The stars are alive, child! Did you know that? Everything out there is alive, and there are grand purpose abroad!
"No its fine" I replied quickly, awkwardly. "I thought I would manage but this is one thing I just can't seem to shake" no matter how many times I try to face it, I cannot quell the panic, that borders on hysteria every time.
I often think about how I've blown my one shot at motherhood, losing my both my sons due to my own failures, in one way or another. Knowing that now there is no way I could sustain a healthy pregnancy, knowing that even if I lived through it, no child would. I would rest easier, if I could at least know, that I hadn't blown my chances at love, not yet.
I said almost those same things to Cavalier once, and I am ready to nearly parrot them back to him. "You think I dont think the same way? That you don't deserve far better than an ailing woman? One who can hardly stand on her own four legs half the time?" I retorted softly, turning my gaze onto him.
I fell silent though, as he told his truths, gave me his story, one I never would have asked for him to share, but touched that he would do so. I dipped my head for him, as he spoke of his children, one he had to bury, though I had no words to comfort him, I knew well enough, that there weren't any. "Rhone..." I murmured. "I'm broken too"
"I was born into a throne, but my parents decided for me that I was too sick to hold it. And so my father took an apprentice, and when I fell for him... it was decided that he would take the throne when we wed. He did take it, and with it, he burned everything. the whole kingdom, slaughtered them. All because I was born as I am, and because I trusted him. I doomed all my people. I didn't even go back after, to see if any of them survived. " I can't keep my brow from furrowing slightly with regret. "My wife left with one of our sons... and when elysium crumbled..." I choke slightly on the words, and don't manage to finish the thought. "I didn't get to bury my other one."
I don't mean to trivialize his struggles, nor do i mean to diminish them. only to show him that I come with baggage to. "and there's the matter of my... lifespan. I've had ten years Rhone, and I don't think I have more than one or two good ones left. I had immortality in my clutch for a moment but I suppose the gods decided I didn't deserve it anymore... I want to make the most of the time I have. that's all."
@Rhone
I often think about how I've blown my one shot at motherhood, losing my both my sons due to my own failures, in one way or another. Knowing that now there is no way I could sustain a healthy pregnancy, knowing that even if I lived through it, no child would. I would rest easier, if I could at least know, that I hadn't blown my chances at love, not yet.
I said almost those same things to Cavalier once, and I am ready to nearly parrot them back to him. "You think I dont think the same way? That you don't deserve far better than an ailing woman? One who can hardly stand on her own four legs half the time?" I retorted softly, turning my gaze onto him.
I fell silent though, as he told his truths, gave me his story, one I never would have asked for him to share, but touched that he would do so. I dipped my head for him, as he spoke of his children, one he had to bury, though I had no words to comfort him, I knew well enough, that there weren't any. "Rhone..." I murmured. "I'm broken too"
"I was born into a throne, but my parents decided for me that I was too sick to hold it. And so my father took an apprentice, and when I fell for him... it was decided that he would take the throne when we wed. He did take it, and with it, he burned everything. the whole kingdom, slaughtered them. All because I was born as I am, and because I trusted him. I doomed all my people. I didn't even go back after, to see if any of them survived. " I can't keep my brow from furrowing slightly with regret. "My wife left with one of our sons... and when elysium crumbled..." I choke slightly on the words, and don't manage to finish the thought. "I didn't get to bury my other one."
I don't mean to trivialize his struggles, nor do i mean to diminish them. only to show him that I come with baggage to. "and there's the matter of my... lifespan. I've had ten years Rhone, and I don't think I have more than one or two good ones left. I had immortality in my clutch for a moment but I suppose the gods decided I didn't deserve it anymore... I want to make the most of the time I have. that's all."
@
