"Why can't you stay Eik?"
There is a mournful look in his eyes. He tries to find the words to explain how staying too long would be like a betrayal. Maybe it wouldn't have before he made friends here, before he fell in love, but now things have become personal instead of political. And it might just be part of the game you play when you are Emissary, but Eik never put much value into games. He values duty and a job done well, and so he holds himself to a level of professionalism that does not leave room for his own desires.
The problem is that at the start of all this, he thought he didn't have a heart. At least, not one so bloody and so loud.
There is something of a demand in her tone, something he does not want to mess with. So he does not say what he's thinking out loud- "I do not deserve anything"- but the sentiment is so strong that he can't keep his magic from rudely announcing it to Moira Tonnerre and the rest of the library, all those books and scrolls and scraps of paper crammed into whatever space will take them. "I will stay as long as I can," he says at the same time that his thoughts silently fill the air, and the two sentiments (one a protest, the other a resignation) weave around each other messily.
The quiet then that saddles them, it is full of words unspoken. He's looking at the book before him but not seeing, instead he is feeling the undercurrent of her twirling thoughts. He senses her mind shifting and swaying but not the sentiment driving it. It is akin to standing on the bow of a ship and feeling the bobbing of the water, but not knowing how deep it is, or where it comes from, or which way it goes next. Of course, at any point he could pull the thoughts directly from her mind, and she would never even know, but he would never do such an intrusive thing to a friend.
It seems like a great weight off his shoulders when she suddenly leans against him. Her breath is warm and intimate on his neck and no small part of him is in awe at how easy it is to be here like this, at how right it feels. Her voice is a lullaby- "Just... stay with me a while, won't you?" to which he simply nods, and hums a soft "mmm" in agreement.
Eik does not want to speak of how he is torn between love and duty, because it is not in his nature to confide... but oh, love has made him weak, and duty has worn him thin, and he does not much feel like himself these days anyway. "Moira?" There is a question that sits in his chest, a question that he wants to ask everyone and anyone but he does not. It is a private question, or at least it feels private to him. It is something he would only ever ask a very close friend. "What do you think about love?"
the biggest ache was mine
@
Time makes fools of us all
