Aubin was good at making me laugh, and I daresay he enjoyed it. And I enjoyed spending time with someone who didn't understand me at all- I could be anyone with him, practice playing different roles and he wouldn't know the difference. I don’t remember what we had been talking about. What we had been doing, where we had been going. None of it meant anything. It was all just time, wasted; youth, spent carelessly-- I don’t think there was any other way. If there was, I would have found it. I’m certain of this.
It was all a blur in my memories, the colors drained from the scene. Until the antlered pegasus stepped in, nimble and flighty as a stag, and pressed close to me. I stepped back, pure instinct, startled. It took me a second, but I would recognize those antlers anywhere. “Leonidas?!” I was shocked and, I admit, delighted to see him. But I noticed the way he huffed in distaste and stepped away after touching me, and I felt my joy instantly turn sour. I drew my head up proudly, and a small frown furrowed at my brow. What, was I not good enough? Did I not smell as sweet, feel as soft as he expected? Was I supposed to drop everything and swoon over the necklace he brutishly shoved at me? My temper flared.
Aubin cleared his throat. The sound brought me down from my anger and back into my body. Without my rage I felt exposed. I found myself overwhelmingly self-conscious to be standing there between those two boys. I didn’t know if it was better or worse how wildly different they were. To my left was Aubin the page, clean-cut and charming and utterly confident- the kind of boy fate leans into, with a smile that warmed me far more than I cared to admit. A city boy. To my right was Leo, slinking and skittish as a wild animal. He smelled of spring, loamy and lush, and something else, familiar yet not-- I imagined it was the scent of clouds. My skin was warm, nearly burning, where he had briefly pressed his muzzle to my neck.
Beneath my lashes, my eyes darted furtively from boy to boy. “Um, I’ll catch up with you later Aubin, okay?” I offered the young page an apologetic smile and a feather-light touch to the shoulder. I was not at all comfortable with... dismissing him, and I felt terrible about it, but I knew he would go on this evening to find some other, likely better, company. On the other hand, Leo was so obviously out of place here that I owed him my full attention. Not to mention, there was… we were… It was really good to see him. Really, really good.
Aubin dismissed himself with an amused sound in his throat and a mocking “yes princess,” followed by a deep, highly overdramatic bow that made me roll my eyes with a scoff. I made a shooing motion with my horn and he bounded off with a cheeky smile. (Only later, when I replayed the evening again and again in my mind, it would occur to me that I should have introduced them to each other. They might have even gotten along. But I also, to be quite honest, wanted Leo to myself.)
I looked at Leonidas and couldn’t feel my legs. At the time I attributed this entirely to the ghost-magic, which still flickered in me from time to time. My body would occasionally fade in and out as though I were made of mist, and all sensation would fade with it. It was not something you could ever get used to, not really, but I did my best.
“This is… for me?” I never had much interest in jewelry, but the gesture was strangely moving. And although I was no connoisseur of such trinkets, I could recognize that the necklace was beautiful. I hesitated, then awkwardly secured it around my neck. The delicate pink stone heart of the gift wriggled into my chest as though traumatized, murmuring something I ignored for the moment. I did not linger on the gift, and what it might or might not mean. It was not the first gift a boy had given me, but it was the first one I had worn. I was vaguely aware that if I started thinking about it too much, my thoughts would spiral away out of my control. So I did not let them stay at all. "Thank you," I said finally.
I formed my lips into a small smile that would not betray the wavering beat of my heart. “How are you? How did you find me?” I glanced around us, remembering suddenly where we were. “Do--” do you like my home? I bit off the question and let it die. It was so childish. And he clearly was not at ease here. My eyes did not miss the tension in his shoulders (were they broader than when we met?) rippling up and through his wings, which flicked and fidgeted as though each feather were dancing. I suppose I am grateful that wherever I go, I feel at home. I was always just as much at ease in the forest or plains, city or sea.
I did not like us standing and staring at each other like fools, not one bit. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?” I swept past him, and I intended to lightly brush my shoulder against his but the gesture was far more forceful, like a shove. In my mind it was too late to take it back, to apologize, and all I could do was laugh nervously. “Come on.” I began to lead the way to a quieter section of the market, where one of my favorite vendors sold spiced carrot rolls and barley tea.
Unconsciously I had begun to play with the necklace, with a gentle touch feeling its intricacies and delicate craftsmanship. It struck me that this was an expensive gift. Too expensive. I glanced behind my shoulder at Leonidas and pressed the necklace to my skin, and I reached into my magic. It was like opening a third eye-- or more accurately an ear. As we walked I let the pendant’s story begin to fill my bones with its truth…
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