Caelum
Because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping
The past is doomed to repeat.
It's a saying that haunts the female - a worry that she kept buried deep in her core. A fear that she prays wouldn't be true. If the past isn't doomed to repeat, though; then why hadn't she escaped the broken record. Love, happiness, loss, despair - and then repeat. Over, and over again, a cycle that grew in the emotional trauma it left behind. A cycle that was traumatizing, wounding her. Never letting her heal before another round was called upon. Had she done something in a previous life to deserve it?
At least she wasn't skipping alone.
Every time that record needle slipped, bringing her to her knees, she had support. Friends pick her back up, dust her off, and reset the needle to the soundtrack of her life.Perhaps it was why she'd made it this far. Perhaps that was also why this conversation had hit rough water. Both friends knew the other extremely well, they had been friends for years after all. But while that kind of friendship has its upsides, it also made their fights more personal, and their verbal attacks a lot more hurtful. Particularly in cases like this one.
He just wanted to help, she wasn't ready.
His sigh soothed the bruised ego slightly, she allowed the kind words, warm tone, to wrap her in a familiar shelter of friendship and safety. Her smile, however, was still melancholy, "Mother always did tell me to act the part, so when you go for their throats, they are surprised. And always attack with words. A shaken confidence takes longer to heal than a wound." She mused quietly, "But, I also must be strong. For myself, for my people . . ." for my son. His concerned words did make the melancholy worry warm, however, the familiar way he showed his care, helped heal the hurt feelings. She'd forgotten how mothering he could be.
But she could hold out - just a while longer.
"The pressure may be tough at times, but I've shouldered more stress before - but if I ever need a helping hoof, you'll be the first I turn to. Promise." She reminded him, in an attempt to clear his mind, sooth his worries. She would worry, she would help the others first. Whomever they may be. She could worry about herself later. His muzzle touched her hide, but she didn't look up. She may have been young . . . but . . .
But she hadn't been a mere child.
Her actions were her own consequences, or her inactions as it were, when she was so much younger, when her world crashed and burned for the first time. She'd not hide the truths behind a curtain, a veil, while putting the focus of blame on a perceived foolish youth. She'd known better, she'd known she should have done more. She'd never been much of a fool anyway. But she still couldn't imagine what they saw in her. Strength? Passion? She was a shell of her former self! Even she could recognize that! So she didn't respond to his heartfelt words, she just couldn't see that picture, she couldn't move forward and forgive, learn just yet.
She wasn't on that step.
"I don't think I could forget about the past, not even if I wanted to," She admitted, her words quiet, "But worry less, please, I'll be fine. It just takes some time." And it had only just been ripped right open, all of those heartaches at the surface. That kind of pain doesn't just go away with a wish. She wasn't expecting the verbal attack next, however, and his regret didn't lessen the punch that his words had delivered. Even if she didn't hesitate to accept his apology.
It came back to friendship making fights personal.
She gently flicked a filmy wing, though, sending a faceful of fairy dust his way, "Oh, do not be stupid. We have been friends long enough for you to know I feel the same way. We are practically siblings. And I do know you'll be there for me too . . . sappy, idiot." She chided, her words softer, almost playful but not quite. She flicked her tail, as if to chase those darker thoughts away, grasping for a safer, gentler topic, "Now then, onto brighter notes, do you, by chance, know how to build a house?"
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Huehuecoyotl
Notes: Might be a bit all over the place. I wrote it at work between jobs :D
It's a saying that haunts the female - a worry that she kept buried deep in her core. A fear that she prays wouldn't be true. If the past isn't doomed to repeat, though; then why hadn't she escaped the broken record. Love, happiness, loss, despair - and then repeat. Over, and over again, a cycle that grew in the emotional trauma it left behind. A cycle that was traumatizing, wounding her. Never letting her heal before another round was called upon. Had she done something in a previous life to deserve it?
At least she wasn't skipping alone.
Every time that record needle slipped, bringing her to her knees, she had support. Friends pick her back up, dust her off, and reset the needle to the soundtrack of her life.Perhaps it was why she'd made it this far. Perhaps that was also why this conversation had hit rough water. Both friends knew the other extremely well, they had been friends for years after all. But while that kind of friendship has its upsides, it also made their fights more personal, and their verbal attacks a lot more hurtful. Particularly in cases like this one.
He just wanted to help, she wasn't ready.
His sigh soothed the bruised ego slightly, she allowed the kind words, warm tone, to wrap her in a familiar shelter of friendship and safety. Her smile, however, was still melancholy, "Mother always did tell me to act the part, so when you go for their throats, they are surprised. And always attack with words. A shaken confidence takes longer to heal than a wound." She mused quietly, "But, I also must be strong. For myself, for my people . . ." for my son. His concerned words did make the melancholy worry warm, however, the familiar way he showed his care, helped heal the hurt feelings. She'd forgotten how mothering he could be.
But she could hold out - just a while longer.
"The pressure may be tough at times, but I've shouldered more stress before - but if I ever need a helping hoof, you'll be the first I turn to. Promise." She reminded him, in an attempt to clear his mind, sooth his worries. She would worry, she would help the others first. Whomever they may be. She could worry about herself later. His muzzle touched her hide, but she didn't look up. She may have been young . . . but . . .
But she hadn't been a mere child.
Her actions were her own consequences, or her inactions as it were, when she was so much younger, when her world crashed and burned for the first time. She'd not hide the truths behind a curtain, a veil, while putting the focus of blame on a perceived foolish youth. She'd known better, she'd known she should have done more. She'd never been much of a fool anyway. But she still couldn't imagine what they saw in her. Strength? Passion? She was a shell of her former self! Even she could recognize that! So she didn't respond to his heartfelt words, she just couldn't see that picture, she couldn't move forward and forgive, learn just yet.
She wasn't on that step.
"I don't think I could forget about the past, not even if I wanted to," She admitted, her words quiet, "But worry less, please, I'll be fine. It just takes some time." And it had only just been ripped right open, all of those heartaches at the surface. That kind of pain doesn't just go away with a wish. She wasn't expecting the verbal attack next, however, and his regret didn't lessen the punch that his words had delivered. Even if she didn't hesitate to accept his apology.
It came back to friendship making fights personal.
She gently flicked a filmy wing, though, sending a faceful of fairy dust his way, "Oh, do not be stupid. We have been friends long enough for you to know I feel the same way. We are practically siblings. And I do know you'll be there for me too . . . sappy, idiot." She chided, her words softer, almost playful but not quite. She flicked her tail, as if to chase those darker thoughts away, grasping for a safer, gentler topic, "Now then, onto brighter notes, do you, by chance, know how to build a house?"
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Huehuecoyotl
Notes: Might be a bit all over the place. I wrote it at work between jobs :D
still remains within the sound of silence
