official blocks to judge. I do however appreciate that you counted him as being too slow to properly dodge, since he is a bulkier horse than Aislinn (especially with all that armor), but I struggled to find enough to really judge here, so I gave basically half points.
- Metrics 2/5 -- No official blocks to judge.