If there is a right way to burn, to rage, to devour the world, I have not discovered it yet. No matter how hard I try, and try, and try, to find the end of all this fury devouring me like a snake I cannot. Always it's there, an endlessness bigger than the blackness beyond the moon, devouring me from the inside out.
Soon there will be nothing left. That I've known since the end of time.
I watch Morrighan rage, and burn and bellow her fury to the heavens like a lion. And I understand, more than I, the mother of twins and a queen (almost god), care to admit. Part of me wants to open up my mouth, bare my teeth at the moon and bellow the bones of a god down from the heaven. Another part wants to walk between her flames to press our shoulders together like shield sisters before an approaching horde. Someday they will tell stories about her, the mortal girl with a fire in her heart and loyalty enough to hold together a kingdom.
Perhaps I should pause to wonder why I feel so detached lately, why I feel like more, and more, and more each night. But I already know the why, the sea whispered it to me once as it pulled itself like mold between my teeth and into my lungs. I try not to think of it as I move towards her with a furious sea calling back to her furious flames.
“It doesn't feel any better does it?” Her fire is warm against my face and it reminds me of the way the desert railed beneath my magic and the way its walls turns to diamonds when I demanded it. All this heat reminds me of war as much as the snow reminds me of sinking into the deep, black sea like I was full of stones instead of desperation. I don't wait for her to answer me, I already know that all the screaming in the world doesn't help (nothing does).
Char turns to grass again at my feet and the black soot turns to glittering gold. I press my nose to a flame and do not pull back as it licks hungry at me even though it hurts. And maybe I'm talking more to the fire than to Morrighan when I ask, “Would you like me to burn the world down with you? Would it help?” My eyes are heavy when they land on her and the smoke is bringing tears to my eyes that have nothing to do with rage, or fury, or heartbreak. I wonder if she will even seem them through the smoke, and embers, death.
And I know I should worry about whatever answer she might give me. I know I should. But I do not.
I do not.
@Morrighan
