no escaping what is coming
eternity of being nothing
eternity of being nothing
There had been one thing most awful about her pregnancy besides the nausea, and that was her having to avoid the bar.
If someone asked Morrighan if she had a drinking problem, she would deny it, but it could very well turn into a bigger issue if she's not careful. There had been many nights she spent here just thinking and thinking and thinking. Some nights it was about Al'Zahra, some about Maeve, some about herself.
She'll often get stuck in a loop of when she told Al'Zahra the news. Her stupid little vulnerable heart was full of so much hope to start a family and maybe having some good in her life. How wrong she had been, how so very wrong. She was a fool to think Al'Zahra cared about her in any way besides just some fun fling. She was a fool to think she was special in the woman's eyes. They knew nothing about each other. They didn't know what the core of their souls looked like or how their hearts ticked. They only knew the lust and fire and smoke. It had been all passionate in the moment, but that was it. It was just a moment, nothing that ran deep.
Did she want that? Morrighan does not know. She doesn't even know why or how she's supposed to raise a daughter. One that is so full of light and life that makes Morr realize just how much she's lost. Did she ever hold that childlike innocence, or was it taken from her immediately by the war and the need to be a soldier? Did the fire consume it, never to be seen again?
She looks at Maeve and sees who she could've been. She looks at her and sees another fool. She does not want her daughter to turn out like a failure.
Failure.
The word repeats in her mind as she takes the last sip of her third drink. Her thoughts are becoming scrambled and her vision is blurry, but she can just make out the couple sitting nearby. They are close, they have that look, that stupid, lovestruck look. She looks over at them with wildness in her eyes.
"Yeah, don't get used to that. It's all fun at first and you think it's forever but then they rip your heart out of your chest like some fucking plaything," she spits - literally spitting on the floor as she talks. The couple is utterly repulsed. "None of it's real! None. It's all lies." She is rambling now and her speech is slurred, but she orders another drink anyway. The bartender looks on with concern at just how obviously drunk she already is. He warily fills a shot glass and passes it to Morrighan. Fortunately for him, she doesn't notice the difference.
"Bullshit, it's all bullshit," she mutters and guzzles down the entire shot.
Fuck you, Al'Zahra.
She took Maeve to Dawn Court for some festival and they were supposed to be back by now. With Morr's luck, she probably lied about that too or lost her daughter who knows where in Novus.
I'll kill her.
creditsOpen to any that want to deal with her sorry ass xD
