i'm insane
well, i can feel it in my bones
coursing through my veins,
when did i become so cold?
well, i can feel it in my bones
coursing through my veins,
when did i become so cold?
There was a tremendous amount of joy that seemed to settle over that unbeaten heart. The knowledge that she was holding a conversation, even having another enjoy her company. Her form hadn't combust upon entering this hallowed ground, and the timeless beauty felt herself beginning to relax among it all. And yet, in the depths of her mind, she couldn't help but remember. The lamb before her, the innocent soul; who was she to trick such precious innocence into being friendly. Was it not the nature of her people to decieve, and was that not what she was doing now. Had she been a proper vampiress, she'd have decieved until the point where she could strike with out warning. Fangs would split the skin like butter, the blood would flow freely. And yet, to Valan, just the mere idea of such a thing turned her stomach and soured her mouth.
Monster, wretch, murderer, villain, disaster, danger. She was so much more than just a concubine who fluttered the streets for a bit of wealth and company. She was so much more indentured to the night, trapped in its web, forbidden from entering the daylight, lest she feels the burn of that righteous light. This precious little lamb, how Valan envied her for her life, youth, innocence, and fragility; oh how Valan envied her.
She could see the embarrassment color the little mare's cheeks, see the horror she felt as she realized her mistake. The other moved to apologize, and Valan couldn't help the laughter. She couldn't help the merry amusement nor the smile that graced her muzzle. "Oh, my dear; it is quite alright. It's not the worst thing I have ever been titled, I assure you." There was a warmth that blossomed in that cold heart to hear, to witness this beautiful, little creature laugh with her. To hear their voices, unbridled, join together. Valan could almost forget this wasn't a meeting between Predator and Prey for a moment. For a moment, Valan could almost pretend she was just enjoying her time, once more as a proper, young heiress, a lady who enjoyed walks in the rose gardens by the daylight. Who chased after a scruffy, handsome stallion who tended the gardens. Who hadn't died the fateful night of her wedding.
As soon as she had spoken of her death, she knew that things would change. Her gaze danced about the room before jolting back to Thomasin when she suggested that Valan was merely participating in a joke, even if an unsightly one. Valan didn't smile, however. Instead, her eyes turned mournful, apologetic, like roses downcast and dying. "I shan't lie." Was her only response, shifting slightly, her gaze moving away from Thomasin again, the small and subtle movements for show, and not a necessity. Like any Vampiress, she was capable of holding perfectly still a living (or unliving) statuette.
But she didn't lie, continued to speak, even as she could see Thomasin, from the corner of her eye, the silence, the transfixed expression, the audible swallow picked up by the ears of a predator. She watched those eyes dart towards the doorway, the twitch and tremble of muscles, the increasing pounding of a heart prepared to fly to safety, preparing to rush the body with the adrenaline needed to attempt a move for survival.
Valan didn't move, didn't even return her attention directly to Thomasin, but she visibly flinched at the nervous giggles, knowing she was the root, the cause of this fear. Shame flashed across her features, her gaze clouding with a self-loathing as she knew this was the part where the prey realized the predator shared space with them. This was the part where the quarry would try to run away, and a typical predator would chase. But . . . Valan wasn't normal. She wasn't a predator. She was just trapped in a predator's body. A rabbit that was masquerading as a fox.
When the little lamb finally spoke, Valan didn't respond right away, noting how the young mare quivered, seeming to grow more certain of the danger she thought she was in. "I once was rather sheltered myself. Still am, by some standards." She mused quietly, gently, as she took a soft breath in, unnecessarily breathing air when her body didn't require it. The other mare turned to face her, and Valan found her breath halting.
The vampiress seemed frozen, afraid even to breathe. At least she scared the little lamb away, especially as Thomasin spoke. The vampire tilted her head, finally taking a short breath, only if to keep up composure, her gaze trouble, hesitating. "But they have a place in this grand design. What sort of place do I have in this world?" The vampire asked softly, turning her gaze up to Caligo, "I often wondered, what the gods think of me now . . . What do they see when they look down upon me." She turned her attention back towards Thomasin, her gaze touching first the knees that shook and then the tears that welled in her eyes.
"You say I deserve praise, that you see no monster. Yet you quiver like a leaf in the wind, tears waiting to fall. You fear me, do you not, Miss Thomasin?" Valan's gaze lowered to her dainty hooves, kicking out at the floor beneath them, "I would not fault you if you did. It would be rather self-preserving of you, in fact." The vampire glanced up slowly, the wild curls of her forelock shadowing those soft, pale pink eyes, "I shan't chase if you were to leave, I assure you." Her features softened, delicate and forlorn, "I'm used to being ran away from. I certainly prefer it to being attacked." She shook her head, the soft sound of the golden chainlinks clanked together against her gray, marbling hide, "But I do swear, I would not chase . . ." Her gaze lifted, earnest, almost pleading to be believed, "I may be in a predator's body, but I could never prey upon another. I could never bring myself to harm, to end a life again." She flinches at the admission. She'd done it once before, even if she does not offer an explanation nor ask for forgiveness. "You ask me what sort of monster I am . . . as I said, I shan't tell you any lies.
"I'm a vampire, Miss Thomasin. But while I am a monster, I swear, solemnly I swear upon my own half-life, beneath the statue of Caligo herself, at least she cast me from this world for falsehoods in her presence; I am not a predator. I am not one to cause you, or any other harm." Valan just desperately wanted a friend.
@Thomasin
Monster, wretch, murderer, villain, disaster, danger. She was so much more than just a concubine who fluttered the streets for a bit of wealth and company. She was so much more indentured to the night, trapped in its web, forbidden from entering the daylight, lest she feels the burn of that righteous light. This precious little lamb, how Valan envied her for her life, youth, innocence, and fragility; oh how Valan envied her.
She could see the embarrassment color the little mare's cheeks, see the horror she felt as she realized her mistake. The other moved to apologize, and Valan couldn't help the laughter. She couldn't help the merry amusement nor the smile that graced her muzzle. "Oh, my dear; it is quite alright. It's not the worst thing I have ever been titled, I assure you." There was a warmth that blossomed in that cold heart to hear, to witness this beautiful, little creature laugh with her. To hear their voices, unbridled, join together. Valan could almost forget this wasn't a meeting between Predator and Prey for a moment. For a moment, Valan could almost pretend she was just enjoying her time, once more as a proper, young heiress, a lady who enjoyed walks in the rose gardens by the daylight. Who chased after a scruffy, handsome stallion who tended the gardens. Who hadn't died the fateful night of her wedding.
As soon as she had spoken of her death, she knew that things would change. Her gaze danced about the room before jolting back to Thomasin when she suggested that Valan was merely participating in a joke, even if an unsightly one. Valan didn't smile, however. Instead, her eyes turned mournful, apologetic, like roses downcast and dying. "I shan't lie." Was her only response, shifting slightly, her gaze moving away from Thomasin again, the small and subtle movements for show, and not a necessity. Like any Vampiress, she was capable of holding perfectly still a living (or unliving) statuette.
But she didn't lie, continued to speak, even as she could see Thomasin, from the corner of her eye, the silence, the transfixed expression, the audible swallow picked up by the ears of a predator. She watched those eyes dart towards the doorway, the twitch and tremble of muscles, the increasing pounding of a heart prepared to fly to safety, preparing to rush the body with the adrenaline needed to attempt a move for survival.
Valan didn't move, didn't even return her attention directly to Thomasin, but she visibly flinched at the nervous giggles, knowing she was the root, the cause of this fear. Shame flashed across her features, her gaze clouding with a self-loathing as she knew this was the part where the prey realized the predator shared space with them. This was the part where the quarry would try to run away, and a typical predator would chase. But . . . Valan wasn't normal. She wasn't a predator. She was just trapped in a predator's body. A rabbit that was masquerading as a fox.
When the little lamb finally spoke, Valan didn't respond right away, noting how the young mare quivered, seeming to grow more certain of the danger she thought she was in. "I once was rather sheltered myself. Still am, by some standards." She mused quietly, gently, as she took a soft breath in, unnecessarily breathing air when her body didn't require it. The other mare turned to face her, and Valan found her breath halting.
The vampiress seemed frozen, afraid even to breathe. At least she scared the little lamb away, especially as Thomasin spoke. The vampire tilted her head, finally taking a short breath, only if to keep up composure, her gaze trouble, hesitating. "But they have a place in this grand design. What sort of place do I have in this world?" The vampire asked softly, turning her gaze up to Caligo, "I often wondered, what the gods think of me now . . . What do they see when they look down upon me." She turned her attention back towards Thomasin, her gaze touching first the knees that shook and then the tears that welled in her eyes.
"You say I deserve praise, that you see no monster. Yet you quiver like a leaf in the wind, tears waiting to fall. You fear me, do you not, Miss Thomasin?" Valan's gaze lowered to her dainty hooves, kicking out at the floor beneath them, "I would not fault you if you did. It would be rather self-preserving of you, in fact." The vampire glanced up slowly, the wild curls of her forelock shadowing those soft, pale pink eyes, "I shan't chase if you were to leave, I assure you." Her features softened, delicate and forlorn, "I'm used to being ran away from. I certainly prefer it to being attacked." She shook her head, the soft sound of the golden chainlinks clanked together against her gray, marbling hide, "But I do swear, I would not chase . . ." Her gaze lifted, earnest, almost pleading to be believed, "I may be in a predator's body, but I could never prey upon another. I could never bring myself to harm, to end a life again." She flinches at the admission. She'd done it once before, even if she does not offer an explanation nor ask for forgiveness. "You ask me what sort of monster I am . . . as I said, I shan't tell you any lies.
"I'm a vampire, Miss Thomasin. But while I am a monster, I swear, solemnly I swear upon my own half-life, beneath the statue of Caligo herself, at least she cast me from this world for falsehoods in her presence; I am not a predator. I am not one to cause you, or any other harm." Valan just desperately wanted a friend.
@Thomasin
for goodness sake
where is my self control?
if home is where my heart is
then my heart has lost all hope
where is my self control?
if home is where my heart is
then my heart has lost all hope
