Dance like no one is watching
The words from the stallion soothed the fae, helping her to breathe. "You may not demonstrate affection, but your words speak a different story. I think my biggest fear was that it wouldn’t be possible for you to come if I asked. I have felt so alone here, so adrift from who I am and what I need to do. I missed you… More than I could ever imagine." She murmured as she watched him, her eyes on his as she smiled at his promise. "I think I am afraid to ask for help because I am terrified of being weak." She whispered softly.
His words were harsh, but honest. And Syn found that she could breathe as she let his words sink in. "I hate when you are right." She muttered as she took a deep breath. It wasnt loss of pain, but rather a shift that happened within her heart as she let his words wrap around her. Caelum needed her as much as she needed the elder fae. She sighed softly, tears still streaming down her face as she tried to understand and accept what she was feeling.
Syn feels him startle and sighs softly. "Sorry… I didn’t think. You are not the most touchy being and I usually can remember that." She said softly, snorting at his attempt at comfort. "The stages of grief suck. Why would you have to sort through things with more emotions? It seems like the mind’s way to make everything worse." She grumbled softly.
His words about her cousin were honest. There was a part of her that was amused. It was as if he knew the other mare. "It is so hard to take those next steps… Terrifying… So many what ifs swirling in my head." She stated softly.
Syn flicked an ear and shot him a wavering smile. "Extracting slime from slugs?" She asked, eyes wide in horror at the disgusting task. "While perhaps shameful… it is easier than feeling the pain. Than trying to be perfect. I am not perfect, never will be. But yet, Caelum makes me feel like I have to. Like I need to be her perfect shadow without being myself. It is hard. My parents wanted me to be the essence of cold, to be cruel and calculating and everything expected of a unseelie. I always wanted to be with Caelum, happy and having fun. Now it feels like I need to step back into the dark role I was supposed to take to balance her light…" She said softly, the tears finally drying as she spoke. She took a drink of the tea and frowned at the smoother texture. She wanted another drink of alcohol, but was not going to ask Sav for one.
"Speaking."
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