I'm gonna love you till
My lungs give out
The sigh. The sigh makes her heart sink, is she testing his patience? Is she pushing too far? An anxiety is welling up in her chest while he starts to speak, she doesn't get the chance to answer his question about his mother before he's telling her. It feels familiar, like this had been something they'd talked about at their first meeting but she's fairly certain it had been her on the other end. She had been the one explaining her mother, and his words strike a chord in her. The way Gaston describes his mother feels like he's describing a part of Io herself, a golden cage, never being free. Part of her understands this on a deeply personal level, making her ears tip back until he mentions meeting her and his mothers dying wish. This makes her anxiety bubble up even more, she doesn't want to be held to a standard like that. She doesn't feel like she can be a standard, doesn't think she can properly fulfill something of that height. She's not the paragon her family had heralded her as and that rings in her head, pushing down on her until she reminds herself. She doesn't have to be, she's fine as she is. She doesn't need to reach a certain caliber if she's with him, it's okay.
Io's calmed for a moment with this, at least until he steps away and she steps forward like it's instinct. She's never fallen low enough to chase someone's touch but she's beginning to feel like that's exactly what she's doing. The mare is quiet, almost silent as she absorbs the words with something like a wisp of a smile on her lips. But when Gaston embraces her back with the words that he'd still choose her she felt something break inside. She doesn't want to admit it but Io knows that what's breaking started with a crack that started only days before but now? She feels fragile, like she's going to fall apart, this results in Io pressing closer to him like she could hide from the world. The weight that pulls down on her feels lighter in his embrace yet she can feel her body vibrating from a rush of anxiety pulsing through her. "Don't. Don't let go." It's choked out in a loud sob that finally, finally pull her down. She slips out from his grasp, crumpling down to the grounds with loud sobs that break her down more and more. It was the comfort, the warmth in him that she hadn't felt in so long that broke her down. "Why am I always crying?"
Io presses her forehead into one of his legs as she calms herself with deep breaths before a whisper comes out. "I feel so broken right now Gaston. My sister...she's here in these lands, I saw her only a few days ago and she wants nothing to do with me. I don't know what to do to fix how much I fucked up with her." Her breath is shaky, she's trying to stop her tears but she's failing so badly. "Do you know what she asked me? She asked me who I was, she said I wasn't her sister. But do you know the worst part Gaston? I can't even figure out who I am anymore either. What do you do when you lose yourself? How do you find who you are when you got lost years ago?" She wants so badly to scream, she's mad at herself but more than anything she's feeling lost all over again. Just like she had when she had to leave Elysium and found Caeleste. Was that when she lost herself? Or maybe it was in the fire? Yeah, yeah it was about in that timeline that she shut herself up. She'd felt, feels, so much that it's just easier to shut it all down. "I found her and I lost her all over again in just minutes. Please, please don't let me go."
"Talk."
NATIVE LANGUAGE, HOVER OVER ME
Thoughts
Chandrakant
Tags » @Gaston
Voice » Liv Tyler as Arwen
OOC » -cry- that hug just broke her, I'm blaming Luvena and Gaston
