Katniss has seen many things in her ten years. She has seen war and destruction, some of it at her own hand. She has seen pain, pain far greater than anyone should ever have to bear witness to. And yet, the mare has also seen love and happiness. She things of Metaphor and wonders if the stallion ever knew that she loved him. Had she told him her feelings? Perhaps he might not have left or perhaps he would have fought harder to stay with her. She thinks of her daughters, the two that probably saw her as a cruel monster. Where were her daughters now? Were they alive and well? Or were they buried six feet beneath the earth. And last of all, she thinks of those that she had once called citizens of Beta Corvi and of Elysian. Where were they now? Were they safe? She hoped so.
She confesses to the Duck Court king that fitting his role would her better in time. She hopes he takes her words seriously, that she is offering him wise advice. She catches his words and offers a slight nod of her head, as her eyes peer around the others in the room. “Perhaps once or twice.” She leaves her words open for interpretation, but her voice holds a sense of truth, something about it is easy to trust and tells Asterion that she is telling the truth.
But even as she takes a sip of her punch, feeling the way it seems to temporarily drown out the sadness that her memories bring, she knows that she cannot bury her feelings. They will only fester and grow until she is unable to contain them. And so, she speaks softly, this time her words spoken with a sense of pain and longing. “The Rift has taken much from me.” Her home, her lover, her friends. But perhaps she needs to move on from these things. While the Rift had pulled her away, she should be thinking of it in the sense that, perhaps, The Rift had brought her towards something…something far greater than she truly understands in this moment.
But when Asterion speaks, she turns her head to look at him, her eyes catching his even as one of her peacock feathers within her mask floats in front of her eyes. She listens to him, nodding in agreement. She did say she would stay and rebuild. She knew that Denocte was nearly rebuilt and yet, Katniss doesn’t feel ready to leave, as if something is keeping her here. She is not sure what it is, but the pulling to stay is buried deep within her. “I go where I am needed. Something tells me to stay, but I am unsure of why.” Perhaps it is the gods telling her that her time has not ended, that something better is planned for the dapple grey mare. “What of your own court? Does it need help rebuilding? I can certainly help you.” She had the height and strength that not many others had. She could help and perhaps she would be far more useful helping versus waiting for something else to happen.
@asterion
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