This flaming guardian could be your worst nightmare...
He could see the pain from his words and wanted nothing more than to take them back. To try again. To never see her in such pain again. It was torture in a way that he didn’t even realize. In that moment, he realized that he still loved her in a way stronger than mere friendship. In a way that would forever be torture for the stallion.
"And I wanted you to be mine!" He reacted without thought, giving voice to the very pain that he was struggling with. He took a moment to cool his emotions as he listened to her speak. "I get it! I screwed up and I am not him. I wont ever be that stallion that you want in your heart. That is my eternal torture." When she turned away, his heart shattered fully. Tears welled in his eyes and he had to take a moment to be able to control the pain that was a torrent in his heart.
"I was scared. I felt like I was dying and had lost my best friend. My world shattered in that time. I made a mistake in trying to protect you. I get it. I never went to the damn library. I went home and laid on the floor feeling the the world was tearing me apart. By the time I felt mortal again, I figured the damage had been done and you didn’t want me." He took a cautious step forward, afraid that she would just push him further from her.
Her tears were knives to his heart as he fought to find words again. "Bel. I wished you were there every moment." Hell, he had called out her name in the midst of his fevers and pain. She was the one being that he had wanted at his side. More than even Oriens. Bel. She was his true north, the direction that he found himself traveling in every way. "If I thought you would believe a word that came out of my mouth, I would vow to never leave or push you away again. I choose you. I would leave my court for you." His words were a bare whisper as he stared at her. The pain in his heart was swamping him, a depth of emotions that he had never seen before.
Her shock was a moment of pause. A moment of silence. He was terrified of how the mare would react to Jiri. Hell, it would probably make her more mad at him. Not that she needed another reason. He had royally fucked up. Then came the pain. The words that had him moving forward without thought. "Bel… Please… I wont ever abandon you. I might screw up and piss you off, but you will always be my home. My true north. The choice I make every day. You are the dearest part of my world and I am so so sorry for hurting you." The stallion braved the ice serpent’s wrath and pressed his muzzle to her neck. He crossed the distance and her touch was cool against his heated flesh.
@‘Below Zero’
Notes: Oh my heart
