[AW] in the back of my mind

[Kalae]

there's a story in her eyes You know the feeling of meditation? When time slips away and your not sure how much of it has passed? I know the feeling. The world had slipped away with each deep breath I take, a calm slowing my nervous heart. There is so much I want to do, and so much I need to let go of. The betrayal in my heart is heavy, and it takes so much out of me that sometimes I wonder how much more of me I have left to give. But, I need to keep going. I need to push through the pain and make myself stronger, not only for me, but for their memories. If my mother saw me, standing here on the edge of the cliff with tears brimming my eyes, what would she think? Well, she would definitely tell me to back away from the ledge. She would mistake my standing here for something more...sinister. I'm not going to jump Mama. But I need the salt and the threat of the fall to help me fly. Her eyes squinted open, their deep, pale blue reflecting the gold and pinks of the dusk sky. It was this time of the day when her aurora hide really shone, it's colors swirling and melding into a abstract painting of the finest design. Even her tangled locks flowed freely, the loose waves cascading over her in a silky blanket of violet and teal. In this moment, she felt beautiful. She knew she was pleasant to look at, but even her inner self, the critical and sarcastic being that dwelled deep under her skin, was beautiful. And that was new for her. Her self awareness and realization that it's okay to be mad somehow made her feel better. Inside, her heart was still in a thousand pieces and her mind was still thinking of the angry words she would throw at her sister, and that is okay. She couldn't have been standing for very long. The sun had barely gone down in the sky, and the same birds circled the sky over the sea, calling out to each other. Her lips turned up at the corners, watching the flocks as they descended and started to settle in the crags of the rocks. Everyone had someone. She started to turn, when a figure clad in dark shades of black and amber caught her attention. She turned back towards the view of the sea, wondering if they had noticed her...noticed her sadness. Her sensitive ears flicked back, listening to the stranger's steps as they drew closer. So, they had noticed her. A voice made her start, her head and shoulders straightening while the bony bristles that are usually limp hardened. Kalae called it the porcupine effect. When all is well, the growths that had pierced her skin so long ago were laid flat against her spine and hips. They were harmless in this state, the points feeling dull to her as they swished against her skin as she moved. But, at moments when she is startled, or under attack, they straighten. The spines weren't overly long, but they become useful in defense when she needed them. The points are suddenly sharp, the white tips gleaming threateningly at whoever had caused them to awaken. She didn't really have much control over them. It seemed like they responded to jolts of adrenaline. They were close now, standing next to her and sharing the illustration of the sea and sky. They...no, she...declared Kalae's fresh presence to the realm, forming her words as a statement rather then a question. The stranger didn't look at her, didn't seem to noticed Kalae's startled form. She just...stood there with her. It was almost comforting. There were no questions about where she came from or why Kalae wiped dried tears from her cheeks. Kalae nodded, stealing a glance at her company. Envy filled her as she looked over the mare. She was tall and stunning, her presence firm and stoic. Not a speck of dirt could be seen on her dark skin, and her mane was trimmed to perfection. It almost made Kalae look wild, with her tangled strands and sweat covered hide. Her eyes glazed over the enormous wings that were folded against the strangers sides, and suddenly Kalae was filled with questions. Do they work? What was it like to fly, to be able to soar above the pain and the problems? Did she dare ask? An almost childish glee filled her, but she kept her questions quiet. A sigh swelled her lungs and parted her lips. Should she stand here with this commanding presence, just enjoying the silence? She debated for a minute before turning towards the other mare, bowing her features slightly, praying her spines would start to lower. "I've just arrived. I'm Kalae. It's a pleasure..." Her voice trailed off, unsure what to call the mare. Miss seemed to informal. Mad'am was more like it, but she wasn't sure it would offend the stranger. Once, she had called an elderly mare Mad'am, and they flushed red and told her not to call them that. Her first impression of her new home started with this mare, and she wanted to make the right one. She straightened, conscience not to slouch and offered a small smile. First meeting. Ok, Kalae, you've got this. Forget your sadness and just be yourself. Easy, I think. I mean, I've always portrayed myself as easy going and fun. No need to delve into my true feeling right now. I don't want this mare to think I'm crazy or I have heavy baggage. No one wants a sour puss. Besides, this lady here probably doesn't want to hear my inner thoughts. Heck, I didn't want to hear them. So, shove them back and smile girly. What do I always say? I'm strong, and I've got this. @Marisol thanks!