It would be lovely to indulge the lie, wouldn't it? That she is nothing, to purge herself and make herself into a shell of what she once once, with an echo of a heart that once lay inside her chest, breaking and assembling only to be broken again. If given the choice, Elena thinks she would forget the good and the bad, because she could forget all of them and the way their hot breath felt on her skin.
The good too, how her parents tucked her in every night and her grandmother awakened her every morning. Forget the thunder of the falls only to have it ripped from her hands like it was some sort of greedy child. Forget the man she should have fallen in love with, but left him with his heart in his hand all the same.
But, it is a fool’s errand.
Elena has never been nothing, she is too much. There is too much death (it soils her skin, sometimes she dreams she is rotting from the inside out), too much love, too much ache.
“Then end it,” the voice had said, it had been dark. Blind, blind. “But I am too afraid.” There is salt on her lips, but she cant feel the tears stinging her eyes.
The voice hasn't returned. But Elena has her sight once more, and she sees those shadows that follow her, however silent they may be.
Maybe that is why she travels to Dawn, under the guise of collecting medical supplies for Dusk. She wants to escape these shadows that keep finding her no matter how far or fast she runs. She travels through Dusk, through the humid swamp until she can get to the river. The water, she knows it will be cold, and she carefully moves downstream where there may be spots where it narrows enough for her to cross it.
How often had she gone to the river in Beqanna? It had been where she had found Cordis and Brinly. Where she had discovered a whale shape shifter and Brunhilde, along with her lion companion. The river had been a place of meetings and new faces for Elena, while the forest had been home to fear and shadows. Faces that got to close to hers, leading to heart tremors and shaking hands.
So Elena is grateful to Dawn and its meadows. As her feet crunch against the snow, and the sun is almost blinding. Dawn and the day, it was a curious decision why Elena chose Dusk as her chosen path, but perhaps it will become apparent soon enough. She reaches the capital, and moves towards its center. “Excuse me,” she says as faces pass by. “Could anyone direct me to where I may find some herbs. I am collecting medical supplies.” They rush past her, no doubt on the way to some seminars, their books in hand. Elena has learned the Dawn are known for their brains, just as they say the Dusk are known for their kindness. Her ears fall to the side slightly in defeat. “Please, can someone help me?”
* e l e n a
in the dark I’ll pray for the return of the light the sunflower daughter of benjamin and beylani
medic of dusk.
Yep, coming to the capital was not the best idea. At least not at this time of year. Preparations were already beginning to get underway for the spring festival. Icarus had never been present for it but he’d heard about it when he traveled through with his mother. And he was definitely hearing about it now. It was a hot topic despite the cold. Everyone moving about, eagerly awaiting the warmth of spring. Icarus tends to stay in the forests. The trees are dense and keep a great deal of the snow and chilling winds at bay. It was either that or seek temporary residence in the capital; which was not the easiest thing in the world to achieve. The foals and those that are sick, elderly, or injured needed the space and shelter far more than those perfectly well. On top of the gathering for the approaching festival? Yeah, it was just best to hunker down under the protection of the trees.
So, why come here today? He had been putting it off. He always wanted to experience a crowded area in a more confined space. Believe it or not, he has never experienced such a thing. He’d been a part of herds in the past that grouped together but usually in more open areas. Plus, he wanted to explore it. Just to see it. Though, he’s had, had enough for the day and is making his way out. Easier said than done when you’re not quite three and half feet tall at the shoulders. He was easily missed. A lot of taller horses could step right over him. At least a vast majority of those in Dawn Court are rather pleasant and apologetic when they do notice him. Though, it’s brisk and they keep moving. Busy.
Finally, he’s back near the center. Halfway out! It had been fun, but he wanted out to get his personal space back. A voice catches his ears, it didn’t sound like those among the mummers of festival conversations. He tries to listen for it again. He picks up the word ‘help’ in the sentence just as his eyes fall on a lovely golden palomino mare. She looks a bit downcast, not being able to grab someone’s attention. He isn’t surprised. Everyone is busy and she doesn’t appear injured or panicked. So, whatever she’s asking for help for doesn’t register as more urgent than whatever they’re doing. Curious and moderately worried, he makes his way over to her.
“Hello there,” Icarus greets her, offering a small bow to her as well. “My name is Icarus Delphine. I heard you asking for help. Perhaps I could be of assistance?” His nerves start to ebb into his mind. Talking to others still is not his strong suit. But he has been making steady progress and has a couple friends now. He likely would not have said anything to her if she weren’t asking for help. He’s far too anxious to just start up a conversation with a random horse without a good reason. However, this seems like a good reason. He would love to be able to help out. Plus, it would hopefully get him out of the capital building.
"Speaking." Thoughts.
@Elena , so excited to get smol boi out and about! <3
‘Are you okay?’ He had asked all those years ago, when Elena had been small and alone in the world, when she had needed someone to ask her that simple question for so long without looking at her in some sort of state of pity. And then mound of snow proceeded to dump all over the poor boy just trying to help the little girl. And she laughed, despite herself, and she forgot. All there was was two little children, with young hearts, on a snowy day, the sky was bleak, but oh, oh the world was bright.
She is in another winter day, but it is not in the quiet of the Natural Bridge, but instead the hustle and bustle of the Dawn Court. She needed medical supplies, they were running low of particular herbs and a few types of flowers that may prove beneficial. Elena feels like a foreigner, far from the feeling of Altair making her laugh and complimenting her smile.
She is suddenly all to aware how long it has been since her childhood. She had had Lilli beside her, and Lilli on those nights when she would go into the trees of Taiga and find her crimson cousin to curl up against. It was then she had been able to hang onto her childhood for just a little longer.
Elena stands bare, her age and mortality laid out in front of her without Lilli to guard and protect her.
Her steps slow, leading to an occasional bump from one of the more ambitious passer bys. Elena feels overwhelmed. Hyaline had been busy, but not quite like this. It reminds her more of the wild of Pangea, or the chaos of the field. If she knew someone else was as weary of the populated capital like she was, Elena would have quickly sought him out and pulled him aside so they could laugh and watch as other people walked by, all while trying to dodge the mother with the children who were a handful, or the story teller trying to gain an audience, or the citizen who will catch anyones ears who wants to talk politics.
But, as it were, Elena has no idea of Icarus’s existence, and therefore she thinks this trip was entirely pointless and perhaps she may not meet a single friendly face.
Elena, do not be so quick to give up.
Here comes Icarus to the rescue. The smile she needed in a sea of frowns.
His voice is so friendly and so warm, the sunflower child is instantly relieved. “Oh thank goodness,” she breathes before she can stop herself. “I could use some,” she says, blue eyes look around herself. “Is the capital always this busy,” she says in surprise before her gaze turns to the man who had heard her pleas and not simply dismissed her. (That alone has earned him Elena’s friendship.) “I am trying to gather healing supplies for Terrastella,” she says and shuffles for a moment, not sure if she should burden a stranger. “Would you be willing to perhaps accompany me?”
* e l e n a
in the dark I’ll pray for the return of the light the sunflower daughter of benjamin and beylani
medic of dusk.
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