[P] I reach to the sky and call out your name

[Apollo]

And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand Snow crunched under their hooves. They surely made quite a sight, two black forms amidst a backdrop of white snow, circling about a lake covered in ice. Their pace was slow, leisurely. Occasionally they would brush shoulders as they walked, closer than simple friends, the sparse distance between them speaking of an intimacy that they themselves may not have even known. Silence reigned between them, the need for words long gone. Words were superficial when all they needed was a look, a smile, or a frown, able to read one another quickly and effortlessly through eyes of mahogany or crimson.   Apollo was, to put it simply, content. Oh, his heart still ached for Zola. He felt incomplete in ways that not even Ktulu could fill. There was a part missing within his heart, within his soul, a little niche reserved only for the eyeless feline that had come into his life so dramatically. His heart would always ache for Zola, and he would never stop searching for her. The overo knew that his thoughts and feelings were mutual in the eyes of Ktulu, who still surely so desperately yearned for Eytan to return to her side. Instead, they only had each other. It wasn’t a bad situation, not at all, but it could be so much better. Hadn’t they lost enough?   Reaching over amidst their leisurely pace, Apollo pressed his muzzle into the golden etchings of his dark lady’s shoulder tattoo. He lipped at the familiar lines, swallowing a deep sigh of contemplation. His love for her, once hidden away and ignored for fear that she would not love him the same when so much had transpired between them, had reared its head incessantly, a force that he could no longer ignore. And, over the months since their arrival to Novus, Apollo found that he lacked the willpower to continue to ignore it, not with his heart so heavy from their shared losses. So, as the days trickled into weeks and the weeks trickled into months, more and more little actions began to sneak out, subtle and not-so-subtle mannerisms making their way into the light of day.   He had never been shy about physical affection, not with Ktulu. Yet during their stay within Denocte and the Night Court, he found that he would brush against the ebony mare in passing, or nose the tresses of her mane, inhaling her familiar scent. He would nibble along her spine in a way reminiscent to their younger years, when they had chased one another and danced so flirtatiously within the Heavenly Fields. He would smile at her as though she were his world, and, Apollo was finding, she was. Ktulu was everything. There would be no world without her in it, and at times, he found himself crippled with the sudden fear of losing her.   They had been through so much, though. Surely she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Right? Self-doubt was a common enemy to the Merciful, as was anxiety and depression. Things were different now. They weren’t who they used to be. Regardless, Apollo spent his time leaning upon her, relishing in her presence and her unfathomable strength, and when the darkness became too much for her to handle, when the weight of their new world was far too heavy, Apollo would offer his shoulder for Ktulu to lean against instead.   They worked well together, the two of them, and Apollo knew he was doomed. Smitten. In unfathomable, unexplainable love. He never wanted to imagine a world without the Constrictor in it. Couldn’t.   It had been Apollo who had suggested their little stroll around the lake of Denocte, ignoring the flurries that fell from the heavens in a lazy pace that matched the lack of urgency they so displayed along their walk. He was warm and content by ktulu’s side, glancing sidelong with adoring honey-brown eyes, the windows to the depths of his soul, his love. He would bump against her as they walked, her touch feeding an undying flame within his breast.   “… This is nice,” he murmured thoughtfully, snow crunching beneath their hooves and the sound of flurries falling like whispers to his ears, “Just the two of us. It’s nice to just get away.” Denocte had been very accommodating since their arrival, but Apollo felt stifled within their Court. It was different then the life he was used to, among herds and a band of mercenaries. Oh, they were all nice, he supposed, but there was a lazy sort of complacency among them, a stagnancy that he didn’t fancy. He couldn’t imagine much promise within the Night Court, much purpose, but the only purpose he truly desired was at his side. ’Home’ was the form of an ebony lady with ivory tresses and piercing, fierce crimson eyes.   Wherever Ktulu went, Apollo would follow. That was simply how they were. That was their dynamic, and he wouldn’t change it for anything.   The Merciful exhaled, mist furling upwards towards the sky only to disappear. Brows pinched, honey-brown eyes glanced away, towards the frozen lake. “Ktu, I… There’s something I want to tell you. Something I should’ve told you a long time ago.” Something that he had told her, once upon a time. Years ago, he had laid his heart bare, speaking the words that he had been terrified to utter. That, however, was a different lifetime, and he could not allow it to sully this moment.   When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

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[Ktulu]

Ktulu & Apollo You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't wanna go home right now The sound of snow crunching under their hooves and the cold bite of winter air kept Ktulu grounded as she and Apollo strolled slowly around Denocte's lake. The brush of his shoulder against his, the ever so faint touch of his tail against her legs when the wind whipped up around them anchored her in the moment. Her mind didn't wander back to Helovia, to Lakota, to Murtagh, to Archibald, to Eytan, to Ophelia, but instead remained solely focused on the present. On Apollo, who had been by her side for too many years to count. She glanced at him, offering a subtle smile when she caught his eye. A second later her gaze was back on the expanse of snow that stretched out before them. Life within the borders of Novus, specifically within Denocte was quiet. Slow. Almost boring. There seemed to be very little rush when it came to doing anything and it was something that Ktulu was not used to. Her life, prior to landing in Novus, had been full of turmoil, strife, and countless obstacles, and had been extremely rushed. There was always a situation needing attention, individuals waiting to give reports, spars and patrols to be assigned, contracts to be negotiated, and payments to be received. She'd never had much time to just walk around and enjoy the company of someone else and now that she did ... she didn't know what to think of it. She enjoyed it, yes, but she was also wary of it she tended to lose the things that she loved. Apollo touched her shoulder and drew the dark mare's attention to himself. He seemed preoccupied, lost in his own thoughts as he lipped at the lines of her shoulder marking, and she wondered what it was he was thinking about. Probably Zola, she decided as her attention returned to the path that stretched out before them. They often thought of their companions, the both of them still reeling from their sudden disappearance and the resulting holes it left in their hearts and souls. At least they still had each other to help mend their wounds. "This is nice," "Yes." Ktulu agreed softly. "It is." The breeze whipped up flurries of snow around them as they walked, but as the breeze died down the snow began to fall softly once more. It was a frozen wonderland, an oasis, a haven for the two battle scarred warriors and Ktulu found herself more and more thankful that Apollo had asked her to take a walk with him. It wasn't the first time he had sought her out and they had walked together -- in Helovia they had often walked the borders of the Foothills together as they discussed herd matters. Now they hardly spoke, finding just as much comfort, if not more, in just being next to one another. “Ktu, I…” The tone of Apollo's voice made the Constrictor stop walking and she turned her head to him, waiting patiently in the falling snow for him to say what was on his mind. "There’s something I want to tell you. Something I should’ve told you a long time ago.” Ktulu was not a stupid mare. She knew that tone, she knew the hesitation, the attempt at avoiding eye contact because you were about to open your heart and bare your feelings and desires to someone else. The two of them had danced this dance before, back when they were much younger. He professed his love to her and she offered her own. Years had passed, times had changed, but her heart had not. "I know." She said quietly, her gaze remaining steady as she watched Apollo. "Me too." "." @Apollo

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[Apollo]

And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand As Ktulu halted their movements, Apollo did as well. The breeze picked up, the cold air licking at their stationary forms and pulling at their hair. Once he would have been nervous. Once, the Merciful would have stuttered over himself, beating around the bush as he struggled to find the right words to say.  Once, cowardice would have robbed his words, stealing his breath and holding his tongue. He would have backed out, backed down, and pushed his deepest most sincere feelings down to be ignored. Once, years ago, he had done these very things, in a forest very far away from where they stood now, on the eve of a great battle. There had been pressure last time, the terrifying question of ’what if she doesn’t make it back?’, or ’what if we never see each other again?’ spurring him on. Now, though… Now, Apollo did not stutter. There was no pressure. He did not trip over his word or shuffle his hooves like an inexperienced colt who knew nothing of life. He did not gawk or mumble, terrified of rejection. It was simply the two of them, Ktulu and Apollo, together through it all. As the Constrictor’s gaze focused on his own, captivating glittering crimson meeting soulful honey, he could only smile. He met her gaze, proud and unashamed. Why would he ever feel ashamed of the love which he held for her? Her words, the soft, ’I know. Me too.’ were all he needed to hear. “… I’ve never stopped,” he admitted, his tone gentle and affectionate, deep with honesty, with devotion, “Loving you. For so many years, Ktu. So many years.” A lot had happened, since the last time they stood within the Deep Forest of Helovia and had spoken of their deeper feelings. They had loved and lost. Apollo had lost her, to others. Thoughts of the Poisoner crossed his mind, of their dear Lakota, lost to an illness that no magic could heal. Of their son. Distance had grown between them, between he and his dark lady. Uncertainly had plagued them, in times of peace and war. Staring at her now, at her beauty, knowing her strength, her conviction, her cunning, her spirit, her love, Apollo couldn’t help but still be captivated by her, utterly and completely. “We’ve each lost so much.” Family. Friends. Lovers. Homes. Zola and Eytan. “But somehow… We’re here. Together. Through it all, we’ve found each other. The world rained down around our ears and we lost what we once had, but… If there is anyone who I’m glad I found on the other side, it’s you. It’s always been you.” There was no equal. There was no one who understood him quite like she did, and he wondered, not for the first time, how he could have gotten so damn lucky. Gone was the stuttering uncertainties that so often plagued Apollo’s voice. His trembling tenor, now, was strong with conviction, with strength, with determination. There was nothing to fear, here. With Ktulu at his side, he could face anything. “I love you, Ktulu. I have never stopped loving you, not once in all of these years. You are my world. I’ve told you how I felt before, but we were so young.” So inexperienced. Truly, they hadn’t even a clue what life would have in store for them. “If there is anyone I wish to spend the rest of my life with, it’s you. At my side, forevermore. Equals, in life, love, and death. I pledge my heart to you, my soul, my honor and loyalty. It’s yours… If you will have it.” When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

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@Ktulu <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[Ktulu]

Ktulu & Apollo You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't wanna go home right now Ktulu couldn't remember when it had been that Apollo had become more than just a medic for the Grey. Or an Earth Medic for the Foothills. She couldn't remember when it was that he had become more than Apollo, her friend. The only thing she knew was that, somehow, over the years that they had worked a together and walked side by side he'd become an intergral part of her life. When he was gone she felt as though there were a part of her that was missing. Incomplete. Maybe the shift in the way she viewed him had come after Ophelia's departure from the Grey. He had been the only one that had sought her out, had shown concern for her mental state, and had offer any kind of assistance. Maybe that was when she had started to love him. Or maybe it was the numerous times that he'd tended to her injuries after battles, spars, and challenges. During those times they would talk about everything from contracts, to patrols, to how cold the coming Frostfall might be. It could have even been during their patrols, where they would walk in comfortable silence as they both worked to make sure their home was secure and their family was safe. Whatever it was that had brought on the shift in her view and her heart, Ktulu was thankful for it. She couldn't imagine what her life would have been and how it would turn out if she had turned him away when Phaedra had brought him to her, seeking entrance and approval into the Grey. "...I've never stopped." "Me neither." Ktulu answered easily. They may have been young that time in the Heavenly Fields when they danced together and confessed their feelings, but Ktulu's feelings had not changed. Her heart still beat for the Merciful and still longed for his presence when he was absent from her side. Even when she had promised herself to others -- to Midas first, and then Lakota -- she had still loved Apollo. She had still wanted him, but she had also thought he could find someone better than her to give his love to. Someone far more worthy of him. And yet here he was. Here they were. Same song, different verse. "We've each lost so much..." Her eyes closed and there was a ghost of a smile on her lips as she listened to Apollo. Everything he said was true. They'd lost their family when the Grey had gone their separate ways. They'd watched friends fall in battle as they tried in vein to protect their home. They'd lost Lakota. Their home countless times. Their companions that had been anchored to their very souls. Truth be told, if Ktulu had not found Apollo on the other side she would have thrown herself off a cliff to her death after having lost her sister, her lover, and her companion. "I pledge my heart to you, my soul, my honor and loyalty. It’s yours… If you will have it.” "You've saved my life in more ways than you could ever imagine, Apollo." Her eyes finally opened and she looked at Apollo, her gaze soft and unguarded. "My feelings and my heart have not changed since that time in the Heavenly Fields." She said. "Everything I said then is still true now." And she couldn't imagine those feelings ever changing or fading. "I want you to stay with me. I don't want anyone else by my side." I don't want to give my heart to anyone else. I love you. "." @Apollo

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[Apollo]

And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand Apollo had been blessed by spirits and Gods. He had been called upon by ancient spirits of yore, by the Gods themselves, to assist in their time of need. He had given everything in his life to the service of others in varying amounts of degree, and received unfathomable favors in return. Gods, spirits, mortals. None of those moments in his history, however, held a candle to the blessing that Ktulu bestowed upon him when she answered his heartfelt admission. ’I want you to stay with me. I don’t want anyone else by my side.’ Gods. He wanted nothing more. “Then by your side I’ll stay,” Apollo whispered, his eyes, soulful, deep, loving, locked on the unguarded sincerity of Ktulu’s brilliant crimson gaze. He could stand there forever, lost in her eyes, in her presence. Her heart meant ’home’, and wherever she should go, he would follow, “Forever.” Maybe that’s how it always had been. So many things they shared between them, so many moments, all of them cultivating to this. Now. Together. How many moments had they shared, blissful and unaware that life, cruel as it may be, would drag them to this particular spot? Apollo could recall a moment in his life when he had been much younger, hardly five years old, and had just arrived within the threshold of Helovia. Phaedra had found him, intriguing and captivating him, offering him promise. What a promise it had been. Being taken to the Grey, meeting Ophelia and Ktulu, he hadn’t a clue that his life would have changed to such a degree. He had fallen in with their motley bunch, serving as their medic. For them, he lived. For them, he fought. For them, he breathed. Ktulu had offered him a chance upon her initial acceptance, and he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. Now, years later, so many years… Shifting in the snow, Apollo inched closer to the ebony mare’s side, reaching out with his muzzle to brush along her neck and upwards towards her jaw, lipping and nibbling at the pronounced curve of her enticing jawline. She was beautiful. Fierce. Amazing. He could never cease in singing her praise, and, with a little jolt of thrill shooting along his spine from his heart, Apollo realized he could do just that every day for the rest of his life. “… Do you remember? When we first met?” Of course she did. How could she forget the bumbling, trembling, stuttering fool he had once been? But, oh, he had been so intimidated by her, seeing what was only on the surface. Cool, collected, fierce. So many others were like that, allowed to only see the shell of Ktulu’s self. They did not get to witness the splendor beneath, the brilliance, the loyalty, the love she was capable of. Only for him. It was thrilling. It was humbling. Apollo grinned, chuckling breathily. “I was so nervous, but I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t change anything. Being here, with you, right now and in this moment, the two of us together… It’s enough. It’ll always be enough.” It was home. When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

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[Ktulu]

Ktulu & Apollo You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't wanna go home right now "Then by your side I'll stay. Forever" That promise was one that Ktulu had heard many times over. From Ophelia. From Lakota. From Archibald. One by one they had all broken their promise in one way or another and had left her alone, picking up the pieces of her shattered heart. Each time there were shards of it that were missing and left her changed. But, for whatever reason, she believed Apollo when he made the promise. Yes, he had come and gone over the years, but he always returned to her. "Do you remember? When we met?" His question brought the faintest smile to Ktulu's face. Of course she remembered when they had met. How could she not? "I do." She answered. "Phaedra brought you and I thought she was out of her mind bringing someone so meek and gentle into a band of mercenaries." She turned her head to look at Apollo. "I almost turned you away." She admitted. "To save you from life as an outcast... as a mercenary." But she was glad that she didn't. Gods was she glad that she didn't. "You've grown so much since then." The black mare pressed on. "You've grown stronger. More confident." But he had never lost his gentleness or his kindness. Perhaps that was why they had worked so well together when they had lead the foothills. She the unforgiving, militant leader and he the gentle, democratic one. Apollo and Ktulu. Yin and Yang. "Do you remember when you fought Confutatis?" Ktulu asked suddenly. She remembered watching the battle unfold in the valley. She remembered the blinding rage she felt at Confutatis. And she remembered the pride she felt as he fought, and won, that made her chest ache. "I'd never been more proud of you. Or more impressed." She also remembered wanting to tear the wretched mare limb from limb for daring to challenge Apollo for his title as Chief. Ktulu leaned closer to Apollo, relishing in the warmth of his body and the soothing comfort of his presence. "I wouldn't change anything, either." She agreed, despite all the pain that she had endured. Everything had culminated to that point. To this wonderful, beautiful moment. "What now?" "." @Apollo ooc:// i'm terrible D:

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[Apollo]

And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand It would seem that no matter how old he got, Apollo would never grow used to receiving compliments. In his eyes he did not deserve them. Why should he? He was just a man. A flawed man. He was no longer Chief, nor King, nor even a medic glorified by the Gods. There was nothing special about him… He did not stand out in a crowd. His colors and design were simple, pale in comparison to the many beautiful creatures that had graced Helovia and now Novus. Yet when Ktulu gazed upon him and her breathtaking crimson gaze grew warm with adoration and affection, he could not help but feel as though he was so much more. In her eyes, he was everything, and that was all that truly mattered. Her admitted words caused him to smile ruefully, honey-brown eyes glittering in mirth. “I’m glad that you didn’t,” he spoke back along the waves of a gentle laugh, “My poor spirit probably wouldn’t have handled it.” Apollo had been such a frail creature back then; so very timid and uncertain, speaking in stutters and shuffling his hooves with anxiety. By all right the Constrictor should have sent him away. The Grey had hardly been a place for one so meek and gentle, but… She hadn’t. She hadn’t, and now here they were. Ktulu was right, though. He had changed. They both had changed, yet it wasn’t necessarily a bad one. Both broken and warped, incomplete and flawed, but together, they were beautifully, tragically complete. Then, their conversation shifted, and he frowned. A chill of a long ago storm doused him at mention of the World Eater and the challenge that had nearly taken his life, the memory of a shrill scream, of ’Face me, you coward!’ echoing in his ears. The dancing mirth in his eyes disappeared, anxiousness replacing it, and Apollo exhaled a mighty breath. Instinctively he reached out to Ktulu, pressing his muzzle intimately against her neck, seeking solace and safety within the tresses of silken ivory. “… I have nightmares,” the Merciful admitted, muttering against his dark lady’s flesh, finding no shame in his words nor in the stuttering fear in his heart at the sheer thought of Confutatis the World Eater, “Of then. I have nightmares that I failed, that she won, and that the Foothills were stained and soiled from the blood of those that I loved.” Breathing in, Apollo held his silence, simply relishing in Ktulu’s familiar scent. He would drown himself in it, if he could, forever captured and held within her presence. To her, he would submit; body, mind, and heart. When he spoke next, the stallion’s voice was soft and far away, as though he was not completely there in his body by the frozen lake. “I remember looking up, through the rain. I remember seeing everyone.” Ktulu, Archibald, Lakota, Phaedra… So many. They had come for him. “Without you all, I don’t think that I could have done it. Without you… Oh, Ktu.” He shuddered, ripping himself from the terrors of a war he shouldn’t have had to fight, but one he had done so willingly, because his love was his greatest strength, and his greatest weakness. And oh, how he had loved them all. Lipping at the smooth flesh of Ktulu’s neck, Apollo finally pulled back enough to meet her gaze. He inhaled deeply, holding the air within his lungs as he bolstered himself, and then smiled. Once more the Merciful’s honey-brown eyes were deep and soulful, glittering with love. “Now?” Indeed. What now? They had been within Denocte for some time, but Apollo struggled to fit in. They did not share the lifestyle of those who called this place home. They weren’t gypsies in the night, or dancers, or storytellers, or singers. They were misfits of a different world, cast out and forgotten, left alone to only each other… And truthfully, they did not belong here. It was not ‘home’. ‘Home’ was a beautiful sleek black mare with silken ivory hair and passionate, fierce crimson eyes, with a dangerous edge but a loving heart. Wherever Ktulu went, Apollo would follow. She was his home. He did not need a land, a province, a Court, to tell him otherwise. Suddenly an idea sprung within the overo’s head, and he lifted his head higher, that coy, rueful smile back upon his lips. Something in his heart felt so remarkably young at the unexpected thought, even though he and Ktulu were far past the prime of their lives. “… Let’s just go. Let’s leave this place behind, and go somewhere else. Let’s see the world, Ktu. You and me. We’ll look for Eytan and Zola and find somewhere just for us.” It had always just been ’us’. Even now, it was just the two of them; the sole survivors of the Grey. Ktulu and Apollo. Other than their wayward companions, they would only ever need each other. It was how it had been, and that was how it would stay. When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am

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@Ktulu EEEEEEE <3 <3 <3 <3 <3