A s t a
'cause i thought i saw your soul
I checked the door again.
No change.
Locked.
Always Locked.
It was.
Always.
LOCKED.
Ever since they realized I'd snuck to that meeting. You don't need to be there. and We told you we'd tell you later and What if something had happened to you, and of course my favorite part, You are our daughter, you do what we tell you. Now I am stuck. My door to the hallway was locked. My door to the front balcony was locked. I was trapped, in this stupid room, behind these stupid walls. Sure, they let me out for meals, and for lessons, but other than that. I was stuck in here. And I was constantly under watch, three to five guards; every time I was allowed to leave.
This wasn't a home.
It was a prison.
A jail cell.
I was a trapped princess in a tower. A pretty doll behind a display cabinet's glass. An ornament that was to be admired, to be obedient. A perfect daughter. A lady of the house. The Heiress of Stendahl. Well fuck this. Fuck them! I stared around at my destroyed room with a twisted sense of pride in my gut. The draperies around my bed were torn, my mattress shredded. Feathers from my pillows still floated through the air from where I had stabbed stabbed stabbed them. Nicknacks broken. Ornaments pulled off walls. Fancy clothes shredded, jewelry smashed.
My door swung open and I froze.
My parents were staring in horror.
I felt a slow grin split across my face, I got tired of looking at the same old place for weeks on end. I explained casually. My mother stepped aside as my father strolled towards me, and I felt a twist of fear in my gut. I knew that look, I'd seen it before in previous life times. So I wasn't to surprised by the force of the slap, even as I hit the ground. I winced as my father loomed over me. You think this is a joke? You belong to us, you are our daughter. We decide who you talk to, where you go, what you do, how you act, what you say. I stared up, feeling the fear settle over my heart, even as my mother tried to reach out to him, her voice soft. He slapped her touch away, Silence, woman. I am speaking. My mother fell quiet, like a good wife, a good lady of the house. This, was this to be my future as well. To look away, silent as my future husband beat our children for not conforming.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
I was on my feet before I knew it, rushing through the hallways, ignoring the hooves pounding behind me. I didn't look down the stairs, didn't try to head to the next level. I knew they would catch me unless I was reckless. And I was always reckless. At the end of the hallway was a window, a large window, and it opened up onto a gentle down-slope roof. I braced myself and leapt through it. A nearly bit through my tongue, trying not to cry at the jagged glass that tore at my limbs, but I didn't stop, shaking most of the glass from my hair, I half ran, half slid down the slope, and taking a deep breath, I JUMPED.
It was like flying.
I'd had wings before you know.
Another life.
An easier life.
I rolled, careful to not impact the ground directly, and struggled to my feet, ignoring the staring guards at the front door that was looking from me, to the guards peering out through the window. I didn't have time for them to come around. I ran. I ran straight to the heart of Dusk, straight to the Citadel with my only salvation. Pain laced up with each step, blood weeping form the small cuts that I ignored in my drive to escape, to escape this life, this future. The ideals of who I was to be, who they wanted me to grow into. I burst through the main doors, raced through the hallways to where Liam had told me I could find him.
I pushed through the doors, panting, LIAM! I'm over it!" I cried, panting as I could finally stop, my legs suddenly folding beneath me, I had to jump out a window and off the roof to escape the manor! I can't keep doing this! I need he-" My words died in the middle of my plea as I looked up at the stranger, You're not Liam." I stood slowly, forcing my limbs not to shake, I apologize for my interruption. I . . . uh, need to find Liam, do you know where he is?" I waited briefly, even as I took a step towards the door.
And another step.
And another step.
Pain shot back up again, and I felt my legs give out once more, wincing as I collided with the ground. Jumping through windows got more dangerous when we started using glass to build with." I didn't bother to get up, didn't explain myself anymore to the stranger as I instead just stayed on the ground, waiting, buying time for my energy to return, trying to ignore the pain in my limbs, and hoping this stranger would at least fetch Liam for me.
FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Buchanan
Notes:: Adoption process, activate.
No change.
Locked.
Always Locked.
It was.
Always.
LOCKED.
Ever since they realized I'd snuck to that meeting. You don't need to be there. and We told you we'd tell you later and What if something had happened to you, and of course my favorite part, You are our daughter, you do what we tell you. Now I am stuck. My door to the hallway was locked. My door to the front balcony was locked. I was trapped, in this stupid room, behind these stupid walls. Sure, they let me out for meals, and for lessons, but other than that. I was stuck in here. And I was constantly under watch, three to five guards; every time I was allowed to leave.
This wasn't a home.
It was a prison.
A jail cell.
I was a trapped princess in a tower. A pretty doll behind a display cabinet's glass. An ornament that was to be admired, to be obedient. A perfect daughter. A lady of the house. The Heiress of Stendahl. Well fuck this. Fuck them! I stared around at my destroyed room with a twisted sense of pride in my gut. The draperies around my bed were torn, my mattress shredded. Feathers from my pillows still floated through the air from where I had stabbed stabbed stabbed them. Nicknacks broken. Ornaments pulled off walls. Fancy clothes shredded, jewelry smashed.
My door swung open and I froze.
My parents were staring in horror.
I felt a slow grin split across my face, I got tired of looking at the same old place for weeks on end. I explained casually. My mother stepped aside as my father strolled towards me, and I felt a twist of fear in my gut. I knew that look, I'd seen it before in previous life times. So I wasn't to surprised by the force of the slap, even as I hit the ground. I winced as my father loomed over me. You think this is a joke? You belong to us, you are our daughter. We decide who you talk to, where you go, what you do, how you act, what you say. I stared up, feeling the fear settle over my heart, even as my mother tried to reach out to him, her voice soft. He slapped her touch away, Silence, woman. I am speaking. My mother fell quiet, like a good wife, a good lady of the house. This, was this to be my future as well. To look away, silent as my future husband beat our children for not conforming.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
I was on my feet before I knew it, rushing through the hallways, ignoring the hooves pounding behind me. I didn't look down the stairs, didn't try to head to the next level. I knew they would catch me unless I was reckless. And I was always reckless. At the end of the hallway was a window, a large window, and it opened up onto a gentle down-slope roof. I braced myself and leapt through it. A nearly bit through my tongue, trying not to cry at the jagged glass that tore at my limbs, but I didn't stop, shaking most of the glass from my hair, I half ran, half slid down the slope, and taking a deep breath, I JUMPED.
It was like flying.
I'd had wings before you know.
Another life.
An easier life.
I rolled, careful to not impact the ground directly, and struggled to my feet, ignoring the staring guards at the front door that was looking from me, to the guards peering out through the window. I didn't have time for them to come around. I ran. I ran straight to the heart of Dusk, straight to the Citadel with my only salvation. Pain laced up with each step, blood weeping form the small cuts that I ignored in my drive to escape, to escape this life, this future. The ideals of who I was to be, who they wanted me to grow into. I burst through the main doors, raced through the hallways to where Liam had told me I could find him.
I pushed through the doors, panting, LIAM! I'm over it!" I cried, panting as I could finally stop, my legs suddenly folding beneath me, I had to jump out a window and off the roof to escape the manor! I can't keep doing this! I need he-" My words died in the middle of my plea as I looked up at the stranger, You're not Liam." I stood slowly, forcing my limbs not to shake, I apologize for my interruption. I . . . uh, need to find Liam, do you know where he is?" I waited briefly, even as I took a step towards the door.
And another step.
And another step.
Pain shot back up again, and I felt my legs give out once more, wincing as I collided with the ground. Jumping through windows got more dangerous when we started using glass to build with." I didn't bother to get up, didn't explain myself anymore to the stranger as I instead just stayed on the ground, waiting, buying time for my energy to return, trying to ignore the pain in my limbs, and hoping this stranger would at least fetch Liam for me.
FROM THE MOUTH
INSIDE THE MIND
@Buchanan
Notes:: Adoption process, activate.
shades of jade and emerald
