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Private  - Through the looking glass

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Played by Offline Dyzzie [PM] Posts: 30 — Threads: 11
Signos: 25
Dusk Court Merchant
Female [She/Her/Hers]  |  9 [Year 502 Spring]  |  15.3 hh  |  Hth: 10 — Atk: 10 — Exp: 19  |    Active Magic: N/A  |    Bonded: N/A
#1


A s t a
do you believe in reinarnation?
'cause i thought i saw your soul
I'd heard about these portals.
They could take you anywhere, any time, but it was determined by some wild, chaotic magic.
I didn't need to go anywhere. I'd already been to too many places.

But there was something about them that had me . . . intrigued. Not curious per say, I was old enough to know that curiosity could lead you into some bad situations, dangerous places. I don't let my curiosity spur me along. But my intrigue? That was a little different. I'd allowed myself to gather information first, make a decision that was rationalized out for the threat level this portal thing could cause me. I didn't plan to let this life end so soon - I hated the stupid 'starting out new' of each life. I wasn't ready to be an awkward foal again, no thank you. So, that meant taking my time to carefully ensure I knew about the place, the location I was going. Making sure I knew the threats and risks. I like being alive, after all - Not that I wouldn't accept death if I could stay dead [I'd rather let that happen than be alive after all]. 

Where did this inner monologue turn so dark?
Right. Portals. Right.

So, I'd made the decision to try these portals today, that's really what I'm getting at. Not sure what to expect, but I've been a good little mare, sitting quietly in my studies, being the perfect little lady of house Stendahl. Though, at Five [this year no less!] Can I really be called 'the little lady'? Sure, I knew mother was the Lady of the house Stendahl . . . no, I better not even attempt to bring this up. I don't want them trying to marry me off. I can just hear mother now, 'She's ready to be her own lady of a house!' Father would panic over the idea of their blessing leaving home. Mother would cry before trying to find a husband willing to live in their home, so they could keep me close. Would their desire to hold onto their trinket daughter save me from an unloving marriage this life? 

I didn't want to even fathom what my future would bring.
I don't want to imagine in it. What they could do. What they could decide. Where I could end up in a years time.

I wasn't ready to 'tie the knot' and get bogged down with foals for some new master I would call husband. Perhaps if I acted up a bit, my parents would rationalize I wasn't yet 'proper lady' enough for marriage . . . or worse, they could decide that I needed a man in my life to temper me. A husband who could take on the duty of making sure I was where I was supposed to be, behaving how I was expected to behave. I suddenly feel regretful to have not taken the time to deduce my parents responses better . . . who knew distancing yourself from your parents at a young age would come back in the form of this hesitation. My next life, I might bond a little more with them, just so I can manipulate them a little better. After all . . . how does that saying go again, right: You catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar. Might as well control the situations earlier, rather than be struggling against them later in life.

Of course, I also remember the lessons of not to plan out your next life before you get there.
You never know the situation you'll be born into.
But, I've done it again. Got off topic, off thought.

I'm supposed to be sneaking out to the portals.

I'm still stuck in my room.
The air is crisp as I open the window to my top-floor bedroom. I have an entire wing to myself, but I'm usually kept closer to the top floor, I think it's my head-guard's method of trying to keep me caged. They're not as fooled as my parents are, who think I can do no wrong . . . my guards realize I like to sneak off and escape. It rarely succeeded, however. I was resourceful, I'd learned how to be like that when I was only a couple dozen of reincarnated lives in, when I still kept track of what life I was in - I hadn't realized there would be a limit just yet. Their was a soft sound of crickets chirping, and I was relieved to see it was still early, still dark out. It was easier to sneak out then, when the guards would still be sleepy, or if I was really looking - actually asleep. I snuck towards my chambers' door, and slowly opened it. A guard stood outside, jolting up right, and blinking sleep from his eyes. One of the younger ones, easier to manipulate thankfully. 

I wasn't familiar with this one though, so he must be fairly new. I blinked my eyes up at him as he frowned, "I'm dreadfully sorry for being a bother, I'm just a touch famished, I didn't eat much of dinner last night. I was hoping to go to the kitchens and just get some bread and honey, or perhaps some fruit?" He seemed to hesitate, and so I turned my smile up, tilting my head to the side as the gem against the bridge of my nose reflecting the torch lights around us, "You're more than welcome to accompany me, nothing will happen if you're there right - and we're in my family's manor?" He looked down at me, and I could see him starting to waiver, so I finished it off with a dazzlingly smile, eyes twinkling with delight, and a touch of awe - I could usually play these younger guards quite well, "After all, a strong, capable guard like yourself will make sure I'm safe, right?" They should have explained to these poor saps that the ones they had to guard against was my own self.

But he fell for the line, bolstering up and 'leading' me to the kitchens. It was a short walk, but it took me to the ground level, and right before he was about to accompany me into the kitchens, I turned back to him, my ears twitching, "Oh, are my parents up? I think I hear someone in the main parlor. My parents are never up this early though. How o-" I didn't even get to finish before the idiot was racing off to go see what I was 'hearing' at the other end of the hallway - clearly deciding the threat was important to deal with. So I trotted my way into the kitchens, while exchanging an innocent smile with the exasperated cook who was used to my antics (and an accomplice for when I couldn't shake the guards who knew better). The elderly mare opened the back door, even as she shoved a pack of food my way. I caught the surprised gift, lifting it over my back, carefully arranging the pack and my shawl so that the fabric wouldn't be trapped uncomfortably against it. Some snacks for the road, as well as a blanket if you get chilly - who knows where you're going today. I smiled warmly at the old cook, nuzzling her side with a smile, before I ventured out the back door, through the vegetable garden, and then through the servant's entrance out the manor perimeter.

With a friendly face in the kitchens, sneaking out was a lot easier. As soon as I was clear of the fence meant to keep me inside, and others out, I was running through the dark, If I could make it to the cliffs, I could follow the curve of the sea to where the portals would be (and have a perfect view point to see the sunrise from). My hooves carried me on, as I made my way through the Terrastella, and as the cliffs came into sight the sun was just beginning to rise. I smile slightly, unable to keep myself from searching the distance, for the area I was looking for - and there I spotted it - the portal. My hooves carried me along the edge of the cliffs, carefully trekking from landscape to landscape, around the edges of the ocean until I reached the path to the portal. I took to it with no hesitation. 

It was a sense of adventure I hadn't properly felt in a while.
Not for a few lifetimes yet.
Something new, something unknown.

I passed through the portal with a grin, not hesitating, not bothering to feel fear. The path on the other side did cause me to pause, however. It was dark and small, only a few feet wide, and I could sense a significant danger on either side, keeping you on the path. I didn't bother to go against the magic, not wanting to see what it would be capable of if I did get too close to the edges. So, instead, I kept walking, forward along this unknown path. But what was waiting for me at the end, I didn't expect an eye. All around me were a series of portals. Five in total. I'd overheard the reports given to my parents, about portals in certain locations - and I'd seen the one in the swamp briefly myself. These seemed to be like those. I stood still, tilting my head to one side, wondering which one to take. There were quite a few choices before me after all.

FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Faction
Notes:: Still figuring out how to play her proper, she's so in-depth, so take pity on me :P Figured she and Faction could figure out which path they wanna take together.
flashing and dancing on the horizon
shades of jade and emerald
       
Artist Credit to Bingo










Played by Offline Chaosy [PM] Posts: 15 — Threads: 2
Signos: 5
Day Court Battlemage
Female [She/Her/Hers]  |  11 [Year 500 Spring]  |  18 hh  |  Hth: 18 — Atk: 22 — Exp: 29  |    Active Magic: Necrobotany  |    Bonded: Sors (Necrobotanic Maned Chupacabra)
#2



The sunlight streaming through the window in her room caused the simple mare to wake with a groan. She hated to be woken by the bright light that heralded the morning, though she left the window uncovered to make sure she didnt sleep too long. Shaking her head, her acid eyes traced the familiar room as she searched for her companion. Faction heaved herself to her hooves, taking a moment to stretch the muscles that had lain dormant for the night. She then took the time to seek out her dearest friend.

Entering the garden, a smile crossed her face as she saw him sleeping in the early dawn sunlight. The idea of it was amusing, both as something she had seen other canines do, as well as due to the plant matter that made up his muscles and tendons now that he was no longer your typical maned wolf. It made sense that he craved the light and Faction loved that he took the time for those pleasures.

"Sors..." She called softly as she ran her muzzle along his exposed hip bone. Many were startled by the clearly visible bones, noting the bleached white before the richness of the greenery that made him whole... or as whole as he could be having been dead. Faction had given up much of her power to bring him back, spending her magic to give him his soul and the power to live alongside her for as long as she did. That was one drawback of the gift. The moment that Faction passed into the realm of the dead, Faction would as well.

The canine lifted his head, vivid green orbs lighting up the eye sockets as he woke. "Good morning. What is the plan for our day?" The canine asked, stretching and getting to his paws as he waited for her to respond.

"I want to investigate the portals further. I like where we are, but at the same time... I have questions. Will those predators find a way through? Are we living here on limited time?" She murmured, shaking her head and turning to lead the way.

The pair moved through the realm with agility, making their way to a portal with no forethought as to which one. As they approached, she saw another equine enter the portal. Picking up the pace, Faction followed into the portal. Sors worked hard to stay at her side, teeth closing on a lock of her tail to keep them together. He was a worrier to say the least. When they reached the other, a mare by the scent that the canine could barely detect, Faction stopped.

"Hello... Are you from another realm as well? Brought here by a portal?" She asked, her words curious and blunt, but not unkind.

"Faction's Words" - "Sors' words"
@Asta
Notes: ---









Played by Offline Dyzzie [PM] Posts: 30 — Threads: 11
Signos: 25
Dusk Court Merchant
Female [She/Her/Hers]  |  9 [Year 502 Spring]  |  15.3 hh  |  Hth: 10 — Atk: 10 — Exp: 19  |    Active Magic: N/A  |    Bonded: N/A
#3


A s t a
do you believe in reinarnation?
'cause i thought i saw your soul
When you live inside a cage, you have to become adept at surviving it.
There are a variety of intricate details to take heed of, survival skills to master.

You must be the pretty bird, singing their tune, while also keeping an eye out for the cat whose waiting for the master to walk away.

I've had plenty of time to master the art of it all. Though the most adept trick to learn is awareness . . . of everything. Every little aspect, every random noise, every flash of movement. Always be watching, always be cataloging. So you'll never be caught with your back to the danger. And don't fool yourself into believing danger isn't hiding behind every corner. Because it is. I've seen it, experienced it. It's alarming just how many times life is cut short by a friend's hand holding the blade, just as it is a random stranger. War begets war, but nature begets nature. And it's in anyone's nature to be evil. Not even myself is immune. I've done terrible things in different lifetimes, in the desperate claim of survival. I've lived in kill or be killed scenarios. I've been forced to do everything I could to keep myself and others alive. And I've seen my hard work turn to dust as well.

Perhaps life is the ultimate true enemy. Or Karma? Or whatever superstition you might believe to govern your life and what happens to you.

But my lack of faith aside, I've learned to rely on no one but myself, and in the process, learned to harden my heart to another's plight. Did it make me a little cold, perhaps? But, when in the middle of winter, you don't feel that ice as much when you're already frozen in your core too. You do what you can to survive, we all do, and if fending for myself first makes me a bad guy, then you walk a few hundred lifetimes in my hooves and see if you come out of it with a different outlook on life. And if I hear one peep about 'looking for help,' you'll be seeing your next lifetime sooner than you expected. I don't need someone to talk to, to help me. I need a sure way out of this repeating cycle, a promise that the next time I hit 'Go,' I won't be handed another 200 in monopoly money and sent around the board again. I want an end-game sign in my future. That's the only help I need.

Hooves. Not just hooves. I'm pulled out of my pity-party (I'm realistic, I'm not so shallow to not deny what it was). Someone, more than one someone is coming.

Instantly I feel my spine straighten, I feel my shoulders tense, and the mask I wear in public slides down. 'Resting Bitch Face' I had heard one maid call it when she thought I wasn't paying attention (I was, I always am). A quick catalog of the steps tell me it's not a guard coming to pull me back to house Stendahl, but it doesn't help to relax my stance. If anything, I'm more odd at ease for a stranger. But a greeting is called forth, and I turn slowly, narrowing my eyes at the mare. She's taller than I am, and immediately I shift into a more defensive position should I need it. I'd had too many lives were trusting a stranger first resulted in death.

This is the first life where I'm face to face with whatever that thing is. Bones peaking out among ferns and moss.

What a fan-fucking-tabulous bouquet. Better call the shop that delivered it and ask for a refund, clearly, something went wrong.

Sure, I was stuck in a never-ending cycle, but at least I was always alive. That thing clearly not supposed to be. Even the green glow to the eyes was creeping me out. I force my gaze away from it, back up at the mare, and twist my features at her words. Another realm? I'd been through more realms than this being could probably ever imagine. Lived countless of lives through a variety of worlds, universes. Some had horses as supreme creatures, others used us as nothing more than a tool in another being's life. Some forms I took were distinctly NOT equine as well. But this time, I was of this world, and I had certainly never crossed between realms in any life that I had been in previously . . . Not that I was aware of at least.

I glance between mare and gardener's-project-gone-wrong, before snorting roughly. Crap, I'd been quiet too long.

"No."

There we go, good job, Asta. Way to be a bitch.

I don't bother apologizing for the rough tone, or one-word response, my attention had returned to the canine abomination. Mother would have a conniption if she saw it. Squealing about rabies, and disease, and who knows what else. I wonder if I can borrow it. Set it loose in the manor. Sit back and watch the chaos unfold. The clean-up after wouldn't be worth it, however. And if it became proven it was my doing . . . I didn't want to risk whatever decision my parents would make to correct my improper behavior. A lady is always supposed to behave after all.

I lose interest, turning back towards the paths in front of me, before pausing, and glancing back at the mare with the botanical monster, "You said you came through a portal? One of these ones? Or different." Huh, probably could have tried to be a bit nicer to get the information, but it did seem like a useful means to decide if walking through any of these would be a risk to my own health. While I might yearn for a more permanent death, that didn't mean I was ready to die in this life. I'd just start back over again anyways. And that was not something I was ready for.

I moved closer, stalking in front of each portal, silently taking in the scents, trying to decide which one to go through. It didn't make the decisions any easier to decide, however. If anything, it became more and more difficult with each passing moment. How do you choose which portal to enter? And how could I guarantee that I'd be able to return, as well? Or when? My eyes suddenly cut back to the mare and her odd walking plant. Maybe I could utilize a test subject.


FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Faction
Notes:: I forgot how self-serving she can be . . . .
flashing and dancing on the horizon
shades of jade and emerald
       
Artist Credit to Bingo










Played by Offline Chaosy [PM] Posts: 15 — Threads: 2
Signos: 5
Day Court Battlemage
Female [She/Her/Hers]  |  11 [Year 500 Spring]  |  18 hh  |  Hth: 18 — Atk: 22 — Exp: 29  |    Active Magic: Necrobotany  |    Bonded: Sors (Necrobotanic Maned Chupacabra)
#4



The other mare seemed to stiffen, her features schooled into a mask that made Faction want to laugh. Then the focus of her gaze stuck to Sors. There was a moment of protective anger at the idea of her staring at him, but the canine brushed her leg with his side and calmed her.

"No... Got it." She said with little inflection. Faction shared a glance with her dearest friend and then focused back on the sunset hued mare before her. As she watched, the other mare's attention clearly went back to Sors and Faction debated if she should explain... If she would even be interested in his story.

"He doesnt have rabies... if that is what you are worried about." She remarked dryly, flicking an ear as she watched the other mare assessing her creation. He was her pride and joy, as well as the one companion that had never left her side. There was a motherly protectiveness that made her want to step over him to protect him from the stranger.

At her questions, Faction paused and tried to figure out how to explain it. "A different one... to begin with. We were running from a pack of carnivores when we stumbled upon it and jumped through. That one brought us to the desert, but it seemed very similar to this one." She answered, not bothering to hide anything. Faction wasnt sure if she liked the other mare yet, but she would at least give her a chance. It was more than anyone had done for her. The knowledge was a knife to the stomach and she frowned slightly as she dipped her head to ruffle the necrobotanic creation.

"Faction's Words" - "Sors' words"
@Asta
Notes: lol These two will either click well or absolutely hate each other... and I am not sure which yet XD









Played by Offline Dyzzie [PM] Posts: 30 — Threads: 11
Signos: 25
Dusk Court Merchant
Female [She/Her/Hers]  |  9 [Year 502 Spring]  |  15.3 hh  |  Hth: 10 — Atk: 10 — Exp: 19  |    Active Magic: N/A  |    Bonded: N/A
#5


A s t a
do you believe in reinarnation?
'cause i thought i saw your soul
This child didn't know how to conceal.

Well, perhaps not a child compared to my current age . . . but that's besides the point. She's still a child to me, and infant first tasting the world with each fragile step.

I've walked the world for so long, my steps have grown weary, and now fall into the same path - time after time. A trek, a walk I've carved over the years. The same false smiles. The same flawed structures of society. The same distance I keep others. I live life on repeat.

How boring I've become.

For a moment I let myself remember, when I was more, when I meant something. When I saw this curse as a gift, and used it to try my hardest to make things better for others. When I wasn't afraid of death, so I'd charge into battle. Why fear death when you come back? But time continues to move forward, and where others move up and move on. From one life to the next, never remembering what came before . . .

I'm trapped in the ice, wishing for it to thaw, to let them join them in a future where my mind isn't connected to my lifetimes.

This child before me is lucky. But her attitude already lends her to not be lucky for long. Even as I turn, as I glance at this mare, ready to be polite, or as close to polite as I can get, I really hadn't been looking for an interruption, I'm instead treated with a mare who wears her emotions on her sleeve. Her features flicker into amusement, even as I school mine. I narrow my eyes. Anger flashes briefly when I see the . . . thing . . . she walks beside, and I want to scoff.

But her tone does amuse me, ever so much. Not an amusement of joy, but like a twisted knife in your heart, and you're amused because you saw them reach for it and was just waiting for them to prove that this was their intention. Her tone was my proof that I didn't need to get close to others, there was no need for friends, not when they all die eventually anyway.

There's no need for connections - I will outlive them. There's no need for love . . . I know the heart ache at the end of those three words. I'm perfectly happy on my - oh, the girl is talking. I return my attention, and I snort as her dry tone, Of course he doesn't, that disease attacks central nervous systems. I'm not entirely certain what . . . . he? is . . . but I highly doubt he has a working system of that regard. My retort was nonchalant - as dismissive as her own dry tone had been.

But really, the child shouldn't be so eager to defend her weird friend. Why worry about what others think? Perhaps she hasn't grown enough to realize that yet? My assessment was hardly a condemption of that creature. If I thought it should be dead, well, where would that leave me? Who should have been dead of mind long ago, risen as a new individual with no recollection of the past. One soul with no memories of what came before. Didn't mean the oddity didn't disturb me, but I had been raised a lady of high society for the past couple hundred life times.

I turn away again, back to the portals, and the girl speaks. I momentarily wonder if referring to her as girl and child, when she is older than I appear to be is disrespectful. I don't care enough to change the silent titles, not like I say them out loud, after all. She does give me information, however. Of a portal taking her elsewhere. I remained silent, before glancing back at her with emotionless eyes, I see. You are still alive, so it did not harm you. I nod once, before glancing back towards the portals, I don't quite see the allure to these portals, but I can certainly say I'm not afraid of it ending my life, question remains of which one is likely safest to transverse through." I was speaking to myself, although out loud, once more pacing before stopping in front of the one that reminded me of a forest. Have you travelled through any of these yet? I ask her, before shrugging, Oh, don't bother answering, gathering information only helps for so much. I might as well see for it myself.

And so I step through the portal, not caring if she and her botanical nightmare follow.


FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Faction
Notes:: . . .
flashing and dancing on the horizon
shades of jade and emerald
       
Artist Credit to Bingo










Played by Offline Chaosy [PM] Posts: 15 — Threads: 2
Signos: 5
Day Court Battlemage
Female [She/Her/Hers]  |  11 [Year 500 Spring]  |  18 hh  |  Hth: 18 — Atk: 22 — Exp: 29  |    Active Magic: Necrobotany  |    Bonded: Sors (Necrobotanic Maned Chupacabra)
#6



Faction's face cooled as she took in the creature before her again. She wanted to snap with the venom of some of her past creations, but careful control kept the words from escaping her lips. Sors leaned against her to help her, though Faction could tell the canid was not thrilled either. She had tried to be pleasant, to make a friend. But clearly this mare thought herself too high for that sort of thing.

"He is a living being... Thanks to magic anyway." She replied cooly, though a part of her wanted to gush over the magic that it had taken to bring the once pure maned wolf back to life. He was her proudest creation and dearest friend. "He does not need such systems with the magic that fuels him and keeps him living." She finished, the canine standing still and silent at her side. Why should she give this rude mare any of her excitement over the skills it had taken. She clearly didnt care and Faction was not about to bother with trying to change her rude mind.

When the mare decided to head off on her own without caring about what Faction had to say, the slightly insane mare snorted in laughter and let her leave. Turning to Sors, she flicked an ear and shook her head. "Not the reaction that I expected... But good riddance. She was clearly no one that I want to know if she is going to be so rude about every little thing." She remarked to the canine.

"Agreed. But there is still plenty of time to explore with out the stuck up mare slowing us down." Sors laughed softly, his mouth hanging open slightly as he did. He took the lead and headed off on another path as far from the cold creature as they could travel.


"Faction's Words" - "Sors' words"
@Asta
Notes: well then XD No clicking here!









Played by Offline Dyzzie [PM] Posts: 30 — Threads: 11
Signos: 25
Dusk Court Merchant
Female [She/Her/Hers]  |  9 [Year 502 Spring]  |  15.3 hh  |  Hth: 10 — Atk: 10 — Exp: 19  |    Active Magic: N/A  |    Bonded: N/A
#7


A s t a
do you believe in reinarnation?
'cause i thought i saw your soul
Ah, the child was so tempermental.

Or, perhaps in experienced? Naive?
A quiet soul not used to the travels, the inroads of despair too long a life could lead.
Deep down, I even felt a little angry . . . jealous . . . of that innocence.

One day she would die, she would move on to the afterlife, or be reborn into a new body, a new start to life. Either way, she'd be free of this old one, new, fresh . . . she wouldn't remember the pains or heartbreaks, the fears or friends lost. She'd have a new chance . . . and I envied her for that ability. For that ability to just be done, just move on, just leave one life behind. No matter how hard I slammed the doors, no matter how I died . . . I never could escape my cycle, my constant pain, my heartache when I would cross paths with those I once knew.

It hurt . . . It hurt more than any physical wound I had taken.
And I've grown so old, so tired of it all.

But this child wasn't to know. Wasn't to understand where I came from. I'd keep my distance, my cool, my calm. But . . . I'd lost my ability to be social somewhere along the way? It's easier in high function events, where everyone is stuck up, trying to out do each other in fancy dresses and cocktails. But in day-to-day scenarios . . . I was adrift in a sea of pleasantries, and unable to drink any of it.

The girl was cool, explaining that he was a living being - of magic, not needing systems, and I sigh, heavily, Yes, exactly, which is why Rabies can have no effect on him. He has no system for the virus to infect, thus meaning anyone who worries he might carry it would be a trifle idiot, now wouldn't they." Damn, I couldn't be nice if I tried, could I? Even that was a little snooty. Maybe I should practice the occasional pleasant conversation in front of my mirror, rehearse smiles, and how to sound . . . nice.

This was exhausting.
I should just continue my solitude.

It seemed easier that way.

Solitude it is. I turned away, towards the portal. I wasn't surprised when she didn't follow, not really. So when she ventured away, I ventured further into the portal, to learn, to be alone, and to feel my comfort levels return to normal. It was better this way anyway. Because if I had made friends, when she died, It'd have been more painful, than to have her speak cooly to me any time she saw me again.

It was always better this way.

Solitude and Isolation.

FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Faction
Notes:: Yep, this didn't work xP
flashing and dancing on the horizon
shades of jade and emerald
       
Artist Credit to Bingo










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