[P] i'll be fine, i'm alright, it's my body

[Marisol]

dying moon
keep me up
keep me waiting

Marisol wishes she had spent more time in the fields, as a child. She had always been drawn to the sea and its terrible beauty, the terrible, beautiful drop of the cliff into the crashing water — perhaps it was her downfall. Perhaps, if she had been more attached to the cobblestone buildings of the inner city or the beauty of the way Susurro stretches into infinity, she would not be… like this. Grief-stricken. Stone-hearted. The Commander with the bloody smile.

But it is far too late. Now, willful or not, she belongs to the ocean.

Even as the Commander trudges further into the fields, she feels the sea calling her, tugging with nagging insistency at the salt in her heart. She hears its roar in her ears, though it must be a mirage (it is too far away for the waves to reach her). As the sun settles lower and lower on the horizon, the sky turns from blue to purple to fleshy petal-pink. The stubby golden grasses of the field become a reflection of the sunset, and suddenly they are awash in shades of warm red, orange and violet, undulating in waves as the wind goes rushing past and bends the blades to meet the dirt. The world is very quiet and very warm. The air smells of something familiar, between hay and rain.

Normally, the fields would be bustling. They are often used as a meeting place, not just for Terrastellan officials, but for the trysts of lovers and gaggles of teenagers sneaking out at night. Today they are unusually silent. Mari cannot see anyone else for yards and yards, and there is no sound except for the stubborn beat of her heart, the wind churning, and the whisper of the million blades of grass moving against each other. She comes to a stop in the sea of flora and closes her eyes.

A deep breath in, a deep breath out. For a brief moment respite comes to her. Her mind goes blank, her pulse steadies, her stance strengthens; perfectly still, Marisol is simply a vessel for calm, letting it pass through her like a tidal wave and trying desperately to keep herself in its path.

But then a noise sounds, and it is all over.

credits