[P] Dearest Runaveig,

[Only]

  

“ there are bullet holes where my compassion used to be ”

The Night Market,


at one point in my life it had been a thing of my nightmares but these days I think that enough time has passed that no one will recognize my face.  If they do, then they certainly have forgotten the reasons why they remember the long, black, narrow nose that pokes around from venue to venue.  My ambling pace, coupled with a favored right forelimb, suggests that I have not seen a bed for days.  


Its true, I can't remember the last time I saw the backs of my eyelids.


I have been running and running and running, running, running, for a very long time.


I arrived in Denocte last night after a long-winded journey from the bottom of the sea.   Yes, the sea.  Magic granted me the ability to walk through water as if I belonged there.  Gravity granted me the ability to sift through the sands like some kind of bottom feeder -- an accurate metaphor for my position in life as well as a literal situation.   It is strange to know what kind of magic is out there - to know how much it can change from border to border, from land to land.  That the Slip is very real, and that it happens to us all,


And,


at one point or another we always end up here in Novus regardless of wherever it was we were before.  Some of us though .. some of us pop out of the ground here like dandelions.  Some of us truly belong here.  Others, like me, we are only here to complete a mission.  We don't belong here and Novus knows it.  There is a tangible wave of tension that surrounds me.  A field of energy that, if one were empathetic enough to sense, would realize that I am major-stranger-danger.  No magic here though, Novus knows better.  It knows me. It knows why I am here again.


 I'm here because Stephen made me come me here. 

I'm back because I made a mistake.  I lied.  I lied and got someone killed for nothing.

I made a mistake bigger than the one that I made here in this exact spot.  Almost two years ago - I think - I was trying to steal something precious from someone I underestimated.  Two years ago I got this scar on my face that would make me remember - forever - that I was bad at taking things that did not belong to me.  Did that stop me from ever doing it again?


No.  


Until I find what I am looking for, I decide I will lay low here.  There is no way I can risk running into Florentine, not now, I'm not ready.  Her candy boy is gone anyways - the one that tried to properly accuse me of stealing, what was his name?  Nickelback?  Rickledick?  Reichenbach?  Ah, yes, that's the name.  I don't even know if she is still here in Novus or if her own magical knife has taken her light years away from me.  If it did, I wouldn't be surprised.  Quite honestly, if it has, then I am genuinely relieved.  She has a way of weaseling secrets out of you no matter how deep down you try to bury it.  It doesn't matter how dark the places inside of you are, she is a light of discovery .. and I hate that about her the most. 


The market has not changed much since I dashed through it in a highspeed chase.

I recognize the same piles of fruit that I rudely stomped through.

...the piles of rich and rare fabrics that I muddled through and muddied with my feet..

...the familiar fires that tried to burn me as I nimbly capered through them.


Somehow it awakens an old pain in my feet, I remember standing in the live coals as the knife girl rounded on me and stopped me dead in my tracks.  The singe of defeat burned so much deeper than on the surface of my skin.  Burning.  Burning.


Suddenly, I could hear singing off in the distance and I wondered for just a brief moment .. was I that unfortunate to be in the same place as Florentine right now?  Something rooted me to the ground right here.  Right in the middle of a busy crowd.


My ears went back, green eyes looking around, mind screaming 'no, no, don't be here,' I searched and searched and searched.  No buzzing bees, no fluttering flowers, no candy-colored carousel horses.


She wasn't here, thank god.  But some other girl was.  Some dusty, stripy, horned thing that was more beautiful and spectacular than the trinkets I had been planning to lift later at night.  I simply watched her as she drifted from stand to stand, I tried not to look so obvious in my speculation but how could I not?  I was supremely undecorated compared to the Night Court civilians, very dulled and flaking dry scales in the wind like a molting snake.  I was just a shadow.


She drifted like ashwood duff in a warm August air, I was staring at her.  


I was staring like a schoolboy might.


I was staring so long it was almost rude.


Somehow we were close enough, I don't know how long it took for me to finally make my way to her and to do it so casually that it didn't come across intentional.  I'd always be the first one to say something because I had nothing to lose.  So I said 'Hi' to her. The color of sunset was attractive on her and I hated myself for looking.  Immediately I turned my attention to the stand but I didn't even know what it was that I was looking at.  Civilization was a thing that always eluded me, I was and would always be some strange thing that would be separated from the rest of society.  


For a land that celebrates Night, Dusk is a breathtaking sight to behold here - as the sun scarlets the Arma mountains out on the horizon.  As smoke and violet wash the evening in a dreamlike haze.  I am too wound up to get weepy and poetic about it all.  Dusk is the perfect time to steal things - lots of things.  Things you need.  Things you don't need.  A time of smoke and mirrors.  A time of deflection.  A time for crime. A time to get distracted by a girl who has the voice of an angel.


"Were you singing?  Earlier?  I'm supposed to learn how myself but I don't think I'll have much luck.  I'm better at shattering glass with my high notes than I am at impressing a crowd - you though..."


I have ventured too far with too many words already -- I drift off and let my eyes wander over the wares of the table we have come together in front of.  "I'm Only.  I just got here."




ooc:  I am lifting old html off of an old post of mine so if this layout does -not- work or view correctly please let me know. I'm also chained to Microsoft edge because chrome won't let me login to Novus.  o.o  P.S. Sorry for how boring this opener is.  I promise it'll be better. 

O N L Y
and there is violence in my heart

 

@Runaveig