A kingdom. That was what she had left. That was the world that she had loved and lived in for much of her younger years. And that was what she had stepped back into. Or at least a sort of kingdom. This had a feeling that was similar to home… a feeling that made her miss those that had been left behind. That knowledge was a pain, the stab of a knife in her heart.
Syn found herself somber as she walked through the court. There was something so familiar to the hustle and bustle, and she found that she missed home that much more. Her delicate hooves clicked on the stone, the sound similar to the black marble that had been the floor of her palace. Stopping in the courtyard, Syn closed her eyes and listened to the life around her.
Her delicate green wings were fluttering in the slight breeze. The feathery length of tail was dusting the stone beneath her hooves while her mane was dancing along her ebony neck. Slow, deep breaths caused her frame to slide under the glossy night of her coat. Yes, this could be home… Though not the home that she remembered from her foal hood. But a new start… If only her dear cousin could be there with her. The sorrow of missing Caelum was another knife to her heart and made her sigh.
@Caelum
"Speaking." Notes: Poor Syn doesn’t know where her cousin is lol
if you borrow dresses like you borrow time
if you dream all day and drink all night
Caelum was out and about.
Part of it was due to attempting to uncover the location of a particular building, but she didn't want to think about that too much, it made her feel a little bit like a stalker, even if it was more for professional curiosity . . . . Vikander supposedly did some sort of interesting work with spirits, and she wanted to have her necklace looked at, at some point (and having the chance to look at him on the sly - priceless). Stop that, Caely. You are the Queen of the Summer Court. You are better than this. She silently ordered herself as she fluttered through the streets. Queen, what an odd thought that the few citizens who didn't make it through the barrier around what was the former winter court had decided to embrace her as queen.
She had a hard time with that.
It was, after all, her fault their kingdom was in shambles. It's why she hid so heavily in Denocte, why she was making a home for herself here. Because it was an escape from what had happened, where she'd come from, what she had done. Her ears flicked, and she sighed with a shake of her head. She hated to fall into these thoughts, she was doing better, with her friendship with Luvena making things better. With feeling a sense of companionship that could help ground her. From the conversation with Boleyn, how it made her feel more alive than she'd had in a while, even if it was more of her arguing with his misconception on how delicate she was and how she needed protecting. To the site of Vikander in the shadows of that meeting. The way she'd felt his eyes sweep over her, and how she'd felt her heart skip a beat under that hooded gaze.
She always did have a type.
She tried not to think on that, however, he was an enigma, a mystery, and while she craved to solve it, to pull apart the wrapping to see what he was deep inside, she knew he was mourning, just like she still mourned her Trey, or her child stolen by death. But that didn't mean she couldn't look? Right? More thoughts for her to chase away. And then she paused. It was a subtle shift in the world, a moment of familiarity. A scent carried on the wind, familiar, family. . . . family?
Caelum's eyes snapped open wide.
The mare's flight was more frantic, almost terrified to believe it to be true, and then she saw the familiar hue of emerald wings - how often had she helped dye those wings when she was younger? The mare attached to them was a grown-up version of her cousin, the one who'd always been there for her. Who'd helped her and Arson play tricks on Regal, who had encouraged her to annoy the Council.
She collided with the other fae.
Practically tackling herself to her cousin, squeezing her tightly in a display of energy and lack of propriety not usually associated with the regal, young fae who was so well put together before the Court. She didn't care right now, however. Instead she was clinging to the first fae she'd seen in so long. The first family member she'd seen since she came across the corpses of her parents so long ago. Tears wept freely from her eyes, she didn't bother trying to hide it as she practically clung to her cousin, "Absynthe?"
Her name was spoken so tentatively.
So hard to believe she was really here, really real. Her smile was wide, her eyes were brighter than they'd been in so long as she pulled away from her cousin, "Syn, what are you doing here, cousin? How did you even come upon Novus . . ." Then she paused, her muzzle dropping to a frown, her eyes clouding over with worry, concern, fear, "What of Autumnous Court? Why are you here and not protected behind the barrier your father put up as soon as the refuges of my Court where safely inside?"
The collision caused her eyes to snap open, the scent of home wrapping her in a blanket of warmth. It took a moment to register that another creature was behind the scent, a creature that she had not seen in seven years. The hug, the touch, the scent… it was overwhelming and made tears well in her eyes. Then came the voice. The voice that had been her childhood. The voice that laced every memory and made the mare smile. "Caely?" The word was a breath, nearly inaudible.
"What am I doing here?! What are you doing here? This is so far from home and from the court you were to lead." The last time she had set eyes on her beloved cousin, it was just days after the funeral of her beloved Arson. That was the last chance, before her parents put her in total lock down. Before she was expected to be the darling of her court and take her place as the crown princess.
"Barrier?" Confusion broke through the mask of the princess, making her features mortal and showing her emotion. "Refuges? Caelum, what in the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been home since… well, seven years." She murmured, not wanting to say the name that had once crumbled her dear cousin. Even with the emotions of their reunion, Syn was pressed to her cousin and cherishing the touch of the mare that she thought she would never see again.
"The last thing I heard was that your parents were sending you away. My parents locked me in the palace to attempt to protect me. We both know how well that worked. They turned my beloved palace into my prison, my tomb. I left, gave up my crown and ran as far as I could. I couldn’t seem to find my way back, couldn’t bring myself to face them after it all." She murmured, dropping her head in guilt and sorrow as she waited for the chastisement that she was sure would come. Caelum loved her court, wouldn’t understand the prison that her home had seemed.
@Caelum
"Speaking." Notes: Poor Syn doesn’t know where her cousin is lol
if you borrow dresses like you borrow time
if you dream all day and drink all night
She couldn't believe this was real.
Had she not felt the jolt upon colliding with Syn, she'd wonder if she were having a lucid dream. Instead, she could feel her cousin's warmth, smell the scent that always reminded her of a mix of cinnamon and peppermint. So strong it made her want to sneeze. She pulled back slowly at the nickname, the familiar nickname that not even those in Novus used. Cael, they always shortened it to Cael. Caely was so . . . . a time long forgotten. When Arson had first used it and got the entire kingdom to shorten it.
THen her cousin started asking questions.
And Caelum realized she didn't know . . . She didn't know what had happened, what went wrong. Caelum's muzzle dropped, her gaze lowered, as she realized Syn didn't know because she hadn't been there. "Syn . . . Primulan City is in reunion." She whispered quietly, her ears pinning back, "Mother and father are dead . . . . Regal was able to round up as many citizens as he could . . . Your father allowed them refuge before putting the barrier in place, so those destroying Florumian Court couldn't reach the fae hiding in the forest."
She stared at the ground, kicking her hooves.
"Syn, it was my fault. I led them to my home. I was just trying to help some others. They had been captured as slaves . . . I was working with a stallion, Calico. We were rescuing them, giving them a safe haven . . . . The ones we rescued them from." She sighed, shaking her head, her gaze turning to her cousin. "There is much . . . we must talk about . . ." She admitted softly, "Would you like to come with me back to my tea shop? I can brew us some tea . . . Not . . . all of these news I have to share will be good news."
There was so much running through the unseelie mare’s head as she gazed at the face that she had always cherished. There was a pang in her heart, a realization that she had not expected to actually see her cousin again. Then her cousin spoke again.
"Cael… stop… what? Ruin? Dead?" The words were knives to the mare’s heart as she watched the other. A glimmer of hope at the knowledge that Regal was safe. Then more pain. More confusion. Her parents hadn’t even tried to let her know what was going on. "I am so sorry. I wasn’t there. I should have been there." A wave of guilt threatened to swamp the mare, and Syn found herself spreading her legs a touch to steady the tremors that were quaking her limbs.
She listened to her cousin, the being that was as close as a sister. "You were being a queen. You were doing what was right. Their brutality was not your fault. Caely you are good, pure. Better than I could ever dream of being. I would have never had the guts to stand up and do something like that." She stated, pressing her forehead to her cousin’s shoulder as she tried to wrap her head around what had happened.
At the mention of a tea shop, Syn laughed softly. "Why does the idea of you owning a tea shop seem so perfect and so insane all at the same time?" She asked dryly, still trying to understand the swirling maelstrom of emotions that was nearly knocking her to the ground. The pain that threatened to make her withdraw. The desire to instantly fly home and see for herself. But she was not welcome home. She had no home.
"Lead the way… I think tea will be a good idea as we try to get through this." To get through all of the ways that the unseelie princess had failed her court and the rest of the fae. The usually lively mare was withdrawn, broken… a shadow of the mare she usually was. But she needed to her it, to learn what she had left behind.
if you borrow dresses like you borrow time
if you dream all day and drink all night
Caelum's gaze was low.
She fell quietly at her cousin's words, her gaze on the ground, before she jolted her head up, shaking her head, "Syn, no; do not apologize, please do not blame yourself. I carry enough of it already, do not fall down that rabbit hole yourself. Heaven knows it is hard enough on me to feel it. Call me selfish, but I am relieved you were not part of that situation. Because it means I can have you here now, with me. It has been so lonely, the only one of us around." The fae admitted softly.
She gently nudged her cousin softly.
The nudge was soon a supportive hug, offering her own body to help her cousin stabilize herself, "I do not feel like I did anything correctly, Syn. I feel like I let so many down." She admitted, before smiling softly at her cousins words, not realizing how much she needed to hear it until this moment, "Pure, Good?" She repeated, before nuzzling the younger mare.
The mention of her shop helped, however.
Syn's laugh was like a balm to his heart, and she felt some of her tension ease at the sound, so familiar, so much of home in that laugh. "Because it is both perfect and insane. Come. You will adore the place. I have worked hard on it." She stated quietly, motioning for her to follow her out of the main courts, and into the sky, leading the way back to the lake. She landed on the deck that was stretched out over the water, breathing in the scent of herb leaves, and baked goods. "I'll grab us something to eat and drink, please find a seat . . . ." She said softly, wondering how much longer she could put this off.
This was not the happy reunion that Syn had dreamed of during the time apart from her beloved cousin. Both were emotional, the news terrible and hard to get through. "All I can think is that I could have, should have been there to help. We were an unstoppable team before... what if me being there was what would have saved those lives? Your court? Our family? How can I not think it? I left in anger, in rage at being caged like a precious song bird. Now I wonder if I could have actually made a difference." Syn murmured, pressing her forehead to her cousin's shoulder.
Syn shook her head, leaning into the hug and breathing in the scent that was so precious to her. "Caelum, you are the best... everything... that I have ever met. I looked up to you, wanted to be like you. Never came close, but it was something to strive for. You are kind, compassionate, determined... All of the best things a fae can be." She nuzzled her cousin again.
Syn followed her cousin, a moment of bliss stealing the heartache away as she took to the skies beside her. Seven years... It had been seven crazy years since they had flown together. She landed just behind her cousin, taking in the scent and following her into the shop.
"This is amazing, Caely. Not that I expected anything less. You always take ideas and make them incredible." She murmured, flopping into pillows as she tried to brace herself for the conversation that would be coming. The news she needed to hear. The pain she needed to bear to be able to heal and move forward.
if you borrow dresses like you borrow time
if you dream all day and drink all night
Caelum sighed softly, her gaze on the grass between them.
"Syn, I wasn't there either, to help. I was . . . elsewhere, fighting . . . my own battles." She tried not to flinch at the memories, her child crying out for her, the fear and pain in his voice before it shut down with a gurgle, the light leaving those eyes that were her whole world. Her scream of pain, Calico's cry of rage. When the dust had settled, she stood alone with just a few of the former slaves bleeding heavily. Calico had gone down while trying to avenge their son.
She shook her head, her expression soft, sad.
"We all make our own decisions, and there was little that could have been done. From what I understand, it was sudden anyways. Your Court barely had time to let in Seelie fae, before their borders had to be shut to keep those monsters out. Our people aren't a fighting force, the Summer Court has always been about laughter and parties. And, call me many things, but I am selfish enough to be glad you were not there, that you were safely away, and you can be here now." She added gently, touching her cousin's shoulder, hugging her close.
The younger mare seemed so soft then.
So small, despite them being the same size, so young despite being an adult. She smiled gently, shaking her head, "I am not perfect though, Syn. I've made my share of mistakes as well." She stated softly, far more aware of her faults now than she had been when she was younger, so much younger, before she knew that the pain of losing Arson was pale in comparison to the pain that would come with time. She led her cousin into her shop, smiling faintly at her reaction to the store, "It's been a dream." She admitted, looking around, even as she brought over some snacks, some tea, trying to prepare herself for what to say, and her voice left her with a soft sigh, "Where . . . where shall I start?"
Syn could see the pain in her cousin’s features, her heart clenching as she realized that she didn’t know what all the other mare had gone through. "Cael…" Syn started, her heart breaking as she tried to figure out what to say. "Your life has been anything but easy. I can’t hold it against you. I have no idea what happened after…" There was a pain at the idea of saying his name, at knowing what her cousin had been through. But how else could she explain her thoughts? "After Arson. " She had no idea about anything since, and that bugged her more than she could admit. The younger fae pressed her forehead to her cousin’s shoulder, trying to be comfort for both of them.
"Summer was always the light, the warmth of the fae kingdoms. My people are cold, even cruel at times. The amount of time I spent learning less savory skills made my own court less positive and made me wish that I was part of your own court, to be happy and warm." Syn dropped her acidic gaze, finally admitting that a part of her had always been jealous of her cousin and her court. The hug from her cousin helped, but she missed the closeness that they had once had.
There was nothing she could say. Cael had always been perfect to her, the light of their little world and the push for the unseelie princess to try to be better. The warmth that lit up her cousin when they entered the shop made her feel that much better.
That was when the question nearly knocked the wind out of her. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and wish the world away. To hide from the knowledge that she knew would hurt. "I left not long after Arson. After your parents sent you away… I couldn’t help the pain that you were going through. I felt like the outsider after watching how happy you two had been. Then my parents pulled me back into the court, and it was suffocating. I was a coward. I ran. I had to get away before they turned me into the princess that they wanted. The cold, cruel, calculating being that would do anything for power." It was hard to get it out, but she needed to tell Cael what had happened and why she had no idea of the events after Arson. There was a part of her that could easily turn into that princess, though she hated the idea of it. The happy imp could easily turn into a cruel tyrant. That was the battle she fought every day, mostly by thinking of the light of her cousin and wanting to make her proud.
@Caelum
"Speaking." Notes: Apparently Syn is thoughtful today XD <3
if you borrow dresses like you borrow time
if you dream all day and drink all night
Caelum was quiet for a long moment.
So many thoughts, emotions, worries crossing her mind. It hurt, it scared her; and more than anything, to have to think about what had happened - to have to tell her cousin what happened. To go through it all again. She was trying to heal - trying to move on, to get better, feel better, not focus on the past, to not get lost in what was, what can't be any longer.
Her name was spoken so softly.
She glanced up at Syn, and for a brief moment, fire flamed her soul. Not been easy, that was a joke! An understatement, and Syn had no idea. How dare she try to say anything. To make light of it, light of Caelum. Caelum wasn't light, she hadn't been Light in a long time. Light of Summer, the Heart of summer. The vibrancy of the kingdom. She'd destroyed it all! But Syn didn't know that. She then froze briefly when her cousin spoke the name of her first love.
It wasn't about Arson anymore though.
When she spoke, her voice was soft, but cool; burying a fire that would be visible briefly in her gaze; "What happened after Arson . . . it was not easy, Syn. You are correct. My life . . . it hass been a mess. I . . . I have been a walking mistake. Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. It . .. " She drew in a shaky breath, her body seeming to start to quiver, and this time, when she spoke, there fire had replaced the coolness, that heat directed at herself, not her cousin. It was always directed at herself. "I single handedly killed the Fae Kingdoms, Absynthe." Her muzzle twisted, a snarl crossing her features, a look she'd picked up from Tremaine, and their time together. It wasn't a normal look on her, but it fit the situation, the hatred she felt for her self. "I fucking destroyed it all." The curse startled even herself.
She blinked, shaking her head, slowly deflating.
Her gaze lowered, staring down at her forehooves, "I destroyed everything we ever loved, Syn." When her cousin spoke, Caelum flinched at every word, of summer being the light, the warmth. Summer, her kingdom, her. She didn't say anything, didn't address the jealousy she could hear, because she couldn't. Not yet. She didn't want to think about it all. For a brief moment she just wanted to feel numb.
Because she wasn't perfect.
When her cousin finally stated how little she knew, he hesitated for a long moment, and when she did finally start to speak, she found herself skipping over Tremaine completely, unable to touch on that, not yet. How was it she could talk about her child more easily then Trey? "Syn . . . I . . . things started out well after I left. I met new friends, started to heal. Should have healed. But disaster always strikes. Perhaps I truly am cursed, perhaps that's why this always happens to me. On-one thing leads to another. They . . . He . . . I . . ." She faulters, before visibly skipping over an entire section.
""I find myself enslaved.
"I was lucky, Calico found me. rescued me really. But we sought together to try to rescue others. To help others. Freeing who we could. We created our own mini nation, a sanctuary for those who needed it. But . . . others didn't like our efforts, taking away their workers, playthings. They . . . they infiltrated what we had built . . . So we tried to send those rescued to mother and father, give them a safe place to restart. " Caelum fell quiet for a moment, ears falling back.
"I wanted to help them." She swore softly.
"By the time we realized how far we'd been infiltrated . . . it was too late. We tried to make it out. Calico, myself . . . a-and . . . and our son." Caelum's voice briefly broke, her gaze lowering, uncomfortable, troubled, painful. "I was one of the few who survived that ambush, but that's my curse isn't it? I survive when they don't . . . ." Her gaze was on anything, anything but her cousin. She didn't say what her cousin probably understood, the foal hadn't made it either.
"I tried to go home, I need mother and father."
She still did, if she was being honest. She craved her mother's soothing touch, and reassuring words. The safety net her father offered with his calm, steady presence. "I found them dead in the throne room. Left there like a message. Primulan City was burnt to the ground. Gone. Everything was gone. And it was my fault." Caelum stood, spinning away from Syn to hide the pain in her gaze, the self-hatred for what she'd caused, what she had lost. What she had done. "How many times does life repeat itself, Abysnthe? How many times until I see what I should not have? Arson . . T-tr . . . Arson and Calico." Again a name was noticeably skipped.
Her gaze turned briefly to her cousin.
"How can you sit there and look at me, tell me I'm not the problem. That I was someone to admire. When it's my fault everyone is dead. My fault you can no longer go home. My fault my parents never got to meet their grandchild. How . . . how can you look at me with such affection . . . when I cannot stand to even look at myself?"
