I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
and rage the likes of which you would not believe.
If I cannot satisfy one,
I will indulge the other.
Since his arrival, his grief and rage had slowly waned. The opposing emotions still warred within his chest, but they were tamer. They merely bubbled underneath the ice and armor Gaston had donned to shield himself. He slid into his old skin so well, it should have bothered him, but he was a man on a mission. If he was to find her, he needed a clear head. Once he found her, Gaston wasn't certain what he would do. Kiss her? Strangle her? Finally call it quits? He certainly deserved better than this. Gaston knew the despite his sordid and complicated past, even a man of a dubious nature like his certainly warranted more than just a farewell note. He had chased her for so long, stood by as she married another man, protected her when her heart was broken; and all it earned him was years of torment.
Uncertainty swirled in his chest. He had dressed that morning with care, mindful of each knot and chain of his vibrant silks. As if each knot would guard him and each chain would hold him together. Now there is was no aimless wandering these days, ever since finding the Night Court. Gaston had been mindful of his purpose. He had settled quickly in Denocte, finding comfort in the souls who were so similar to Gaston himself he could call them brothers in arms. He had found a purpose and settled into the Night Court's army with ease. Sure, there were hiccups, but that was to be expected. He was a foreign transient, after all, but he made swift work to blend seamlessly with his comrades. No promises, nor compensation for the effort, just to live and let live was enough. Yet, the comforting familiarity these new lands gave him could not blind Gaston. The pegasus knew what he had to do. When not training, Gaston wandered. He covered miles of land by hoof and wing, searching for the clues he had been tirelessly hunting for so long.
After so long with nothing, he had become accustomed to disappointment. However...something was amiss. The morning air felt different, prompting Gaston to dress slower and more methodically as if to don his metaphorical armor with greater care. Despair lingers, blending with the sickly unease that has trickled down his spine since he awoke. Gaston's stomach churns nauseatingly, but the sudden desire to go prompts the pegasus to skip a morning meal and his routine morning workouts. Something in his subconscious was driving him from the capital, and who was he to deny a gut feeling? Listening to his gut was the only reason he was even still alive at this point in his life.
He took to the sky with ease, knowing he would cover more ground than by hoof. As time trickled and early morn gave way to the warm rays of daylight, irritation had settled into his bones. Just as Gaston is about to throw in the towel, his ruby eyes scan something. In an instant, his gaze is locked on to the flash of color on the lakeshore below him. There was no mistaking the flash of black and gold. He circled back around, content to fly over the lake for a moment so she might not see his shadow just yet so he can observe from a distance. Gaston is too far away to make out much of her, but as she begins to walk along the edges of the lake, he is keenly aware of one thing: her sorrow. He knows how she carries it too well, yet he cannot find it within himself to empathize with her at that moment. Instead, his old rage surges to the surface, driving Gaston from the sky to confront her. He does not bother to conceal his approach, knowing she would inevitably see his shadow anyway.
Gaston lands elegantly with a snarl curling his lips. His grief returned with his rage, both emotions rolling off of him in turbulent waves. His heart yearned for him to run to her, but his emotions and his mind kept his onyx hooves firmly planted in the soil. Instead, he withdrew into himself - further into his invisible armor, knowing that this confrontation will hurt him no matter which way it goes. "Don't," Gaston growled, his low voice biting despite its lack of volume. "I have stood at your side in whatever capacity you would have me for years and I was only worthy of a note? If you are done with me, I think I deserved at least a goodbye to my face."
His voice does not waver, but he can feel his heart fracturing at the mere idea. Had he chased her for all this time for nothing? Maybe she was done with him and had left a note in a misplaced attempt to not hurt him. But didn't he at least deserve some closure?
tagged: @Io Kairavi
notes: none
"Speech." Thoughts.
Uncertainty swirled in his chest. He had dressed that morning with care, mindful of each knot and chain of his vibrant silks. As if each knot would guard him and each chain would hold him together. Now there is was no aimless wandering these days, ever since finding the Night Court. Gaston had been mindful of his purpose. He had settled quickly in Denocte, finding comfort in the souls who were so similar to Gaston himself he could call them brothers in arms. He had found a purpose and settled into the Night Court's army with ease. Sure, there were hiccups, but that was to be expected. He was a foreign transient, after all, but he made swift work to blend seamlessly with his comrades. No promises, nor compensation for the effort, just to live and let live was enough. Yet, the comforting familiarity these new lands gave him could not blind Gaston. The pegasus knew what he had to do. When not training, Gaston wandered. He covered miles of land by hoof and wing, searching for the clues he had been tirelessly hunting for so long.
After so long with nothing, he had become accustomed to disappointment. However...something was amiss. The morning air felt different, prompting Gaston to dress slower and more methodically as if to don his metaphorical armor with greater care. Despair lingers, blending with the sickly unease that has trickled down his spine since he awoke. Gaston's stomach churns nauseatingly, but the sudden desire to go prompts the pegasus to skip a morning meal and his routine morning workouts. Something in his subconscious was driving him from the capital, and who was he to deny a gut feeling? Listening to his gut was the only reason he was even still alive at this point in his life.
He took to the sky with ease, knowing he would cover more ground than by hoof. As time trickled and early morn gave way to the warm rays of daylight, irritation had settled into his bones. Just as Gaston is about to throw in the towel, his ruby eyes scan something. In an instant, his gaze is locked on to the flash of color on the lakeshore below him. There was no mistaking the flash of black and gold. He circled back around, content to fly over the lake for a moment so she might not see his shadow just yet so he can observe from a distance. Gaston is too far away to make out much of her, but as she begins to walk along the edges of the lake, he is keenly aware of one thing: her sorrow. He knows how she carries it too well, yet he cannot find it within himself to empathize with her at that moment. Instead, his old rage surges to the surface, driving Gaston from the sky to confront her. He does not bother to conceal his approach, knowing she would inevitably see his shadow anyway.
Gaston lands elegantly with a snarl curling his lips. His grief returned with his rage, both emotions rolling off of him in turbulent waves. His heart yearned for him to run to her, but his emotions and his mind kept his onyx hooves firmly planted in the soil. Instead, he withdrew into himself - further into his invisible armor, knowing that this confrontation will hurt him no matter which way it goes. "Don't," Gaston growled, his low voice biting despite its lack of volume. "I have stood at your side in whatever capacity you would have me for years and I was only worthy of a note? If you are done with me, I think I deserved at least a goodbye to my face."
His voice does not waver, but he can feel his heart fracturing at the mere idea. Had he chased her for all this time for nothing? Maybe she was done with him and had left a note in a misplaced attempt to not hurt him. But didn't he at least deserve some closure?
tagged: @Io Kairavi
notes: none
"Speech." Thoughts.
