[P] closed doors and open windows [marisol]

[Elena]

every day it feels like I’m holding back an ocean

Delicate features cringe on her golden face as she watches the weather float on from outside her cover of trees. She really hated winter, it has been said before and it will said again. Elena is a child of summer through and through. She is a child of the sunshine, of flowers standing tall and beautiful, and she is a child of the warmth that she remembers surrounding her back when she had been with her family. This is not Elena’s first winter, she had experienced her first when she had lived in Windskeep, her birth land. She remembered having fallen asleep between the dark form of her father and the creamy form of her mother, feeling safe and snug as they kept close to her. Not too far off lay her buckskin grandmother, always staying close to the small family inside an even larger extended one. Then, those eyes had open beneath the fluttering of long, dark lashes and they opened wider still when the sights outside greeted her. It was a land cast into an alabaster shade, sparkling and shining in the morning light. Quickly, she had wriggled out from between her parents and raced to the outside, her feet sinking immediately beneath the flakes stacked on top of each other. That ash dusted muzzle lowered towards, touch reaching out hesitantly to taste the little creations only to find they tasted like water, and were cold to the touch. How strange! She stomped around in the strange landscape, kicking up her heels as her parents watched, leaning against one another like perfect puzzle pieces of contrasting colors. It was only when a cold breeze brushed by over the icy landscape and Elena felt a deep chill down to her bones that she moved back to the warmth and safety of her parents. “Okay,” she said in her young, little voice. “I think I am done with this, you can take it back to where it came from now.”

And has been her feelings on the matter of winter since. 

She is counting the days until the tulips bloom. 
Lilli? She wonders, asks, pleads, as she closes robin egg blue eyes, are you doing the same? 

These past few years had been a whirlwind of emotions, but she has settled now until she was a numb tranquility. Maybe you can only feel too much before you have to stop. But being numb was worse than anything else, this she knows. 

(He touches her, she can feel his warm breath. Everything is telling her to run, he knows she should go, tells her to do as much, and yet she stays. “Why don't you let anybody in?” Why don’t you let me in?)

Stupid, she had been stupid. Elena knows this now, but then why does she feel this heat under her skin despite the chill of winter. ‘Tunnel,’ she thinks, ‘get out of my head.’

She finds herself at the base of the tower in Terrastella. It looms over her like a shadow. She gets the eerie feeling someone is watching her and quickly those glacial blues turn to look behind her. No one. Tunnel. She still cannot get the feeling of him off her skin and it would seem her mind cannot leave him alone either, she was getting paranoid. Once more eyes turn to look at the tower, ignoring the way her skin creeps upon her spine. “No one is there,” she breathes. Her attempts at convincing herself are weak, but maybe she is not alone as she thinks.



* e l e n a
in the dark I’ll pray for the return of the light
the sunflower daughter of benjamin and beylani
medic of dusk.

@Marisol