Oh, won't you go, make the most of a bad existence
cause you're so much older than she ever planned to live with
cause you're so much older than she ever planned to live with
Ichor leaked in around the corners as though the bar was some old box stuffed away in someone’s cellar. That ever-present layer of sandstone dust which seemed to coat everything in Solterra dulled the colors and gave the bartop, old and oaken and hewn out of what was probably the last fucking tree in the desert, a somewhat uncomfortable fuzzy feeling. Or maybe that was just in Sabrina’s head. This was the most socializing she’d done willingly since Delphine had disappeared.
Dearest said that poor old man she’d developed a habit for bothering had chucked a bottle at her head and she could not stop herself from rolling her eyes. “Sounds like you deserved it,” she said, feeling like the young mare had gotten off rather light. Sabrina had always preferred to hot someone with the bottle-- her throwing aim was more affected by her temper than her smashing aim, and she did like that feeling of making a connection-- a physical one, that reverberates through the muscles and results in split flesh. Nothing emotional.
I don’t think anyone likes being alone. Sabrina mulled this over as her drink was placed in front of her, something simple in a glass compared to whatever concoction Dearest was having out of her large stein; old designs, long chipped and worn away, were etched into the hard ceramic. Sabrina watched with a flat face as she tossed back whatever was in there and belched hard enough to reverberate through the bartop and she had to swallow down foul, sharp bile, not from the act but from the familiarity. For a moment she was in a different bar, brighter but no less skeezy, and Puck and Delph had been slinging watered down soapy beers for two hours, and belching, and taking votes from the gathered clientele about who was more impressive. Sabrina saw fuzzy lines scratched in a white napkin with a golf pencil, dug long-forgotten from somebody’s pocket.
Dearest’s voice was far away as she talked about the proprietor of the fine establishment they were drinking in and waxing poetic about people and their fucking stories. And Sabrina felt something cold, cold and hard, well up inside of her, and all of a sudden she hated Dearest and she didn’t fucking care. She didn’t care about some sheltered baby walking into some shithole that attracted a whole bunch of sad people and then, by extension, feeling sad. She didn’t give a fuck about found family and that bullshit about appreciating the worth of a smile because it was all fake, fake, fake, and stupid and dumb and ripped from the seams out of some fairytale, and Sabrina knew fairytales didn’t exist.
“You sound delusional,” she snorted, swallowing her drink. It wasn’t bad. “Everyone’s got shit to deal with and sometimes it’s sad. Just because you didn’t realize that until you got here doesn’t make it groundbreaking.” She pushed her glass away and turned from the bar. “They like you because you pay them money and provide a service that may make them more money. But I guess if that makes you feel fulfilled then you’re luckier than most.”
She dropped a handful of signos on the counter and nodded a brief thanks to what’s his fuck-- Rugwolf, or whatever. Despite the incivility of her abrupt departure, she felt it was necessary; much longer and she would start punching people and breaking things.
Maybe Dearest just reminded her too much of Delphine. Or maybe it was Puck she kept seeing when she started to look too close.
“I’m not out here to make people miserable, so I truly hope you stay happy. And keep singing, and dancing, if that’s what you want to do. But you’ll find-- maybe not today, or tomorrow, or in the next season, but someday-- you’ll find the world isn’t nice, even if you smile about it.”
She tucked her wings in close, turned on her heels, and left.
"SPEECH" ! @Dearest
sorry this was very abrupt but this is where her character was taking me.... she's a HARD BINCH
sorry this was very abrupt but this is where her character was taking me.... she's a HARD BINCH
