[P] never told no one but we look so cute

[Marisol]

heaven talks
but not to me

It is when Theodosia falls to the ground that Marisol thanks her predecessors, for the first time, for beating so much apathy into her.

It is what keeps her sane as she reaches to pull the cadet back up; it is what keeps her heart from pounding completely out of her chest, hard as it beats now; it is what keeps her head clear as she thinks desperately please be okay, please be okay and watches the rainwater at their feet go rose with blood. Almost, she thinks, this is worth than a battle wound. In the middle of a spar there is no time to regret and no time to think twice about you’ve done; here, in the cold silence of the night, Marisol cannot quite do anything but think about her wrongdoings.

She presses closer to Theodosia and feels the wet burn of her skin and prays, prays, that the coldness will not stay, that it is not fatal.

The cadet sounds drunk, almost, and Mari’s heart constricts as she remembers their meeting in that bar in the heart of Terrastella. Shut up, she says, but the timber of her voice is panic, not anger. Shh, stop talking. You’re wasting your breath. Yes, we can, but we have to go home first, yeah? They’re not going home. Marisol knows the path to the hospital as well as she knows the feathers on her wings, and she raises her chin to seek out the building rising high over the others and grimaces at how far it is. 

Just lean on me, she says, and takes a first painful step forward.

credits