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All Welcome  - Staring down the barrel

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Rostislav
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#1


Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
Keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart?
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart


Lightly buzzed is a better state of being than before, where I wasn't really hungover so much as actively drunk as fuck. Still, what can be said for the sorry soul that stands aimlessly out at the sea? Spring rains begin to dance upon my back and the stirring sea. The sun hides behind the clouds rolling in, and I let my head hang low toward the increasingly angry tide as it rushes to coat my striped hooves. The sand gives way around me bit by bit as it is dragged out to sea. The rain comes harder, the prelude of innocent showers quickly being replaced by the main act of fierce storm.

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45


My eyes are half-lidded as I stare, only half-seeing the swirl of water, the foam bubbling up the beach. Slowly it rises up my hooves. The salty reeking of the sea that would normally burn the shit out of my nostrils is tempered by the bucketloads of freshwater spilling from the heavens. Any sane fool would seek shelter. After all it won't be long before thunder and lightning turn a temperamental rainstorm into a furious thunderstorm wreaking havoc on the landscape. But I'm not a sane fool. I'm an inebriated, miserable sod.

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight


The disapproving stare that I've been trying to ignore has finally pierced my hide far enough to reach my heart, and I glance over my shoulder to see its owner. The hellhound whose soul is tied forever with my own glowers at me, protected by an overhang from surrounding cliffs. Of course Damaris is smart enough to protect herself from the storm, and not so self-deprecating or self-loathing as to think she has any reason to suffer from it. In some ways I deserve her condemnation, but in others a small part of my brain would like to think that I still hold the high ground. (Though in reality I'm the one getting wet....)

What ever happened to the young man's heart?
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45


I've never taken you for one to be this dramatic, Rostislav. In our years together I've never seen you so morose just because you haven't heard from a woman you fancy. Not even a mate! I wince and turn my gaze back toward the raging sea. Now my feathers are getting soaked as the tide rises with the waves churned by storm. A binge-drinking tour?! What in all the Gods' names were you thinking? My heart contracts painfully over and over again at her words. All of her words. Foolish to leave just because I've missed Weir, begun doubting our moments together, wondering if I'll ever see her again. And yet. 'The goal was to not think.'

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe!

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45


Perhaps I've got my reasons.


wtffffffeels
Tag: Sprowbby + anyone

Rosti thoughts | "Rosti speech" | Damaris mindspeak


Rostislav
more than a drunken fool
x - x











Messages In This Thread
Staring down the barrel - by Rostislav - 02-21-2018, 02:28 AM
RE: Staring down the barrel - by Seraphina - 02-21-2018, 08:47 PM
RE: Staring down the barrel - by Israfel - 03-21-2018, 02:59 AM
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