Caelum
comes from a long line of blue collars and lace
with a grip like reins to a steed and kisses for days
Caelum would always keep a door open for her best friend.
She knew the issues she had with fire. She'd seen it that first night they had met. But she also knew to respect that Lu had Isra now, as well, "Of course, can't have your girlfriend worrying about why you're not having fun." She teased softly, squishing the little green bug creeping into her heart. It was silly to be jealous of Isra and Lu. She wanted Lu to be happy, and she had other friends to spend time with too. But it didn't make it any easier to hand your best friend away at the alter.
She'd be forever happy for them.
But, it was also a learning curve. The idea of her friend going to mountain, endangering herself in so many ways was like a dam breaking though. The fight seemed to extinguish with in the fae's tiny body as she crumbled to the table, her gaze low, worried, scared. She didn't want to lose someone else, she didn't want to lose Lu. She didn't know if her heart could take another loss. Still, she listened to her friends words, ears turning towards her when she spoke of being angry, of trusting the wrong people, of her kingdom becoming ash.
For a moment, Cael remembered the ash and fire of her city.
But she stomped that away, more focus on Lu, once more grabbing that memory with the others, scrunching it up into a tiny ball and shoving it deep, deep down. Of course, with the emotional dam break, the memory was soon close to the surface once more, fueling her fears, her heartbreak, her worries. She was concerned with her friend though, her muzzle reaching towards her, "I don't want you to have to pay the price, I don't want you to pay any price." She whispered against the neck of her best friend, "I want you well, and healthy. Happy with Isra. Giving me honorary nieces and nephews to play with.
"I want happiness for you, Luvena."
The words flowed so quickly, so effortlessly now that the cautious princess had been replaced by this version of Cael that had been buried for so long beneath the guilt, the fears, the pain and sorrow. She sank down to the pillows next to her friend, "I want happiness for both of us. I want my heart to not hurt, for me to stop having to bury memories that I'm afraid to face. I want to remember the happy times, not just the ending. I don't want to be some painted porcelain doll, hiding a whithering spirit deep inside." She admitted quietly.
She tilted her head, briefly hopeful.
So small they'll start to pile up. She wanted to see those improvements. She wanted to believe it. But it hurt so much. The comforting brush of a muzzle to her side did soothe some of her turmoil as Caelum managed a watery smile, "I don't know why they still love me . . . I lead the ones who destroyed Primulan City to our front doors." She admitted softly, "Well, if your people tried to hang you, I'd have something to say about that . . . " She added quietly to lighten the melancholy mood.
The idea of having to feel it though.
"It hurts to feel it, to feel it all. But . . . maybe that's why it hurts so much now. Letting a wound fester makes it worse, keeps it from healing - perhaps it's much the same with emotional wounds as well." She stated softly, before her watery laugh was more real, "In my defense, I was a young foal, and my cousin and I wanted to go swimming, and it was too far away. It was my cousin's idea to flood the court room into a swimming pool! I just . . . . was the one who actually did it."
She sighed softly, starting to feel some of that weight lift.
"It's so hard to not feel the guilt though. When I reach for a tiny body that isn't there anymore. When I see something that I know Trey would love and I go to show him. When I find Arson's favorite fruit in the market and I want to bring it home for him. When I want to reach out to my brother, and remember there's no contact with the outside world from the Winter Fae Court now." She sighed quietly, shaking her head, "But every so often a bit breaks through. A moment where I can laugh that my adventurous, you can't cage him down, brother is trapped behind a barrier playing the 'good prince' instead of the rebellious one. Or smiling at the memories of my son's first reaction when he tried a mint leaf. Or the way Trey could make me feel butterflies just by grinning crookedly at me, his dark eyes full of promise."
Her smile was less watery now.
"I miss being able to just think on those memories with out having to dig through the pain to find them." She did have to laugh softly at the idea of her friend having a thing for fire-wielders, "Yes, quiet ironic you've fallen into Isra's warm embrace, when you're so hell bent on avoiding fire." She laughed warmly, before flushing in embarrassment, shifting awkwardly, "Oh, no, you don't need to keep your eyes or your ears peeled! It was just a casual observation. It is not anything serious!" The fae muttered quickly, even as she buried her face in a pillow, "In fact, forget I said his name at all, yes?"
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Luvena
Notes: It's so weird not having to edit contractions out of her speech. Not making her word choices more eloquent.
She knew the issues she had with fire. She'd seen it that first night they had met. But she also knew to respect that Lu had Isra now, as well, "Of course, can't have your girlfriend worrying about why you're not having fun." She teased softly, squishing the little green bug creeping into her heart. It was silly to be jealous of Isra and Lu. She wanted Lu to be happy, and she had other friends to spend time with too. But it didn't make it any easier to hand your best friend away at the alter.
She'd be forever happy for them.
But, it was also a learning curve. The idea of her friend going to mountain, endangering herself in so many ways was like a dam breaking though. The fight seemed to extinguish with in the fae's tiny body as she crumbled to the table, her gaze low, worried, scared. She didn't want to lose someone else, she didn't want to lose Lu. She didn't know if her heart could take another loss. Still, she listened to her friends words, ears turning towards her when she spoke of being angry, of trusting the wrong people, of her kingdom becoming ash.
For a moment, Cael remembered the ash and fire of her city.
But she stomped that away, more focus on Lu, once more grabbing that memory with the others, scrunching it up into a tiny ball and shoving it deep, deep down. Of course, with the emotional dam break, the memory was soon close to the surface once more, fueling her fears, her heartbreak, her worries. She was concerned with her friend though, her muzzle reaching towards her, "I don't want you to have to pay the price, I don't want you to pay any price." She whispered against the neck of her best friend, "I want you well, and healthy. Happy with Isra. Giving me honorary nieces and nephews to play with.
"I want happiness for you, Luvena."
The words flowed so quickly, so effortlessly now that the cautious princess had been replaced by this version of Cael that had been buried for so long beneath the guilt, the fears, the pain and sorrow. She sank down to the pillows next to her friend, "I want happiness for both of us. I want my heart to not hurt, for me to stop having to bury memories that I'm afraid to face. I want to remember the happy times, not just the ending. I don't want to be some painted porcelain doll, hiding a whithering spirit deep inside." She admitted quietly.
She tilted her head, briefly hopeful.
So small they'll start to pile up. She wanted to see those improvements. She wanted to believe it. But it hurt so much. The comforting brush of a muzzle to her side did soothe some of her turmoil as Caelum managed a watery smile, "I don't know why they still love me . . . I lead the ones who destroyed Primulan City to our front doors." She admitted softly, "Well, if your people tried to hang you, I'd have something to say about that . . . " She added quietly to lighten the melancholy mood.
The idea of having to feel it though.
"It hurts to feel it, to feel it all. But . . . maybe that's why it hurts so much now. Letting a wound fester makes it worse, keeps it from healing - perhaps it's much the same with emotional wounds as well." She stated softly, before her watery laugh was more real, "In my defense, I was a young foal, and my cousin and I wanted to go swimming, and it was too far away. It was my cousin's idea to flood the court room into a swimming pool! I just . . . . was the one who actually did it."
She sighed softly, starting to feel some of that weight lift.
"It's so hard to not feel the guilt though. When I reach for a tiny body that isn't there anymore. When I see something that I know Trey would love and I go to show him. When I find Arson's favorite fruit in the market and I want to bring it home for him. When I want to reach out to my brother, and remember there's no contact with the outside world from the Winter Fae Court now." She sighed quietly, shaking her head, "But every so often a bit breaks through. A moment where I can laugh that my adventurous, you can't cage him down, brother is trapped behind a barrier playing the 'good prince' instead of the rebellious one. Or smiling at the memories of my son's first reaction when he tried a mint leaf. Or the way Trey could make me feel butterflies just by grinning crookedly at me, his dark eyes full of promise."
Her smile was less watery now.
"I miss being able to just think on those memories with out having to dig through the pain to find them." She did have to laugh softly at the idea of her friend having a thing for fire-wielders, "Yes, quiet ironic you've fallen into Isra's warm embrace, when you're so hell bent on avoiding fire." She laughed warmly, before flushing in embarrassment, shifting awkwardly, "Oh, no, you don't need to keep your eyes or your ears peeled! It was just a casual observation. It is not anything serious!" The fae muttered quickly, even as she buried her face in a pillow, "In fact, forget I said his name at all, yes?"
"Speech"
Thoughts
@Luvena
Notes: It's so weird not having to edit contractions out of her speech. Not making her word choices more eloquent.
Wwo still loves her daddy but changes her name
an overachiever, even she don't believe her own fame
art by bingo
