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+---- Thread: [P] No damsels in distress here (Asta) (/showthread.php?tid=7061)
No damsels in distress here (Asta) - Uzuri - 05-08-2022
The time since the last meeting with her court had been chaotic, so much for Uzi to learn as quickly as she could. Add that to trying to plan an event to brighten up those that had been quiet lately, and the sovereign was rather fatigued. But that was no excuse for the delay in speaking to the mare that she was seeking. A part of her had wanted to run after Asta when she left the meeting, to speak with her and try to at least offer her the option to stay in the citadel.
Instead, she had been forced to watch the pain in the other mare’s eyes when she left and wait patiently beside the stallion that had made so many large promises to those around them. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she turned to the metal on the table before her. She was working carefully on a piece, praying to Vespera every moment that she did. This was something special for her court, a prize to the one that could win her races that she planned.
"I think I need a break. Too much work can blind one from the flaws that could be worked into a piece." She murmured to herself before leaving the forge and locking the door behind her. Entering the courtyard, she watched Neema play in the sunshine. A part of her was determined that the maned wolf would never settle, bringing a smile to her face as she approached to let her bonded know that she was heading out.
Once the discussion was finished, the maned wolf went back to playing and left Uzi to her plan. Leaving the fortress that had become her home, Uzuri padded through the court and toward the bar that Asta had purchased recently. Flicking her tail, she took a deep breath and entered the building.
"Asta?" She called into the quiet space, happy that she had decided to approach the other mare earlier in the day when the bar itself would either be closed or simply quieter. She was not going to make the mare any promises, no talk of adopting her or making her family. At least not intentionally. But she did need to clear the air and let the mare know the words that had been buzzing in her heart.
@Asta
Notes: No Neema today, but Uzi to speak to Asta <3
RE: No damsels in distress here (Asta) - Asta - 05-18-2022
A s t a
'cause i thought i saw your soul
Asta stares at the line of empty cups on the table, the rag she had been using to clean the cups set off to the side, and an unopened bottle of alcohol just with in reach. The closed sign on the door had been there since the day she had ran from the Citadel. She hadn't wanted to see anyone after all. If she hid from the world, perhaps she could hide from the truth. How long before Liam and Bucky actually left town, to be together. Together forever in their own little family - they didn't need her. A reminder of another time. They had each other - and they would move on together. It was better than if she tried to keep sticking around only to continue to get hurt, after all. That was all that waited her if she was stupid enough to try to hold onto the feel of family. She didn't get family. She got a brief reprieve from loneliness, before having to start all over and never seeing any of them again.
She shouldn't have pushed like she did this life time. She should have followed her rules. Should have gone with the flow. Behaved. Been the ideal daughter that she was expected to be. Just went with it. Make it through the life, and start over again when she died and restarted. She quietly sits up, before jumping as hooves clipped against the wooden floor, announcing a visitor, "Can't ya read?! We're closed 'round here!" Asta called out aggressively, spinning around to only pause in shock to see Uzuri there, her name quietly being called. Asta seems to melt back to the table, staring down at the cups once more. "What are you doin' here Uzuri? Did I forget somethin' at the Citadel? Wouldn't be surprised, tried to get out of there before Da- . . . 'fore Liam could stop me." She sighed, as she stood up and faced her Sovereign more firmly, her gaze calm, simple, but emotionless. "Why are you here? If it's to talk about me, I'm fine, and there's nothing to talk about. I'm comfortably moved into the series of rooms above the bar, and I'll . . . I'll be fine." Her gruff tone wasn't disrespectful, but there was an air of exhaustion to her, of someone who haven't slept well, who haven't ate well, who was using 'fine' as a cover.
Deep down . . . Asta was still just feeling stupid and empty. Not wanting to think about things further to realize her thoughts would be accurate, or worst; if her mind was cruelly playing jokes for 'the worst case scenario' and she'd really, and truly screwed up. She should have followed her own rules all along. She made them for a reason, so many life times ago. Novus should have not been the exception . . . her rules had been rules for a reason.
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Uzuri
Notes:
She shouldn't have pushed like she did this life time. She should have followed her rules. Should have gone with the flow. Behaved. Been the ideal daughter that she was expected to be. Just went with it. Make it through the life, and start over again when she died and restarted. She quietly sits up, before jumping as hooves clipped against the wooden floor, announcing a visitor, "Can't ya read?! We're closed 'round here!" Asta called out aggressively, spinning around to only pause in shock to see Uzuri there, her name quietly being called. Asta seems to melt back to the table, staring down at the cups once more. "What are you doin' here Uzuri? Did I forget somethin' at the Citadel? Wouldn't be surprised, tried to get out of there before Da- . . . 'fore Liam could stop me." She sighed, as she stood up and faced her Sovereign more firmly, her gaze calm, simple, but emotionless. "Why are you here? If it's to talk about me, I'm fine, and there's nothing to talk about. I'm comfortably moved into the series of rooms above the bar, and I'll . . . I'll be fine." Her gruff tone wasn't disrespectful, but there was an air of exhaustion to her, of someone who haven't slept well, who haven't ate well, who was using 'fine' as a cover.
Deep down . . . Asta was still just feeling stupid and empty. Not wanting to think about things further to realize her thoughts would be accurate, or worst; if her mind was cruelly playing jokes for 'the worst case scenario' and she'd really, and truly screwed up. She should have followed her own rules all along. She made them for a reason, so many life times ago. Novus should have not been the exception . . . her rules had been rules for a reason.
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Uzuri
Notes:
shades of jade and emerald
RE: No damsels in distress here (Asta) - Uzuri - 05-18-2022
Uzi paused at the words from the strikingly colored mare. She had been cleaning and Uzi could see the fatigue that seemed to drip from the mare. "While I may look like a dumb brute to most, I am capable of reading." She replied with a laugh and smile. Shaking her head, she approached the table where Asta was trying to let herself absorb into the wood.
"The only thing you forgot in the citadel was my offer of friendship. I wont try to step up and be a family… I dont think you are ready for me to be in the role. But I do want to make sure you know that you can speak to me at anytime or about anything and I will never betray your trust." She murmured softly, allowing herself to sink across the table and watch the other mare carefully.
The protest that she was fine rang hollow in Uzi’s ears and she sighed. "I can only imagine the emotional struggle that his choices caused you. He had a habit of adopting others, of promising family… Heck, I nearly fell into it myself. I trusted that he would be there to help me figure out what being a leader really meant. Instead I was left to figure it out on my own… to reach out to the other sovereigns and to try to take the reins with no preparation. I was looking forward to being a part of something special and growing to love those that lived within the citadel with me." She answered softly, shaking her head. There was pain within her own heart, but she was not going to push her emotions upon the mare before her. "I am not here to make you like me… I am here to see how you are truly holding up. Saying that you are fine might work for most, but I hid behind that mask for many years and know the signs. If you want to talk, I am all ears. If not, the offer will stand for if or when you are ready. I dont want to be enemies… I would be honored to call you a friend. But that choice belongs purely to you." She said, her words soft and kind. Uzi glanced at the table before her, the full bottle giving her hope that Asta might actually listen to her. Even though she didn’t drink, that bottle was looking rather tempting with the chaos that was happening all around her. The pain that had gripped her when she found out that she would be on her own. Regardless of the pain and challenge that had been set before her, Uzi refused to break and disappear from her court. She would rise the best that she could to make her court proud.
@Asta
Notes: <3
RE: No damsels in distress here (Asta) - Asta - 06-02-2022
The mare seemed to deflate at the laughter from her new Queen. Queen. How stupid. How silly. And it wasn't even like she could complain about it. From what little bit she had heard, Uzuri had been doing well - really well even. But . . . But a new Queen, it was like proof that Liam and Bucky where gone. Ran off to some happy and comfortable home for just them to live happily ever after - likely somewhere here in Dusk, holed up and happy and . . . and she was here, miserable; alone, abandoned. Always abandoned. A rock forgotten at the bottom of the lake while the rest of the world moves on. Isn't that what the mind-reader-fortune-teller mare had said? She'd called it right, hadn't she? That's all Asta had, was a life on repeat while the rest of the world moved on by, forgetting her as the world spins, and those she loved, comes to pass; gone to the next place . . . and she starts over.
Again, and again, and again. Over, and over, and over. Never stopping. A forgotten rock indeed. Pretty sure ain't no one gonna call ya a dumb brute, majesty. The mare responds from where her face is pressed into the wood, as if it would provide some sort of life line for her. Asta doesn't look up at Uzi's next words, but her ears pivot slightly, Dunno how much good yer offer o' friendship is. Don't know for sure what you've heard of me, but I ain't the best for friendship. Fuck, I make enemies easier than most, pompous assholes who don't know what real tribulations are. The mare replies with a gruff growl.
Asta finally, slowly lifts her head, I don't have any doubt that your being honest right now, but frankly Uzuri, I don't really know you. Not only do I not know you, but you don't know anything about me. What makes you think that you could help me with any of my problems. Because you assume you're older than I am? You have all the answers and can be some insightful older sibling, no. sorry; friend, you're saying you don't want to step up as family. Not that I can blame you. I'm a fuck up Uzuri, with issues you wouldn't be able to wrap your mind around. But there was no bite to her words, just exhaustion - a lot of exhaustion.
As Uzi sat down, Asta moved on instinct, a glass suddenly filling with the opened bottle, and pushed in front of the other mare. It's not the emotional struggle of his choices. It's the fact I was stupid enough to forget to not to trust others. I know better than that. This ain't my first rodeo. The mare falls quiet, least she say too much, I don't make connections, I don't like to. And I dropped all of that for the chance at something more legitament. It was stupid of me. I'm not family . . . His family is Bucky. I'm just some mare he saw a need to save. Except no one could save her for the way her life, no one could save her from the type of history she lived. The type of curse she had 0 a curse of forever.
When Uzi spoke again, about how she was holding up, and commenting on not bothering with 'fine,' Asta frowned with another sigh, I'm fine, really. Fine enough. I don't really wanna talk, ain't got much to say, to be honest. I'm getting by . . . I just . . . The mare sighed before standing, taking the rest of the glasses to bar where she could put them away, I don't have anything to say, don't know right where I'd start anyway. I'm just being stupid anyway . . . If I'm not fine now . . . I will be. At some point. Maybe by the time she concludes this life and can start all over and put this Asta behind her.
“Talk.”
(Alternate color for thoughts).
Again, and again, and again. Over, and over, and over. Never stopping. A forgotten rock indeed. Pretty sure ain't no one gonna call ya a dumb brute, majesty. The mare responds from where her face is pressed into the wood, as if it would provide some sort of life line for her. Asta doesn't look up at Uzi's next words, but her ears pivot slightly, Dunno how much good yer offer o' friendship is. Don't know for sure what you've heard of me, but I ain't the best for friendship. Fuck, I make enemies easier than most, pompous assholes who don't know what real tribulations are. The mare replies with a gruff growl.
Asta finally, slowly lifts her head, I don't have any doubt that your being honest right now, but frankly Uzuri, I don't really know you. Not only do I not know you, but you don't know anything about me. What makes you think that you could help me with any of my problems. Because you assume you're older than I am? You have all the answers and can be some insightful older sibling, no. sorry; friend, you're saying you don't want to step up as family. Not that I can blame you. I'm a fuck up Uzuri, with issues you wouldn't be able to wrap your mind around. But there was no bite to her words, just exhaustion - a lot of exhaustion.
As Uzi sat down, Asta moved on instinct, a glass suddenly filling with the opened bottle, and pushed in front of the other mare. It's not the emotional struggle of his choices. It's the fact I was stupid enough to forget to not to trust others. I know better than that. This ain't my first rodeo. The mare falls quiet, least she say too much, I don't make connections, I don't like to. And I dropped all of that for the chance at something more legitament. It was stupid of me. I'm not family . . . His family is Bucky. I'm just some mare he saw a need to save. Except no one could save her for the way her life, no one could save her from the type of history she lived. The type of curse she had 0 a curse of forever.
When Uzi spoke again, about how she was holding up, and commenting on not bothering with 'fine,' Asta frowned with another sigh, I'm fine, really. Fine enough. I don't really wanna talk, ain't got much to say, to be honest. I'm getting by . . . I just . . . The mare sighed before standing, taking the rest of the glasses to bar where she could put them away, I don't have anything to say, don't know right where I'd start anyway. I'm just being stupid anyway . . . If I'm not fine now . . . I will be. At some point. Maybe by the time she concludes this life and can start all over and put this Asta behind her.
“Talk.”
(Alternate color for thoughts).
do you believe in reincarnation?
'cause i thought i saw your soul
'cause i thought i saw your soul
RE: No damsels in distress here (Asta) - Uzuri - 07-19-2022
There was so much emotion in the room, so many hurts that Uzi wished she could heal. But she also knew that Asta was not one that she knew, one that knew her. Uzi would give her the option, the chance to see if the dawn hued mare could trust her. "It honestly wouldnt be the first time... I used to be a solder that hit first and asked questions later." She laughed softly before listening to the words from the other mare. "I have only heard the praises that were spoken by the one that abandoned us both. My offer is open for you, take it in whatever direction you wish. If you want me to leave you alone, I will. If you want me to be a listening ear when you feel like speaking, I would be glad to oblige. I understand that emotions are a mess where the past events are concerned." She said softly, her words kind and honest.
Uzi laughed softly. "I would probably be the worst older sibling. My own has been a mess for as long as I can remember. I offer myself as just me. Not as a sovereign that can make all the troubles flee, or as someone that is going to rescue you. You are strong, beautiful, intelligent. You are capable of anything you put your mind to. All I offer is to be here if or when you decide you need someone to speak to. No, I dont know you. Hell, I am beginning to think no one even knew I existed until he asked me to step up. I have been the invisible being of the court and now I am trying to make the best of the situation that has stepped into all of our worlds." She answered softly, unsure if she was even saying the right thing. If there even was a right thing.
Uzi felt a pang as Asta spoke. There was a familiarity to her words that was nearly painful. "I can sympathize. I would say understand, but I dont know that anyone can truly understand what goes through another being's mind. While we may have similar situations, there are always parts of them that are different. I... I tried to step up and find a place in the court once before. I courted the idea of romance and belonging. It all ended with nothing but the desire to hide in my home and away from the rest of the world. I wanted someone to save me, but I had no one." She murmured, taking a small sip from the glass and closing her eyes against the past pain. That was not why she was here. Not the emotions that she was ready to deal with.
Uzi nodded as she watched Asta. "You are not being stupid. You were promised something that was ripped away. I would be surprised if you were fully okay with what had happened. But I also have faith that you will grow from this like a phoenix rising from ashes. I just wanted to stop by and see if we could speak. I didnt mean to intrude and I fear that I may have done just that. The citadel is always open to you and I will be there if you find that you do wish to speak. That offer will never close." She said softly, making her way to the door before pausing and looking back. "Thank you for speaking to me, Asta. I do appreciate it more than I can express in words." She murmured before heading out the door and into the chaos of the court once again.
@Asta
Notes: Uzi closer <3