azrael
I have seen too much death.
Her words draw his mouth into a thin line as he nods slowly, understanding. Gazing at her softly, the aurora stallion sighs, his words a quiet reflection.“Death is cruel… it takes without remorse.” His own memories jumble in his mind – memories of loss and destruction. Memories of those who cried to the night. Survivor’s guilt, just as hers, for not being able to save them. Nothing had pained the star-shed more than having to turn away from those who did not want his help. In his situation at least, those who had perished would have been allowed an escape, if only they were to set aside their pride and reach out for the lifeline. Their pigheadedness was the aspect which incited the bitterness in Azrael. For if only they had humbled themselves, no one would have needlessly died on the mountain that night.
“You cannot blame yourself… and you should not feel helpless. No one can take on the burdens of the world – and trying to do so will always end in disappointment and regret. All we can do is move forward, cherishing the memories and letting go of the bad.” His words are something he too needs to remember, on days when the memories seem too close and the pain too real to bear. But Azrael doesn’t allow either of them to wallow in the self pity for much longer, offering her a ray of encouragement. Perhaps coming from a stranger, without preconceptions, it would mean something more to the mare. “Rise and greet the world, my friend… it waits with a new day.”
As if illustrating his point, Azrael gazes across the vast openness of Sideralis Prairie. The sun here is warm and bright, forgiving as it shines upon them. It caresses the dips of every hill, casting hazy shadows against the treeline as it hangs in a clear azure sky. It is a day which paints the picture of serenity, one which welcomes Sayyida to Denocte, even if she wasn’t ready to embrace this new life.
How does one change the past? she asks, and Azrael offers a reassuring smile. “We cannot change what has already come to pass… all we can do is lift the sails and rechart our course. All we can do is grasp the hope that comes with tomorrow, pray for a chance at happiness with every new beginning.”
He pauses thoughtfully, wondering if she would appreciate his advice or simply add it to a heap of bitterness. Would she be ready to embrace the possibility of change? For a long time, he hadn’t been. Azrael had been lost to the past, marching in the caravan with a numbness that blocked out the world. For days, for weeks, the star-shed had walked without true direction. He’d experienced the world with no sense of feeling, and without a will to care. Time was the only healer in this – time, and reflection on his stars. By allowing himself grace and space to breathe, the healing had begun… but it was a journey, one which needed tending and patience.
“We can start by honoring the memory of those who we have lost. Would you care to share your stories with a stranger?”
In the gentle breeze, under the warmth of the autumn sun, it is easy for him to view her as an old friend – comfortable and honest. Perhaps too, she would find it easier to talk with someone about her grief – for only in her acceptance of the past would she find a path forward. Only in humility would she find her peace.
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