M A E V E
- ✦ -
P
art of me is relieved that Elena wanted to walk away, but as we go, there is a pull I've never felt before. It's as if the fire is saying "wait don't go, come back" and for once, I'm not afraid but guilty.There is a moment of silence between us and I'm not really sure what to say. What just happened is too confusing and not just the fact that I even have fire magic. I'm also not sure if this means Elena might have to tell Momma? Adults sometimes can't keep secrets, so I hope this isn't one of those times. I would rather be the one to tell her, but I want to put it off a little while longer.
When Elena asks me the question, I stop and just blink. My mind feels blank- what would I be? I don't really know. I look up to Momma, but I wouldn't want to be just like her. Maybe a different (kinder) version of her. Of course, there is my other Momma but she abandoned me, so I wouldn't want to be like that to someone either. I'm too loyal to my family and the Court to ever leave like that. My mind drifts to the last time Elena and I were together in the mountains. When I first met Rory…
She's cut herself then and I start to feel that same panic I felt back then too. It's not a bad wound, but I still see blood. Her touch is comforting a little, but I almost feel frozen. We're on the beach and not near any real resources that could help in this moment.
Of course, I want to heal her, it seems silly for me not to. Anyone who has a cold heart might say otherwise, but not me. The problem is, I don't know how and don't have anything to. It makes me start crying. "I want to help but I… I don't…" I start to say before the bonfire near us catches my attention. I feel that same pull I did before, only stronger now. It healed my scrape, does that mean it could heal Elena too? It seems to be the only thing I can do, so I slowly step towards it.
But nothing happens.
I think about how I want the fire to heal Elena the same way it healed me, but there isn't that same feeling. In fact, it almost seems to retract away from me. Does it only want to work with me when it wants to? Can it be that smart?
"I-I'm sorry. I guess I can't heal you that way," I say, feeling defeated. "Does it hurt? We could try finding something in the city maybe?" I want to be able to heal her myself, but I'm just not good enough. We would probably have to find someone else who could.
Maybe someday I could be a healer, but it'll be a long time from now.
she listens to wind secrets
and echoes of distant star songs
