A letter. A letter of words is always something written from the heart. It contains one’s deepest desires and reveals its darkest truths. A letter had to be thought out and planned. In her situation, a letter would do far more harm than good, at least once she continued on her mission. “I did send word. I wrote to Kibou and do the court to extend my absence. Did you, rather Antiope, not receive it?” When she knew she would not be home in a week or two, she had written a note. It was vague and held very few details, but she had sent word. She could not come home and tell her queen that her absence would be extended, so she had written. If Antiope had not received her words, then someone had happened.
Perhaps her letter had been lost in the mail, as so many letters have done. Perhaps her messenger bird had been killed upon his journey. There was no real reason as to why neither her son nor her queen had received her letter. But now it was far too late to wallow over spilled milk. What’s done is done. “After the initial letter, I could not send more correspondence. It would have given away my position and put myself in more danger.” As a warrior herself, she should at least understand that being undercover was important to a mission such as this. To carelessly send word and show her position would give her siblings an unfair advantage. But perhaps she misjudges her sense of strategy in times of war. After all, she doesn’t know Morrighan well.
But when she is finished telling her tale, she cannot help but notice that Morrighan is not pleased, that she is not satisfied. What did the mare want? Clearly she wanted something that Katniss could not give her. She wants more and Katniss is too tired to tell her that she cannot give her more. She doesn’t know her well enough to pour our her heart to her. Her siblings had been dealt with for now and knowing them, their bruised egos would keep them at bay for now. Sure, in time, they might try again, but they were too proud to come back now. Denocte was safe for now and Morrighan didn’t seem to believe her. They were at am impasse.
Thankfully, they finally move on, silently agreeing to disagree. Perhaps this was the start of a friendship? Respect? Or perhaps just a nice card to be played. However, Katniss does not need her hospitality. When Morrighan suggests that she make a trip to the medic, she shakes her head. “The medics cannot fix the real injuries.” Her body was bruised and bleeding, but her injuries extended far deeper than a few broken ribs or cuts that would fester and bleed. Her injuries ran far deeper than any medicine could ever hope to heal. Unless Morrighan could fix the loathing and self-hate she felt deep within her soul, there was nothing that could be done for her. “Kibou will not allow the superficial wounds to bleed, he will heal the cuts with his magic, even if I refuse.” His son had a healing heart. Even though Katniss wore her wounds proudly, her son would not allow her to bleed. His love for his mother would not allow him to see her in pain. And so, he would stop her bleeding, even if she asked him not to. He was so much like his father that it hurt.
This conversation seems over and yet, Katniss isn’t sure she’s quite ready to leave it. There’s so much unsaid but perhaps it is because neither one of them trusts the other. At some point they needed to build trust and respect. Katniss wasn’t sure if it would ever happen, though. If they left the conversation and carried on their separate ways, would anything really change? “I can settle in tomorrow…tonight, I am on boarder patrol.” Even if she wanted to go home, to hold her child close to her and sit quietly by the fire, her duties would always come before her own comfort. She might be broken and bruised, but she still had a duty to Denocte.
@morrighan
