and bury it before it buries me
“It’s getting dark, Elena, have a safe trip home.”
His voice, it was never terrifying, Elena realizes it now. He hadn't been fear. If he had been fear, when Elena thought of his eyes later that night, it would have been a nightmare instead of just a passing thought as she snuggled closer to her cousin to try to sleep.
Do not think Elena fearless.
She has known it.
Just not from him.
She’s tired.
She stares into her tea, watching the steam rise, but she cant manage to bring herself to drink it.
He loved her.
He told her so.
And they danced in the lake as if it were a baptism.
She tries to take a sip, it is hot on her tongue, it stings, but she thinks she has felt worse pain than that, so the hot liquid slides down her throat. The pitter of rain hits against her windows, she waits for a patter but none comes. A chill climbs up her spine, despite the warmth inside. It comes with a thought. (She would never be enough – fragmented, broken, she would never hold any heart captive).The rest of the tea starts to grow cold, and Elena lets it.
Pitter, pitter, pitter.
She steps out the door desperate for a change of rhythm, a break in the constant. Pitter, pitter, pitter. She realizes quickly stepping out of her seaside home and walking down the trail that she is not alone on this rainy day. Something buries itself like a burr in her chest, tight and sharp, digging into the soft of her wretched heart. Blue eyes watch the shape of the man with gentle caution. She can feel his emotions almost like a tangible thing, pulsing around her and it cuts through her body like something sharp, something savage, complicated. There are no powers that pulse below his blood and Elena, who has grown so used to magic, finds it almost strange.
Her heart trembles reflexively in her chest when he turns to her, battering itself to death against the cage of rib-bones like a trapped moth. For once she is glad someone does not offer her words of kindness, does not give her simper on their face because the ache of doubt in her chest, the carved out hollow of flesh and bone, it isn’t ready to be filled with a smile. This isn't what love is supposed to feel like. “I cant help it, the sea in the rain has always captivated me, a wild, reckless thing.” She resents the tremble creeping into her voice, resents Tenebrae for putting it there. “Besides,” she says, she steadies herself. “I’m not alone. You are here, aren't you?” She walks closer to him, closer than any girl should walk towards a man like him. And she says things that girls like her should not say towards someone like him. Elena likes to think herself bold and daring in times she feels fragile and crumbling.
“I really hope you aren't looking to cause trouble. Terrastella is my home.” She says, looking up at him like some delicate little butterfly, blue eyes bright with more humor than warning. He has hands that can crush her and she tells him to go ahead and try. There is a smile on her face that unlocks her heart because she has never been able to turn down a stranger dripping with rain water.
Then, she, just a small moment, she thinks she sees the devil in his smile.
Although, Elena so often confused Hell and fire, thinking them one and the same.
But she has seen worse things.
She has feared those less deserving of it.
And stared fearless into eyes she would have best hidden from.
His voice, it was never terrifying, Elena realizes it now. He hadn't been fear. If he had been fear, when Elena thought of his eyes later that night, it would have been a nightmare instead of just a passing thought as she snuggled closer to her cousin to try to sleep.
Do not think Elena fearless.
She has known it.
Just not from him.
She’s tired.
She stares into her tea, watching the steam rise, but she cant manage to bring herself to drink it.
He loved her.
He told her so.
And they danced in the lake as if it were a baptism.
She tries to take a sip, it is hot on her tongue, it stings, but she thinks she has felt worse pain than that, so the hot liquid slides down her throat. The pitter of rain hits against her windows, she waits for a patter but none comes. A chill climbs up her spine, despite the warmth inside. It comes with a thought. (She would never be enough – fragmented, broken, she would never hold any heart captive).The rest of the tea starts to grow cold, and Elena lets it.
Pitter, pitter, pitter.
She steps out the door desperate for a change of rhythm, a break in the constant. Pitter, pitter, pitter. She realizes quickly stepping out of her seaside home and walking down the trail that she is not alone on this rainy day. Something buries itself like a burr in her chest, tight and sharp, digging into the soft of her wretched heart. Blue eyes watch the shape of the man with gentle caution. She can feel his emotions almost like a tangible thing, pulsing around her and it cuts through her body like something sharp, something savage, complicated. There are no powers that pulse below his blood and Elena, who has grown so used to magic, finds it almost strange.
Her heart trembles reflexively in her chest when he turns to her, battering itself to death against the cage of rib-bones like a trapped moth. For once she is glad someone does not offer her words of kindness, does not give her simper on their face because the ache of doubt in her chest, the carved out hollow of flesh and bone, it isn’t ready to be filled with a smile. This isn't what love is supposed to feel like. “I cant help it, the sea in the rain has always captivated me, a wild, reckless thing.” She resents the tremble creeping into her voice, resents Tenebrae for putting it there. “Besides,” she says, she steadies herself. “I’m not alone. You are here, aren't you?” She walks closer to him, closer than any girl should walk towards a man like him. And she says things that girls like her should not say towards someone like him. Elena likes to think herself bold and daring in times she feels fragile and crumbling.
“I really hope you aren't looking to cause trouble. Terrastella is my home.” She says, looking up at him like some delicate little butterfly, blue eyes bright with more humor than warning. He has hands that can crush her and she tells him to go ahead and try. There is a smile on her face that unlocks her heart because she has never been able to turn down a stranger dripping with rain water.
Then, she, just a small moment, she thinks she sees the devil in his smile.
Although, Elena so often confused Hell and fire, thinking them one and the same.
But she has seen worse things.
She has feared those less deserving of it.
And stared fearless into eyes she would have best hidden from.
so take away this apathy
bury it before it buries me
@
![[Image: ddvotwe-59302ba6-6a81-47bf-9846-30c5a5db...0iFb4PvyXE]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/8026a53b-dc57-41ab-b574-9f8a8fe57ce4/ddvotwe-59302ba6-6a81-47bf-9846-30c5a5db0780.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzgwMjZhNTNiLWRjNTctNDFhYi1iNTc0LTlmOGE4ZmU1N2NlNFwvZGR2b3R3ZS01OTMwMmJhNi02YTgxLTQ3YmYtOTg0Ni0zMGM1YTVkYjA3ODAucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.ujCJH7FAbsQhfZlQniMmEd_vw-VmvaTDn0iFb4PvyXE)
let's light this house on fire
we'll dance in the warmth of its blaze
pixel made by the amazing star
