What if I'm tryin', but then I close my eyes And then I'm right back, lost in that last goodbye? And what if time doesn't do what it's supposed to do? What if I never get over you?
In her rage and her fury she has forgotten his power, forgotten his awesome displays of darkness, of Caligo's might that touches his soul, is as much a part of him as the light is a part of herself. He is a vessel of darkness, of some pagan religion her family would never believe in, the childish part of her screaming against it, yelling incomprehensible things at him, demanding he move with the howls and growls that explode out of her like the night air about them.
When her rope is broken, when her wall is consumed, she turns the shattered pieces into drills. Small snake heads pierce the ground in a million little spots, rays of light shooting into the stone beneath them, tunneling faster than she can breathe, faster than she can move, in a circle that grows wider and deeper. Between them blossoms a sinkhole, a crater that crashes down, further and further, a widening gap between them as she pants.
Her eyes are wild, if they were pale and white surely they would be much larger than the beady dark, blackholes they now seem to be. They seek to devour every inch of him that defies her, that halts her from her own self destruction.
Who is a monk of Caligo to stop her?
This is what she wants so why does he keep talking.
Moira does not feel the tears that scrape her cheeks like knives until they are raw, does not even know they are falling. Yet they cloud her vision, mute the world as dust rises around them, blocking Tenebre from her, blocking her toppling to the ground from him.
All the energy, all the pent up rage, everything holding her upright begins to fall as she does. She feels light, she feels unhinged, she feels too much and cannot stand it, cannot handle the sheer muchness of it. He reaches her as she faints, the ground stops its rumbling as the light reaches to encompass them both, holding them together, lifting them just barely off the ground.
Everything is dark for her, for a moment, and her heart races when she does not scream. The phoenix wants so badly to stay here, stay where nothing matters, but she feels herself returning, floating towards a surface that is full of razors and shattered diamonds.
It's been only moments, but she feels as though she's been floating in the dark for eons. Her lights are nearly out when her eyes begin to flutter, her mouth a soft 'o' that quickly morphs into a frown. For a moment, she struggles. Ears tucked into riotous curls, eyes squeezed shut to block out everything, and yet, some part of her, some tense, tightly coiled bit, comes undone. Unleashed, untethered, she cries, and cries, and cries.
Great sobs are storms overturning a boat, her body shakes and quakes in his grasp, her breathing as erratic as the noises coming from her mouth. It won't stop. Moira can no more control her body than she can the weather, and so it goes in, exhausting her until she is just a dry heaving mess, gasping for air, for something solid to hold on to.
At last, at last when Tenebrae's hands rake through her hair and she feels the tenderness of her caress, her body begins to calm its quaking, her knees give out and she rests upon the ground. Like the night blooming jasmine, she looks up, opening to Tenebrae as the shrub does to the moon. He is a giant above her, but he looks down on her with something that is not pity, something she does not know, and she says "What do you do when Caligo leaves you?" Her voice is so hoarse, crackling from her screams and rabid growls, her eyes swollen and nose wet. "You, who are her disciple, her midnight lover, under stuck her spell, her thumb?" It is like smoke in the night, drifting so easily away, lingering only with its acrid scent.
Another small sob, another tear falls, and then, "They were my moon and my sun..." her voice hitches, she looks like a child begging for answers, trying to figure out what she did wrong. "They left...they left and left me bereft. I feel so...hollow"
It takes another moment for her to remember how to breathe, how to pull in oxygen as she pulls down light. There is no light here, not when his shadows are a safety net around the both of them, blocking her rage from the world, keeping her and Denocte safe. She is shaky when she speaks again. "When the world is only full of different shades of shadows, where do you find the light? Even storm clouds have silver linings... without them the winds have died and the storms fled. Without them..." her head shakes, falls down as she whispers, “there is nothing."
As she stares into the ground, looks to the pit she's carved, she says at last “"You have always known shadow's kiss upon your skin, have always moved in their soft embrace... I've only ever lived my life by candlelight. Never have I been so blind."
