<>:X:<> KAZI <>:X:<> 

"I read the rules..."

It hadn't been too hard a decision to choose the forest over the desert. The heat on the sand wasn't too much of a deterrent but when given the choice it seemed more likely that the choice to live would be within the trees. Of course there had been a desert kingdom in his homeland too so he wasn't completely ruling the idea out. It was never a good idea to go off of an assumption instead of just going and getting proof yourself. In the end spending the time to confirm something would always be better than being wrong. Kazi had spent almost a week searching his home and the area surrounding it for his sister before eventually giving up on that plan. Traveling with his father would probably yield more answers than being on his own anyway. Leaving his mother had been rough but knowing she was in the care of family was reassuring enough to allow the boy to continue on his way. 

The trees offered relief from the sun that had been beating down on the plains, though the young stallion had to admit that he'd prefer the heat of the open grasslands to the bit of shade. Lack of vision was more dangerous than the sweat that wet his coat but the forest was more familiar and in the long run he would prefer to explore the desert when he had more of an idea of the other surrounding areas. Knowing which lands were ruled over, and by who, would be vital information at some point. Until then he would gather what he could and learn from whoever would teach him. 

He just had to find the right people and for that the boy would have to search wherever he could. At least until his father arrived, then Kazi would see what he had planned. Sure he had his own agenda for being in this new area but that didn't mean he couldn't cause a little chaos or do whatever the older stallion wanted to do. The boy wanted to have plenty of stories to make his twin jealous of whenever he did find her. They still had plenty of their own problems to cause and places to wreck havoc on.

With his thoughts turning towards dangerous areas the young stallion returned his attention to the trees, silently scolding himself for becoming distracted in unknown territory. He'd have to get better about that, especially once he started running into others. Kazi was still young but he felt as though his features didn't give him the benefit of being thought of as innocent or harmless. Which if he were to really think about it the boy would find this rather satisfying, though being underestimated did come with certain perks. Hopefully those that found him not so immediately innocent would also underestimate him. It would be a joyful encounter to prove them in the wrong but he would have to hold himself back from going too far. Fear was power but it would only put a target on his head that would be hard to avoid at the moment. Scouting would be his only act until he could find a more permanent home from which to work. 

"... before I break them."

<>:X:<>

@Liam He's become a lot darker and he's not a happy camper at the moment, you've been warned <3

<>:X:<> KAZI <>:X:<> 

"I read the rules..."

The feeling of eyes on one's back never quite managed to make the boy shiver but they did cause him to pause his movements. It was a reaction he had been practicing in order to keep someone that possibly tried to follow him from knowing that he had noticed them. Normally he could keep himself from full on pausing and turn the resulting slight stumble into something more natural. This time though instinct had him stopping with a hoof still in the air while bright eyes scanned around the trees.

After a moment Kazi almost pushed the feeling away and continued on when the sound of crunching leaves and branches erupted to his left. After this interaction he would have to talk with himself about not following his instincts completely. They were there and strong for a reason, following them whenever they appeared had only ever kept him safe and alive. His head quickly moved so that he could see what had disturbed the decaying plants along the forest floor.

Kazi couldn't keep his limbs from freezing out of surprise but he was able to keep the frown on his face from turning into something darker. Bright eyes narrowed slightly as he turned to fully face the stallion that he had known since the day he was born. A mixed set of emotions battled within the young boy but the strongest could easily be labeled as anger, though he refused to let it be shown just yet. Instead he just stared at the soldier and chose to keep the recognition to himself, hoping the thought of not being remembered would hurt the stallion more than anger would.

Was it worth it to follow? To see what someone he had almost thought of as a father figure had to say? A small part of the boy wanted to just ignore the request and continue on his way but then he wouldn't get any answers to questions that he hadn't been aware that he had until this moment. With a frustrated sigh at his own curiosity and childish desire he nodded once and followed the stallion. Kazi stopped as soon as he reached the clearing and turned to face the soldier again, keeping his eyes hard.

"Hello Liam."

"... before I break them."

<>:X:<>

They've always been entertaining | @Liam 

<>:X:<> KAZI <>:X:<> 

"I read the rules..."

The guilt that had shown on the older stallion's face only added fuel to the fire that had begun to burn inside him with his first glimpse of Liam. Kazi's lips wanted to pull back against his tusks in a sneer but he refused to give away just how much anger he was currently harboring. The anger wasn't unexpected but the disappointment certainly was. He really didn't to feel anything else, especially when faced with the reason for such emotions, but it seemed as though it was out of his hooves. It'd just have to be something he dealt with later on, or possibly turn into something useful in the moment.

The colt wondered what Liam thought was amusing enough in this situation. He thought it was pretty obvious that the presence of the stallion wasn't as joyful as it might have been to anyone else. The return of a father figure would have been a reason to celebrate but with the way that he had left those he had promised to protect Kazi would never forgive him. He could barely find it in himself to be somewhat civil.

If Liam had stopped after the 2nd question the colt might have held himself together. He could have taken a moment to consider the options, decide if hearing excuses was really what he wanted. Instead the third question acted as gasoline poured into the open flames and red bled into his vision. It was a miracle that his face stayed as still as it did even as the blue of his eyes brightened in anger to hide the pang of despair at the mention of Kaja.

"You don't deserve to ask about them." His words were icy to the point of frozen, a major contrast to how he felt inside. Kazi really didn't want to talk about his mother or twin with this stallion but the malicious part of him whispered that hearing of their fates would hurt more than not knowing. The flames died down and the ice melted a bit, leaving behind a more monotone, slightly robotic voice.

"My mother's mind has decayed to the point of no return. There's no talking to her without speaking to hundreds of ghosts instead. And my sister..." Kazi forced his voice to stay steady, fighting with himself to keep from showing anything other the steel of indifference. "Kaja is gone."

"... before I break them."

<>:X:<>

@Liam | Gonna be a long road to that

<>:X:<> KAZI <>:X:<> 

"I read the rules..."

The young stallion definitely remembered the day in the library. It was one of the last times he was somewhat content, in a place that held his interests with the knowledge that his mother and sister were safe. Even discussing books and reading with Liam hadn't been terrible, maybe even something that they could share, but it was a memory now. One clouded over by the disappointment and hurt from being abandoned before even knowing what abandonment really meant. Even his own father, who had no knowledge of his children at their birth, wouldn't have done such a thing. 

"I remember." Kazi considered what else to say, if there even was anything else. Nothing about that day really stood out anymore after everything that had happened. He decided to leave it at that, anything more would just end up giving hope where it wasn't warranted. The silence continued throughout Liam's next questions, replacing the words that would have been useless anyway. He had more control over himself now but the young stallion still wasn't sure nothing would leak through if he spoke while so emotional. He was sure his body was giving enough away with how much it tightened every time the stallion spoke up.

The prior father figure in front of him seemed to think that something was amiss, that there was supposed to have been something left behind to give some sort of answer if the way his shock kept appearing was anything to go by. Something of that sort might have given some insight for sure but he wasn't sure if it would have been enough. Words on paper or whatever wouldn't have been able to stop what had happened, they wouldn't have kept the angry boy from blaming the stallion before him. An excuse didn't pardon anyone from failing at a duty they had decided to take up.

It didn't come as much of a surprise when his thoughts were proven to be true with Liam's next words. Letters. The stallion that had sworn to protect them, protect his mother and sister, had left behind letters to explain to his faux children why he had left without telling them himself, face to face. It wasn't even a question anymore at this point, Kazi knew what he would have done with such a letter. It would have been the same thing that he and his twin had done to an ocean once, though he would have been much less proud.

"Who knows. It's been long enough that I'd prefer for her to be dead at this point." The words tore his soul into pieces but they were heartbreakingly true. Without the knowledge of her whereabouts he could only assume it was someplace bad, especially with the link between them missing, and Kazi felt that death was a much better fate than being captured somewhere. His sister had been a force but even she had limits and he didn't want to one day find out what lengths someone had gone to to break her. Mending the break in his heart would only happen once he found something to work towards and speaking with Liam wasn't getting him anywhere further with that. In fact, it was only making the seething anger boil over through the cracks.

"Letters are no way to tell a child, much less two children, that you are leaving. I guess it's a good thing I grew up so quickly, though it means I was able to get to know you more. I never thought you would be the one to just up and leave." Kazi wasn't sure if he was aiming to hurt any more than he was just trying to keep himself from saying too much. He didn't want pity from this stallion any more than he wanted him trying to fix things. Anyone that was going to leave out of the blue, and not even make sure the excuse they wrote up made it to the people they were meant for, wasn't someone he wanted in his life anymore.

"... before I break them."

<>:X:<>

@Liam | Notes

<>:X:<> KAZI <>:X:<> 

"I read the rules..."

The snort that escaped the colt didn’t meet much resistance on the way out. At this point he was beyond trying to save face, if he ever really was before now. In Kazi’s opinion there was no repairing the familial relationship that had started to form between them. There wasn’t enough time put into it for there to be any deep roots to bind them and any that had started to form had burned to ash by now. Bringing up old memories wasn’t going to magically fix everything and it would be cruel to give any sort of positive answer. Which is why he didn’t just ignore the question.

“You know… I think I might have. Though it’s pretty easy to entertain a child, even one as antisocial as myself. No worries, you can be glad to hear that it once stood out as a bright memory. Of course it’s now just a memory like all the others, overwritten by more recent ones. You see, that happens when a child grows up. Memories dim, especially when the other party is no longer around.” It was probably the most poetic the boy had been. He blamed it on the books, though he knew from those same writings that most words were fueled by emotion. A bright glint appeared in Kazi’s eyes as he thought of something else he had learned.

”I once read that memories from a trauma or very emotional moment almost seem to burn themselves into the mind. I wonder just how traumatic the abandonment from a father figure would be.” A sneer lifted his lips from the tusks that jutted out between them. He wasn’t a fan of admitting to emotion but in this case it would be worth it just to see the effect they had.

Kazi didn’t flinch away from the stallion’s next question, though it hadn’t been entirely expected. His eyes narrowed at the implication that his twin had just abandoned him. Either Liam didn’t know what it was like to have a sibling, much less a twin, or he just overlooked the strength of the bond between them. Either way it was a ridiculous insinuation and the colt wasn’t fond of it.

”You don’t know shit if you think my sister would do anything similar to what you did. She would have known better than to up and leave with nothing more than a letter that may or may not make if to me. She would have found some way to let me know immediately. She would have fought for that and I wouldn’t even need to consider treating her in a way that is similar to now.” Kazi had to pause for a moment just to calm the burning in his chest. He could handle himself in most situations but anything said against his sister was bound to end in something less than pleasant.

”You’re goddamn right. There’s no possible way that you could fix anything. Honestly you should just give up now, the hole is just getting deeper the more you say.” He shrugged along with his words, getting to the point where he was ready to just walk away. He had said what needed to be said on his part and didn’t see much of a point in continuing this chat. Kazi figured he’d see how much further Liam would go before ending the conversation. Might as well let the stallion see just how much he had fucked up.

With a dark chuckle the boy rolled his eyes up to the trees above them. It was becoming predictable at this point and that was when things started to get boring. “Regret is all well and good but in the end the mistake still remains. If I had any respect left for you I’d probably believe in a second chance but it’s a little difficult to find any sort of respect for you anymore. That vanished along with you when you left.” 

"... before I break them."

<>:X:<>

@Liam | I have to admit… this was fun to write.