The mountain pass has always been a bit dangerous. The small, winding trail moving through the mountains was littered with obstacles like rocks, debris, and sharp drop offs. The trail was hard to navigate for non-native Night Court Citizens, but for Katniss, she could navigate this road with her eyes closed if she wanted to.

The summer sun was at its peak, the temperature hot and humid. Rays beat down on the back of the champion, but Katniss felt no heat. Even as she navigated the path on her routine patrols, her mind was anywhere but on the task at hand. Kibou was safe down in the court, where he should always be. The child had brought so much pain and joy that some days, Katniss was unsure what to feel. She still felt numb on occasion, especially when the moon was full. Losing someone you love is hard, but to raise a son who only wanted to know his father was even harder.

With a sigh, Katniss began to move down the path much quicker, the downward slope helping to increase her momentum. In no time, she was flying down the path, leaping over obstacles likes boulders and logs. She could feel the wind in her face, whipping through her mane. It made her feel someone other than simply being numb. She felt…fear and exhilaration.

However, as she rounded the corner, she tried to slow her speed, her hooves digging into the ground and churning up small rocks and roots. She did not look graceful at all, but it was effective. And as she slowed to a halt, she found herself on a ledge, overlooking the mountain range that divided Denocte from the rest of Novus. And with a heavy sigh, she breathed in the hot air, trying her best to push away the thoughts of wanting to throw herself over this ledge so she could be with her lover forever. She had a son to care for, a court who needed her. But it was hard, so very hard.

ooc: Open to anyone <3

She is looking over that ledge, thinking and contemplating just how easy it would be to take a step off of the rocky edge and fall. She thinks about how easy it would be to be with Metaphor again if she just took one more step. But then she thinks of how hard it will be to leave her son with no one. The child does not understand why he has no father, only that he is the only one who doesn’t have one. He doesn’t understand the love or sacrifice his father has made for him…for her even. She cannot leave him. She cannot give him more unanswered questions. No matter how hard her heart aches for Metaphor, she knows this cannot be her end. She has so much to live for.

She would never really take that step, that step that sent her back into her lover’s embrace. With all that Katniss has experienced in her lifetime, never has she actually contemplated a quick end. It was far too easy, far too cowardly. She is a warrior first and foremost. She does not quit anything, only pushes harder to overcome. This period in her life is just one more obstacle she must conquer. It is just one more thing that will eventually grow her stronger.

She hears his footsteps before he speaks, the only indication of her acknowledgement of him was the way her ears flick back to ear the soft footsteps he takes as he comes towards her. She supposed this did not look exactly innocent, even when it truly had been. She had come to a sliding stop, just at the edge.

As he speaks, she slowly turns her head to look at him, a voice that perhaps she has heard a time or two, but a name that does not quickly come to mind. Her eyes settle on him for a moment before they flutter back to the cliff side below. She sighs, the feeling of relief washing over her. There was someone here to distract her, to keep her thoughts pure. “Aye.” It was a beautiful view. She had come here with Metaphor to watch the sunrise and the sunset. She had visited when she wanted to look down at her court and be thankful for all that she had been given. She is thankful, she supposes, for the opportunity to stand here in awe and wonder. Not everyone had such freedom.

He introduces himself as Eik and Katniss knows who he is. She knows how much he means to Isra and for a moment, her heart aches. She is angry that Isra still has her lover and she has been left with nothing. But she cannot be angry at Eik or Isra for circumstances that they (nor she for that matter) could control. Instead, she smiles at him as she slowly turns to face him more fully, putting her back to the edge.

But it is the way he offers his service that gets to her. The title is so formal, demanding a sense of respect that she does not think she has earned or that she deserves. “Please, it’s just Katniss.” Even though she out ranks him on paper, in her eyes, all soldiers are her equals. She was no better than the next. They were one team and she was only chosen to help lead and guide them. But at the core of everything, they were all soldiers.

She takes a step towards him, putting distance between herself and the edge. She can taste the thin air, her lungs still trying to oxygenate her tissues in this high altitude. She thinks of what she wants to tell him and she cannot come up with anything. It doesn’t feel right to address the edge, not with a stranger who won’t understand where she’s coming from. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you formally.” She was terrible at small talk, but she supposed this was a safe topic, one that would not cause inner turmoil. “Welcome to Denocte. I’m sure Isra is happy you have come to live here.” She feels bad for any that were pushed out under Raum’s regime. The tyrant, thankfully, had been put in his place. But Katniss does not forget that he was once a Nigh Court citizen. Who else in Denocte had such a dark and bitter heart? Surely there were more. Surely it was not just Raum who was unhappy here. But that was another witch hunt for another day. Quite frankly, Katniss did not have the energy for a crusade today.

@Eik

If Katniss had any insight into Eik’s thoughts, she might realize that the two of them are far more alike than they might realize. They shared similar thoughts, even if they varied only slightly. They both wanted to just live, to be free. Katniss had been born to fight, it had not been her choosing. What would she have chosen if she had been allowed to choose? Would she have chosen a soldier, knowing her size and build would suite her well in battle? Would she choose politics because of how well she can move the masses when she is willing to? Would she have chosen healing, to heal both the physical and mental wounds of others? She cannot even determine what she would have chosen herself. All she has known is war and loss. Before she could walk she had been taught to fight. Before she could talk she had been taught her place. But now she stands here wondering all the things that she really doesn’t have time to think about. She was a soldier and a soldier she would always be.

His question pries her away from her thoughts and for a moment, she is thankful. She is thankful for the distractions because she knows it is these distractions that keep her thoughts from following paths that they really should not be traveling. The stillness of the night has been a pitfall for Katniss, something she is slowly learning to deal with. She is learning to fill her thoughts with not what once was or what could be, but with what the future holds. She has so much to live for. She has Kibou and the Night Court. She has Finnick too.

The eagle, as if hearing the thoughts of his bonded, screeches not far from her. She sees him in the distance and she cannot help but feel a sense of peace. If she did not have Finnick, she would have surely allowed herself to fall over that edge. But Finnick grounded her. He was her better half, the sane half, the half that kept her in check. How she had lived without Finnick was a mystery.

Eik continues, telling her that his daughters would hate him because in his attempt to protect them, he had told them how dangerous and horrible boys were only for them to find someone that was none of that. There is a sense of calmness that washes over Katniss as she looks over to him. “There is still time for him to prove you right…he is young and fatherless, so many things can still happen.” Kibou was a good boy for now, but he was still so young. He did not have a father to teach him to be a man and there was only so much that Katniss can teach him. The boy needs a father more than anything…but someone has taken that from him. She can feel the way anger washes over her, the need to kill the one who killed her Metaphor.

But at his question, her face softened. “They will come to respect you…to know that you only mean the best for them.” She had not been given the opportunity to have an openly loving father. Her parents had decided to have a child because neither wanted to support the war effort - so they created a warrior. They were void of love for one another but they made sure that Katniss had been raised decently. Katniss wished she had a father to warn her about the tricks of men. Perhaps then she would not have succumbed to the lust-driven sweet nothings shared to her that ultimate made her conceive her twins. Perhaps if she had a father like Eik, she would have waited for Metpahor. She would have waited for someone that loved her so completely and would never have hurt her. But all of that was in the past.

She sighed for a moment as she looked back out over the mountain side, looking out into the valley before. She was silent in reflection. “They are lucky to have you…I was not that lucky.” Her voice cuts through the silence as she looks towards him. “Don’t ever stop trying to protect them. They will thank you for it one day. Perhaps not today…but one day.” She cannot say for sure when his daughters will look at him with love and thankfulness that he protected them from a bad choice down the line. It would surely come, it always did. “I can only hope I will be enough for Kibou.” Kibou deserved the love of his father. He deserved someone to teach him and guide him to be a good and loving man. He deserved so much more than Katniss could give him but Katniss was all he had. She would simply have to do.

@Eik

She knows the words that Eik is saying is true. She knows it’s not just she who is raising her son. She knows that there is a court that would protect him if the time came. But somehow, Katniss still feels responsible for him. She’s the one who has been tasked with teaching him to be a good man. She is the one who teaches him right from wrong, teaches him morals and values, it is she this burden falls on. Yes she has the court to help her, but they can only help. In the end, it is her responsibility to see to it that Kibou grows up right. It’s a daunting task and Katniss isn’t sure she’s up for the challenge, but she has to try. She made a promise to Metaphor that she would try.

Her sigh is heavy as she looks out over the court. “I know you are all family, something Kibou is blessed to have in his life. But the court can never replace Metaphor.” Metaphor was the one who was supposed to teach him how to love a woman and treat her with kindness and respect. His example was supposed to guide Kibou into adulthood. Katniss had no lover anymore, no one to set an example with. There was only so much anyone can say or do to show Kibou those things. But that fact was something she could not change. She couldn’t bring back Metaphor from the grave because if she could, he would have been beside her.

It was things that she could not change that angered her. It fueled a hatred in her that was so unbecoming. It made her a better warrior and unfortunately, that was the example Kibou had. He could see someone that fought for right and wrong. He would know what means to protect his family and his court, but he would never understand the more emotional side of what was to come. He would be hit with hormones that Katniss could only explain. A boy did not want to hear such things from his mother. He would be tossed to the wolves when the time came and Katniss could only hope that she had been enough that he came out the other side as a grown man with morals and values his mother and father would be proud of.

She can feel the sting of emotion, the gathering of a tear drop ready to fall. She cannot show such emotion in front of another. She clears her throat, straightening her neck, preparing herself to look far tougher than she is currently feeling.

Slowly she begins to turn away from Eik, to continue down the mountain. But as she walks a few paces head, she stops. Slowly her neck cranes to the side and she looks at him. “You have a beautiful family, Eik. Enjoy them. Love them. Teach them. Don’t ever take them for granted.” She had taken her love for Metaphor for granted and now look where it had gotten her.

She sighs again, this time more heavy than the last. But she does not look back at Eik and instead looks forward as she slowly meanders down the mounter, he body fading into black as the shadow of the trees seems to envelope her.

@Eik – a little closer