it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
The mare stared quietly ahead.
The waves crashed so gently into the cliff base, and even from this distance she could taste the salt in her mouth, the feel of the wind carrying ocean water to her hide, and she closed her eyes, peaceful . . . but missing, something was missing. For so long she had felt that missing piece was her pod. Her sister, Shard, her father, the others . . . But, but she had Pol back, could see her sister whenever she wanted. And Shard felt more like a distant thought, a former part of her past that she had outgrown. Yet that feeling remained.
Empty. Alone. Missing.
Like the sun had set, and her world was colder for it. She knew now why it felt that way. She'd seen it that day, in those caves. Felt it when her forehead had pressed to his. When he'd smiled so softly to her, so caring. The way his golden gaze lingered, caressing her skin, warming her to the core with the sense of belonging. She glanced to where Yukime held a letter, before she nodded, nervous, wondering if he would be disappointed as she sent Yukime to deliver it. He wanted a yes, those three words returned to him.
She couldn't give him that.
She wasn't there yet. But . . . that didn't mean she couldn't give him something else. She watched her bonded scamper off, awkwardness for a creature of ice and water making their way on land. She knew it was cruel to make her carry the letter through land, so she'd sealed it, and as soon as Yuki was close enough, she dived into the water, she took off to find the flaming stallion. Bel's gaze returned to the horizon. Would he be disappointed? Would he be angry? Would he come for her, would he ignore it? What would his reaction be, what would his choice be.
She was afraid to find out.
Yuki left the letter with the stallion, a simple, but short letter. "We need to talk . . . about, well you know what about. I'll be waiting at Praistigia Cliffs, when you get a chance to come see me. You'll want to hear what I have to say." She wasn't in love with him, no . . . But . . . but she could see it ending up that way, if they continued the path they were going down. She knew, if he were to ask her, if he were to offer it. She'd accept a courtship. She'd be willing to let him continue to to show her his affections where true, and she'd let hers continue to grow rather than being buried down.
The appearance of the familiar serpent was a shock, but a pleasant one. Sol took the letter, reading it and feeling his heart lurch. Before he could act, he took Jiri to a neighbor that he trusted to watch her. Returning, he looked at Yuki. "Did you want a ride back?" He asked, extending a wing for the creature to climb up if she decided to take it.
The stallion was excited and nervous at the idea of what Bel would say. Pausing his flight in a meadow, he gathered a small bouquet of flowers to bring with. Everything with Bel was making him feel like an unsure colt with his first love. But that was what she was. She was the first mare he had ever felt like this for and he wanted her to be the last as well. The flowers were blue and white, though he would never be able to tell anyone what flowers they were.
The flight to the cliffs was a decent distance, but he managed to make good time. His golden eyes caught sight of Bel and he landed a short distance away so that he didn’t accidentally hit her. Tucking his wings, he approached with a touch of trepidation.
"Hello, beautiful." He murmured, pressing his muzzle to her shoulder in greeting. A part of him was terrified of what she would say, of what her decision would be. Gathering the flowers, he offered them to her with a smile. Even the sight of her was enough to make him feel butterflies.
it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
The bonded lacked her ice.
It was a startle, a faint surprise when he'd offered a ride back, and Yuki hesitated, eyeing the wing, eyeing him, before clawed appendages caught his wing, and she carefully scampered up, wrapping her tail loosely around his neck, grasping his mane with an awkwardness that came from a different body to cling to than normal. No fin for her to lay against, hair and fur where she wasn't familiar with it. Why all this long hair?
But she was happy for the rest.
And it got her in a good position to watch his anxious moves. Of gathering a collection of flowers, making her wonder why he went the flower route, and not branches of coral, coral was surely brighter, surely lovelier . . . wasn't it? Eh, who cared. His nerves were amusing enough. As soon as he landed, the bonded slid from him, rushing back to Bel and cuddling up to her, even if Bel had her attention elsewhere.
She could feel the warmth returning.
His greeting had her snort softly in fond amusement, even as she leaned towards him at his touch, brushing her muzzle against his neck softly, feeling a sense of comfort return. She was surprised by the flowers though, accepting them with a soft laugh, "You didn't need to bring me anything." She teased, as she laid down, tugging on a strand of fetlock to get him to do the same, her gaze briefly drifting out to the ocean once more.
Her heart had settled with his arrival though.
"Sol . . . His name was breathed gently as she glanced back towards him, her expression soft, but not giving anything away, "I won't beat around the coral . . . ." She started, "There's . . . something between us. Perhaps there has been for a while, and I was just doing my best to ignore it, pretend it wasn't real, but it is there, here . . . " She started, acknowledging what she knew he could feel too, "But, I also know, I'm not at the same place you are . . . not yet anyways."
She reached towards him, muzzle brushing his.
It was the hardest part, to explain where her heart was, and not discourage him at the same time, "I can't say those words back to you, but . . . . I still, I would like to try to see where this goes . . . see if in time, my feelings continue to grow to the point where I can. There's something there already. Affection . . . . attraction. I'm just not as deep in the water as you are. I'm still treading in the shallows." Her gaze had lifted up to him cyan eyes staring deeply into gold, "Can we try . . . try to see where this goes? Continue to take it slow, let it progress as it always has between us? No changing who we are, who we are together, and just see where it goes." She felt like a pup, a little fry that was expressing herself to a crush for the first time.
She pressed her forehead to his once more.
Her eyes drifted shut, "Would you have me, as I am right now, so we can grow into this relationship, moving forward, together?" She asked quietly, pulling back and looking up at him, hopeful that she hadn't hurt him, he'd accept her as she was now, and they could move forward, as a couple, seeing where the relationship went. Not mates, but perhaps one day.
The fact that Yuki trusted him enough to take him up on his offer was a huge step in the right direction in Sol’s eyes. Perhaps the little serpent was not so bad after all. She was cold against his pelt, though not uncomfortably so. When she slid from him to Bel, Sol dipped his head and smiled at the creature.
"May not have needed to, but wanted to. And the gift that I have been working on is not quite ready yet." He laughed softly, following her tug to lay beside her. This was a peaceful place, the view amazing. But yet, the fact that he was there with the aquatic mare made it that much better. They were opposites in nearly every way possible, but yet there was a spark between them that was hard to pin down completely.
Then she began to speak and Sol’s heart clenched. "I understand…" He began, not sure what to say at the words. It wasn’t a definite yes, but didn’t seem quite like a no either. The stallion’s heart thundered in his chest as he listened and watched the mare. Her touch, her caress… It was both a balm and a shock to his anxious system.
"I think I knew that in my heart… Perhaps it was your past, or mine. I am not sure. No matter what, I would be honored to at least try. I can’t promise that I will instantly be back to being just your friend. My own feelings are stronger than that. But I will not push or pressure you in any way. You make the decisions on how things move and I will do my best to follow." He answered, trying to make her understand where he was standing on this matter. Then she pressed her forehead to his. It was such an alien move for him, but yet such a fitting one. Her scent wrapped in the salt from the sea was intoxicating for the stallion.
She pulled away from him faster than he wanted, though he could do nothing but stare at her and smile. "Does this mean I have your permission to court you properly?" He teased softly, letting her know that he would accept her always. Ideas already spun around his head of ways to try to win her heart fully, though he knew he would take it slow and not overwhelm the mare. Hopefully the first gift, the one sitting in his home in a safe place until it was finished, would be a good starting point.
it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
Bel smiled warmly at Yuki, nuzzling her bonded.
But her gaze was on Sol, smiling at the flowers, laughing at his acknowledge that they weren't needed, and not caring that he did it anyway. But the idea of another gift had her pausing in surprise, ears perking slightly, "A gift? What gift?" She asked curiously, even as he laid down next to her. Just his presence, seeing him again, feeling the heat wafting off his form seemed to settle every set of nerves she had. How had she not let herself notice this before. No, she knew how, the both did, so trapped in her past.
Her words were hesitant.
But she needed to tell him something, and at his 'I understand...' She knew he didn't yet. So she kept speaking, talking it out, trying to make sure he knew it wasn't a no, it couldn't be a no, she couldn't just go back to pretending this wasn't here. And then, he did seem to understand, his words seemed a little more certain, even as he shared his point, the point she knew very well already. She smiled softly, nodding her head, "I don't want you to go back to just being my friend. . . " She assured him gently, before figuring that actions spoke better than words for him lately.
So, she shifted her body.
Her side pressed against his, leaning into him, the slight sizzle of her vapors touching his own heat before falling silent as they regulated proper. Her muzzle dropped, draping over his foreleg, and she couldn't quite hold back the sigh of contentment at the contact, the warmth blooming in her chest, her gaze staring back out at the sea again, "I know where your heart is, and I cannot blame you for feeling it, nor would I ask you to ignore it. But, letting me set the pace is all that I do want to ask for." She agreed.
It was already getting easier anyways.
She lifted her head again, looking back at him warmly, "Where more than just friends now, even I can see that. It's just letting it naturally develop, letting me get there on my own, too. No need to rush, after all, right." At his teasing words, however, she paused, startled at the question, the words, before her smile came back, brighter, warmer, and she knew, a part of her was already lost in him, "Yes, yes, I guess it does. Looks like we're courting now." The word fell so softly from her, almost in awe as she nuzzled him again, before she paused, her muzzle dipping into a slight frown, a small filly jumping to her thoughts.
"What about Jiri?"
The question came quickly, the image of the small, smiling face, the little body colliding with her, the memory of the squealed 'Auntie.' "What will we tell her? I don't want us to encourage her before we know for sure ourselves . . ." She asked suddenly, looking up at Sol. She'd be the first to admit she absolutely adored the little filly, loved her psuedo niece with all her heart, but ... she also knew she wasn't ready to be 'mom' yet either. And, she was fairly certain, with how well Sol knew her, he'd understand that too.
It'd break her heart, to break that foal's.
"Bel" Yukime
@Sol Bestiam Notes:: I really, really wanted to have her squeal a 'yes' at asking if their courting. But I had to acknowledge that she's not really the squealing type.
09-12-2021, 05:52 AM - This post was last modified: 09-12-2021, 05:53 AM by Below Zero
Sol laughed softly at her reaction to his surprise gift. "It isn’t done yet, but soon." He remarked softly, nuzzling her neck gently. There was a calming presence when her cool body was next to him, making the stallion sigh softly with the pleasure of just her company.
Her words were hesitant, like she was trying to figure it out herself as she spoke to the stallion. Sol listened, his heart thundering. Before he could speak, she shifted and pressed against him. "I am glad for that at least. I do understand that you are not where I am. But I do thank you for giving me a chance at least. Your past was traumatic on many levels, and I do understand the struggle to work through things." He murmured as he pressed his muzzle to her cool flesh.
"Good thing I like you being in charge. It gets me out of my own head and lets us figure things out better." He teased, listening to her speak. Her words were music to his ears and he could already feel the tension dropping from his frame. Then she smiled. The warmth and brightness of that smile was like the auroras that had given him his magic.
"I will take it." Though a part of him was anxious all over again. He had never truly courted another. His brain was dancing with ideas and questions. Then Bel asked her own. "For now, why dont we leave things as is with her for now. She is young enough that she may not understand when we try to explain it." And Oriens knew he did not want to encourage the sassy little filly.
it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
There was a sort of peace she felt settling.
The warmth of his body, his soft tone, gentle laugh. She was curious about this laugh, as she tilted her head, wondering what he might be preparing for her, "Do I get a hint?" She asked, blinking up at him with wide, imploring eyes. She was still pausing to try to figure out how to speak, worried for his reaction, how to not let him give up hope . . . Of course, it felt like the moment she shifted to lean against him, her cool hide touching his, she felt those worries disappear.
He had a way of just calming her.
"I've always had a hard time telling you no," She admitted quietly, relaxing at the touch of his muzzle, the heat of his pelt against her own, her fins lying flat, almost flopping to the side as she felt her heart settling and her expression softening, "I couldn't not give you a chance . . . ." She paused, before looking up at him, and then nuzzling her head beneath his jaw, rubbing her cheek against the side of his neck, "I've become to dependent on you not to give this a try . . . not when being with you feels . . . feels so . . .right."
It was like he'd become her own private addiction.
She snorted, laughing at his teasing words, "I think that's just your kink, do you prefer a dominatrix, Sol?" She teased, even if she knew from the way he'd taken charge in the past that he would never be the sort to be the subjected one. But letting her set the pace did seem ideal. It would be easier. It would be smoother . . . THere was too much potential for it not to just go . . . right.
The thought of Jiri was worrying to her.
She did agree to his decision to leave things as the filly, though she snorted softly, "Oh, I've seen how much that filly proves she can understand." She teased, lowering her muzzle, draping it against his foreleg as she relaxed at the edge of the cliff, at peace with this meeting, this decision having gone so well now, "It'd be better to leave it as is, so she doesn't try to play matchmaker. I've watched the way she'll share way more than you want her to . . . remember?" She added with a playful laugh, remembering that day in the cave where she'd received her immortality.
Would he ever be able to tell the mare no? Probably not. She had him wrapped around her hoof and he was completely at her mercy. "Hmm… Well… It isn’t flowers." He answered with a wink as she pressed closer. That touch was a calming presence to the stallion and he found it easier to breathe.
Sol snorted when she spoke again. "Funny… I was just thinking the same thing. No seems to disappear from my vocabulary when it comes to you." He remarked, the tension draining away as they spent time together. No, it wasn’t going to be the easy friendship that they had maintained for a few years now… but it had the chance at becoming something so much better. "I couldn’t imagine my life without you… You are as much a part of me as my wings… You have become my personal moon, drawing me back to you every time we part." He murmured, his muzzle caressing her neck as he spoke.
"I was bred to lead…" He laughed, heart light as he watched her. "Yet I find myself easily letting you take over when it comes to us. I would rather step back and give you the choices instead of possibly losing you due to my stubbornness." He admitted, grinning as he watched her reactions.
Bel had definitely pegged the filly and her moments of observation. "Yeah… Since she is already determined that you are more than her aunt… I think we will just let her stick with we are friends until we are completely certain of the direction things are heading." He laughed as he winced. Yeah… Jiri was really good at spilling his words when he was not with Bel to the mare. Darn filly could be the death of him if he wasn’t more careful about how he worded things.
it was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife
this strife, it dies, this life and these lies
and these lungs have sung this song for too long
and it's true, i hurt to remember i loved you
She tilted her head at the single hint he offered.
She laughed, shaking her head at his wink, "Well, I suppose that is a hint, although it doesn't tell me much." She pouted playfully, before nuzzling against his side, shifting slightly until she had tucked herself under his wings, and settling more firmly against his side, a soft sigh of contentment leaving her. She tilted her head playfully at his words, "Hmm, yes, I believe I've noticed that." She teased, her own tension disappearing, relaxing.
This was why she couldn't just give him up.
Why she couldn't just walk away. Couldn't leave him with out trying. Because somewhere she'd become clingy, dependent, desperate for his company. Their fight, those months apart had been impossibly hard on her. The fear she'd never see him again. The fear he'd never come back. That he wouldn't cross the chasm, just like Shard had refused to. It had just taken her time to realize how deeply these feelings ran. At his soft words, the touch of his muzzle to her neck she smiled faintly, "You always were good with sugary sweet words, however." She teased, to distract herself from the flush, the rush of warmth his words produced.
She pressed her forehead against his neck, breathing in his scent.
"Fairly good thing I have no intentions of walking away, isn't it?" She asked, looking up at him. How had she been so blind to this, to what he felt for her. How had she ignored it. Convinced herself it was her imagination, he was just a friend. "Not even your stubbornness could chase me away, silly!" She huffed playfully, before shaking her head, gently grooming his shoulder, "I've always liked your stubbornness, your ability to challenge me to think about things differently, consider other angles . . ." She paused, muzzle pressing a soft kiss at where his wings met his shoulder, before she turned her attention to his feathers, realigning them gently, "But we both know, sometimes you'll have to take the lead too, when I get myself backed into a corner. Had you not taken the lead to admit to me, I'd have always just assumed what I saw, what I felt was my imagination . . . .
"I could have missed out on this."
Thankfully he was always there to gently guide her back to the straight path too. She finished tidying up the feathers she could reach, before slumping down next to him, content to just cuddle up to his side, smiling when Jiri was brought up. "I had a sneaking suspicion she was heading in that direction." She admitted, before nodding softly to his suggestion, "Least we encourage her, you mean." She agreed, "Before we can get all of this figured out." So why did the thought that the direction could go south suddenly squeeze at her heart. The mere possibility of this not working out like he wanted, like she was beginning to believe in.
What would happen to them, if it did go belly up?
What would it mean for her relationship with Jiri. The mere thought of losing either of the two alarmed her enough that she snuggled deeper to the stallion, letting his warmth sooth her thoughts before the frost creep could betray her thoughts. Feeling the larger body against her side, his warmth wafting over her, his wing draped around her her, she felt her heart beat slow again, that start of tension disappearing again, "Sol . . . promise me, if this doesn't go the way we hope it will . . . I won't lose either of you." She finally asked quietly, not looking up at him, both sets of eyes focused firmly on her own front legs, "I can't lose either of you." Because he was already such a big part of her.
Sol chuckled as he shook his head. "Might not be much, but that is all you are going to get. Even Jiri has no idea, so she can’t help you." He said with a laugh, winking one golden eye at the mare as she tucked herself closer. He lifted his wings to help, draping them over her back and feeling like his heart was going to explode with the emotions that were sweeping through him. This was something he had never imagined happening. Something that felt surreal and dreamlike.
There was a part of his heart that was determined that he would never have this chance. Her calling him her friend had been blows that made his heart hurt, though he kept the facade that kept him from showing his pain. Yet, he couldn’t be mad at how life was panning out. Things were still a bit odd, a bit too new to really have the massive stallion fully comfortable with what was going on. He couldn’t let himself fully believe that it was actually happening. Every touch, every word… it was enough to make the stallion’s heart jump. "Sweet words are always nice, but the fact that they are honest and finally saying what I wanted to say… It makes it more meaningful for me. I still can’t believe that we are at this point. That this is something that we are actively looking at." He admitted, his muzzle dancing along her neck in soft caresses.
Sol grinned. "Damn good thing. I might have to chase you if that was the case, my heart." He laughed, shaking his head as she continued. "If I am stubborn, what does that make you? It only took me yelling at you for you to hear that I loved you." Sol teased, nibbling at her ear as he tried to make her laugh. When she started to tend his feathers, the stallion felt a surge of love for the aquatic creature that was pressed to his side. There was a tone to her voice when she spoke of missing this that had him turning his head to watch her more carefully. "I am glad we aren’t missing this." He murmured softly.
Sol snorted softly at the mentions of his daughter. "Perhaps not mine by blood, she does have a stubborn streak that proves her my daughter. I just hope she grows to have your heart and compassion." He murmured before pausing. There was a moment that seemed uneasy and he watched her carefully. Then his heart clenched.
"Even if this doesn’t work… in what ever way… I will never leave you. You are my moon, my drive. The reason I have worked so hard to become better. I can’t bear the thought of losing you, and I know that Jiri will choose you over me any day if asked. We love you. I love you… You are my heart." He promised, watching her unease and wishing he could take it away.
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