[AW] It's all FUN and GAMES, till somebody FALLS in love

[Below Zero]

round and around like a horse on a carousel
we go, will i catch up to love? i can never tell

B e l o w Z e r o

i know chasing after you is like a fairytale
but i feel like i'm glued on tight to this carousel

The two pups laughed, eyes bright as one chased after the other in youthful innocence. As soon as a muzzle would clasp a fin, a fluke, a limb - anything, a shrill cry of Your it! would announce the switch of chaser and chased. Bel laughed, as she dived out of the way, flipping her tail as quick as she could as she angled towards the sea floor of the shallow reef she was playing in. Shard laughed as well, his red eyes crinkling, and his grin goofy, as both pups collapsed in a heap on the floor, watching the fish swim by peacefully. They had collapsed in one of their well known piles, a tangle of limbs and fins, and Bel hooked her head over his shoulder, breathing heavily, I won, just so you know. He told her, and she glanced up at his grinning face, scoffing Nuh-uh, I won! You were chaser way more than I was! She argued back, causing him to laugh and tug on the fin that ran down her spine, No! You were chaser more than me! I also caught you way faster than you could catch me! The two succumbed into good nature arguing, all the while cuddled together on the floor of the reef.

The mare made a slight noise of distress in her sleep, rolling over on the bedding in the shallows of the swamp. Her muzzle was pushed beneath her limb, burrowing in on herself, but she didn't wake as the visions of her, of her and Shard plagued her mind. 

The yearlings grinned at each other, ignoring the calls of caution from their parents. They were older now, more grown up, and clearly knew better than their parents. They missed the annoyed sneer of Shard's father's face, but neither cared either. Their friendship was far to precious, special, sacred. Friendship on the cusp of something more. They raced each other through the snow and ice, around pine trees covered in ivory, First one to the watering hole wins! Bel doesn't remember when his voice had begun to pitch so much lower, a rumbling pitch that had a tendency to make her heart flutter in her chest. But he was also her best friend, and so she instead grinned, tossing him a wink that had him almost stumble, Then you better make sure you can catch up, huh? She called before kicking up her speed. He laughed loudly, his laugh echoing around, warming her heart in a way that kept the chill of the arctic out. They tied, skidding to a stop, and trotting through the tree line of the watering hole. They're hooves danced in the water of the shallows, kicking up steam as the water vapors trailed up around their hooves, warming their limbs and chasing the chill of the arctic. Where to next, Belle of the Sea? The playful nickname wasn't an uncommon one from his muzzle, and yet it still stuttered her heart, even as she pretended it had no effect, Ah, my dear Shard, I believe the next point of adventure would be to follow the creek. First one to find something interesting wins? He was instantly grinning, didn't even bother responding before he took off. It was always a constant challenge between them, neither giving up, both constantly trying to prove themselves to the other. Never mind their hearts were already caught well and true.

Silent tears were streaking from her eyes, and another noise left her muzzle as she twisted, she turned, her muzzle searching for a body that wouldn't be there - hadn't been there in years. Yuki's head lifted from the water, a concerned croon. She slid from the depths, swimming up to her bonded, and wrapping around her, nuzzling and chittering her icicles in comfort. The contact soothed the sleeping mare for the moment, but the memories continued.

The two slid to a stop as the bear rose up on it's hindlegs. The two exchanged wide-eyed expressions, trying to slowly move back, move away. The bear had been startled, the bear had a cub with it too, and both knew the danger. As they tried to make themselves smaller, they backed up - and the bear lunged between them. Shard and Bel split apart, both diving out of the way. But it was Bel that would catch it's attention when she saw Shard stumble, Shard! Be careful! The shout was all that was needed, the bear was advancing, focused solely on Bel. She was backing away, hooves sliding on the ice, unable to get a purchase, and as the bear lunged again, her eyes met Shard's in fear. He moved faster, more fluid than she'd ever seen, and the fire in his eyes, the sneering anger on his face had her heart clutch. He dived between her and the bear, a scream leaving his muzzle as the claws ripped into his hip, shallow and glancing off. Her heart hammered in her chest, as he caught his footing, he spun, stabbing at the beast with his horns, shoving it back with pain towards it's youth. The cry of the baby was enough to distract the bear, and the two Treaders ran from the scene. The moment they were hidden in the trees, Bel spun on him, worrying over his wound, Shard! You're hurt! Why would you do that . . . You . . . . you saved my life. He pushed her muzzle away with his own, before lifting her face so she was looking at him. is expression betrayed the slight pain, but was earnest to express himself, How could I not, Belle of the Sea? It's you . . . it's always for you. I couldn't let anything happen to you . . . Bel, I couldn't bare it if anything happened to you. Bel's muzzle was going dry as she stared into those impossibly deep red eyes, his muzzle turned, caressing her cheek, and she leaned into the touch, Do you remember when we were just a few months shy of a year old? The elders spoke to us about the mating bond? Bel, I knew from that moment who my forever would be. Of course I was going to keep that bear away from you. My future doesn't exist unless you're by my side. You're it for me, Bel. You've always been it. She didn't hesitate. Her chest was pressed to his, her muzzle tucked against his side, her forehead pressed into his neck. He returned the affectionate gesture, wrapping his neck around hers, holding her close to his side, their vapors trailing up, merging and entertaining together, Oh Shard, you could do so much better than me . . . You're the next Triton . . . His laugh startled her, and she looked up as he nuzzled her forehead, Stupid mare, the tone was one of fondness, and she couldn't help but smile, I don't care about any of that. I just need you. Forever.

Those words had been her everything. Their bonding had started that moment. It was wonderful, it was magical, it was the start of what would have been their happy-ever-after for the rest of their lives. But then it would go so wrong, so sour . . . an interrupted bonding, a ruined bonding. Not by him, not by her. By another. By the council who saw her unfit. Who saw her unworthy.

She raced towards him after the ceremony, practically jumping at him, even as he turned his body so he could support her properly during their collision. The pod around them laughed, used to the affectionate couple that was blooming to life around them, Shard! I'm so proud of you! You've done it, you've taken over. Should I start calling you Triton Shard?" Her words were playful, but they were proud too, so proud of him, unbelievably proud of him. He chuckled, nuzzling her warmly, You don't need to call me anything but yours. He was always so much more cheesy than she was, but she laughed, and he grinned in triumph. He was about to comment again before his father spoke sneeringly to the both of them, You need to control her better, son. You are Triton now. It is unbecoming of your 'bonded' to be so open. Others will look to you for guidance, how will they find it when you behave like this. Bel's head dropped, her shoulders bowed.I'm sorry father, we were just excited, we weren't thinking. Don't talk about her like that. We don't need your negativity. This is a happy moment, and we have the right to celebrate in our own way. We'll watch ourselves better, Father, right Bel? So, how about you take your opinions else where, and let us enjoy this moment.

Something was wrong. The words were muddled, like two voices speaking over, but she let her mind settle on those louder ones, of Shard telling his father off. It warmed her heart, instead of icing it the way the real memory happened. The dreams began to change then, her mind wanting to soothe the distress it was giving her. The dreams trying to rewrite the history as if none of it happened. Moments of loneliness while Shard worked now turned to him taking her with her, and showing her the ropes. Lonely nights of sleeping alone in their bed were replaced with him and her cuddled together, talking long into the night about the future of the pod, the future of them, the promises for their family. But then the dreams turned darker again, unable to not rewrite that heartbreaking fight with out having the council cast her injured sister out.

YOU LIED TO ME! You said you'd give her time to heal! A week, you promised a week, and that we would trade with the nomads for the herbs that would get her better! But we left! We left her, abandoned her! YOU LET YOUR FATHER, YOU LET THE COUNCIL KILL HER! She was breathing heavy, angry beyond care, unable to believe he would do this. When did this happen to us? When did we stop being a partnership! She cried out desperately to him. Why would she say that, they'd been a partnership this entire time. He shuffled, trying to find the words, and instead she kept yelling, at him, You're never home! You ignore me when I greet you! You're always listening to your father, to the council. Why don't you ask me my opinion any more? Why don't you ever work with me anymore? Why are you never with me anymore! We're bonded, we're supposed to be two parts of one, and yet it feels like I'm missing you constantly! Tears were falling from her eyes, D-do you regret the bonding? D-do you r-regret me? I . . . I'll just leave, I . . . I can't stay here with the w-way this is anyway . . . . He took a step forward, his eyes begging with her, Below Zero, please, be reasonable. I'm Triton, my father just wants to make sure I do the pod proud, that I take care of them. And I'm trying to do that. I need you to support me. I need you here with me. Her face contorted with anger, See, even that! When did you decide to only call me by my full name! What happened to us? When did we stop being Shard and Bel? When did we become Ice Shard and Below Zero? Shard, I want you back. I want my bonded back!? Her eyes were begging, begging for him to close the distance, to prove she was more important. Prove that he wouldn't take his father, the council's expectations over what she, his mate, his soul-bond, his other half; needed.

He crossed the chasm, No, no, that didn't happen. He didn't come for me, he never ca- and his body crashed into hers, like he had always done, and she had done too, the instant tangling of limbs, his neck arching over hers, pulling her close, holding her to him. No . . . yes . . . yes this, this is . . . this needs to be right. Yes, please make it right. Please . . . Shard . . . . His breath fanned over her face as he nuzzled into her, I'm so sorry, so, so sorry. My Belle of the Sea, you're right. I've let my father, the council cloud my judgement. Let me make it up to you. Let me make this better. Just don't leave me. We can fix this, we can fix us. We'll make this word. You're it for me, Bel. You're my forever. I can't do this with out you. Bel looked up at him, We'll fix this? We'll do it together? Her whisper was hesitant, afraid to believe it. His gaze met hers with out hesitation, May the Sea Emperess bless us in our union, our future, our happiness. May her care for our world inspire me to care for you. May her love for our people pale in comparison for my love for you, for we are one half of a whole, and only together can we stand tall. He shouldn't know those sacred words, they were lost to our people after the escape from our home planet, how did he kn- yes, yes that's what he said to me. Bel's eyes teared up, and she embraced him tightly, Together, we are one. We were always one. His nuzzle, his whispered promises of forever.

The dreams continued, painting a life after that point, of them building the pod brighter, making it better. The sudden flop of a frog alarmed the mare, jolting her awake, and she yawned, before realizing she was breathing air. She turned to the body at her side, about to greet the male, to nuzzle Shard as she had done every morning for the last few dream-years. She froze as her eyes took in the worried expression of Yukime. Yukime. Her bonded serpent. The serpent . . . in Novus . . . where she went . . . after he refused to cross the distance, Those whispered words of sweet nothings, of promises were replaced with his fading pleas for her to come back, to understand, as she had swam away, unable to stay anymore with a stallion who would stay away for a week, before coming home with out a greeting. Who would stand back and look at the ground when his father berate her. The stallion who had made his choose, the stallion she'd broken a near-completed bond with, who had torn out her heart.

Tears streamed down her face, "It was . . . just a dream." His phantom touch on her face was still there. She could almost smell him on the air carried up from the sea, and yet her world was empty of him. He had never been here. She could still remember the way he felt as she would lean into his side. She remembered that laugh, those crinkles around his eyes when he would laugh. The way he would wink at her when they met gazes from across the pod. Her breath hitched, her gaze drilling into Yuki, "I . . . It was just a dream, Yuki. He's not here . . . None of it ever happened. Why wasn't I good enough? Why wasn't I ever enough? Why did he turn his back on our bond? Why couldn't he have just crossed those final feet to me . . . . Why did I have to dream that he did." She fell to her knees in the muddy water, curling up on herself, nuzzling up to the serpent who was licking her tears away as she gathered herself under some semblance of control, "Yuki, what did I do wrong, that he would choose his father over me?" Why had he stopped chasing her, why did he become her missing half, instead of the piece meant to complete her. And why did she have to dream that he hadn't.

"Bel"
Yukime
Open to Any
Notes:: Okay, now she can start to really heal from Shard's actions and inactions. T.T