Sol Bestiam
"No, I can't just shuck the weight off of me. Whether the choice was made for me or not, I broke my vow to stay by her side, to protect her and care for her. For that, I carry the guilt, the blame. I should have stayed with her, protected her and helped her. But I was far younger then - afraid even. Abandoned by the Pod is a death sentence, leaving it was casting yourself in exile. I couldn't bring myself to walk away so I might stay with her . . ." Sol gazed at her with soft golden eyes, orbs that were molten than usual as he watched her struggle with the guilt that seemed to be overwhelming her. He hated it. The more he heard about her past, the more he detested her pod. But then, he hadnt been the beacon of perfection as a colt either and had made his own share of mistakes that had driven him away with guilt of his own. "I understand. Trust me. I also have learned that holding on to guilt and pushing harder on yourself is the easiest way to completely lose it and become what you dont want to become. You must learn to forgive yourself as much as those around you." A huge part of his grumpy nature was due to guilt, something that Bel herself had helped him to work through a bit more. She was the first true friend that he could claim.
The pain in her voice as she explained the circumstances and gave him more information about her species tore at his grumpy heart. While he had a mask over his softer nature when it came to others... Bel broke through that. He let himself trust her enough to be his true self with her. The self that cared about others and even could have reverence if he felt that he could understand a higher power. "I am truly sorry for everything that you went through. There is no reason that you should have had to deal with all of that on your own. A father should put his own grief aside so that he can see what is best for his family, not wallow. Leave the wallowing for when he can afford to do it, not while there is still crisis in his home." He had resented his own sire for not caring about his family enough to put his own emotions aside while dealing with strife. "But my personal thoughts are not what you need right now. I am here to support you no matter what. You are my dearest friend, the one that accepted me when no one else would. And I would be a terrible friend if I didnt accept you no matter what. I am here for you." He promised, his head lowering to where he could look her in the eye and let her see the promise within them. There was an inkling that there might be more than friendship blooming in his heart, but he refused to acknowledge it until he knew for sure... and knew that she wouldnt laugh at him for it. There was a fear of rejection buried within him that he didnt even fully recognize.
"Come, no point in sitting around waiting for a Bad Luck Fish to swim by . . . let's join the festivities, some fun might be just what the doctor ordered. Good bye Momma, Polar." Sol smiled as she pulled a strand of his mane. Taking the time to carefully tuck his wing back in, he shook his head. "Fun sounds perfect. Any particular brand in mind?" He asked, careful to not interrupt her good byes to her beloved family. Part of him could not help but wonder what had happened after her sister had been abandoned. He would never bring up his thoughts, but they were lodged in his brain all the same. Shaking his head, he gazed at the festivities around them and wondered what all there was to do.
"Speaking."
Notes: <3 Sol was a bit pushy on his thoughts -headdesk-
